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Worst Lines in All of Bond

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  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    Got to be Lazenby breaking the 4th wall "This never happened to the other fellow"
  • doubleoegodoubleoego #LightWork
    edited October 2015 Posts: 11,139
    The one that not only takes the cake but the whole bloody bakery is Lupe's "I love him"!
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    Posts: 2,138
    doubleoego wrote: »
    The one that not only takes the cake but the whole bloody bakery is Lupe's "I love him"!

    Agreed dam awful painful to watch.
  • shamanimalshamanimal
    Posts: 623
    Although M's poem in Skyfall worked with Bond running down the street, I did cringe a little when she started it. I mean, she's there on trial and her best defence is a poem? I wish they'd have found another way to work that in.
  • w2bondw2bond is indeed a very rare breed
    Posts: 2,252
    Looks like there's lines from all the Bond scribes here.

    Anyway back a few pages, when does Elvis speak swiss to his mother? All I remember about foreign language phone conversations was the taxi driver taking Bond/Fields to the hotels
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,020
    w2bond wrote: »
    Looks like there's lines from all the Bond scribes here.

    Anyway back a few pages, when does Elvis speak swiss to his mother? All I remember about foreign language phone conversations was the taxi driver taking Bond/Fields to the hotels

    After 22:45 you see Elivs on screen close-up talking on the phone saying his infamous lines.
    After 23:00 he's hanging up on her. "Bye Mommy, I'll call you back".
  • w2bondw2bond is indeed a very rare breed
    Posts: 2,252
    Ah I see thanks. He also checks his shoe in the background of one of the shots.
  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    QBranch wrote: »
    A couple of lines in TWINE that aren't 'bad' per say, but the delivery is off:

    "No, a duplicate (pin). With a transmitter inside that set off the barm."

    A lack of consistency in Elektra's tone, where she goes from yelling in Bond's ear with "It is MY oil... MINE!" to a softly-spoken and poetic "It runs in my veins, thicker than blood."

    Unfortunately, the whole of TWINE is riddled with melodramatic acting. I think the acting is worse than the lines, and the lines are no great shakes.

  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    There's also her "Jaaaaammes" when she's reunited with Bond at Drax's base.

    and...

    "But the three (globes) that have gone they'll kill millions"

    She couldn't sound less bothered if she tried.

    Lois Chiles needs a charisma transplant in the worst way.

  • ClarkDevlinClarkDevlin Martinis, Girls and Guns
    edited October 2015 Posts: 15,423
    But, I dare to say she's miles better than Barbara Bach. Overall.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited October 2015 Posts: 23,883
    BondJasonBond006 wrote: »
    w2bond wrote: »
    Looks like there's lines from all the Bond scribes here.

    Anyway back a few pages, when does Elvis speak swiss to his mother? All I remember about foreign language phone conversations was the taxi driver taking Bond/Fields to the hotels

    After 22:45 you see Elivs on screen close-up talking on the phone saying his infamous lines.
    After 23:00 he's hanging up on her. "Bye Mommy, I'll call you back".

    I never understood the purpose of this joker in the film. It's even less clear now. Was he a henchman, or was he a partner of Dominic's? He was embarrassing (cooing over the opera, losing his hairpiece, dying with his pants blown off and now talking to mother) in every way.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited October 2015 Posts: 14,591
    Elvis was Greene's nephew IIRC, and business-wise, no more than his assistant. Greene had to prop him up with the gun later on, so it seems pretty clear he was no henchman.
  • AntiLocqueBrakesAntiLocqueBrakes The edge
    Posts: 538
    SirHilaryBray wrote: »
    Got to be Lazenby breaking the 4th wall "This never happened to the other fellow"

    I've come to love this over time. Self-reverential Bond overtones.

