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Bond film, from your nightmares!

royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
in Bond Movies Posts: 4,423
Create your own worst Bond film.


Does what it says on the tin peeps! After the furore that the Rihanna rumour caused, I thought it would be fun to create the worst possible people to helm a Bond film.

James Bond, 007 – Justin Bieber
Bond Girl – Miley Cyrus
Villain – Dolph Lundgren
Music - Steve Jablonsky
Main Title Theme – One Direction
Directed by – Michael Bay
Produced by – Jerry Bruckheimer

Over to you!
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Comments

  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited October 2014 Posts: 18,270
    One that either starred or featured a theme song by Rihanna! Heaven forbid surely?
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    I wonder how long it will take some comic genius to come up with DAD?
  • OHMSS69OHMSS69
    Posts: 2,341
    James Bond Eric Roberts
    Villain Robert Pattinson
    Main Girl Kristen Stewart
    M Bruce Willis
    Moneypenny Gabriele Union
    Theme song Justin Bieber
    Director Ron Howard
  • JohnBarryFanJohnBarryFan
    Posts: 1,405
    James Bond Dwayne Johnson
    Villain Van Diesel
    Main Girl Cameron Diaz
    M Will Ferrell
    Moneypenny Lucy Liu
    Theme song Eminem
    Director Marc Forster
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,789
    JohnBarryFan wrote: »
    Director Marc Forster
    As Short Round would say, Not very funny.
    QOS was a fantastic movie much like the 1989 Batman & LTK seeing as there was a writer's strike.

    :P
  • fromswedenwithlovefromswedenwithlove
    Posts: 654
    Three words: Die... Another Day.....
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    fromswedenwithlove wrote: »
    Three words: Die... Another Day.....

    Brilliant.
  • TokolosheTokoloshe Under your bed
    Posts: 2,667
    TheWizardOfIce wrote: »
    I wonder how long it will take some comic genius to come up with DAD?

    Not long, then.

  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    James Bond, 007 – Pierce Brosnan
    Bond Girl – Izabella Scorupco
    Villain – Sean Bean
    Music - Éric Serra

  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    James Bond, 007 – Pierce Brosnan
    Bond Girl – Izabella Scorupco
    Villain – Sean Bean
    Music - Éric Serra

  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2014 Posts: 11,189
    royale65 wrote:
    Create your own worst Bond film.
    Directed by – Michael Bay
    Produced by – Jerry Bruckheimer

    Over to you!

    Kind of ironic. I'd hate these two to be part of the series aswell but they made one of the most enjoyable non-Bond Bond films of the 1990s. It even had Bond in it ;)


  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,270
    Tokoloshe wrote: »
    TheWizardOfIce wrote: »
    I wonder how long it will take some comic genius to come up with DAD?

    Not long, then.

    Brilliant, Wiz! :))
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,351
    Getafix wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – Pierce Brosnan
    Bond Girl – Izabella Scorupco
    Villain – Sean Bean
    Music - Éric Serra

    8-|
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,270
    Birdleson wrote: »
    I'm no fan of Izabella Scorupco, far from it, but there are far more nightmarish Bond girls out there. Serra's music periodically brings that movie to a halt.

    The music - it's a dodgy 90s thing...
  • Master_DaharkMaster_Dahark
    Posts: 4,813
    I had such a crush on her when I first saw that movie- I wonder what she's up to now? I saw her in that Chris O'Donnell movie (Vertical Limit?) and that was it
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,270
    Master_Dahark wrote: »
    I had such a crush on her when I first saw that movie- I wonder what she's up to now? I saw her in that Chris O'Donnell movie (Vertical Limit?) and that was it

    She's looking very well from the photos I have seen...
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Isabella is one of my favourite Bond girls.
  • mirandafrostmirandafrost
    Posts: 368
    Getafix wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – Pierce Brosnan
    Bond Girl – Izabella Scorupco
    Villain – Sean Bean
    Music - Éric Serra
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Isabella is one of my favourite Bond girls.
    Agree. And I just LOVED Sean Bean as villain! And Broz is my favourite Bond. ;)

