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Take a seat, have a drink, let's talk! - 013 School bullies: how serious a problem?
DarthDimi
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<center><font color=#E9AB12 size=6><b>001
</b>Are social media doing more damage than good?</font>
</b>Are social media doing more damage than good?</font>
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I’ll be honest, I generally don’t like social media. Funny thing, I know, since what is this forum if not a social medium? However, I feel we’re excercising a level of control here which, although criticised by some, keeps us from going completely bugnuts on each other. In other words, we're fairly civilised here.
But Facebook, Twitter, ..., they just hold too many risks in my opinion. For example, suppose someone catches you in a situation that, while perfectly harmless, could be wrongly interpreted if one is unaware of the context. You're helping your 4 year old daughter, say, in the park behind a few trees with a little sanitary issue and other people, who don't know you, see an older man with an extremely young girl more or less hidden away... you get the picture. So, the one spying on you digs up one of those fancy iPhones, takes a few snapshots and posts them online. By the time you've gotten home, about 12 000 people have seen the pics. Next morning, that number will have been increased tenfold. What are you going to do? Demand retribution? Blog about it? Drag the guy who took the pictures to court? Hopeless case.
The good thing, of course, is that people also forget easily. After a few days, your pics will have dropped several posts down a list no-one really wants to keep scrolling through. Perhaps that's also a bad thing though. We are living our lives in snapshots; what's hot one moment is old news five minutes later. We fail to distinguish between serious stuff and trivial or even silly things that quite frankly do not deserve the energy invested to keep the Internet alive.
I honestly think that most users of these social media nowadays need to be properly educated. Parents need to be taught that maybe their newly born kids in 20 years from now will not be so pleased to see pics and video's of their birth online. iPhoners need to understand that you can't just takes pictures of people in public and post them online. I may come off like a sourpuss but I really hope that one of these days some major lawsuits help to ruin some people's lives, if only to set an example. I'm talking about people who are so enamoured with their own nonsense on Facebook or Twitter that they overlook the damage they do to others. Teenagers who cause other teenagers to commit suicide after cases of cyber-bullying, for example, cannot be punished severely enough.
Why am I so sensitive about this? Not for me, because I refuse to have a Facebook account. People want to talk to me, they can drop me an email, text me, call me, visit me... or contact me on a forum like MI6Community where some things are not tolerated. People who only share stuff like invitations to parties or something via Facebook any more, I do not consider real friends. If they can't even bother to address me personally and merely expect me to read their Facebook posts instead, they're dead to me. An email, even a pre-fabricated one, that starts with "hi Dimi" is good enough, really, because at least there's a personal connection. So anyway, I don't really care, like I said, because I'm not affected by Facebook. But I spend most of my days among pretty vulnerable teens and I can tell you, the things I've seen, the madness, the suffering... just because of what others post on Facebook, they make me wish I had the power to shut that medium down this very instant. Personally, I don't think we're ready to handle this thing properly yet. When I say 'we', I don't wish to generalise of course. I know many folks out there, most if not all of you included, are perfectly capable to handle those media. But what about the 99 % that don't know what they're doing or how much damage they bring to themselves and others? Please don't mistake me for a fascist or whatever, but I truly believe there has to be more control over those things...
And then there is the misuse issue. Facebook has gotten people killed, either by a parent neglecting a child, or cruel teenagers driving their insecure friend to suicide, Facebook has gotten people killed, this cannot be ignored. Do I think Facebook should be taken down because people have died because of it? No. Guns kill more people a year than Facebook, and drunk drivers more than guns, we still have both of those things.
Social media is here to stay, whether people like me use it or not, whether people like it or not. No one is forcing you to use social media, so really, you shouldn't complain much. You're going to, you say? Hold on, lemme pull out my phone so that I can take a picture of you and post it on Instagram.
(Agent007391 would like you all to know that he has no Facebook or Instagram account. He has a Twitter that he does not use, and a MySpace that has, like the website itself, long been abandoned. He will not be taking pictures of you or posting them anywhere.)
