003:1/2 The adventures of James Bond Jr.

Tracy

I believe Ming the merciless used to be asian but when they did DoE toon he was green skinned prolly due to it being more PC in the 80s i would guess

RichardTheBruce

James Bond Jr, Episode 11: "Valley of the Hungry Dunes", Stephen J. Fischer, writer, 30 September 1991.



So they're at an amusement park. To party down, says Gordo. And to observe the laws of physics, says IQ. And geometry, says James observing the girls walking by. There's a saboteur messing with the roller coaster. James grabs a scooter and gives chase on the tracks to save the beautiful female in mid-ride.

Sheik Yabootie is very grateful his daughter Princess Yasmine is safe. The gang is invited to the royal yacht for dinner. Yasmine defends Gordo's burping as her culture's gratitude for the meal. James turns down a stroll with the Princess to follow up with the Sheik. It turns out he has something more valuable than oil--an underground reservoir of water he wants to use to help his people. He's threatened by S.C.U.M. Nick Nack and Jaws surveille the yacht.

Based on Sheik Yabootie's influence on Tracy's father, the Gang travels to his kingdom of Alkaline. To get the water, Dr. No from his underground lair desires to shake the Sheik up using a huge earth drill. James reports to IQ that they have S.C.U.M. trouble. To help out he has the latest modifications to the wristwatch--alert you to the presence of high explosives. Laser beam to cut through inch-thick steel, 30 seconds strength. A button to operate any electrical motor from a distance. Everything but tell time, he admits.

Fatima offers suitable clothes for the ladies.

James agrees to taking a stroll on deck with Yasmine. Jaws and Nick Nack send a "laser torpedo" to the yacht, detected by the IQ watch. James uses a mirror to send it back and sink the bad guys' boat.

The Gang travels with the Sheik to Alkaline. He shows off his hydrotechnology. James notices a second pipeline is pumping water--likely to S.C.U.M.! James chases and loses the operative in the desert. Dr. No is understandably upset with them all. He gives them a final chance to regain control of the pipeline. Plus he has an insider at the palace.

Gordo and IQ witness Nick Nack and Jaws breaking into the palace safe (bites his way in) to get the floppy disk with the program they need. They're apprehended. James looking for Yasmine finds Fatima leading her astray. He chases the escaping vehicle to the Valley of the Hungry Dunes. James falls through the sand, slides on a chute into the lair. Nick Nack and Jaws and Fatima hold him for Dr. No. He's got most of the water already, and is looking for payment of FIVE TRILLION DOLLARS! Or he'll put it into the sea. (He has some sort of power suit and glove remote control.) He holds Princess Yasmine so the Sheik will cooperate. She remains defiant.

James is freed using the IQ wristwatch. They successfully increase pressure on the pipe until it blows the line. The bad guys are washed away. James uses the wristwatch to close the hatch and prevent the water from going to sea.

Sheik Yabootie is even more grateful. Surprised by Princess Yasmine's ingenuity and grit, he declares it's time for a change (to empower women).

Comments

Ticks all the boxes. Yasmine is unusually touchy-feely toward James, he keeps diverting to business. Villains are still unrecognizable to their namesakes. On a bright note, actor Jeff Bennett nails Nick Nack's voice, alongside his regular work as IQ. Crazy enough fun. With the Sheik's new outlook, maybe Tracy and Phoebe can take off their veils.

Film Roll-Up

DN, TMWTGG, TSWLM-MR: Dr. No, Nick Nack, Jaws.
QOS: Villain's caper involves controlling a water source.
TSWLM, OP: Submarine/air missile launch returned to sender.
AVTAK, LTK: Improvised surfing/water ski (here on sand).
TSWLM, AVTAK: Bond on a snow machine/wetbike (here a sand-machine).
YOLT: Trap door and Bond slides down a chute.
DAD: Power suit with controls on the glove.
AVTAK: Escaping flash flood waters.
YOLT, AVTAK: An underground lair.
TND: a huge drill can burrow through metal or earth.

