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What thoughts were running through each Bond actor's head during each EON production?
chrisisall
Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
DN- This all sheems so foolish, but maybe they're on to shomething here.
FRWL- Yes, this is going very well... I'll be produshing shoon!
GF- This is becoming quite the franchise... they must make me a partner any time now.
TB- Bashtards. I'll be a partner or thish is my last one, dammit.
YOLT- I'm not paid enough for this nonshense.
OHMSS- Hmmm... the blond, or the brunette tonight-?
DAF- Filming's almost done today, Lana awaitsh.
LALD- I do live a charmed life...
TMWTGG- Chris is so much fun to act opposite!
TSWLM- If Ringo could get her to shut up this would be a much more pleasant experience...
MR- This all seems rather far fetched, but we'll see what comes of it.
FYEO- This new chap Glen is rather a less fun fellow than the others.
OP- I'm hot, wet and uncomfortable. Acting used to be more fun. Ahhh, back indoors at last.
AVTAK- I shall be sad not to do this again.
TLD- I must understand Bond, must feel his angst. He's a killer, but one who can be affected by the needs of an innocent girl in trouble. I must focus on a juxtaposing of his innate savage nature with his singular sense of right & wrong, (etc.)
LTK- I won't let Glen annoy me, I won't let Glen annoy me, (etc.)
GE- HOLY SHIT I'M BOND!
TLD- Let's see how dark we can make this...
TWINE- Ahh, the dark Bond at last! Here we peel back the layers...
DAD- I'll just relax & do my best...
CR- More caffeine, I need more caffeine... more push-ups...
QOS- I bloody can't believe we have to write this shite too. Bloody f**king Hell.
SF- Yes... this will be the one.
Let's hear YOUR ideas! >:D<
FRWL- Yes, this is going very well... I'll be produshing shoon!
GF- This is becoming quite the franchise... they must make me a partner any time now.
TB- Bashtards. I'll be a partner or thish is my last one, dammit.
YOLT- I'm not paid enough for this nonshense.
OHMSS- Hmmm... the blond, or the brunette tonight-?
DAF- Filming's almost done today, Lana awaitsh.
LALD- I do live a charmed life...
TMWTGG- Chris is so much fun to act opposite!
TSWLM- If Ringo could get her to shut up this would be a much more pleasant experience...
MR- This all seems rather far fetched, but we'll see what comes of it.
FYEO- This new chap Glen is rather a less fun fellow than the others.
OP- I'm hot, wet and uncomfortable. Acting used to be more fun. Ahhh, back indoors at last.
AVTAK- I shall be sad not to do this again.
TLD- I must understand Bond, must feel his angst. He's a killer, but one who can be affected by the needs of an innocent girl in trouble. I must focus on a juxtaposing of his innate savage nature with his singular sense of right & wrong, (etc.)
LTK- I won't let Glen annoy me, I won't let Glen annoy me, (etc.)
GE- HOLY SHIT I'M BOND!
TLD- Let's see how dark we can make this...
TWINE- Ahh, the dark Bond at last! Here we peel back the layers...
DAD- I'll just relax & do my best...
CR- More caffeine, I need more caffeine... more push-ups...
QOS- I bloody can't believe we have to write this shite too. Bloody f**king Hell.
SF- Yes... this will be the one.
Let's hear YOUR ideas! >:D<
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Comments
FRWL - Terrance really knows what he is doing.
GF - I am set up for life.
TB - This could be the biggest box office hit of all time.
YOLT - This film is as realistic as my hair piece, though Ken Adam is a genius.
OHMSS - I have made it, time for bigger and better things...doh!
DAF - Considering personal projects.
LALD - I'm James Bond.
TMWTGG - Not overly keen on the violence.
TSWLM - Cubby sure knows how to cook.
MR - James Bond in space ha ha.
FYEO - I'll give it another go.
OP - Me and Maud work well together.
AVTAK - Its me Roger Moore, don't you recognise me?
TLD - Think I'll take this seriously.
LTK - Maybe this film is slightly ahead of its time.
GE - The names Steele, Remington Steele.
TND - Who is General Chang?
TWINE - This could be my Goldfinger.
DAD - Oh dear!
