The Bond Movies & Actors I Can't Stand (Negativity Only Please)

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  • Posts: 1,146
    RE: MR- Bond in space deserved a better story.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    David prowse should have been the villain. Not swearing!
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,135
    RE: MR- Bond in space deserved a better story.

    You've contridicted yourself there somewhat @doubleohdad You harp on about realism, and Fleming. Yet Fleming's Bond was neither qualified or trained for space flight.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    There is a really great story about a nutcase wanting to launch a nuke into the heart of London...shame they didn't think of it
  • Posts: 1,146
    Benny wrote: »
    RE: MR- Bond in space deserved a better story.

    You've contridicted yourself there somewhat @doubleohdad You harp on about realism, and Fleming. Yet Fleming's Bond was neither qualified or trained for space flight.

    You bring up a good point, but in the context of the presented scenario of the film entitled Moonraker, I think it would have been cool to present Bond out of his element. I would also state that the story deserved more than the less than impressive fight on the gondola. TOday you could tie two bungies onto stuntmen and have them go at it in a total wide shot, and it would be awesome to see Bond presented in a familiar way doing something he's done before, like how the opening of SF just blows the top of the train stuff on OP out of the water simply because its presented in a new, daring way.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,146
    Check out this clip from MR. The FIRST COMMENT below compares the film to Austin Powers:




    Damn, the comments don't show. Well, it's apparently not as funny as Austin Powers.
    How is that a good thing?
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Ok, here is my list, in no particular order. Since this is a hater's thread I shan't be available for debate or discussion. My mind is quite made up.

    Talisa Soto - Lupe airhead
    Lynn Holly Johnson - Bibbi airhead
    Gloria Hendry - Rosie airhead
    Teri Hatcher - Paris Carver
    Halle Berry - Miss 'Oscar' Jinx
    Denise Richards- Christmas 'Physicist' Jones
    Pierce Brosnan's acting performance in TWINE
    Sean Connery's obvious nonchalance towards the role that made him in DAF
    Roger Moore's inability to hide his age with makeup any more in AVTAK
    Timothy Dalton's hair in LTK (get a comb for god's sake)
    Daniel Craig's hair in SF (why not shave it bald)
    Jaws turning good in MR
    Anatole Taubman - Elvis
    Lawrence Makoare - Mr. Kil
    Goldie - Bullion (where did they find this clown)
    Robert Carlyle - Renard (boring....boring)
    Samantha Bond - feminista MP
    The idiot who did the fight and action scene edits in QoS
    Michael Apted
    Lee Tamahori
    Judi Dench - M (a national treasure I know - but disliked her from the first scene in GE)
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited January 2015 Posts: 17,798
    Bond females I hate:
    Samantha Bond
    Lynn Holly Johnson
    Gloria Hendry

    And, uh, that's it I guess.
    Halle gets a free pass because I like her Storm.
  • Posts: 1,987

    Least convincing Bond - RM.
    The most phoned in Bond performance - SC in DAF.
    Most wooden Felix performance among the many - Rik Van Nutter in TB.
    Worst name for an actor playing Felix Leiter - Rik Van Nutter .
    Weakest Bond girl performance among the dozens - Gloria Hendry as Rosie in LALD.
    Dumbest looking Blofeld - Donald Pleasance in YOLT.
    Dumbest scene featuring Blofeld -- FYEO.
    Worst thing about DAD -- That it was made.
    The worst moment in a Bond film - RM Tarzan yell.
    The biggest technical problem with the early Bond films - Sped up action.
    Worst title song including NSNA - NSNA.
    Worst title song excluding NSNA - QoS.









  • Posts: 107
    Barbara Broccoli has a very pompous, condescending tone in Everything Or Nothing.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    The title song to QOS makes me nearly physically ill. All Time High merely sucks by comparison.
  • Posts: 1,987
    All Time High merely sucks by comparison

    As sung in the film All Time High the song could be re-titled High All the Time. However, City of Prague does an absolutely beautiful instrumental of this song.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    edited January 2015 Posts: 1,138
    Getafix wrote: »

    I've heard people criticise Bond for being incompetent in GF so many times but apparently getting M killed counts as a triumph. In any remotely 'realistic' scenario Bond would be court martialled and probably imprisoned for what he does in the final act of SF. It's just such narrative garbage.

