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And the Klebbie goes to...Worst execution of a good idea page 147

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Comments

  • IGotABrudderIGotABrudder UK
    Posts: 631
    Iceberg sub please.

    I’m happy with the basic idea, it’s just the interior decor that ruins it for me.
  • echoecho 007 in New York
    Posts: 6,382
    Of these, I vote for the MR camera.
  • marcmarc Universal Exports
    Posts: 2,611
    TB radioactive pill (most boring one, comparatively, among the nominees)
  • SatoriousSatorious Brushing up on a little Danish
    Posts: 234
    Urgh - that TND car buzz-saw. Practically useless for any other purpose, reminded me of the very worst of Batman gadgets. Put me down for this one please...
  • BT3366BT3366
    Posts: 1,927
    Wouldn't the GE BMW also be considered a useless gadget considering Q goes to the trouble of showing it to Bond and introducing all the gadgets and all we get to see him do is drive it down a strip of land and that's it.
  • suavejmfsuavejmf Harrogate, North Yorkshire, England
    Posts: 5,131
    The invisible Aston Martin, as it’s a useless ‘plot device/ gimmick’ that pushed the film into parody.
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    BT3366 wrote: »
    Wouldn't the GE BMW also be considered a useless gadget considering Q goes to the trouble of showing it to Bond and introducing all the gadgets and all we get to see him do is drive it down a strip of land and that's it.

    It's not useless, because we know the effectiveness of all it can do because he has similar gadgets on other cars.

    It is, however, not very good form for it to be in the film and not be used. Just looks like a hasty bit of product placement.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    edited November 2020 Posts: 16,602
    BT3366 wrote: »
    Wouldn't the GE BMW also be considered a useless gadget considering Q goes to the trouble of showing it to Bond and introducing all the gadgets and all we get to see him do is drive it down a strip of land and that's it.

    Yeah that one is terrible: they really shouldn't promise something they're not going to give you. It must be the only time Q has shown Bond a gadget and then sent him on a mission without it! :)
    TWINE had a similar level of shoehorning a car in but at least they managed to have it fire a rocket in an action sequence (and it was also at least a luxury car that time).
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,331
    Tbh the fact that it isn't used gives moe credibility to all the other gadgets. It means Bond is equipped for as much as Q can foresee what he needs, not what the scriptwriters' need. I never noticed the dead seagull was a snorkel, and that starts to make sense ( i was going to vote for that one), I never liked the iceberg, why not have a real submarine wait for him? The radio-active pill is just a sure fire way to get rid of your secret agents, and is a good nomination as well. In that vain I'd also go for the 'smart blood', which takes it too fat imo. But I guess the winner should be the write-in candidate Aston Martin Vanish. It makes no sense whatsoever. Not only is it impossible, they put the car in the snow so it leaves tiretracks..... then they need to get the invisibility damaeged to have a chase on the ice (usefull gadget, cuts minutes out of your film), to only restore it again when Bond has gotten himself in a corner. If he'd driven up as soon as Zao hit the pedal he could've done the same. It's stupid lazy scriptwriting and comes with way too many problems to make it remotely interesting.
  • GeneralGogolGeneralGogol
    Posts: 928
    Never liked the iceberg sub... does it even have a toilet?
  • GoldenGunGoldenGun Per ora e per il momento che verrà
    Posts: 7,207
    I absolutely love OP, but I have to go with the croc sub.

    On the other hand, am I the only one who really likes the Iceberg sub?
  • MalloryMallory
    Posts: 2,171
    GeneralGogol wrote: »
    Never liked the iceberg sub... does it even have a toilet?

    For a five day trip, I hope so. Otherwise its up the hatch and over the side...
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,370
    The pigeon hat thing. Croc sub at least looked like a croc, the pigeon just looked like a stuffed animal pulled from the sewer!
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    edited November 2020 Posts: 16,602
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    Tbh the fact that it isn't used gives moe credibility to all the other gadgets. It means Bond is equipped for as much as Q can foresee what he needs, not what the scriptwriters' need.

    But it's a film: not real life. In a film you pay off stuff that you promise otherwise the audience aren't satisfied.

    Also, if Q was equipping Bond for the mission why does he send him off without the car? :D
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    ut I guess the winner should be the write-in candidate Aston Martin Vanish. It makes no sense whatsoever. Not only is it impossible, they put the car in the snow so it leaves tiretracks..... then they need to get the invisibility damaeged to have a chase on the ice (usefull gadget, cuts minutes out of your film), to only restore it again when Bond has gotten himself in a corner. If he'd driven up as soon as Zao hit the pedal he could've done the same.

