Going away or coming back?

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  • HASEROTHASEROT has returned like the tedious inevitability of an unloved season---
    Posts: 4,399
    agreed-gif-1.gif
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    edited November 2017 Posts: 24,172
    Thanks for agreeing, @haserot. :)

    I think @NicNac has made a very fair comment in the "moderating the forum" thread with regard to this suspiciously controversial given too.

    We're all in some ways people who simply want to "belong", regardless of how well we fit in. It's the social addiction of being a part of something rather than not, even if said "something" isn't necessarily the best place for that person to be. That's fine; it's a free internet after all. But trying to belong then comes with a price, i.e. not everything will be to one's liking. Take this forum for example. We have two sets of rules here:

    - the rules as dictated by our hosts, the admins, gently and reasonably liberally upheld by the mods;

    - the unwritten "rules", distilled from habits, past experiences and more or less unanimously agreed on by, for the most part, veteran members, but not mandated by amins or mods.

    The first set of rules causes few problems overall. They are generally accepted, considered fair and rather ubiquitous in the entire internet "forumsphere". It's the second set that creates problems. Say a new member isn't "housebroken" yet. He brings an attitude we aren't very used to getting. But say he breaks no official rules from the official rule book. Mods will then not whimsically ban the "new guy" simply because he plays Father, Son and Holy Spirit in discussions with veteran members. Now, I understand how off-putting that can be, but disliking someone's attitude isn't good enough cause for us to ban that someone. Saying he's a troll in your opinion, doesn't actually make him so. Being annoyed by a member's attitude is a common thing to happen in a medium like this; it most certainly doesn't warrant an instaban for that member. And far too often the argument originates in something as simple as disagreeing about Craig or SF or SP and truthfully, that's just not going to make us ban anyone. When two kids fight over whose dad is the coolest, you don't expel them from school either.

    We concede that there exists a very thin line where non-insults are used or at least interpreted as insults; where doing "nothing wrong" is done so often and with such arrogance, it's clearly meant to irritate and even infuriate others; where comments are written with a suspicious subtext that you can find if you are looking for it. This is, however, something that's hard to manage. Say we ban everyone who "may or may not" mean what they "may or may not" be saying, all of us could become targets; it'd be post-WWII repression all over again, where pointing a finger is enough, no matter how serious the accusations.

    People who continue to flag with the clearest of demands to ban a member they find irritating, and who then openly and arrogantly criticise the mods for not doing so and for either being blind, incompetent or "choosing sides", ought to re-asses their own position. Because right there and then, they themselves irritate, insult and verbally stalk mods who always think very hard before moving into action; right there and then, they themselves can't let go, can't give up, border on spamming, border on trolling. And yet to my knowledge, we have never banned any such members, even after being called incompetent or even "fascists". It's almost surprising how true, hardcore fascists like us, seem very forgiving towards those who blow off steam in our faces in ways that in real life might get them in serious trouble. I guess this contradiction renders their point invalid.

    And so, in the end, if you want to belong, fine, but understand that you are, like all of us, a guest in this house, and other people are too, even if it's obvious from the start that your opinions and theirs may never align. Understand also that mods ban when they have ample reason for it, and no sooner, and that the public section of this forum may only be aware of a few things that happened but not necessarily of the whole story. Therefore, the "why was this person banned and not that person?" frustration will always be duly noted but not necessarily met with swift action from the mods if we agree that there's no reason for it.

    And let's not forget that we're mostly talking about movies and not even about serious world problems. And even if we were, how sad is it, that we get so worked up over another person's opinions, we can't let go. It angers us. It's as if from behind our keyboards, we demand at least the virtual world to be "perfect", because real life isn't. Well, any social event, whether digital or not, comes with its dose of traps. You love something and someone else makes it very clear he or she doesn't, oops! You hate something, and somehow feel obliged to not just explain why but also spit vitriol and simultaneously embarrass those who do like that something, well, here too, oops. Because that's the nature of the beast. The mods aren't a substitute for the "delete" button you're not in possession of.