CR - I'll prove the doubters wrong.
QoS - Did not expect to be on script writing duty.
SF - I'll play Bond differently now, Mendez may bag me a Oscar nod.
:))
My reaction would have been very similar to Sean's during that beach scene... God dam!
:x
Well done. :))
FRWL- Yeshhh, thisshh ishh better than the firshht one. I'm really enjoying thishh Bond lark.
GF-Wait whereshh Terence. Shhtill it doeshh have Fort Knox...oh and Pusshhy.
TB-Yeshh Terence ishh back. Lucky I like watersportshh..Soo how many of thishh are you going to make?
YOLT-Sod off. I don't care. Yeshh amazing shets. Wonderful. Marvelloushh. Let'shh wrap thissh up. I'm done.
OHMSS-You picked me. Strewth. So I'm Sean Connery now. Who's she...and her..my god there's loads of them. Yeah yeah yeah....
DAF- I'm back! Yeshhh, Blofeld...yeshh Las Vegas...yeshh gagshh...Now whereshh my money?
LALD-I'm quite confident I can do this. Maybe lighten it up a bit. Through a few more "darling's" into my dialogue.
TMWTGG- Aggressive...tougher...Chris Lee...but Guy said I was going to be a lighter Bond.
TSWLM-Connery never did it this good. Nobody does this better. Other than my stuntmen. Cubby, you are a helpful chap.
MR-Does anyone else get a sense of deja-vu. Cubby when did James Bond become Star Wars...where's my gun for goodness sake. And what's with this travel schedule?
FYEO-This Geln fellow is a breath of fresh air. Hopefully they keep him around. Not sure about all the seriousness they want from me this time though. Not sure people will want that from old Rog
OP- Germany and India...in a tux. Well I'm sure that'll be fun. And what's with that Connery comeback movie I've been hearing about. Well we better not clown around too much then. Ahhhh.
AVTAK-So from where I'm sitting, I'll only be required for half the movie. Close ups only and then some loop work. Better practice my ooooo's and ahhhhh's.
TLD- Right you b@$t*rds I'm James Bond. No time for jokes and laughs now.
LTK-Right you b@$t*rds I'm James Bond. And this time I'm really serious. No time for jokes and laughs now. Let's make this gritty and real. I want to see blood this time. Rough it up.
GE- Witty lines, gadgets, some bad guys. I can use that pained face expression I've been working on....certainly not another straight to video movie for me. Did I tell you about me seeing Goldfinger when I was a kid.
TND-Witty lines....wait the script. Ohhh okay you're working on it. But I do get to do that pained face look in this one.
TWINE- This is my gig. They love me. Villians, action, pained face, girls...scientist...Denise Richards...but they love ME. I'll do that face they like. Maybe straighten my tie...UNDERWATER. Yes!
DAD-So we're not really going on location this time. What's with all the green...and CGI me. Tell me I get to do...yes, the face.
CR- They hate me. I'll show them. I can do this. Meet the new Bond.
QOS- They love me. Let's give them very mediocre. We'll work it out as we go. No I think miserable Bond will work fine. People want gloomy and depressing.
SF-If we give them several set pieces that hardly gel together with a story that couldn't possibly work, but include a decent villain and lots of Union Jacks flying around and yes...we kill M. That should work. Let's not get too gloomy this time though.
2) FRWL - This is the best job in the world.
3) GF - Look what I learned from Hitchcock.
4) TB - This is starting to become tiresome.
5) YOLT - I'm done with this s***
6) OHMSS - Perhaps I bit off more than I can chew.
7) DAF - Thanks for the money a**holes!
8) LALD - If this is going to work then I have to do it my way.
9) TMWTGG - Really? The Sheriff again?
10) TSWLM - Perfection. The stars have aligned.
11) MR - I'm not taking this seriously.
12) FYEO - I'm taking this seriously.
13) OP - I'm bringing my A game to beat McClory. Not bad for an old guy, huh?
14) AVTAK - I'm not enjoying this anymore.
15) TLD - Just wait until they get a load of me.
16) LTK - This could be the last Bond film, sadly.
17) GE - I hope no one notices how nervous I am.
18) TND - I feel much more comfortable now.
