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You Only Live Twenty-Thrice - All The Moments Bond Should Have Died:
Simply put: When should Bond have actually died:
Here's a few of mine -
-You Only Live Twice - they never explained his 'faked' death scene, and the trap was pretty convincing. I've heard that the guards that 'shot' Bond were hired to trick the girl in the room so she would think he was dead, but they fired actual bullets, so...
-Die Another Day - the death-laser-creating-a-glacier-tsunami-and-surfing-on-a-panel-from-a-jet-propulsion-car scene did not have me convinced. Nor did the Helicopter-start-in-mid-flight scene. That movie should have died..
-Goldfinger - IMO, if I were Goldfinger, Bond would have, in fact, been sliced perfectly in two on that table. He wasn't very convincing.
-Casino Roylae - Le Chiffre had him. If SMERSH - er - Mr. White hadn't come, ironically, to Bond's rescue, he woulda been dead. In the book, they even say "the average man" would not have been able to recover from his injuries as Bond did.
I'll leave the rest to you guys.
Here's a few of mine -
-You Only Live Twice - they never explained his 'faked' death scene, and the trap was pretty convincing. I've heard that the guards that 'shot' Bond were hired to trick the girl in the room so she would think he was dead, but they fired actual bullets, so...
-Die Another Day - the death-laser-creating-a-glacier-tsunami-and-surfing-on-a-panel-from-a-jet-propulsion-car scene did not have me convinced. Nor did the Helicopter-start-in-mid-flight scene. That movie should have died..
-Goldfinger - IMO, if I were Goldfinger, Bond would have, in fact, been sliced perfectly in two on that table. He wasn't very convincing.
-Casino Roylae - Le Chiffre had him. If SMERSH - er - Mr. White hadn't come, ironically, to Bond's rescue, he woulda been dead. In the book, they even say "the average man" would not have been able to recover from his injuries as Bond did.
I'll leave the rest to you guys.
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Comments
Every time the main villain has Bond restrained, and instead chooses to fill him in on every aspect of his evil plan, or brings Bond along for the ride so he can watch the plan unfold.
Ah, yes. Another:
Goldeneye: Bond catches the plane.. and pulls up. PFFT. Not to mention he out-everything's like hundred's of Soviets without a scratch.
Party pooper.
It is as if the villian thinks that since Bond had led an extraordinary life then he should get an extraordinary death.
YOLT Helga should have shot him in the head when she had him in her power...Also the poison would have killed his ass if Aki had not changed positions in bed...
DN After the dragon incinerated Quarrel why didn't they just give Bond and Honey the same treatment? Afterall Bond was armed and shooting at them...
FRWL Grant got greedy and wanted the gold and opened the brief case, he should have just killed Bond. He had him in his power and control...
DAF Kidd and Wint had no problems closing the pipeline with previous smugglers. Why put Bond in that pipe hoping the construction guys would bury him the next day (??)
And why didn't Blofeld just shoot him in the suite?
FYEO Why was Blofeld playing with him on the helicopter? Trying to savor the moment? Please...
AVTAK Zorin should have shot him and threw his dead body in the Bentley along with Tippett. Why knock him out and hope he would drown?
LTK Dario had him on the conveyor belt until Pam came along and saved the day. He should have died there for sure.
The list goes on. Aside from the villian dreaming up an elaborate death, then why do they simply take out Bond's sidekick? They never live to fight another day so give Bond the same treatment.
LOL!!!!! =))
And now the puns begin.
Honestly, though, on this subject, there are way too many times he should have died to count. There's at least one spot in every film (as said before, when the villain has Bond restrained and chooses to plot dump instead of finish the job), and in some cases more than one.
And then there's "catching the plane in mid-air jump" with the bad green screen which might stand out as the most ridiculous stunt in the history of the Bond franchise. The series has always been great with using actual stuntmen instead of special effects. When they have to resort the this you know their taking too many liberties with the audience.
And as much as I loved both of Craig's films I'll admit the parachuete opening a second or two before Bond and Camille hit the ground in QOS was really pushing it. Even if it did soften their landing they'd both be pretty badly injured, not casually talking about their motives for going after Greene.
Very true indeed.
Goldeneye's PTS still takes the cake for me. As does almost every action scene in DAD.
I agree. One of the few times Bond seemed truly helpless.
FRWL: Red Grant shouldn't have spared Bond at the Gypsy Camp battle.
GF: To avoid growth, Bond thought of baseball on the laser table and had the epiphony to think of grand slam.
TB: If Largo's sharks only had freakin' laser beams attached to their freakin' heads.
YOLT: How inconsiderate of Helga to leave her flight early.
OHMSS: A good thing Bond stopped and smelled the flowers.
DAF: A heartwarming, moving and glowing tribute indeed.
LALD: Honkies in Harlem is rarely a good idea.
TMWTGG: Scaramanga didn't have to let Bond land you know.
TSWLM: Lotus 1 Naomi 0
MR: At any point while in space.
FYEO: There's worst ways to go besides being tied to Caroline Bouquet face to face.
OP: Bond stopped clowning around at the last second.
AVTAK: Good thing that tire wasn't filled with nitorgen.
TLD: How did Bond know to get out of that barn on ice?
LTK: Crack heads everywhere would have been snorting Timbo.
GE: Natalya's screaming would wake the dead in any helicopter.
TND: Q's taser cell phone came in handy.
TWINE: Bond didn't get that last screw from Elektra.
DAD: Gaudy CGI parasailing trumps a giant laser from space any day.
CR: Now we know why we don't let Valenka mix drinks.
QOS: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need Camille let the...well, you know the rest.
What do you mean here? Y'see, I think you have something very vulgar in mind (nice joke, if it is), but I'm still a little confused. Just tell me whether or not I have the right idea.
Hmm I would say that was actually one of the more convincing situations where Bond survives. Le Chiffre was trying to extract information out of Bond, he needed to keep him alive. Mr White coming along was fortuitous for Bond but not too much a stretch for the imagination.
I think you're right @Agent007391- in other words @Kerim meant to say: Bond was trying not to keep the British end up (or he'd be half the man he used to be- yikes!). Am I right? Funny list by the way. :)
Thank you Q Branch for the compliment and the explanation.
Agent007391, it's and old joke here in the states where if a man finds himself, let's say stimulated, in a situation he doesn't want to be stimulated, he thinks about the sport of baseball to become less stimulated. The baseball joke clicked with Operation Grand Slam, where a grand slam in baseball is a home run hit with the bases loaded.
Bond needed all the wiggle room he could get on Goldfinger's laser table.
What was up with "You Only Live Twice".... the fake death??
I never got it.. he was dead, they buried him, just made it too unclear to the audience.. I wasn't a fan of the beginning of that film.
There have been so many close calls, if he were a cat, he'd be dead about 3 times already.
Guess I'm too young to know that joke (and don't care much for baseball), but it's still funny.
Definitely, that might have been the closest of all!
He's ment to be the best god dam shot in the business "I never miss"
Oh yes you bloody do James! All the bloody time!
CR. Bond's been poisoned. He came closest to dying ever! His heart beats stopped! But Vesper saved him in time. Damn you Vesper...