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Voting with abnormal Bond criteria
DarthDimi
Behind you!Moderator
We're supposed to loath our villains, feel attracted towards our Bond girls, have sympathies for our allies and most of all, desire to be Bond.
But this time... it's going to be the other way around!
Which villain do you respect, would you like to hang out with or even join in his scheme? Which Bond girl do you find absolutely abominable and will never be allowed to step into your house? In fact, in her company, you'd be embarrassed, ashamed. Which ally do you consider less than helpful, more of an obstacle in fact? And last but not least, when did Bond do something that made you think you wouldn't want to be 007 right there and then?
My choises:
<b>Villain you respect</b>
Doctor No. He's a brilliant man, conducting scientific research of the utmost importance. Like Frankenstein, he feels that the progress of science allows a few sacrifices, especially since the leaders of the world chose to ignore his talents. While his Crab Key conduct isn't exactly that of a law abiding citizen, he doesn't directly target the completely innocent, which makes him a proud man forced to drive his point home in a less conventional manner without being a mass murderer, capitalist or evil doer of Hitler proportions.
<b>Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with</b>
Rosie Carver. Here's why. She's ugly and utterly clumsy, she has a voice that puts my intestines in a coma, she doesn't convince me as an active member of any agency and - I repeat - she's ugly.
<b>Useless ally</b>
Does the DAF Leiter have any usefulness at all? He screws up simple surveillance jobs, drops in too late, needs Bond to guide him through the simple smuggling scheme (I mean, where else would the diamonds have been stuffed? Between Franks' toes?) and guards the happy couple most ineffectively. The CIA definitely didn't look good in DAF. At least in GF one can argue they aided effectively in stopping the bomb. I don't even think the helicopter attack demonstrated the CIA as required assistance to Bond. It caused some turmoil but I'm pretty confident Bond could have found the inappropriately disguised hole in the floor anyway...
<b>When you disapprove of Bond's attitude</b>
Silly as it may seem, the elephant kid in TMWTGG forces Bond into a painful moment, for two reasons in fact. First of all, there's the obvious fact of making a promise to a poor kid and not keeping it. Secondly, how come 007 can't figure out the ostensibly simple mechanics of the boat engine? He's supposed to be a naval commander yet he can't find the magic switch on this ordinary boat? I know, I know, I should really be blaming the screenwriters but hey, this is how the game is played in this thread. ;;)
So what are your choices?
But this time... it's going to be the other way around!
Which villain do you respect, would you like to hang out with or even join in his scheme? Which Bond girl do you find absolutely abominable and will never be allowed to step into your house? In fact, in her company, you'd be embarrassed, ashamed. Which ally do you consider less than helpful, more of an obstacle in fact? And last but not least, when did Bond do something that made you think you wouldn't want to be 007 right there and then?
My choises:
<b>Villain you respect</b>
Doctor No. He's a brilliant man, conducting scientific research of the utmost importance. Like Frankenstein, he feels that the progress of science allows a few sacrifices, especially since the leaders of the world chose to ignore his talents. While his Crab Key conduct isn't exactly that of a law abiding citizen, he doesn't directly target the completely innocent, which makes him a proud man forced to drive his point home in a less conventional manner without being a mass murderer, capitalist or evil doer of Hitler proportions.
<b>Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with</b>
Rosie Carver. Here's why. She's ugly and utterly clumsy, she has a voice that puts my intestines in a coma, she doesn't convince me as an active member of any agency and - I repeat - she's ugly.
<b>Useless ally</b>
Does the DAF Leiter have any usefulness at all? He screws up simple surveillance jobs, drops in too late, needs Bond to guide him through the simple smuggling scheme (I mean, where else would the diamonds have been stuffed? Between Franks' toes?) and guards the happy couple most ineffectively. The CIA definitely didn't look good in DAF. At least in GF one can argue they aided effectively in stopping the bomb. I don't even think the helicopter attack demonstrated the CIA as required assistance to Bond. It caused some turmoil but I'm pretty confident Bond could have found the inappropriately disguised hole in the floor anyway...
<b>When you disapprove of Bond's attitude</b>
Silly as it may seem, the elephant kid in TMWTGG forces Bond into a painful moment, for two reasons in fact. First of all, there's the obvious fact of making a promise to a poor kid and not keeping it. Secondly, how come 007 can't figure out the ostensibly simple mechanics of the boat engine? He's supposed to be a naval commander yet he can't find the magic switch on this ordinary boat? I know, I know, I should really be blaming the screenwriters but hey, this is how the game is played in this thread. ;;)
So what are your choices?
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Comments
Francisco Scaramanga...
After his horrific and touching tale about the circus elephant, and the trainer that beat him and eventually killed the poor animal, I smiled knowing Francisco killed the man.... his job may be less conventional - as he is a professional hitman.. he seems to have a certain level of dignity about him.. especially giving Bond the chance to leave, by telling him he had no quarrel with him, and by also not killing Bond when it could be the easiest, rather wanting to dispatch of his adversary 1 on 1 in a competition atmosphere
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with
Stacey Sutton... maybe if she would keep her mouth shut, then she would be tolerable - as she is easy on the eyes... but her constant whining, and yelling for help over the littlest things would start to get on my nerves.... not to mention, how clueless do you have to be to snuck up on by a blimp?