    And while we hate to see people go, and fortunately that happens not nearly as often as some have claimed in the past, sometimes taking a leave of absence from the forum is the best way to calm down, let the dust settle and think things through before coming back. In a personal note, over the past 12 years of membership, I have made friends and also enemies, I have written stuff that almost everyone agreed with and also things that made me a social pariah, I have received compliments and I have received backlash... but I still proudly call this my home. Because I know when detachment is due, I know when to skip the opportunity to post a comment in my own best interests and, lastly, I'm not addicted to the "like" button since I'm unfamiliar with that. You see, I'm not here to be liked, I'm not even here because I don't want to be disliked, but I am here because I like it here. And "here" is not my modship, nor just my good friends; "here" is all of us and "here" works exceptionally well, provided that people understand and accept one key thing: it's okay to be disagreed with...
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,249
    So... no 'like'button then?











    I'll get me coat







    And mods, still think you guys are doing a terriffic job!
  • MrcogginsMrcoggins Following in the footsteps of Quentin Quigley.
    Posts: 3,144
    Plus one from here.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    Hi, this is a serious note from me, as one of Jason's close friends. This post is an update for all members, about our friend Jason @BondJasonBond006.

    As some of you know privately, Jason has endured many tragedies in his life, and the past 18 months or so has been extremely difficult. He has had to deal with several deaths of people so very close to him. I will not go into many details here. But suffice to say, he has had far more than his share of sorrows and grief. His return to full-time Army career has been the one strong positive, and he has excelled and gotten promotions. However, I am writing today to let all of you know - as this forum was a great part of his life, with friends here, and something he truly enjoyed participating in - that Jason will not be able to return for some time.

    This past October and November he lost two family members within a few weeks. During this time, Jason suffered three heart attacks and underwent heart surgery. Jason is a strong survivor, with such a strong spirit. But please do not think that he will be returning in good form any time soon. It may be many long months. He will get better, and heal, but this will be a long recovery.

    Therefore, please feel free to send a private message to me with any questions. I will answer what I can, but out of respect for Jason and his family, I am not making all details public.

    I also want to say please do write a message to Jason - that would be great! Please send your messages to Brady @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7. He is collecting messages for Jason, which will be read to him when that is deemed appropriate by his doctors. Please do not expect a reply from Jason personally; he is a long way from being able to do that. But it would be wonderful for him to have your messages wishing him well.

    Thank you sincerely.
  • Andi1996RueggAndi1996Ruegg Hello. It's me, Evelyn Tremble.
    Posts: 2,005
    Thank you very much @4EverBonded

    Let me add, that when I got Jason from Zurich airport on September 20th, he was so totally a happy person after having spent 10 days with you in London. The whole London experience with meeting people and do many wonderful things have been such a highlight in his life, he talked endlessly about it for days. You're such a wonderful person 4Ever.

    And to @all thank you for being such a great bunch of people! That's certainly nothing to be taken for granted!
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    Thanks, Andi. I just am so grateful I had that time in London with Jason. It means a lot to me; more than I can say. You are really kind, and I'm thankful you are there looking out for Jason.
  • Posts: 16,153
    @4EverBonded -thanks for the update on Jason. I've been concerned as well as I've also developed a friendship with him thanks to MI6 and facebook. I certainly miss the fun chats I've had with him as I'm sure we all do and I hope his recovery is smooth.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    Thank you, @ToTheRight. I will update every now and then, but it won't be often unless there is substantial news. Thanks very much.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    He cannot access any social media. Andi is in charge of that page and he will get message to Jason later, when that is appropriate. Best idea is to get a message to Brady here.
  • ggl007ggl007 www.archivo007.com Spain, España
    Posts: 2,541
    Thanks, @4EverBonded Sorry to read this. I'll write something to Brady.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    Thank you, @ggl007.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited November 2017 Posts: 18,269
    Thank you for the update on Jason, @4EverBonded. I wish him a full and a speedy recovery. He was a great friend to me when I really needed him and I will not forget him.
  • Andi1996RueggAndi1996Ruegg Hello. It's me, Evelyn Tremble.
    Posts: 2,005
    I like to thank you all for your kind words. I certainly will see to it that Jason knows you are thinking of him.
    I will see him December 16th latest, when I am on leave from the army for a whole month.

    By mid-December Jase should be released from the hospital and start a new chapter in his life.

    As has been mentioned, I am having an eye on Jase's FB account and I am in contact with a few people for regular updates through my own Messenger account.