    In any remotely realistic scenario Bond would have been court martialed for blowing up an embassy unauthorized (in FRWL the consulate bombing was at least approved) in CR. They discuss it for 2 minutes then never mention it again.

    Maybe things are a little more laid back in the UK, but if one of the heads of the alphabet soup US intelligence agencies were killed by terrorists in a remote corner of the US because one of their subordinates essentially kidnapped them (and a congressman and other agency employees helped[!]) and took them there alone heads would roll. It certainly wouldn't be "alright, ready to get back to work?"
    Most wooden Felix performance among the many - Rik Van Nutter in TB.

    Agree very much. TB is one of my absolute favorites, but has either the worst or second worst Leiter (the clown in TLD). Every one of his lines sounds like it's read directly from the script. "You're right James, we haven't." and "On you, everything looks good." are among the worst. I wonder which producer he was related to?

  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Mi6 wanted m dead. It was a coup, with Ralph fiennes waiting in the wings
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    The last two minutes of SF were pretty good.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    How is that negative for this thread, @chrisisall? Man up. ;)

    Stacey Sutton is the worst Bond girl of all - a bleating, whining, jerk of a character played by a bleating, whining, backstabbing, and jerk of an actress. I'll even take Jinx over Stacey, and that is saying something.

  • Posts: 1,068
    chrisisall wrote: »
    The last two minutes of SF were pretty good.

    The credits rolling to end the pain?
    Mi6 wanted m dead. It was a coup, with Ralph fiennes waiting in the wings

    Suddenly it all starts to make sense...
    Sark wrote: »
    Maybe things are a little more laid back in the UK, but if one of the heads of the alphabet soup US intelligence agencies were killed by terrorists in a remote corner of the US because one of their subordinates essentially kidnapped them (and a congressman and other agency employees helped[!]) and took them there alone heads would roll. It certainly wouldn't be "alright, ready to get back to work?"

    Exactly - Bond really lost the plot in SF!!
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    How is that negative for this thread, @chrisisall? Man up.
    That's saying the rest of the film isn't.
    That's ME manning.
    :))
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    I was hoping she'd get killed almost the minute she was introduced. Sir Godfrey Tibbett deserved to live much more than she did.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    chrisisall wrote: »
    How is that negative for this thread, @chrisisall? Man up.
    That's saying the rest of the film isn't.
    That's ME manning.
    :))
    Far too subtle, dear.

  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited January 2015 Posts: 12,480
    I am forced now by circumstances to go eat the best pizza in the world for lunch and shall have to leave you to it, including @chrisisall; I mean, @hardtobenegativeisall.

    My final negative thought this morning is:

    License to Kill (or Licence to Kill; whatever!) was a bad rehash of Miami Vice and even a revenge filled Dalton cannot overcome the tackiness of the production values nor the insipid uninspiring drug cartel lord story. Yawn.
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,135
    Diamonds Are Forever, The Man With The Golden Gun, Moonraker and Quantum Of Solace really test my love of all things Bondian.
    Goldeneye is possibly the most over rated pile of dung in the series.
    Over the top smugness, with a story that's not feasible. Had there not been a six year gap then GE would not have been so popular. It's an everyman Bond film with the general public helping it succeed at the box office. The finale in Cuba is a joke of MR space station proportions.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited January 2015 Posts: 17,798
    Far too subtle, dear.
    Macaulay Culkin could have done it better. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it half as good as him, boy, Bond failed the test.
  • mcdonbbmcdonbb deep in the Heart of Texas
    Posts: 4,116
    bondjames wrote: »
    Ok, here is my list, in no particular order. Since thi a hater's thread I shan't be available for debate or discussion. My mind is quite made up.

