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And the Klebbie goes to...Worst execution of a good idea page 147

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  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,422
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    mtm wrote: »
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?

    She s just coming is kind of funny.
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    mtm wrote: »
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?

    Well, 'she's just coming sir' is a proper double entendre in that it has a specific double meaning - he is responding to M calling for Goodnight. In TWINE there is no prompt other than for him to make a stupid joke. If you had to innocently explain 'she's just coming sir' to a child, you could. The line in TWINE is non-sensical outside of a sexual context.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,422
    Yeah I guess that makes sense. I do remember Total Film magazine actually predicting that line when the character name was announced :)
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    I think that's part of it. Its just so obvious. And it comes right after his 'Christmas in Turkey' line, too.
  • GoldenGunGoldenGun Per ora e per il momento che verrà
    Posts: 7,136
    Just can't see how it can not be the on from DN.

    Granted, all the other ones aren't exactly Shakespearean either but 'Fetch my shoes' is just nasty.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Bond is paying him for his assistance, I don t get this outrage over asking for his shoes. Now, if he had said "Shine my shoes, boy!" that would have been something else entirely. Bond in the early films acts exactly in this way towards lots of people. Retroactively reading some kind of white supremacy agenda or suchlike into it, is overstretching it imo.
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    I like to think that the 'fetch my shoes' line is innocent at heart. He needs to run one way with Honey, and he also needs his shoes. It's filmmaking expediency more than anything.

    The alternative, that it was delivered with colonial and imperialist intentions, is obviously unpalatable. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt in these situations. I think there are far more racist moments dotted throughout the series than this, too.

    But yes, it is not a line that holds up well, and I have no complaints with anyone nominating it as the worst line.
  • jobojobo
    Posts: 7,507
    mtm wrote: »
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?

    It is probably because you realize she was given that name to set up that punchline. There are plenty of cheesy sexual innuendos in the Bond films, but most of them are at least throw away lines without that clunky build up.
  • echoecho 007 in New York
    Posts: 6,304
    Thunderfinger wrote: »
    mtm wrote: »
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?

    She s just coming is kind of funny.

    The TMWTGG line is much better written; it straddles the line. Just. And the irascibility of Lee makes it even funnier.
  • CraigMooreOHMSSCraigMooreOHMSS Dublin, Ireland
    Posts: 8,217
    Many of those are clunkers, and as bad as the TWINE line is (and it is), either of the lines with racial subtexts are far more shameful. I'll have to go with "Fetch my shoes" from Dr. No.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,433
    mtm wrote: »
    It’s Fetch my Shoes for me too: it’s always made me laugh because it’s so horrendous!

    The ‘curry’ line is bad too, but it’s at least meant in a sweet way, ‘fetch’ is just horrible!

    I watched Dr No again last week after not seeing it for a few years and was quite struck by how Bond isn’t fully-formed in this one: he’s quite a dick the whole way through! :)

    Personally I’m hoping for a ‘filthiest innuendo’ round: with Roger’s ‘lick you into shape’, ‘the trip from Alaska took a lot out of me’ and ‘I’ll fill you in later, Moneypenny’ all being candidates hopefully! :D

    Sounds like you almost have the category figured out. PM 5 nominees and lets do it!
  • j_w_pepperj_w_pepper Born on the bayou, but I now hear a new dog barkin'
    Posts: 9,041
    I always thought that "Fetch my shoes!" is really bad (hell, he could have least said "Quarrel, please..."), but the TWINE line takes the cake for me. It must be about the only line in a Bond script that caused the writers to choose a character name for the sole purpose of making such a godawful pun. Come to think of it, there are no other godawful puns of that magnitude.
  • vzokvzok
    Posts: 4,044
    mtm wrote: »
    Is anyone able to say why the TWINE line is any worse than, say, "She's just coming sir" from the end of TMWTGG? Is it because it's a bit more overstressed as a big punchline than just a throwaway bit of naughtiness?
    As soon as they name the character Christmas, you know there is a Christmas joke coming (excuse me) and that joke is as old as the hills.
  • Mathis1Mathis1
    Posts: 7,434
    TWINE, most definitely cringey line!
  • IGotABrudderIGotABrudder UK
    Posts: 631
    DN. It is a disastrous line, as it undoes all characterisation that the film had done up to that point.

    The line had already been identified as being disgraceful as early as 1972. I’ve got John Brosnan’s James Bond in the Cinema which was published that year, and Brosnan says:

    “Until the arrival on the island, the character of Quarrel had been treated sympathetically but from then on he becomes like one of those old-fashioned comic Negro types. I particularly disliked a scene on the beach where Bond curtly orders Quarrel to ‘fetch my shoes!’ When the so-called dragon tracks are found Quarrel launches into one of those classic ‘Massa! Massa! I’m scared!’ routines complete with eye-rolling. Bond glances at the tracks and condescendingly tells Quarrel that it’s a strange dragon that leaves tyre tread marks” (page 24)

    That was written only ten years after DN was released.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,433
    It's looking like a 2 quote race! TWINE and DN have received the lion share of votes. A couple nominees have received 0 votes to this point! Lets keep things rolling and see if one comes out on top!
  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    edited June 2020 Posts: 7,553
    Are we doing a sudden death? Or just continuing on voting for any of the lot?
  • ProfJoeButcherProfJoeButcher Bless your heart
    Posts: 1,711
    Dr No. The TWINE one is harmless fun
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,433
    Taking a few more votes. I haven't tallied but it seems like TWINE and DN are getting the most votes.
  • jabalijabali Los Angeles
    edited June 2020 Posts: 43
    The DN quote has certainly aged the worst (it’s pretty vile but a sign of the times) but I’ll go with TWINE. Absolutely bizarre ending, especially right after another joke that is essentially the same thing.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    edited June 2020 Posts: 16,422
    IGotABrudder wrote: »
    DN. It is a disastrous line, as it undoes all characterisation that the film had done up to that point.