One of the aspects of this site I like is the anonymity factor. I like being able to use a nom de plume instead of my real name. Have I posted anything I'm ashamed of? No.
Some things I might not have posted, or edited, but nothing scandalous. Many sites are now requiring a log in with Facebook. The idea being that real names equal civility, but many make up names. I don't want to attack other commenters, but I do want the privacy of being able to express opinions that my employer or my clients might find objectionable. Of course I am also aware that the people who run this site know who I am and where to find me.
We are in the early stages of understanding how technology is going to change life, often for good, other times maybe not. It would interesting to know how many have made the connection between their internet searches and unwanted email. Some internet services providers are now selling privacy to their customers. You automatically give up your privacy by subscribing to an internet service, however, you can buy it back for an additional monthly fee. Or how about that face recognition program that could be used to read your expressions when using the video features on your phone. Your words say one thing, but your facial expressions may be saying something quite different.
I think many people think they've got handle on all this stuff. Personally, I think many, myself included, are clueless.
I have a FB account only because many friends do; I do not post anything on my page and all my info listed on it is false. I certainly do not trust FB for privacy. But this way, I do enjoy photos regularly from my friends around the world. I also have a twitter account and I enjoy that because it is a quick connection, with topics and people I am interested in. But I am careful. I don't know how long I will stay on either.
I read recently a teen tried to kill her mom (with putting bleach in her drinks) because the mom took away her i-Pod. Yes. There is too much craziness in the world - and social media can be truly addictive in unhealthy ways. Not even talking about the hazing, harrassing, and bullying issues - all of which are sadly a force in all social media today.
I don't have answers. I am just cautious, and I wonder what will be the next big thing ... for instant communication, filming, etc.
It's sad to see people take their lives because of social media harrassment. It's very unfortunate and I've seen a lot of what goes on in those affairs. I've seen my share of harassment too. I'm 23 years old and have put up with a lot of bullying in my life. It hurt especially then, but now that I'm older and more mature, It doesn't phase me at all. I have a pretty thick skin and with the internet it's pretty much expected to see some trolling. With the Internet being easily accessible these days, It's pretty hard for anyone to avoid it.
Social Media is clearly not for everbody, and it's certainly not meant for those who aren't mature enough to handle the potential consequences for using it. Though it can attract some nasty people. I think sites like Facebook are pretty tame compared to social media sites like Tumblr or Twitter.
I wish we could filter people, even by age, but that is not possible, not would it help 100% either or be "fair" to the public. Hmmm. I have rarely looked on Tumblr but did not like what I came across.
What I don't understand is that people think others care about what they're doing right now, unless of course it's something really spectacular. But why share with the world that you're studying, taking a dump, doing the dishes...? Why post 200 pics of your pet dogs every day, and then some? Why this constant checking of others' status?
When I took the train to school in 90s, people talked. On the train, waiting for the train, ... people talked. You had the occasional walkman person, but that was more or less it. Now, taking the train to work, no-one talks. I see people stroking their iPhone instead, moving that finger up and down the touch screen as if it's a sexual act. Then the iPhone disappears in the bag, only to be taken out again practically immediately, just to lovingly stroke that screen again. People say social media have made us more social. I'd say quite the opposite really.
When I meet with friends in a bar or a restaurant, I hate the moment when they fish for that phone. It means they're going to play with the phone for a while. They're not being called or texted, they just want to check what others have posted since, what, an hour ago? Just like that! I can talk, of course I can - just talk. Multitasking is the key word here, right? Screw it. I have walked out on people before for that reason. Twice have I stood up and returned home because a friend felt his / her Facebook nonsense was more important than the conversation. Among true friends we have a silent agreement to switch the phone off or to only pick it up in case we're being called and it's important.
Why? Because of the human race's innate desire to know. Social media is, to an extent, the logical extension of asking someone this question: "How are you doing?" This is a common question when you're meeting someone face-to-face, but because of the ongoing rise of technology, because of smartphones and cameras, because of the internet in general, "How are you doing?" has become less and less of a real question, and more and more an almost legal form of stalking. When you put your information out on the internet, you're inviting others into your personal business, much like you do when you answer the question when someone asks you how you're doing. Only, because of social media, even more of your personal business is thrown out there, all because of this presumed separation between yourself, the computer screen, and those on the other side looking at their own computer screens.