Useless ally
Chuck Lee - just another sacrificial lamb from the CIA... except this man doesn't tell us the audience, or Bond anything that we didn't already know - or could've found out without his help.... all he really boils down to is introducing Bond to fisherman, and then getting killed in his car, because he was too dumb to not check his backseat - plus he listens to annoying 'house' music way too damn loud.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude
I got really nothing better than Darth's above - so probably when he shoves the little kid of the boat in TMWTGG.
Franz Sanchez. Say what you will about his brutality, but the man rewards loyalty. Sadistic one minute and charming the next. If you love dark humor, Franz is the man. If I was to go on the side of evil, I'd be sending Franz a resume.
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with
I wouldn't **** May Day with *********'s reproductive organs and ****** psuhing, even if it meant eternal world peace.
Useless ally
Seriously, what was the point of having Leiter in TLD? Saunders was a more than capable ally, This was the worst possible way to bring back Felix Leiter.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude
Pushing the elephant kid off of the boat wasn't very nice, but I think Bond's method of breaking Solitaire's cherry was even less chivalrous.
@Kerim Sanchez' loyalty is something I've also appreciated ever since I first got to know the man. However, he is terribly brutal and ultimately he's a drug lord. His white gold tares families apart and creates misery and poverty everywhere. That's what would stop me from being a part of his organisation. That said, the money seems good... ;;)
There are a few that I respect, but like @haserot, Scaramanga is one I respect. His story instantly makes him likable, he even respects and admires Bond! He isn't the one who made a threat to Bond, all he wants is to keep doing his job, which really isn't that bad compared to other villains. Sanchez is one I respect to an extent, but selling drugs has far worse repercussions than killing a few jealous husbands, and rich dirty politicians.
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with
A tough call. There are plenty of useless girls, dumb ones, and ugly ones. Taking out the stupidity out of the question, as well, spending time with good looking bimbo isn't necessarily that bad, the worse would be the ugly and annoying ones. Rosie certainly fits the bill, she really isn't my cup of tea where looks are concerned, but I'll go with Ruby. Dog ugly, terribly dressed, horrendous haircut (she's got the 55+ year old perm!) Terrible glasses, annoying voice, she's one I'd keep away with a 20 meter flagpole.
Useless ally
Getting the nod here was an obvious call, Jinx is the most useless ally ever. She isn't just useless, she flat out hinders Bond's progress the entire time. She's supposed to be a top level field op, yet she is utterly incapable of anything other than being captured.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude
An interesting question indeed. So many ways to interpret. I've taken out the bad writing out of the equation for all previous questions, I'll keep at it now. Some obvious choices are his superior attitude with Quarrel, his slapping of Tania on the Orient Express, and of Andrea Anders in TMWTGG, but these were more signs of the time. They wouldn't happen anymore. I'll also take those out. The elephant kid thing was funny, he taught this kid a lesson.
I've considered many things, but one that really bugs me is his complete lack of care for his mission at hand in OHMSS and going after all the girls. I understand wanting some pie, but seriously he's in a very important mission and rather than think of ways to carry on, goes on spending all his time chasing the ugliest skirts up there. The whole villainess chase usually makes some sense, but this time, it really doesn't.
Scaramanga. That kind of character (with that backstory) would be the hero in another film.
Bond Girl I wouldn't want to spend a minute with
I have to say Kara. I know through following the bond girl tournament that she has many fans but she seemed like a drip to me.
Useless Ally
Could I include Small-fawcett from Never Say Never Again? He's good for a chuckle but that's all he's good for.
When I disapprove of Bond's attitude
This has to be Bond's treatment of Quarrel on Crab Quay. Get your own bloody shoes sunshine.
It's definitely a tricky question, since I don't want to justify what ANY of the villains do...
But if I had to pick a favorite, I'd say Sanchez. Mostly due to his loyalty to the people who work for him. Lots of villains (mainly Blofeld) kill their henchmen for failure- or even if they EXPECT any foul play. Makes me wonder how most of these organizations get their manpower.....
'Now hiring: hitman/ driver/ personal assistant. Signing below states that you understand you may/will be killed if your work is not up to SPECTRE standards. Healthplan options available, but does not cover injuries sustained by your employer in anger. '
If I were going to work for an evil organization, I'd work for Sanchez in a minute! He's like the boss you can be friends with, lol
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with
May Day. I don't know how Dolph Lundgren did it! Even Roger Moore couldn't stand her (behind the scenes). And the wacky hair/ makeup/ outfits? She was the Lady Gaga of her time
Useless ally
I'm tempted to say Jinx immediately, but when I think about it, she did take care of Miranda so OO7 didn't have to (probably saved Brosnan from making out with a corpse for the third time in a row, lol)
I'd probably go with JW Pepper
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude
I'm actually surprised nobody mentioned it yet: the scene in TSWLM when Bond and XXX are in the van escaping from Jaws, Bond was acting like he was playing a damn game!! I wanted to slap him around and tell him to get his game face on! 'Hey!! If Jaws gets his hands on you, HE WILL KILL YOU. Do you not get that?'
