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Worst Lines in All of Bond

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  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    Creasy47 wrote: »
    @Murdock, that bothers me in the film, as well. Bond also demonstrates that obvious giveaway with the "Fly fishing?" line and gesture when first meeting Zorin in AVTAK.

    AFAIC, it's Bond's way of smoking the suspected villains out. Baiting them into an unwise and illuminating rebuttal. As such, I have no problem with these sorts of lines at all. Indeed, the hard look Carver give Bond after the "adrift" remark is quite excellent.

  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    Zekidk wrote: »
    Here's another contender: "Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat and seem to have lost my way"

    Not DAF's finest hour.

  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    Strejda wrote: »
    The only explanation I can think of for the lack of Die Another Day lines here is that people here wanna pretend that movie never existed.

    It goes without saying that at least 75% of DAD's lines deserve mention in this here thread.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Thunderball007 wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    The entire script of DAD. I won't bother with giving examples...

    "I'm Mr. Kil."

    "Now there's a name to die for."


    Hilarious!

    =))

    "I don't like cock fights"

    Spoken by M*****a ;)
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2015 Posts: 11,189
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    In that case it shows that both Fleming and his fictional creation are outdated, somewhat stuffy old farts. Lines like that simply wouldn't be accepted these days. If that was his world view then thank god things have moved on...and I'm British.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    Posts: 5,131
    Madonna and Bond in DAD. Poor forced dialogue.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    In that case it shows that both Fleming and his fictional creation are outdated, somewhat stuffy old farts. Lines like that simply wouldn't be accepted these days. If that was his world view then thank god things have moved on...and I'm British.

    I'd like a bit of it from time to time. Captures the essence of Bond, who is far from politically correct.

    There was a bit of that in SF (although it was very veiled) in the MP/Bond interactions if you think about it. Rather bold if I may say so.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    Posts: 5,131
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    In that case it shows that both Fleming and his fictional creation are outdated, somewhat stuffy old farts. Lines like that simply wouldn't be accepted these days. If that was his world view then thank god things have moved on...and I'm British.

    True. But in the 50's it was acceptable. Things have moved on as you say. Unfortunately Jamaica was a better country under our rule though (backwards views aside). Now it is dangerous and gang ridden.
  • LudovicoLudovico
    edited October 2015 Posts: 15,229
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    And I also think "Welcone to Hell Blofeld" is pretty cool.

    One of the very few lines and things I loved about DAF. That line. Then the cat meowing ominously.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2015 Posts: 11,189
    I think certain aspects of "un-PC-ness" are best left a thing of the past. I couldn't care less if Bond never smoked again (though it wouldn't bother me too much if he did on the odd occasion). I'd have more of a problem if Bond hit a woman or said something about black people that was more likely to come from your grandparents generation.

    However, I think a sense of arrogance and...occasional...indulgence should remain. Bond should be a bit arrogant and cocky but not downright unpleasant.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Thunderball007 wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    The entire script of DAD. I won't bother with giving examples...

    "I'm Mr. Kil."

    "Now there's a name to die for."


    Hilarious!

    =))

    "I don't like cock fights"

    Spoken by M*****a ;)

    "You want to continue?" ... "Of course I want to bloody continue!"
    "Oh, look! Parachutes for the both of us. Whoops. Not any more."
    "You see, Mr Bond, you can`t kill my dreams. But my dreams can kill you."
    "I was... just testing it out." ...."It`s rather hard, isn`t it?".... "Yes. Very."

    "Wait. Don`t pull it out.".... "I`m not finished with it yet.".... "See? It`s a perfect fit.".... "Leave it in." ...."Well, it`s gotta come out sooner or later." ...."No, leave it in, please." ....."A few more minutes."
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    Posts: 5,131
    I'll agree with that. He always has to be in touch with the times in which the plot is set.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    "I think he's attempting re-entry sir"
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    edited October 2015 Posts: 5,131
    bondjames wrote: »
    "I think he's attempting re-entry sir"

    What! That's classic Moore era.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    bondjames wrote: »
    "I think he's attempting re-entry sir"

    That works because Q's so unaware of the innuendo.
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,229
    Perilagu_Khan wrote: »
    Strejda wrote: »
    The only explanation I can think of for the lack of Die Another Day lines here is that people here wanna pretend that movie never existed.

    It goes without saying that at least 75% of DAD's lines deserve mention in this here thread.

    But finding THE worst line of DAD, that is a challenge. Double O Zero, the anger management therapist line... But I think it would have to come from Graves. The nadir: "parachute for the both of us. Woops, not anymore." Pronounced by a Bond villain. Shameful.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    "About bloody time, Fidel. Now round up some more girls and take them to room 42.
    Unless you want to be known as Fidel Castrato."
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    bondjames wrote: »
    "About bloody time, Fidel. Now round up some more girls and take them to room 42.
    Unless you want to be known as Fidel Castrato."