It's both, really. We're not social with those beside us, we're social with those on the opposite side of the screen from us, who may very well be those beside us. When I was in high school, in 2004-2008, when texting arose as a social function, it would be nothing for me to look over at two people sitting in desks side by side texting one another when there was no need. They were right beside one another, they were partners on the assignment, we were supposed to talk to our partners. (There's another story I could tell about something like this, but it's got nothing to do with the social media question.) You could, I guess, rationalize that with them not wanting other teams around them to copy them, but nobody in my classes ever seemed to copy anybody unless they were copying off of me, and I usually put the wrong answers when they did that anyway.
An hour ago? They're checking what somebody posted five seconds ago. I give you kudos, though, walking out on people who are too social media minded to actually pay attention to the warm human being in front of them. It's a shame they believe that the separation of thumb and screen and too stupid an act to follow.
But, probably soon, it is people like that who are going to rule the world for a short period of time (at least until the servers are destroyed in an... accidental... nuclear... explosion...). They'll be able to sit in their beds with their tablets, teleconferencing on Skype while updating their Facebook status and leaving a Twitter post about their current project being nearly complete.
Oh, wait... they can do that now.
As someone who has long campaigned against the meteoric rise (can't you just take it slow?) of social media, I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the subject.
Sometimes I just can't help catching glimpses of people's FB wall. I mean, it's not like I want to but some people aren't exactly 'discrete' about it either. Anyway, when I read nonsense like
"I saw a big bird 2day"
and underneath it
"130 likes"
I don't know if I want to facepalm, vomit or have myself voluntarily committed to an insane asylum...
I'm not on FB etc. and don't see why I should be. Like Dimi I think that if people won't bother communicating with me directly (I do have a home address, an e-mail address and a "smart" phone - and the email address and the telephone number have been the same for over a decade, too, so it's not like I'd be unreachable or something) then I won't bother, either - not getting on FB to keep up with people. I usually turn my phone on mute when meeting someone or visiting someone or someone is visiting me. When I'm with people I'm with people, and when someone doesn't do that with me I want to confiscate their phone. Personally I don't think social media makes people more social at all, and the whole thing feels alienating to me.
I do not think negatively of social media but are amazed how much people really want to share with...........everbody???
As with everything it is mankinds talent to take something which is in essence positive and trouble the water immediately with abuse and negativity. Like violence it seems to belong to our blueprint in our DNA.
A world of darkness where those who wander may forever be lost to the pure world, and those who have willingly entered find themselves recruiting once sane people to their attempted conquest of decent humanity.
This is a bit of a generalization, but there is truth in it. And many adults are voicing concern.
I have a cell phone for emergencies. It stays off.
Some people just cannot face reality and stay on Twitter, Facebook, what have you. Although it's great that people from around the world can communicate with each other, often people will take it too far. I really don't need to know that you took a dump or really don't care what you had for lunch. I'm not on Facebook or Twitter, as I feel I admittedly would become obsessed with it and reality isn't going to go away. I'm contact with people I really need to be in touch with. Also, trolling is a problem pretty much everywhere. The less, the better.
I also like what you would call a safe haven, which is right here. Where people all have a common interest and for the most part, you can have an intelligent conversation or just joke around.
I am dismayed to say that several people I know on Facebook take photos of their food, like their lunch when they eat out. No people in the shot, just the food. And then it seems to become a habit. I have no earthly idea why or what is appealing about photographing a plate of food to share with friends ...
Like others, I enjoy the anonymity. No chance a future Brosnan fan boy boss will toss my job application in the bin, after googling "Thunderfinger".
Motor vehicles probably had a similar impact when they first came on the scene. They were the sign of the future, the way forward. Yet a car is a metal box full of combustible liquid that kills hundreds of people daily.
Can't live without 'em, can't live with 'em.
Progress eh?
</b>How do you feel about cameras in public places for our security?</font>