He just had a smart ass comment for every move XXX made- 'can you play any other tune?' 'women drivers...' 'Let's try reverse-- that's backwards.' BAM, backhand from Anya! Let's try STFU, Moore!
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with - May Day - Just not attractive one bit and that bedroom scene...yuk!
Useless ally - Luigi Ferrara - And forgettable. Did he even do anything in For Your Eyes Only?
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude - I don't. I love Bond for being who he is.
And...
Useless henchman - Hans. Just like Ferrara he doesn't even register in the film until you see him. So generic too. I think, the most forgettable character in the whole series.
Scaramanga; see above
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with –
Plenty O’ Toole; she is soooo annoying! Money grabbing little wench.
Useless ally –
Lt Hip; not telling Bond that he is a detective from the Hong Kong police force, thus having Bond to try an initiate an escape, and leaving Bond to fight his way out of the Kung Fu school, makes him the one of the mot inept characters every to appear in a James Bond film.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude –
not so much of Bond’s attitude, more like it was out of character: breaking into M’s flat, in Casino Royale; Fleming’s 007 never would have been so disrespectful.
Tracy. Bland and overly dramatic. That's it luv, you go and drown yourself, while I find another bird to spend time with.
- Useless ally:
Fields. She is capable of tripping people up on stairs, but that's about it.
- When you disapprove of Bond's attitude:
Sleeping with May Day. I would rather have talked my way out of being out of bounds, than do do..... that. *shudders*
And Fields is useless indeed. One wonders how come the screenwriters or the editor or the producers didn't realise that when they saw the final cut. Definitely annoys me.
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with - I was thinking Tiffany, but you know what? That air-head Lupe Lamora gets my vote.
Sultry beauty my arse. She's a gold-digging waste of space. If they made the film today she would sit staring at facebook on her phone all day. Bleeeuk.
Useless ally - Felix Leiter as played by Rik Van (The) Nutter. Hangs around in dark shades looking exactly like what he was, a CIA agent. Exclaiming 'HELLO DOUBLE 0..UMPH' before getting a well deserved thump in the stomach. A liability.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude - I usually punch the air and shout 'Go James' when he plays dirty especially Sir Rog, HOWEVER I thought he went from loveable cad to sneaky perv when he stacked the cards to bed Solitaire. He put her in desperate peril just for a quickie? A bit...sour.
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with: Tiffany Case. Entirely fails to interest me in any way. The random wig-changes are inexplicable, the streetwise talk irritating, and she only gets more annoying as the film progresses.
Useless ally: Sadruddin. Does almost nothing, then sends Vijay to help with the dirty work.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude: His incredibly sexist first meeting with Holly Goodhead.
Sanchez.... He's a bad cat, but all he really wants to do is get rich off of providing an in-demand product; stay on his good side and you'll be fine. A paranoid, brutal SOB sure; but you've got to love the respect for loyalty.
Bond girl you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with
May Day.... She's loud, weird, sadistic; not to mention hideously ugly, looks like a man.
Useless ally
Ferrara.... Outside of introducing Bond to Kristatos he really didn't do anything. But he was a charming little man anyhow.
When you disapprove of Bond's attitude
TND.... Not minutes after Paris' death, Bond is driving around laughing as he exterminates the bad guys. Not sure that's the right attitdue there Piercy.
One Bond girl I couldn't stand right off the bat would be Jiacinta Johnson, fair enough Halle Berry is an atractive woman, but in this film I couldn't get past the fact she appeared boring, unappealing, annoying and dare I say it, ugly, I do feel I would be wanting to punch someone if I was left alone with her for too long, only slighty more appealing than the god awful Madonna theme intro
Useless Bond allies?, I would say Joe Don Baker, but he was actually a bond nemesis in his first appearance, as CIA operative Jack Wade in TND and Goldeneye I just got tired of the character, a sort of belligerent JW Pepper clone, with tasteless shirts and banal ramblings, he didn't appear much in the two Brosnan features anyway
Bond attitudes?, well we had six different Bonds of all shapes and sizes, each actor brought something different to the screen, some have mentioned the way Moore took advantage of Solitaire and you can't argue that, also while we're at it, Moore on occasion in the face of immediate danger, just puts on a deadpan appearance and a rasied eyebrow even when his life's in danger, I guess Moore realized ahead of time that James Bond is a safe banana and just can't die
Probably other areas we could explore but I'll leave it there
Girl I most dislike: Christmas Jones -good to look at but just annoying.
Useless Ally: Mary Goodnight. cute but a real bimbo
Bond Bad Attitude: Pierce Brosnan in DAD. Things he says, things he does. Just creepy.