    As said, Brady will collect messages but if some of you would like to send a physical card or letter to Jase, you can. Give me a PM and I will give you Jase's home address. His mail gets redirected from our postal service to me at the army base I am staying. I will forward all mail to Jase personally. For the moment it's not possible to contact Jase directly but I am sure much later that will be an option. Of course we all hope he can return to writing on a computer eventually and possibly rejoin this community.

    I like to add that Jason is healing fine physically considering he had three heart attacks. We look upon this as a gift as most people wouldn't survive such a thing.
    Jason has a fit and strong body which has helped this matter tremendously.
    Getting completely well will take time though and at this point we all hope he can resume work sometime in 2018. His brain, memory, has been affected strongly, I think I can tell you this and you probably should know to understand the situation better.

    On a personal note; I will introduce myself properly in an appropriate thread later.

    Thank you again for being such a nice bunch of people! You have a great community here that is like a family from what I can tell.

    Best wishes, Andi.

  • stagstag In the thick of it!
    Posts: 1,053
    Hello all. I have been away from the forum for some time. It's been a tough few months for me. I have had neither the time nor inclination to even bother with my computer, let alone visit MI6. Things don't seem to be getting any better, but I thought I'd check in to have a scan through the site.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    I know the feeling, and sorry for your troubles. Some things just take a really long time to get through.
  • Posts: 19,339
    Keep your chin up @stag ...we will still be here for you when you are ready,matey !
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Sorry to hear @Stag . I hope you feel
    Better soon.
  • Agent_99Agent_99 enjoys a spirited ride as much as the next girl
    Posts: 3,176
    Wishing you all the best, @stag. I hope things get easier.
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,087
    @stag keep positive things do improve with time
  • stagstag In the thick of it!
    Posts: 1,053
    Birdleson wrote: »
    Real life sucks, that's no news.thats why we're here.

    Real life certainly does suck. that said there are different degrees of 'suckiness'. I'm not sure where you'd place watching your partner, the love of your life, die horribly in front of you and, despite your best efforts, not being able to do a thing to stop them slipping away. I guess it's only news to me, but it's not the reason I'm here.

    My only solace is the fact that she is no longer suffering.
  • stagstag In the thick of it!
    Posts: 1,053
    BTW, thanks to everyone for their comments.
  • DragonpolDragonpol https://thebondologistblog.blogspot.com
    edited December 2017 Posts: 18,269
    So sorry for your loss, @stag. I missed you. Please PM me at any time if I can be of any help. Even just for a chat. I brought you on board here, and I'll be here for you all the way.

    D.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,249
    My condolences @stag! It's a terrible ordeal. I wish you all the consolation you need.
  • stagstag In the thick of it!
    Posts: 1,053
    Thank you all for your comments.

    @Birdleson. No need to apologise, but thanks anyway. You didn't know the details.

    @Dragonpol. Indeed, it was you who introduced me to this site. I didn't even know it existed before you invited me to join. It's far better than the other place on every level. You know why I was unfairly dismissed and the detail lied about. Anyway, it all worked out for the best, as I feel MI6 is the real home of the James Bond enthusiast.
  • Posts: 12,466
    @stag I'm very sorry for your recent circumstances. Life can be just horrible; I'm quite sick of my own lately and how bad things have been in my house. This site is one great outlet that helps me talk to other Bond enthusiasts and get away from that bad stuff for a while, and it definitely beats nothing.

    If you feel you should take a break then I understand. I did occasionally as well, but I always came back because personally the site helps me a bit. Occasionally things can get ugly when there's a misunderstanding or argument here. But it definitely has been more good than bad for me and I think most others here. If you ever want to PM me or need any kind of emotional support, I'll do my best to be here for you. Life is far too much to deal with on one's own. You'll be in my thoughts and I have nothing but best wishes for you.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    This place is good for some distraction when life is rough.

    It also has some smart people who know about life. (No, I am not talking about those of you who describe yourselves as such).
  • Mendes4LyfeMendes4Lyfe The long road ahead
    Posts: 8,395
    This place is good for some distraction when life is rough.

    It also has some smart people who know about life. (No, I am not talking about those of you who describe yourselves as such).

    Phew, I'm off the hook. :/
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    You were never on that hook.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Wez are all smartz.
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