I'm Planning On Moving Elsewhere...

Tyler_Durrane

For the past few years, I’ve often felt like I haven’t truly belonged here in Ontario—even though I know that my experience is just one thread in a much larger tapestry. I remember times when a simple glance or a passing remark made me feel like an outsider, and each little misunderstanding added to the weight I carried every day.

I’m no stranger to mistakes; I stumble, learn, and try to grow from each misstep. Yet, there were moments when, no matter how much I tried to change, I still felt labeled as a disappointment. I recall being asked to leave stores because of how I dressed—wearing streetwear that felt true to who I am—even though I was never aggressive or had any reason to be judged harshly. In high school, even small errors led to ridicule or harsh reprimands, moments that left me questioning my worth.

I also remember the frustration of watching older students report the smallest missteps to teachers, making everyday situations feel overwhelmingly punitive. When I stood up for myself, it often felt like the response was to brand me as the troublemaker, even if I was simply reacting to a situation that had built up over time. I know that these experiences are deeply personal and don’t necessarily reflect everyone’s reality here.

Mental health is another area that has been incredibly challenging. It hurts to see how minor issues can be blown out of proportion, while deeper, systemic struggles sometimes go unacknowledged. My heart still aches when I think of a close friend from UofT—a person who battled Bipolar Disorder and, in a moment of deep pain, tried to take his own life. I did everything I could to be there for him, only to be met with judgment from people who misunderstood my compassion. That experience reminded me just how critical it is to foster a kinder, more open conversation about mental health.

Even in the midst of these hardships, I’ve met many kind and understanding people. Their support gives me hope and reminds me that there’s more to any place than just its challenges. As I consider my future, the thought of relocating to places like Birmingham in the UK or Houston in the US is both daunting and hopeful—not because I despise Ontario, but because I need an environment where I can feel at peace with who I am.

Ultimately, my journey is filled with both pain and growth. By sharing these moments, I hope to contribute to a broader conversation that recognizes the complexity of our experiences—a mix of struggle and resilience, judgment and understanding, isolation and connection.


I know that this isn't the best site to talk about things like these, but I thought it will be important to share with you. Thanks for reading.