  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,270
    Here's one for ya: Justin Bieber as James Bond? :D
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Here's one for ya: Justin Bieber as James Bond? :D

    That's just sick!!!
    :-&
  • AceHoleAceHole Belgium, via Britain
    edited October 2014 Posts: 1,731
    James Bond, 007 – David Hasselhoff
    Bond Girl – Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
    Villain – Simon Cowell
    Music - Eric Serra (seriously - what the cr*p was that?!)
    Main Title Theme – David Hasselhoff
    Directed by – David Hasselhoff
    Produced by – David Hasselhoff

    I rest my case.
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    edited October 2014 Posts: 6,432
    James Bond, 007 – John Travolta
    Bond Girl – Julia roberts
    Miss Moneypenny - Kirsten Dunst
    Q - Adam Sandler
    M - Judi Dench
    Villain – pee wee herman
    Music - ABBA
    Main Title Theme – One Direction
    Directed by – Joel schumacher
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,270
    RogueAgent wrote: »
    Dragonpol wrote: »
    Here's one for ya: Justin Bieber as James Bond? :D

    That's just sick!!!
    :-&

    Yes, that's the worst case scenario, isn't it. Either that or Daniel O'Donnell - he said that he wanted to play James Bond at one point around 2002!
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    AceHole wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – David Hasselhoff
    Bond Girl – Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
    Villain – Simon Cowell
    Music - Eric Serra (seriously - what the cr*p was that?!)
    Main Title Theme – David Hasselhoff
    Directed by – David Hasselhoff
    Produced by – David Hasselhoff

    I rest my case.

    Not a fan of The Hoff then!! ;)
  • dominicgreenedominicgreene The Eternal QOS Defender
    Posts: 1,756
    Getafix wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – Pierce Brosnan
    Bond Girl – Izabella Scorupco
    Villain – Sean Bean
    Music - Éric Serra

    U_WOT_M8.jpg

  • AceHoleAceHole Belgium, via Britain
    Posts: 1,731
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    AceHole wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – David Hasselhoff
    Bond Girl – Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
    Villain – Simon Cowell
    Music - Eric Serra (seriously - what the cr*p was that?!)
    Main Title Theme – David Hasselhoff
    Directed by – David Hasselhoff
    Produced by – David Hasselhoff

    I rest my case.

    Not a fan of The Hoff then!! ;)

    Well, let's just say that the highlight of the man's creative output adds up to the combined genius of producing Baywatch and singing "Jump in my car".
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2014 Posts: 11,189
    "Jump in my car" is genius :p

    Him and 1985 Roger Moore should team up.

    Oh and there's this little scene too. Utter cinematic brilliance :D

  • Quantum_UkQuantum_Uk
    Posts: 42
    James Bond, 007 – Nicholas Cage
    Bond Girl – Lindsay lohan
    Villain – Keanu Reeves
    M - Rowan Atkinson
    Q - Lee Evans
    Main Title Theme – Michael Bolton
    Directed by – Michael Bay
    Produced by – Joel Schumacher
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2014 Posts: 11,189
    Quantum_Uk wrote: »
    James Bond, 007 – Nicholas Cage

    Gotta love old Nick.


  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited October 2014 Posts: 9,117
    I really don't see the point of this thread - seems to be just thinking up more and more stupid people to appear in a Bond film; the more inane the better.

    James Bond - Benny from Crossroads
    Bond Girl - Sandi Toksvig
    Villain - JR Hartley
    M - That African taxi driver the BBC interviewed by mistake
    Q - Marcel Proust
    Main title theme - the Wurzels
    Director - Gordon the Gopher
    Producer - Carlton Palmer

    Is this really what passes for debate on the worlds premier James Bond forum?

    I guess I'm just a miserable old git who has no sense of humour.
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