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A Question for New Dads (Or Old Ones)

PDJamesBondPDJamesBond
in General Discussion Posts: 669
Hi everyone,

I apologize for posting a serious, borderline whiny post on a Bond forum, but I just figured I’d ask for some feedback. I wondered if there are any new-ish dads (or seasoned dads, for that matter) on these boards, and your thoughts on fatherhood in general.

The reason I ask is that I’m a first-time father to a 7-month old boy, Henry. He is a good baby, well-behaved, always smiling, sleeps through the night, etc. I have pretty much nothing to complain about. And yet…I was always on the fence about having kids and I STILL don’t know how I feel about it. I love him, and certainly love him more than I did when he was a newborn (it’s getting better that way), but I don’t think I love him as much as I should. He is cute and can be fun to be around, but I don’t ever miss him if I’m not at home. In fact, there are days when find myself not wanting to go home at all.

All of this is probably because I’m selfish and have still not adjusted to this new change in my life, and the lack of freedom it involves. But I have to ask – did anyone else feel this way about their babies? I really thought that by 7 months old, Henry would be the stars and moon and sun to me, but that’s not the case. In fact, if I had to choose what event I am more looking forward to in November – his first birthday or the release of SPECTRE – the release of SPECTRE would win out without a single grain of doubt.

I guess what I’m asking is: Is there something wrong with me? Did anyone else go through this?

Thank you!

Comments

  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited June 2015 Posts: 17,838
    When Henry begins to talk, I think you'll find yourself memorized by his interaction with you. Until then, all Fathers are unique, and the mere fact that you pose the question means to me that you care more deeply than you as of yet are willing to acknowledge. Love, like children, grow with time.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    There's no blueprint for any Dad, we all just do the best we can. ;)
  • patbpatb
    edited June 2015 Posts: 4,617
    One of my best friends (he was my best man at my wedding) has always given me great advice and had kids before me. He told me once that there will be times when you just don't want to be around them and you should not feel guilty for having that feeling and he was right. I have 2 boys and love them very much but that doesnt stop me enjoying and, indeed, looking forward to times when they are not around ( I have 90 mins of such peace right now, heaven). Babies give little feedback, they just eat, poo and sleep and never say thank you, its very tough and can make you very grumpy. Stick with it, it gets much better, you have so much to look forward to and , in the blink of an eye, your kids will have left home.
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    I'm not a father and whilst I quite like children I don't think I could eat a whole one !
    Putting the joke to one side I don't have any kids of my own I have over the years however collected a few godchildren and once they grow up a bit they become so much more interesting
    Most thing in life these days come with a owners handbook Children Don't if you can learn from friends and family and adapt to your own style of being a dad in a while you will settle in to the biggest and most rewarding job of your life I wish you the verry best of luck .
  • PDJamesBondPDJamesBond
    Posts: 669
    Thank you so much for these responses! It means a lot that you've all taken the time to respond, and it helps a great deal.
  • JohnHammond73JohnHammond73 Lancashire, UK
    Posts: 4,151
    Everyone is different but all do the best for their children ni matter what. Believe me, there are more and more testing times to come but, no matter what, you'll always do you'd best....
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