19) TWINE - I'm really going for it this time.
20) DAD - This is kind of s*** but I'm sure my next one will be better.
21) CR - F*** You.
22) QoS - I guess I'm going to have to carry this team on my back.
23) SF - I can't believe the level of talent I'm working with. This is going to be good.
CR67-This film sucks, but the drugs are GREAT!
Connery is mean and untrusting (well, that may be real tbh)
Lazenby a chancer (real).
Moore a frustrated dramatic actor
Dalton the flip side of Moore
Brosnan the world's stupidest person
Craig a closet cross dresser...
Enjoy.
Dear Diary.....
Dr No - Day 1. Just been fitted for my DJ. Did a scene in a casino where I light a cigarette. Took three takes. First take lighter didn't work, second take lighter worked but I set my wig on fire. Minor set back as film studio had to be evacuated.
I'm seriously never going to get the hang of this.
From Russia With Love - Day 1. Good to be back on the Bond set even if Harry keeps winding me up. Doing a scene with my leading lady in bed, but spent the whole morning wondering if my towel would fall down. If it does I have a pair of tartan pants on (and a haggis stuffed down the front of them). That’ll show Harry a thing or two!!
Goldfinger - Day 1. Had a read through for new Bond film with cast. The guy playing Goldfinger can't speak English. Complained to Harry, who said 'Neither can you Sean'. Cheeky bastard.
Thunderball - Day 1. Getting a bit fed up with this now. Harry and Cubby keep going into corner and talking quietly. Feel left out and artistically impotent. They won't make a fool of me though, I can tell you. Right then, first scene in a small tank with two sharks.
You Only Live Twice. Day 1 - Just landed in Japan, and being accosted by hundreds of foreigners. Hate the country, hate the food. Seriously, if I didn't get to snog so many birds I'd quit.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Day 1 - Can't believe this. Thought I was clever blagging the part of 'second goon from the right, carrying machine gun' and Peter Hunt has told me I'm supposed to be playing Bond! How the f*** did that happen? Not complaining mind. Time to polish my didgeridoo.
Diamonds Are Forever. Day 1 – Hahaha, here I am again and this time robbing bloody Saltzman every which way. Apparently this one is set in Las Vegas, so I suppose a meeting will be set up with Elvis. He is bound to want to meet me after all.
Live And Let Die. Day 1 – Was intending to put on the full 4 hour production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in Hide Park but got way laid with this film. Maybe just the one Bond film, then move on to greater things.
The Man With The Golden Gun. Day 1 – Still working on a director for Hamlet, so agreed a second Bond film to fill my diary for a further 6 months. Something about a bullet and a dwarf.
The Spy Who Loved Me. Day 1 – Was about to commence casting of my pet project – Hamlet in Hide Park, but didn’t realise I had signed a 3 picture contract for Bond. Well, will do this one and move on. Hankering after a new production of Chekov’s The Cherry Orchard which I will co-produce and star in with Benny Hill.
Moonraker. Day 1 – Back on the Bond set despite my initial scepticism and desire to try live theatre. Hamlet is now off, but Chekov is a real possibility. Benny Hill has dropped out, but Russ Abbott is interested.
For now though I’m doing a scene where I knee Jaws in the nuts.
For Your Eyes Only. Day 1 – ‘Cubby’ I said ‘I can’t put my body through this again, what with all this rock climbing and stuff. I will have nothing left to give to my new production of Sheridan’s The Rivals’ ‘Roger’ he said ‘You’re just a film actor, and not a very good one at that!’ Ooooh, how dare he. If it wasn’t for the money I would storm off set now.
Octopussy. Day 1 – I have never been to India so I agreed to one more. Apparently Sean is doing a new Bond as well so I can finally prove to the world that I’m the greater Bond. At the moment only my wife thinks so. And Vijay has got me tickets for Wimbledon in exchange for a part in ‘The Rivals’.
A View To A Kill. Day 1- – John Glen apparently nearly shit himself when I said I would be retiring, so I’m doing one more, for him. Although my stunt double is very busy in this film he refuses to stand in for me on my biggest stunt –climbing in to bed with Grace Jones. No plans to do live theatre now, but may work on my biography of Shakespeare.
