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And the Klebbie goes to...Worst execution of a good idea page 147

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  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    Posts: 9,019
    I must say I'm with the critics of the nominating committee here... The only good thing about Bond meeting Jinx is Halle coming out of the water like Ursula. She should have gone right back, though. As soon as Pierce and Halle open their respective mouths, it's the worst scene ever and an epitome for the script-writing trainwreck that DAD is.

    Also, I must say that I somehow never considered Kissy Suzuki as the leading lady in YOLT. Even her name is mentioned nowhere before the credits roll. She's no more than a prop in that pretty idiotic scheme of putting bond in a sort of yellowface.

    Of those scenes being up for voting, yeah, it's either Stacey Sutton (why does Trump's present propaganda blonde remind me of her?) or Christmas Jones. OK, I vote "for" Stacey.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,400
    Our romantic academy have voted and while I dodge the binoculars and bird guide books being thrown at me in protest of DAD not being nominated I shall award the Klebbie to....Bond plays doctor and meets physicist Christmas Jones from TWINE!

    The voting shows the following:

    TWINE received 12 votes
    LTK received 3 votes
    AVTAK received 7 votes
    QOS received 2 votes
    YOLT received 3 votes

    Our next Klebbie comes to us from @R1s1ngs0n who has brought forward the following category and nominees. Our man Bond has said some wonderful lines of dialogue. But he has been known to lay a clunker! I present to you the worst/cringeworthy line uttered by Bond, James Bond! The nominees are:

    "Fetch My Shoes” from DN
    “Most Girls Just Paddle Around, You Swim Like A Man” from TB
    “Miss Anders! I Didn’t Recognize You With Your Clothes On” from TMWTGG
    “That’ll Keep You In Curry For A Few Weeks” from OP
    “I Thought Christmas Comes Only Once A Year” from TWINE

    Time for the academy to vote...which line is worst or most cringeworthy. There are some really interesting choices here. I will be interested to see how the academy votes on this one!
  • echoecho 007 in New York
    Posts: 6,275
    TWINE is the worst.
  • Last_Rat_StandingLast_Rat_Standing Long Neck Ice Cold Beer Never Broke My Heart
    Posts: 4,575
    TWINE by miles.
  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts: 7,546
    TWINE
  • jobojobo
    edited June 2020 Posts: 7,507
    TWINE for sure! Honestly I don´t think the others are that bad.
  • DwayneDwayne New York City
    Posts: 2,838
    I posted this in another thread some months ago. When you become the punch line for “Robot Chicken” (relevant joke starts at 0:50) …….

    TWINE in a landslide.
  • Agent_47Agent_47 Canada
    Posts: 330
    I love that dialogue at the end of TWINE, burst out laughing the first time I heard it. It's a bit much but I still like it. However, the rest of the nominees are at most distasteful, especially in current times. But nothing I'd consider to be that bad or cringeworthy. With all that said... TWINE gets my vote.
  • R1s1ngs0nR1s1ngs0n France
    Posts: 2,144
    “Fetch My Shoes” from Dr. No
    The other lines may be corny, sexist, racist and what have you. But at least they were delivered with a tongue in cheek attitude.
    But this one is just plain mean and wrong on so many levels.
    Connery, and by extension Bond, comes off as a real bastard when he utters that line and makes for the only time I truly disliked Bond as a character.
  • peterpeter Toronto
    Posts: 9,509
    I love Connery's delivery of "Most girls just paddle around..." since it sounded exactly like something Fleming Bond would say. And Connery delivers it so bloody naturally. I can't say that line and sound anything other than a dick. Same goes with most of us. But damn, Connery "fits" that line... (and yes, I did try and say it while swimming with my wife, which led to me taking a mouth full of sea water and almost choking).

    "Fetch my shoes" has been one of those lines that can make me feel very uncomfortable. It was snapped at because danger was arriving, but, the fact the one person of color was told to go and fetch them... yeah.... uncomfortable. And, although I despise my runner up ("I thought Christmas comes only once a year), fetch my shoes is the turkey that is the most uncomfortable and cringey for me.
  • goldenswissroyalegoldenswissroyale Switzerland
    Posts: 4,473
    I didn't even realize this line from Dr. No for a long time. (I started only a few years ago with watching the older movies in english). I even had to google for a clip now. And I have to admit that this line is uncomfortable today. Quarrel deserves a nicer treatment.
    Dr. No for me.

    I can understand the votes for TWINE but I liked it at least the first time I understood it (I didn't understand it as a young and very innocent boy!).

    I honestly don't remember the line from OP but I like the line from TMWTGG. Roger is allowed to say such things;)
  • RevelatorRevelator
    edited June 2020 Posts: 2,914
    peter wrote: »
    "Fetch my shoes" has been one of those lines that can make me feel very uncomfortable. It was snapped at because danger was arriving, but, the fact the one person of color was told to go and fetch them... yeah.... uncomfortable.

