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Worst Lines in All of Bond

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  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited October 2015 Posts: 23,883
    shamanimal wrote: »
    Being bought up in the Moore era, I always thought bad puns were part of it all. I think Brosnan's puns stand out more as clunkers because he hadn't got Moore's playful style of delivery. But they weren't that bad.
    Thunderpussy wrote: »
    Oh, I love puns :D But Sir Roger was the master, he had that little glint in the
    Eye.

    Agreed. The problem for Dalts & Brozz was that Moore set the bar so high for delivering these groaners. These two just couldnt' do it to the same level, and they shouldn't have been asked to.

    Since Moore, the best at this sort of thing have actually been 'in their prime' Arnie (Commando, Running Man, Predator, Total Recall) and Bruce (Die Hard & Die Hard 2) imho, not any Bond actor.
  • mepal1mepal1
    Posts: 1,098
    Birdleson wrote: »
    Last_Rat_Standing wrote: »
    Pretty much anything J.W Pepper utters out in TMWTGG

    Those are some of my favorites.

    ....i second that! :)
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    edited November 2015 Posts: 306
    The World is Not Enough

    Renard's delivery:

    "Take his i.d., and do be on time." :))
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    Thunderball007 wrote: »
    The World is Not Enough

    Renard's delivery:

    "Take his i.d., and do be on time." :))

    Elektra's delivery from the same film:

    "What do you think? I wouldn't feel anything?"

    Horrendous.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    People keep praising Electra/Sophie Marceau but, apart from a few moments, I'm starting to think her performance is quite bad.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited November 2015 Posts: 23,883
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    People keep praising Electra/Sophie Marceau but, apart from a few moments, I'm starting to think her performance is quite bad.

    "What's wrong with you? Are you crazy?"

    I am starting to feel the same way about Marceau @BAIN123. She's still miles better than anyone else in that film, but I think she is overpraised as well.

    "How dare you? That animal. That monster? He disgusts me. You disgust me. So he knew where to hurt you, is that it?"

    Abysmal..
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited November 2015 Posts: 11,189
    *At the pipeline watching the screen"

    "Look at that...that's not right!"

    I don't know whether she's MEANT to be unconvincing as she's obviously playing the hapless victim.

    "How dare you? That animal. That monster? He disgusts me. You disgust me. So he knew where to hurt you, is that it?"
    Regarding THAT confrontation scene in TWINE. The writing itself is pretty appalling. Just try reading that line @bondjames back to yourself normally. It doesn't sound right.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited November 2015 Posts: 23,883
    "Soon she'll be everywhere!" {chuckles}

    It's a corny line but I actually like the way she delivers this one (in a campy OTT way).

    Agree on the writing in the confrontation scene @BAIN123. You know that's a low point in the entire franchise for me for many reasons. Poor writing and piss poor acting all round.
  • Scaramanga12Scaramanga12
    Posts: 562
    I thought Sophie Marceau was easily the best thing in that film.
    I'm sure Brozza must have felt a slight stiffness coming on when she sat on him in the torture chair. Now that would have been a good one liner. 'Are you feeling comfortable Mr Bond?' haha
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,020
    Skyfall: Mommy was very bad.
    Silva has Austin Powers quality in some of his acting and dialogue.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Zenia in GE:

    "I had to ventilate someone".

    What does that even mean??
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    BondJasonBond006 wrote: »
    Skyfall: Mommy was very bad.
    Silva has Austin Powers quality in some of his acting and dialogue.

    Just watched a bit of that scene yesterday and it actually reminded me a lot of the TWINE torture scene for some reason.

    Bardem actually played that scene like Marceau played her Bond torture scene. Totally OTT camp.
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,020
    bondjames wrote: »
    BondJasonBond006 wrote: »
    Skyfall: Mommy was very bad.
    Silva has Austin Powers quality in some of his acting and dialogue.

    Just watched a bit of that scene yesterday and it actually reminded me a lot of the TWINE torture scene for some reason.

    Bardem actually played that scene like Marceau played her Bond torture scene. Totally OTT camp.

    Yes, the word I was looking for, camp.
    While in TWINE that doesn't bother me really, because those movies didn't take themselves too seriously, in SF this is too high a contrast to the near perfect first 70 minutes of the movie.
  • fanbond123fanbond123
    edited November 2015 Posts: 1,661
    The oral sex reference - I won't mention it - when Bond is with the girl at the start of Tomorrow Never Dies. Moneypenny says the line with all the subtlety of a brick thrown through your front room window.