James Bond Jr One-Liners

James Bond Jr: And let's not forget geometric curves.
James Bond Jr: I see I've been dealt two jokers. Make that three of a kind! (Dr. No appears)
James Bond Jr: I think one of the rats came back!
James Bond Jr: Time waits for No Doctor!
James Bond Jr: It was defective so I sent it back! (the laser torpedo)
James Bond Jr: I think one of the rats came back! (after the Pied Piper of Hamlyn lecture)

Next:

Episode 12 - "Pompeii and Circumstance"

RichardTheBruce

James Bond Jr, Episode 12 - "Pompeii and Circumstance", Jeffrey Scott, 1 October 1991.


Holiday, taking Trevor's family van to the summer on the Riviera in Italy, dog-sitting Fifi.

IQ installs some new equipment he just invented. Tires with "retractable steel hooks" that grip anything. Homing device in the dashboard, plus a little remote control (the size of a brick). James has to request IQ put his car together so they can go.

The Worm and henchmen Slug and Cricket are up to no good with boring (cutting into rock and earth) tank vehicles and tunnels. He waxes on the ancient city of Pompeii and the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, and the treasure lying under the lava rock. A fortune. Gold. gems. He sends 4 of them off in the boring tanks with the caution to not bore into the veins of lava (or the tunnel will be flooded with molten rock!).

James with IQ pursues a beautiful girl in green sports car, they pull alongside as an earthquake-type event is triggers by the boring tanks. They dodge a sinkhole, the girl's car goes into it and lands on top of the boring tank with Slug and Cricket, pinning it.

James helps Luisa from the rubble. Her car is ruined. She says gracias. Driving into a pit of rocks in her convertible without a seat belt doesn't seem to be a problem for her. Not an earthquake comments IQ, seeing "some kind of makeshift boring tank" vehicle. James wonders, why. Luisa fills him in on the ancient city of Pompeii. (She should know--she's a tour guide!) James says looking for the answer could be dangerous. (Luisa says she does not-a care. She wants-a to find the person responsible for destroying her car!)

Using the special tires, James drives his car into the hole and tunnel. Downtown, Tracy and Trevor chase after Fifi. Underground James, IQ, and Luisa cruise through the tunnels. They're set upon by a boring tank. The special tires come in handy, James' sports car runs up the tunnel wall and along the ceiling. Though Luisa does fall out of the convertible and Worm's goons grab her.

James resolves to save Luisa. Chasing a boring tank, James jumps aboard (more Indiana Jones than Bond here) and causes a distraction for it to stop. While the crew is outside, James and IQ climb in and take it for their own.

Worm finds the city of Pompei. James and IQ arrive. They battle another boring tank. Luisa grabs Worm's glasses and runs for it. Two boring tanks crash.

James saves Luisa from a falling column, but becomes trapped in the boring tank. Worm goes to collect the gems and gold. Escaping the boring tank, James and friends are faced with the lava flow filling the tunnels (and destroying Pompei). James uses the remote to bring his sports car for their narrow escape.

Back on the surface, James decides to go back to the original crash site and commandeer the stuck boring tank. Once it's freed, he uses it to flood the tunnels with seawater. In a showdown between boring tanks, the Italian Army's tank force arrives to end it. Luisa: "The Worm! He's-a gone!"

Back on the beach, Trevor is despondent until James returns Fifi.

Comments

As far as these stories go, the crazier the better so medium good here. Unfortunate that in stopping The Worm from getting the treasures of Pompei, the remaining well-preserved city and artifacts are apparently destroyed by the molten lava. But the missing dog is returned, some compensation there. Luisa's accent is also entertainment on its own.

Film Roll-Up

GD, OHMSS, GE: Bond chases beautiful woman in sports car.
YOLT: CCTV feeds from impossible angles.
TLD: special gripping tires.
TND: remote control car.
DAF, GE, CR, SF: Bond takes over heavy equipment.
YOLT: Escape from lava floes.

James Bond Jr One-Liners

James Bond Jr: If your new tires don't work like they're supposed to, then there're going to be two wrecks in that hole!
James Bond Jr: Let her go or I'll drill you into the ground where worms like you belong!
James Bond Jr: I've got an idea how to stop this eruption--and get the Worm at the same time!
James Bond Jr: Now to steer a course straight for the Mediterranean!
James Bond Jr: I guess it really is a dog eat dog world after all!

Next:

Episode 13 - "Never Give a Villain a Fair Shake"