    Exactly. And whereas "you swim like a man” indeed sounds like something Fleming's Bond would say, "fetch my shoes" doesn't. Fleming wrote that Bond and Quarrel's relationship "remained that of a Scots laird with his head stalker; authority was unspoken and there was no room for servility." A remark like "fetch my shoes" denotes nothing but servility.
  • BeatlesSansEarmuffsBeatlesSansEarmuffs
    Posts: 3,566
    Revelator wrote: »
    peter wrote: »
    "Fetch my shoes" has been one of those lines that can make me feel very uncomfortable. It was snapped at because danger was arriving, but, the fact the one person of color was told to go and fetch them... yeah.... uncomfortable.

    Exactly. And whereas "you swim like a man” indeed sounds like something Fleming's Bond would say, "fetch my shoes" doesn't. Fleming wrote that Bond and Quarrel's relationship "remained that of a Scots laird with his head stalker; authority was unspoken and there was no room for servility." A remark like "fetch my shoes" denotes nothing but servility.

    "Fetch." Woof. The line about curry always made me cringe too, but fetch is just the worst. A kick in the shins for Dr. No.
  • 2Wint2Kidd2Wint2Kidd
    Posts: 698
    "Fetch my shoes" from Dr No.
  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    edited June 2020 Posts: 7,546
    Reading some very articulate posts from members regarding the Dr. No line, I can easily see how it'd be the worst. I won't change my vote, but this has been an enlightening read (especially how @Revelator relates it to Fleming).
  • PrinceKamalKhanPrinceKamalKhan Monsoon Palace, Udaipur
    Posts: 3,262
    “I Thought Christmas Comes Only Once A Year” from TWINE
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    I must admit I never really noticed the "fetch my shoes" line before for some reason. Now that I am aware of it, it sure leaves a bad taste in my mouth... My original vote stands though.
  • bigladiesmanbigladiesman
    Posts: 1,009
    “Fetch my shoes”. Not even the most cringeworthy dialogs of Fleming's LALD can surpass that.

    A honorable mention would go to Bond inexplicably dissing that poor hotel clerk on MR. Even Roger looks disgusted with himself.
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 5,989
    TWINE for sure. I groaned the first time I heard it. And the second. And the third.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,400
    That is one weird scene @bigladiesman and makes me feel awkward for the clerk. It feels out of tone with Roger's Bond too.
  • GeneralGogolGeneralGogol
    Posts: 928
    Dr. No - "Fetch my shoes"
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,128
    TWINE - ‘I thought Christmas only comes once a year.’
    X_X
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,044
    “I Thought Christmas Comes Only Once A Year” from TWINE
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    TWINE easily wins this, but the line from TMWTGG is pretty infantile and unfunny as well.
  • LeonardPineLeonardPine The Bar on the Beach
    Posts: 3,996
    TWINE. Cringe inducing.
  • vzokvzok
    Posts: 4,044
    TWINE isn’t just an awful joke, but the most signposted joke ever.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    edited June 2020 Posts: 16,338
    It’s Fetch my Shoes for me too: it’s always made me laugh because it’s so horrendous!

    The ‘curry’ line is bad too, but it’s at least meant in a sweet way, ‘fetch’ is just horrible!

    I watched Dr No again last week after not seeing it for a few years and was quite struck by how Bond isn’t fully-formed in this one: he’s quite a dick the whole way through! :)

    Personally I’m hoping for a ‘filthiest innuendo’ round: with Roger’s ‘lick you into shape’, ‘the trip from Alaska took a lot out of me’ and ‘I’ll fill you in later, Moneypenny’ all being candidates hopefully! :D
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    Everyone knows that the line 'I didn't recognise you with your clothes on' should only ever be delivered to a vicar or priest.

    Nevertheless, I go for TWINE because it's the last line of the film and there's no chance to redeem himself.
  • GoldenGunGoldenGun Per ora e per il momento che verrà
    Posts: 7,108
    Ok, so the ones from TB, TMWTGG and OP I don't really mind. I'd even have to admit I think they're rather funny. Clearly he doesn't mean any harm with it, especially the OP one is a silly quip among colleagues.

    The one from TWINE is stupid but innocent. Only the one from DN leaves a bad aftertaste, so I'm going to go with that one.
  • Herr_StockmannHerr_Stockmann
    Posts: 910
    GoldenGun wrote: »
    The one from TWINE is stupid but innocent. Only the one from DN leaves a bad aftertaste, so I'm going to go with that one.
    That's also my opinion.

    Vote goes to the Dr. No line.
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