    I think that's one of the wittier lines in DAD.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited October 2015 Posts: 23,883
    "Are you here for a reason, or are you just hoping for a glimmer? And you are?"
    "The world's greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I gotta get it back, or someone's gonna have my ass"
    "Dr. Jones. Christmas Jones"
    "Do you wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak spy. Who's she?"

    "Where's M?"....."Soon she'll be everywhere"
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited October 2015 Posts: 11,189
    bondjames wrote: »
    "Are you here for a reason, or are you just hoping for a glimmer? And you are?"
    "The world's greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I gotta get it back, or someone's gonna have my ass"
    "Dr. Jones. Christmas Jones"
    "Do you wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak spy. Who's she?"

    Yep, all those.
  • pachazopachazo Make Your Choice
    edited October 2015 Posts: 7,314
    bondjames wrote: »
    "The world's greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I gotta get it back, or someone's gonna have my ass"
    Oh, how could I have forgotten about that particular gem? Probably because I'd like to forget about it! The line is bad enough by itself but combined with her terrible delivery it becomes a thing of unspeakable horror. If that's the version we ended up with, can you imagine what her worst take was like? :)) At what point did the producers/director start thinking that they made a terrible mistake by casting her?
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    bondjames wrote: »
    "Are you here for a reason, or are you just hoping for a glimmer? And you are?"

    That is probably one of the funniest lines in all of Bondome! It's the way she says it. It's so utterly bizarre! And to think that was presumably the best take they got from her... Oh my :-\"
  • StrejdaStrejda
    Posts: 3
    Best description of DND lines I've read: "The screenplay must’ve been put together by getting six street harassers together in a single room and asking them how they think their parents met."
  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    bondjames wrote: »
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    In that case it shows that both Fleming and his fictional creation are outdated, somewhat stuffy old farts. Lines like that simply wouldn't be accepted these days. If that was his world view then thank god things have moved on...and I'm British.

    I'd like a bit of it from time to time. Captures the essence of Bond, who is far from politically correct.

    There was a bit of that in SF (although it was very veiled) in the MP/Bond interactions if you think about it. Rather bold if I may say so.

    Yep. If you want to be a rebel, you don't get tatts, piercings and espouse the "We Are the World," multi-culti line. You groom yourself neatly, wear white shirts, ties, bespoke suits and fedoras, smoke a pipe and jab your thumb in the eye of the politically correct. Would that today's Bond could do this.

  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    suavejmf wrote: »
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    In that case it shows that both Fleming and his fictional creation are outdated, somewhat stuffy old farts. Lines like that simply wouldn't be accepted these days. If that was his world view then thank god things have moved on...and I'm British.

    True. But in the 50's it was acceptable. Things have moved on as you say. Unfortunately Jamaica was a better country under our rule though (backwards views aside). Now it is dangerous and gang ridden.

    Indeed. One could say this for the vast majority of former colonies.

  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    edited October 2015 Posts: 2,483
    Ludovico wrote: »
    Birdleson wrote: »
    @MooseWithFleas "Fetch my shoes" is a great line. It perfectly encapsulates Bond's world view. That is the Bond of the novels. British superiority, manifest destiny, the white man's burden, etc.
    That is the core of the character, before the films began to dilute him to make him more "likable".

    And I also think "Welcone to Hell Blofeld" is pretty cool.

    One of the very few lines and things I loved about DAF. That line. Then the cat meowing ominously.

    Exactly. DAF's segue from the PTS to the title track is one of the coolest moments in all of Bond.

  • Matt007Matt007
    Posts: 1,314
    C c c Cairo!!
    James how do we get out
    2 examples of appalling sound editing.
  • brinkeguthriebrinkeguthrie Piz Gloria
    Posts: 1,400
    Talisa Soto said something like "James, I loff heem so mooch..." Ergh.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    @perilagu_khan haven't you been here long enough not to multi-post?
    Best description of DND lines I've read: "The screenplay must’ve been put together by getting six street harassers together in a single room and asking them how they think their parents met."

    This really had me rolling, because a lot of those lines sound like something someone who catcalls women would think of.
  • daltondalton
    Posts: 1,631
    I've always maintained that, while the Christmas Jones character was a poor character and the dialogue left much to be desired, I don't lay too much of the blame at Denise Richards' feet.

    Does she give a poor performance? Sure, she absolutely does. What I'll say in her defense, though, is that it at least looks like she's putting forth some kind of effort. The rest of the actors seem like they're sleepwalking through the film. I don't blame them much for that either since they probably realized early on just how bad the material they were working with was.
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