  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,591
    I still reckon Broz breaks the 4th wall when he says, "They'll print anything these days." I'm positive he looks at the camera when he says it.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,351
    I wouldn't say it's the worst but has to be the dumbest thing Bond says to Carver flat out blowing his own cover, asking about his satellite and being able to manipulate governments or people. Then chides in even more with "Perhaps I'll be lost at sea...adrift." Paris's slap to the face must have made him lose his mind for a minute or two.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,978
    @Murdock, that bothers me in the film, as well. Bond also demonstrates that obvious giveaway with the "Fly fishing?" line and gesture when first meeting Zorin in AVTAK.
  • ZekidkZekidk
    Posts: 3,276
    Here's another contender: "Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat and seem to have lost my way"
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,351
    Creasy47 wrote: »
    @Murdock, that bothers me in the film, as well. Bond also demonstrates that obvious giveaway with the "Fly fishing?" line and gesture when first meeting Zorin in AVTAK.

    Now that you mentionally I finally get what that line meant. For years I had no idea what the hell Bond was talking about. Should have said lepidoptera instead. :))
  • DariusDarius UK
    Posts: 354
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Though that may be down to Hatcher's terrible delivery more than the line itself.

    A good point here. I think that many of the lines denigrated here are not bad in themselves, but just suffer from poor delivery and timing. It's like telling a joke -- a good joke, poorly delivered and timed, turns into a bad joke.

    Take, for example, the "They'll print anything these days" line rom TND. If Bond had begun to walk away, suddenly turned and glanced at the bloody printing press, shook his head briefly, tutted and muttered the line as he walks away, it would seem more natural than simply uttering it an instant after the event in a way that is obvious that he has an inventive scriptwriter to write his lines.
  • StrejdaStrejda
    edited October 2015 Posts: 3
    The only explanation I can think of for the lack of Die Another Day lines here is that people here wanna pretend that movie never existed.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    Strejda wrote: »
    The only explanation I can think of for the lack of Die Another Day lines here is that people here wanna pretend that movie never existed.

    If I could make it invisible, like the car, I would...
  • w2bondw2bond is indeed a very rare breed
    Posts: 2,252
    Murdock wrote: »
    I wouldn't say it's the worst but has to be the dumbest thing Bond says to Carver flat out blowing his own cover, asking about his satellite and being able to manipulate governments or people. Then chides in even more with "Perhaps I'll be lost at sea...adrift." Paris's slap to the face must have made him lose his mind for a minute or two.
    @Murdock

    It's a stupid move but it's a Bond thing. He sort of does the same in GF when he turns up at the golf game, and CR when he blows his cover immediately. And as creasy mentioned fly fishing in AVTAK
  • daltondalton
    Posts: 1,631
    Pretty much anything from the TWINE and DAD scripts could qualify. I would say that I think the "I thought Christmas only came once a year" line is the worst line in the entire franchise, though.

    Honorable mention would go to the closing lines of DAD.



  • bigladiesmanbigladiesman
    Posts: 1,009
    Zekidk wrote: »
    Here's another contender: "Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat and seem to have lost my way"

    This is the only Bond one-liner that actually made me go absolutely ROFLMAO for several minutes.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    jobo wrote: »
    The entire script of DAD. I won't bother with giving examples...

    "I'm Mr. Kil."

    "Now there's a name to die for."


    Hilarious!

    =))
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    shamanimal wrote: »
    I can see that, but for me it doesn't quite work. There's another example in the Craig era but I'm damned if I can remember.

    Dalton's 'Exquisite' line to Karla always jarred. All of a sudden he's moved by music?


    ROFL! Yeah! =))
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,369
    A lot of the lines in here make me laugh. For instance even though the Christmas joke was so preplanned and lame I love it and it makes me laugh because of the sheer absurdity.

    The lines that make me cringe are the poorly delivered or strange placement of dialogue.



    Fetch my shoes - DN
    Gatecrasher -OHMSS
    Welcome to hell Blofeld - DAF
    It's entering the earth's atmosphere! - MR
    I love James so much! - LTK
    I think I got the thrust of it - DAD
    Don't talk to me like I'm stupid! - QoS
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,127
    jobo wrote: »
    The entire script of DAD. I won't bother with giving examples...

    Especially what Gustav Graves says. One of the reasons why he's not threatening and ends up just an annoying villain.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    "You're so good. Especially when you're bad"

    Oh Pierce, you deserved better old chap.
  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    ClarkDevlin wrote: »
    But, I dare to say she's miles better than Barbara Bach. Overall.

    They're equally subpar, IMO.

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