    Not really: it is possible to steer cars even after you press the accelerator! :D
    GoldenGun wrote: »
    I absolutely love OP, but I have to go with the croc sub.

    On the other hand, am I the only one who really likes the Iceberg sub?

    I like it! Plus I think it's a nicely designed set inside too.
  • MalloryMallory
    edited November 2020 Posts: 2,171
    Can I put forward for consideration, as much as I like the car... from Spectre... the Aston Martin DB10.

    Bond exists by and large in “the real world” and drives real world cars. The DB10 is not a production vehicle, it is not road legal and it doesn’t exist in the real world, by which I mean it cant be purchased. All other vehicles in the series have been production vehicles which, while expensive, can be purchased and driven for real.

    Plus the gadgets are lacklustre, barely work, and it ends up in the Tiber (though that is due to poor driving decisions by the owner).

    Also it doesnt have a front licence plate, which also irks me,
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,602
    Mallory wrote: »
    Can I put forward for consideration, as much as I like the car... from Spectre... the Aston Martin DB10.

    Bond exists by and large in “the real world” and drives real world cars. The DB10 is not a production vehicle, it is not road legal and it doesn’t exist in the real world, by which I mean it cant be purchased. All other vehicles in the series have been production vehicles which, while expensive, can be purchased and driven for real.

    Sure, but Bond’s world also contains Isthmus and San Monique and a Minister of Defence who managed to stay in the job even though his party got voted out of government: things are different there!
    Mallory wrote: »
    Plus the gadgets are lacklustre, barely work, and it ends up in the Tiber (though that is due to poor driving decisions by the owner).

    Also it doesnt have a front licence plate, which also irks me,

    Well it does have a front one, but for some strange reason it’s on the back of the car! Rear UK numberplates are yellow: I have no idea why they put a white one on it. Did they think it looked nicer?
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    mtm wrote: »

    Well it does have a front one, but for some strange reason it’s on the back of the car! Rear UK numberplates are yellow: I have no idea why they put a white one on it. Did they think it looked nicer?

    I have my issues with you @mtm, but fucking hell that is good knowledge. Credit where it is due.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,680
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    Tbh the fact that it isn't used gives moe credibility to all the other gadgets. It means Bond is equipped for as much as Q can foresee what he needs, not what the scriptwriters' need.
    Agreed, and I kinda like when gadgets are shown to Bond but not used later. Q brings his bag of tricks to Isthmus and explains the explosive alarm clock, but it is never seen again. I would rather the odd gadget not be used than shoehorned in as a blatant deus ex machina, which most of them turn out to be.

    It would've been cool to see the BMW in action of course, but going by Q's descriptions, the stinger missiles were the highlight of the car's arsenal - something they made up for in the next three films.

    I suspect a scene showing the headlight missiles being fired was scrapped, as it would've been too similar to what we got with the Tiger helicopter.
    mtm wrote: »
    Also, if Q was equipping Bond for the mission why does he send him off without the car? :D
    Q forgot to winterize it!

    The BMW wasn't ready for the mission. Lab technicians were still working on it when Bond had to fly to St Petersburg. The technician in the car was trying to install something that looked like a stereo, while Bond was playing with it. You can't drive without music!
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,602
    FatherValentine wrote: »
    mtm wrote: »

    Well it does have a front one, but for some strange reason it’s on the back of the car! Rear UK numberplates are yellow: I have no idea why they put a white one on it. Did they think it looked nicer?

    I have my issues with you @mtm, but fucking hell that is good knowledge. Credit where it is due.

    That’s not a very nice message to read in the morning. And it’s not exactly arcane knowledge either: cars are everywhere.
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,680
    mtm wrote: »
    That's not a very nice message to read in the morning.
    Read it in the evening, you'll feel much better.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,602
    QBranch wrote: »
    mtm wrote: »
    That's not a very nice message to read in the morning.
    Read it in the evening, you'll feel much better.

    Nope, still unpleasant.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,331
    mtm wrote: »
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    Tbh the fact that it isn't used gives moe credibility to all the other gadgets. It means Bond is equipped for as much as Q can foresee what he needs, not what the scriptwriters' need.

    But it's a film: not real life. In a film you pay off stuff that you promise otherwise the audience aren't satisfied.