    Talisa Soto - Lupe airhead
    Lynn Holly Johnson - Bibbi airhead
    Gloria Hendry - Rosie airhead
    Teri Hatcher - Paris Carver
    Halle Berry - Miss 'Oscar' Jinx
    Denise Richards- Christmas 'Physicist' Jones
    Pierce Brosnan's acting performance in TWINE
    Sean Connery's obvious nonchalance towards the role that made him in DAF
    Roger Moore's inability to hide his age with makeup any more in AVTAK
    Timothy Dalton's hair in LTK (get a comb for god's sake)
    Daniel Craig's hair in SF (why not shave it bald)
    Jaws turning good in MR
    Anatole Taubman - Elvis
    Lawrence Makoare - Mr. Kil
    Goldie - Bullion (where did they find this clown)
    Robert Carlyle - Renard (boring....boring)
    Samantha Bond - feminista MP
    The idiot who did the fight and action scene edits in QoS
    Michael Apted
    Lee Tamahori
    Judi Dench - M (a national treasure I know - but disliked her from the first scene in GE)

    Excellent list... Expected or I should say wanted more from Apted.

    Renard also deserved better writing..

    And um what about Stacy Sutton??

    Oh oh and what's up with Drax's fake piano playing???!!!! Toss up in that film among Jaw's redemption, the gondola, and off mention pigeon double take as to what I hate more.

    (Still watch and remember fondly watching with my dad so umm I can't hate it. Loved it then at age 11 lol.)
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    I hated the robot in AVTAK. And Stacey was like 50 years younger than Moore.
  • Posts: 1,146
    My final negative thought this morning is:

    License to Kill (or Licence to Kill; whatever!) was a bad rehash of Miami Vice and even a revenge filled Dalton cannot overcome the tackiness of the production values nor the insipid uninspiring drug cartel lord story. Yawn.

    I agree with a great deal of this, but like it a little more than you did. Good villain, a story that has twists and turns in the middle, and less of the silliness.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    chrisisall wrote: »
    I hated the robot in AVTAK. And Stacey lwas like 50 years younger than Moore.
    She was 29 at the time of filming. Getting creepy for sure.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    I agree with a great deal of this, but like it a little more than you did. Good villain, a story that has twists and turns in the middle, and less of the silliness.
    LTK SUCKED.
    Q and his X-ray Poleroid? Pam shagging Bond in the boat because of what? A pretty sunset? A Kamen Die-Hard score? A Dalton Dracula doo for a disguise? Coke can be hidden in gasoline? Krest does an "Outland" death? And where are Crockett & Tubbs in all this???
    *meh-ness*

  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Three decades difference;) wasn't right, at all
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    mcdonbb wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    Ok, here is my list, in no particular order. Since thi a hater's thread I shan't be available for debate or discussion. My mind is quite made up.

    Talisa Soto - Lupe airhead
    Lynn Holly Johnson - Bibbi airhead
    Gloria Hendry - Rosie airhead
    Teri Hatcher - Paris Carver
    Halle Berry - Miss 'Oscar' Jinx
    Denise Richards- Christmas 'Physicist' Jones
    Pierce Brosnan's acting performance in TWINE
    Sean Connery's obvious nonchalance towards the role that made him in DAF
    Roger Moore's inability to hide his age with makeup any more in AVTAK
    Timothy Dalton's hair in LTK (get a comb for god's sake)
    Daniel Craig's hair in SF (why not shave it bald)
    Jaws turning good in MR
    Anatole Taubman - Elvis
    Lawrence Makoare - Mr. Kil
    Goldie - Bullion (where did they find this clown)
    Robert Carlyle - Renard (boring....boring)
    Samantha Bond - feminista MP
    The idiot who did the fight and action scene edits in QoS
    Michael Apted
    Lee Tamahori
    Judi Dench - M (a national treasure I know - but disliked her from the first scene in GE)

    Excellent list... Expected or I should say wanted more from Apted.

    Renard also deserved better writing..

    And um what about Stacy Sutton??

    Oh oh and what's up with Drax's fake piano playing???!!!! Toss up in that film among Jaw's redemption, the gondola, and off mention pigeon double take as to what I hate more.

    (Still watch and remember fondly watching with my dad so umm I can't hate it. Loved it then at age 11 lol.)

    Thanks.

    You're absolutely right, Tanya's Stacy from AVTAK & Toby Stephens Graves from DAD should get an honourable mention on my list.

    I saw MR recently on Blu - I actually love the fake piano bit because it really plays into Drax's egotistical character.....totally agreed about the Gondola/pigeon though. I just can't stand watching that whole sequence even though MR overall is a guilty pleasure.

    Naomi's MP also came to mind based purely on SF, but I'll reserve further judgement until SP. She may redeem herself in my eyes yet.
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