The Living Daylights. Day 1- Finally, I can dump the f***ing Shakespeare and earn a bit of dosh. Told Cubby I had read the complete works of Ian Fleming..but I haven’t really (*snort* *chuckle*). I don’t really read books, they are SO BORING. Where’s my cup of tea?
Licence To Kill. Day 1 – Got to start filming and I haven’t read the script yet. Which is fine because I just have to dangle from an aeroplane today. I’ll read the script tonight (BORING!)
GoldenEye. Day 1 – Spent last night vomiting and pooing. If Cubby had seen me I’d be on the first plane back to Ireland. Instead now I’m here on the brink of greatness. I asked what Goldeneye meant and Judi Dench explained that Ian Fleming had a false eye made of gold which is like AMAZING! Everyone else was laughing about it but I definitely want one of those one day – when I go blind or something.
Tomorrow Never Dies. Day 1 – Spent the day filming in Oxford which is like FULL of clever people. I actually went to Cambridge myself. Only to buy a DVD player though.
The World Is Not Enough. Day 1 – Told Barbara that because it’s 1999 we should celebrate the special year and get Prince to do the theme song – maybe a new version of his classic hit Purple Rain. Barbara told me to shut up.
Die Another Day. Day 1 – Judi Dench told me there really was an invisible car and I was like WOW! She let me sit in it, but I couldn’t see the steering wheel. Everyone went for lunch while I looked for it. Can’t wait for my next Bond film.
Casino Royale. Day 1 –Being fitted for my wardrobe today. Had to choose a bathing costume for big scene, but when I did they wouldn’t let me wear it – said it was for Caterina Murino. Darn it. Picked the speedos instead.
Quantum Of Solace. Day 1 – Here we go again. Filming with Judi Dench. She told me a story about how she convinced Pierce Brosnan that there really was an invisible car in Die Another Day. Had me howling. What an eejit.
Skyfall. Day 1 – Back on the Bond set and raring to go. Fitted for costume to film casino scenes. Found a gorgeous little gold number but costume girl said Naomie Harris has baggsied it. Bugger!
\:D/
FRWL- We're mosht definitely onto something here.
GF- I'm going to make so much money.
TB- Saltzman and Broccoli are beginning to pissh me off. Taking all the pie for themselves and only leaving me a little crust.
YOLT- Enough is enough. Take this contract and shove it up your arse.
OHMSS- I'm going to be the biggest movie star of all time. Bond? Ha! Who needs him? George Lazenby is who people will buy a ticket to see.
DAF- I can't believe I'm doing thish again. But all that money and two films of my choosing. I'll show up fat just to pissh off Broccoli and Saltzman.
LALD- I guess I won't be spending the rest of the 40s in TV land after all.
TMWTGG- I wish they'd stop trying to turn me into Sean and let me do what I do best.
TSWLM- That's more like it.
MR- Yes the script is a tad silly but I'm still happy to be here. Besides this'll probably be my last one.
FYEO- One more can't hurt.
OP- Sean's making his own Bond movie and Cubby needs me. Plus instead of James Bond saving the world from Spectre, this time Roger Moore gets to save the audience from James Brolin.
NSNA- F--k you Cubby!
AVTAK- So very tired.
TLD- The jokes are over. Time to get down to business.
LTK- The budget seems a little tight and Glen is getting tiresome but I'll do my best.
GE- YES!!!
TND- So it's not as good as Goldeneye. I'm still James Bond and that's what counts.
TWINE- This is the one. My Goldfinger. My The Spy Who Loved Me. This will be the film that cements me as one of the greats and the Bond movie people will remember me for.
DAD- Uh? An invisible car? Wind-sailing against a green-screen? A super powered electricity suit? It doesn't matter. I'm still James Bond for the foreseeable future and that's what counts. Right?
CR- TIme to steal the show.
QOS- I guess things don't always go according to plan.
SF- Mendes, Bardem, Fiennes, Newman, Deakens. We can't go wrong.
LTK: What in the world did they do to MY hair???
DAF: Where in the world did my hair go?
OHMSS: Hope my hair doesn't end up like that other fella's.
CR: Get over my hair people.
GE: Nailed it.