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James Bond Parody, 2nd edition! - Add one sentence

13

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  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "sounds messy" replied bond " though I'd quite like to taste that particular vintage" added bond thinking of grape juice running down Sarahs firm tanned thighs.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    "So tell me," Bond continued, stifling a snicker over the brilliant wordplay that had just sprung to mind, "what have you heard through the grapevine?"
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Sarah did not laugh, with that demure yet rather proud mouth of hers. "Well James there's a lot to get to knowing about Agent Pantzov thats off the books, I've been shadowing her for three months, her employer is a man by the name of.... " - But she couldn't spit it out, a big beeping bomb blew up beneath their table and threw them across the room.
  • mcdonbbmcdonbb deep in the Heart of Texas
    edited August 2016 Posts: 4,116
    Aaaarrrrgghhh!!!! .....*thump*
  • dominicgreenedominicgreene The Eternal QOS Defender
    edited August 2016 Posts: 1,756
    Bond quickly gets up. Panic at the club, but he's okay. Bond quickly checks to make sure his Omega Planet Ocean is still alright. He walks over to Sarah's legs, her torso on the other side of the room. "My wine knowledge must have blew her away."
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    edited August 2016 Posts: 1,296
    Sarah was still allive and did not appreciate the joke.
    Bond looked out the window of the bar to see a big bald man watching him from through the flames, cellphone in one hand, head in the other..... his own head not Bond's. Bond quickly placed Q's voice modifier in his mouth, kissed Sarah to acquire her vocal signature (thats how it works, maybe woudl be useful later), then jumped up and gave the bald man chase.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,281
    James Bond was rather out of puff. He thought to himself that he really shouldn't have had those fishcakes.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    As he forced back down a mouthful he considered, White wine with fish, at least I knew what I was doing.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Time to speed up, he clicked his heels, and two Q wheelies popped out, and he
    wizzed after the bald man.
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Meanwhile at the Bar, Sarah reattached her sexy-hot prosthetic legs.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    Posts: 18,281
    For James Bond, sad memories of Felix Leiter's shark mauling many years ago came rushing back to him.
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    She began to crush her own special vintage to celebrate survival as Bond continued to give chase.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Bond stopped for a quick selfie, to let Sarah know how the chase was going.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    She sent him back a text asking about the bald man who had just photobombed his selfie, and Bond was just beginning to type "What bald man?" when his whole world went black.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Thunderpussy wrote: »
    Bond stopped for a self quickie

    that s too much information.

  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    "Mr bond?, Mr bond? Can you hear me Mr bond?" Bond felt a heaviness in his head, he could feel his arms and legs but couldn't move them, through the fog in his head bonds senses were screaming at him, your in trouble now old boy.
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    edited August 2016 Posts: 1,296
    Bond woke up stark naked at the bottom of a giant tumbler glass as a disembodied voice spoke to him.

    Edit: Nevermind
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Friends I got carried away too much too soon....

    Bond woke to, and he was strapped to a wooden table with a blinding light in his eyes.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited August 2016 Posts: 18,281
    He realised he was at his Dentist's Surgery.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    The sound of " The girl from Ipanema" filled his ears, as he observed a tray of various medical
    Implements on a small tray beside him.
  • ChriscoopChriscoop North Yorkshire
    Posts: 281
    " now Mr bond, I'll advise you not to struggle and just relax, it hurts more if you struggle " said a melodious voice, somehow strangely familier, Bond felt a smooth metal object being pushed into his mouth.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    It was a lighter.
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Bond's little Mister Dentist removed his mouthcap to reveal that it was actually darling Q, undercover and quickly installing an electronic bird call device into Bond's open mouth.
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    "Sorry about having to knock you out back there," Q said. "But I forgot to give you this before you left and I knew you'd never come willingly to the dentist. Oh, and don't mind my bald cap, just been having a bad hair day, that's all. You weren't in the middle of something very important, were you?"
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    edited August 2016 Posts: 1,296
    Bond's mouth was hinged wide open, so he chose to spoke in bird.
    "Actually Q, you cockblocked me in a very explosive way.... how dare you buddy.... any other gadgets you forgot to give me? A Q-Scooter descending from my watch perhaps? P-KAWWW!"
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Somebody else go.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    We don't really go in for that sort of thing anymore .
  • Some_Kind_Of_HeroSome_Kind_Of_Hero
    Posts: 6,844
    "Toucan play at this game, my fair-feather friend," Bond said, spitting in the spit cup and whipping off his smock. "Now if you'll excuse me, it's time I flew this coop. Chirp, chirp!"
  • IGUANNAIGUANNA
    Posts: 1,296
    Bond kicked Q in the groin, kissed him gently on his bald cap, and threw himself out the window.
  • SanchairsSanchairs UK
    Posts: 140
    Q muttered under his breadth, 'he's such a pane'...meanwhile Bond broke his fall as he landed on Prince Charles...
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