    Also, if Q was equipping Bond for the mission why does he send him off without the car? :D
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    ut I guess the winner should be the write-in candidate Aston Martin Vanish. It makes no sense whatsoever. Not only is it impossible, they put the car in the snow so it leaves tiretracks..... then they need to get the invisibility damaeged to have a chase on the ice (usefull gadget, cuts minutes out of your film), to only restore it again when Bond has gotten himself in a corner. If he'd driven up as soon as Zao hit the pedal he could've done the same.

    Not really: it is possible to steer cars even after you press the accelerator! :D
    It does. And it's on ice. With six foot of steel protruding in front of the front wheels, which would make any steering zao would do too late. That is, of course, if Bond times it well.
    I guess there's a reason why ramming devices aren't standard issue gadgets on road cars.


  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    edited November 2020 Posts: 5,479
    Okay time for this bird to flap and fly to the stage and announce our Klebbie winner. A rare category that had all nominees receiving at least one vote and many write in votes. We may have to revisit this category down the road with some new nominees.

    The Klebbie for worst gadget used by Bond goes to....Moonraker 007 camera it received 7 votes.

    Our other nominees:
    • Iceberg sub from AVTAK receiving 6 votes
    • Crocodile sub from OP receiving 3 votes
    • Lame duck from GF receiving 3 votes
    • Radioactive poison pill from TB receiving 1 vote

    In a similar vein our man Bond has had numerous attempts on his life. @R1s1ngs0n has crafted a devilish category for us to consider. Some have been creative and showed a sense of style and lethal aggression. But some have been head scratching moments. Why would the villain or henchman think this would kill our man. Why not just shoot?

    Here are the nominees for worst attempt to kill double-o-7!
    • TB’s Count Lippe attempts to stretch Bond to death on a traction table
    • YOLT’s Helga pilots Bond up and then puts a plywood piece over his hands the leave him to crash in the plane the whole thing is cringe worthy
    • DAF’s Wint and Kidd decide putting a comatose Bond in an oil pipeline will kill him? The pet rat begs to differ.
    • FYEO’s Kristatos decides he would rather knell haul Melina and Bond behind the boat shark baiting
    • AVTAK’s Zorin uses his improv skills and leaves Bond and Stacey in a burning elevator

    Okay which one of these nominees should get a kick to the shins? What is the worst attempt to kill Bond?
  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,370
    Has to be the traction table among this group. I think all the others have their merits.
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 6,022
    YOLT, without a doubt.
  • IGotABrudderIGotABrudder UK
    Posts: 631
    I think some of these are actually ok. The keel-hauling is from Fleming so it gets a pass from me. Putting Bond in the oil pipeline is also a nice callback to Fleming’s DAF, as the concept of the ‘pipeline’ is central to the novel (its first and last chapters are called The Pipeline Opens and The Pipeline Closes, if I recall correctly).

    YOLT though is bonkers crazy. Why not just shoot him and hide the body? They only need to hide the body for the couple of days that it takes for world war three to break out. Instead they crash a plane!

    Also, that little plank makes no sense. It must have been outside the fuselage for it to shoot across his hands like that.
  • MalloryMallory
    Posts: 2,171
    Have to agree with @IGotABrudder. The YOLT attempt is plain bonkers and as mentioned, why not just shoot him then crash the plane, or at the very least knock him unconscious before crashing the plane. I get they want to make it look like an accident but this is just sloppy, especially from ‘numbered’ SPECTRE agents.
  • FatherValentineFatherValentine England
    Posts: 737
    Is Lippe trying to kill him, or just hurt him? I can't recall exactly now.

    Out of this list it is definitely YOLT.

    The rest are torturous, horrible ways to die, especially the keel hauling and being left in a burning lift. I don't think either Kirstatos or Zorin could have expected Bond to escape. Leaving Bond alive in the Rolls Royce before sinking it in the lake in AVTAK is far worse.
  • mtmmtm United Kingdom
    Posts: 16,602
    I think I’ll go for the traction table too; I can certainly see that the YOLT one is odder as they’ve actually planned that, and Count Lippe is just improvising with what’s to hand, but at least all of the other candidates would actually kill him! I’m not convinced the traction thing would.
  • R1s1ngs0nR1s1ngs0n France
    edited November 2020 Posts: 2,161
    DAF’s pipeline.
    Helga was clearly over complicating things in YOLT but at least the risk of death remained palpable.
    On the other hand Wint and Kidd went from putting Bond in one of his most perilous predicaments (a burning coffin) to arguably the most ridiculous attempt on his life.
    Not only did it not seem threatening but the ease with which Bond seemed to neutralize the ‘danger’ made that scene all the more laughable.
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