    The line had already been identified as being disgraceful as early as 1972. I’ve got John Brosnan’s James Bond in the Cinema which was published that year, and Brosnan says:

    “Until the arrival on the island, the character of Quarrel had been treated sympathetically but from then on he becomes like one of those old-fashioned comic Negro types. I particularly disliked a scene on the beach where Bond curtly orders Quarrel to ‘fetch my shoes!’ When the so-called dragon tracks are found Quarrel launches into one of those classic ‘Massa! Massa! I’m scared!’ routines complete with eye-rolling. Bond glances at the tracks and condescendingly tells Quarrel that it’s a strange dragon that leaves tyre tread marks” (page 24)

    That was written only ten years after DN was released.

    That's another one to add to my 'Bond is a dick in Dr No' manifesto: there's bugger all reason for them to try and take on the tank in an armed confrontation, and yet he does so and gets Quarrel killed and the two of them left captured!
  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    Posts: 7,553
    mtm wrote: »
    IGotABrudder wrote: »
    DN. It is a disastrous line, as it undoes all characterisation that the film had done up to that point.

    The line had already been identified as being disgraceful as early as 1972. I’ve got John Brosnan’s James Bond in the Cinema which was published that year, and Brosnan says:

    “Until the arrival on the island, the character of Quarrel had been treated sympathetically but from then on he becomes like one of those old-fashioned comic Negro types. I particularly disliked a scene on the beach where Bond curtly orders Quarrel to ‘fetch my shoes!’ When the so-called dragon tracks are found Quarrel launches into one of those classic ‘Massa! Massa! I’m scared!’ routines complete with eye-rolling. Bond glances at the tracks and condescendingly tells Quarrel that it’s a strange dragon that leaves tyre tread marks” (page 24)

    That was written only ten years after DN was released.

    That's another one to add to my 'Bond is a dick in Dr No' manifesto: there's bugger all reason for them to try and take on the tank in an armed confrontation, and yet he does so and gets Quarrel killed and the two of them left captured!

    I read somewhere that Leiter was a better Bond in Dr. No than Bond was... much more suave, calm, collected (in the Jamaica scenes, anyway). Can't really comment on whether or not I agree necessarily, but for some reason that comment resonated with me.
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    edited June 2020 Posts: 5,433
    It seems we may have a two quote race on our hands. A fair amount of votes have been registered for the two so I am going to walk to the stage and deliver the Klebbie. The worst/cringeworthy line delivered by James Bond is..."I thought Christmas only came once a year from TWINE

    The votes show that TWINE received 17 votes while "Fetch my shoes" from DN received 13 votes The other nominees did not receive any votes. Great discussion on that round of voting!

    Now we shall return to the lighter side and best side and award a Bondie. This award is proudly sponsored by @Max_The_Parrot and the category is best animal actor in a Bond film! Yes there have been more then a few animals within the films. So I am going to also allow write in votes even though I am putting forward 5 nominees! Yes This is unprecedented!

    The nominees are:
    • dog pisses on the Junkanoo from the film TB
    • pigeon does a double take at the gondola from the film MR
    • snake and mongoose fight while Bond watches from CR
    • Max the parrot spectates on a death and then a brawl in the kitchen from TLD
    • Jaws (the shark) expects Bond to drop in for a bite from TSWLM
    • write in for favourite animal actor or appearance

    Lets have some fun with this category as I am sure that our favourite pigeon is going to take the prize. However I have been proved wrong before. Who takes home the parrot I mean Bondie for best animal appearance/actor in a Bond film!

  • NickTwentyTwoNickTwentyTwo Vancouver, BC, Canada
    edited June 2020 Posts: 7,553
    Gotta give this vote to @Max_The_Parrot :)

    EDIT: We're allowed write ins, so I'm going to change my vote to Blofeld's Pussycat. Sorry Max!
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,369
    Double Take Pigeon forever!!!!
  • R1s1ngs0nR1s1ngs0n France
    edited June 2020 Posts: 2,148
    Max the parrot
  • marcmarc Universal Exports
    edited June 2020 Posts: 2,610
    Max the Parrot, but rather for his FYEO performance: the 'ATAC to St. Cyril's' one-liner, voice doubling to the PM and ridding Q Branch of another gadget.
  • jabalijabali Los Angeles
    Posts: 43
    Max the Parrot from FYEO for sure. Double take pigeon is a classic, but it's all in the (goofy) editing.
  • PrinceKamalKhanPrinceKamalKhan Monsoon Palace, Udaipur
    Posts: 3,262
    I cast my vote for the pigeon does a double take at the gondola from the film MR.

    I've read so many complaints about him over the years but he's never bothered me at all.
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