    And of course "Yo mama" is an epic groaner too. Brosnan's "now there's a name to die for"- epic cringer. LOL
  • Scaramanga12Scaramanga12
    edited November 2015 Posts: 562
    WillyGalore wrote: »
    Zenia in GE:

    "I had to ventilate someone".

    What does that even mean??

    Incorrect explanation. Lesson: don't try to explain bond jokes without remembering the context of the joke.
  • fanbond123fanbond123
    Posts: 1,661
    I thought it was referring to her shooting Natalya. She thought she had killed her. That's my take on the dialogue - ventilate - "to shoot", open up the body with bullet holes!

  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Jinx and Bond talking in the beach side bar, the whole conversation is a groaner.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    I quite like Moneypenny's "linguist" line. Corny as hell but her delivery and posh voice make it funny. Can't stand her last ever line in DAD though about the VR machine.
  • andmcitandmcit
    Posts: 1,068
    I cannot recall the exact point Zenia says this but is it not just a cheesy reference to riddling the ventilation ducting with holes?
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited November 2015 Posts: 11,189
    andmcit wrote: »
    I cannot recall the exact point Zenia says this but is it not just a cheesy reference to riddling the ventilation ducting with holes?

    I remember that line well. It's just after she shoots the vent in the kitchen at Seveneya and thinks she's killed Natalya. In the audio commentary Martin Campbell says the line fell flat during test screenings.

    A fairly crap line but not excruciating.
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    Major Amasova:

    "When this mission is over, I will kill you"

    It is supposed to be a dramatic moment, but I can't help laughing. As if that helpless damsel, who has been no more than a blind passenger through out the film, would be any threat to Bond! :))

    (The only way would be if she caught him unarmed with a gun after he has risked everything to save her life. Oh... well...)
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,582
    Scaramanga12 wrote: »
    NicNac wrote: »
    The line that always jumps out at me is (may be paraphrasing, can't remember exactly)

    Electra: What keeps you alive?
    Bond: I take pleasure in great beauty.

    The next line should have been

    Electra: No, cloth ears. I said WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE? I mean, like 'being able to run fast', or 'always carrying a gun'. Stopping mid chase to stare at a beautiful building or woman will probably get you killed. God alive, are you the best Britain has.

    But no, she accepts the reply which in my mind truly bears no resemblance to the question posed.

    To be fair she meant it in the sense of what pleasure do you get out of life.
    You know what, it never in over 15 years occurred to me that it could be a different meaning of the word 'alive'.
    :-S
  • andmcitandmcit
    edited November 2015 Posts: 1,068
    May Day, where have you been? I've been waiting for you... to take care of me, personally.

    Cringe
  • Perilagu_KhanPerilagu_Khan
    Posts: 2,483
    fanbond123 wrote: »
    I thought it was referring to her shooting Natalya. She thought she had killed her. That's my take on the dialogue - ventilate - "to shoot", open up the body with bullet holes!

    Yep.

  • Scaramanga12Scaramanga12
    Posts: 562

    NicNac wrote: »
    You know what, it never in over 15 years occurred to me that it could be a different meaning of the word 'alive'.
    :-S

    Are you being deliberately obtuse? No one said she was using a different definition of alive. Can you not comprehend someone saying 'what keeps you alive?' without it referreing to the basic essentials of life?



  • Scaramanga12Scaramanga12
    Posts: 562
    andmcit wrote: »
    May Day, where have you been? I've been waiting for you... to take care of me, personally.

    Cringe

    I like zorin's reaction. He's like yeah, what the hell go for it. Gives an insight into his character
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    "Would you like it harder?"

    Moore massaging Fiona Fullerton in a Jacuzzi.

    Also, the way Moore says it sounds so sleazy.
  • jake24jake24 Sitting at your desk, kissing your lover, eating supper with your familyModerator
    Posts: 10,591
    TWINE happens to be one of my favourites, and coincidentally, carries my least favourite line in the series...

    "I was wrong about you."
    "Yeah? How so?"
    "I thought Christmas only cums once a year."

    What the hell were they thinking?
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    "Err......he was....buried with work"

    Awful. Line and delivery imho. TWINE does have some stinkers.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited November 2015 Posts: 11,189
    bondjames wrote: »
    "Err......he was....buried with work"

    Awful. Line and delivery imho. TWINE does have some stinkers.

    I think that line was meant to be bad. The goon gives a "What??" look to Bond.
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