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All the Bond actors in a fight - who wins?

GetafixGetafix
edited January 2012 in Actors Posts: 11,425
My money is on Sean or Lazer, but you could imagine Brozza playing some dirty trick and biting or something.
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Comments

  • GermanladyGermanlady
    Posts: 6,601
    What i always wanted to know, why is Sean considered to be so muscular. I can't see it - he is broad, has a nice chest, but nothing exciting and his arms are even less spectacular. I like him, very handsome man, but his body sure is overrated.

    *runs for cover*
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    I think the top 3 would be Laz, Connery and Craig.
  • Samuel001Samuel001 Moderator
    edited January 2012 Posts: 13,356
    BAIN123 wrote:
    I think the top 3 would be Laz, Connery and Craig.

    Indeed. Those are the top three. Brosnan would be last with Moore fifth and Dalton fourth.
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Great post germanlady. I think this forum could benefit from a few more female contributors.

    Any way, he was a body builder, so he must have been a bit muscular!

    I think the standards were a bit different back then as well. Back then guys could get away with a bit of a paunch and a hairy back. These days it's shaved and buffed to an inch of your life. Or at least, I imagine it is if you're DC.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Broz used to play Rugby and is quite agile. Moore had a lot of operations and was quite sickly as a youngster so I have a feeling Brozza would edge it slightly.
  • GermanladyGermanlady
    Posts: 6,601
    Getafix wrote:
    I think the standards were a bit different back then as well. Back then guys could get away with a bit of a paunch and a hairy back. These days it's shaved and buffed to an inch of your life. Or at least, I imagine it is if you're DC.

    I agree, those days were different and most actors didn't make it a common thing to be buff. They didn't go to the gym that much and yes, for his days, he was good, though not great. Think Charlton Heston, now THAT was a body...

  • GetafixGetafix
    edited January 2012 Posts: 11,425
    Rog v Brozza - it would be a proper Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fight that one - lots of pulling, gurning and pain faces.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Lets see: Sean would beat up all the Bonds but Craig. After that, the Connery Bond v.s. Craig Bond fight would be intense. Roger would brake a nail two minutes in, then tap in his ever so reliable stunt double. Laz would be third methinks, with Dalton v.s. Brosnana a toss up. My money is on Dalton. But all in all, it would be Connery and Craig in the final fight.
  • GetafixGetafix
    edited January 2012 Posts: 11,425
    Of all the Bonds, Sean was the most likely to rely on back-up I reckon (thinking of all those Ninjas in YOLT), so he might play dirty and call in his Glaswegian mates to help out, in which case it would be Connery win for certain.

    In reality though I'm sure Lazer would win. Ozzies love fights even more than Glaswegians.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Getafix wrote:
    Of all the Bonds, Sean was the most likely to rely on back-up I reckon (thinking all those Ninjas in YOLT), so he might play dirty and call in his Glaswegian mates to help out, in which case it would be Connery win for certain.

    In reality though I'm sure Lazer would win. Ozzies love fights even more than Glaswegians.

    Why would Sean need back-up? Nothing about his Bond archetype shows that. Rog would get laid out even if he had the entire British Navy on his side.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    Brozza could use his invisible car and run them all down ;)
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    Posts: 6,432
    I think lazenby, he made a few martial arts movie's post bond of varying quality Lol
  • GetafixGetafix
    edited January 2012 Posts: 11,425
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Getafix wrote:
    Of all the Bonds, Sean was the most likely to rely on back-up I reckon (thinking all those Ninjas in YOLT), so he might play dirty and call in his Glaswegian mates to help out, in which case it would be Connery win for certain.

    In reality though I'm sure Lazer would win. Ozzies love fights even more than Glaswegians.

    Why would Sean need back-up? Nothing about his Bond archetype shows that. Rog would get laid out even if he had the entire British Navy on his side.

    I agree - Rog would get laid. Moore. But I don't think he'd want the Navy involved. Although, you never know...
  • Master_DaharkMaster_Dahark
    Posts: 4,813
    Are we talking real-life or as James Bond?
    If it's real life, I'd put my money on Lazenby, no doubt. He was a combat instructor in the Australian Army and a genuine badass. He also trained under none other than Bruce Lee and was a close enough friend to be one of the Pallbearers at his funeral.

    George would handle any of the Bond's. TODAY even!
    :-))
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    I think Lazer wins out in real life and as Bond. He just looks tough.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Master_Dahark wrote:
    Are we talking real-life or as James Bond?
    If it's real life, I'd put my money on Lazenby, no doubt. He was a combat instructor in the Australian Army and a genuine badass. He also trained under none other than Bruce Lee and was a close enough friend to be one of the Pallbearers at his funeral.

    George would handle any of the Bond's. TODAY even!
    :-))

    The Bruce Lee bit isn't true.
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    Posts: 6,432
    Lazenby was set to appear in game of death before the untimely death of lee.
  • GeorgeLazenbyGeorgeLazenby
    Posts: 295
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Master_Dahark wrote:
    Are we talking real-life or as James Bond?
    If it's real life, I'd put my money on Lazenby, no doubt. He was a combat instructor in the Australian Army and a genuine badass. He also trained under none other than Bruce Lee and was a close enough friend to be one of the Pallbearers at his funeral.

    George would handle any of the Bond's. TODAY even!
    :-))

    The Bruce Lee bit isn't true.

    Yes it is.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    GeorgeLazenby wrote:
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Master_Dahark wrote:
    Are we talking real-life or as James Bond?
    If it's real life, I'd put my money on Lazenby, no doubt. He was a combat instructor in the Australian Army and a genuine badass. He also trained under none other than Bruce Lee and was a close enough friend to be one of the Pallbearers at his funeral.

    George would handle any of the Bond's. TODAY even!
    :-))

    The Bruce Lee bit isn't true.

    Yes it is.

    according to @jaguar who spoke to GL it isn't.
  • 00Beast00Beast
    Posts: 4,762
    Well, even though I like Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan the best, I'm not so sure that either of them would win in a fight against the other Bonds. Brosnan had his share of good fights, namely the one against 006 in GE and the one against Carver's thugs in the printing press of TND. Moore had his, namely the one against Tee Hee in LALD, the thugs in Saida's dressing room in TMWTGG, Ivan and Boris in TSWLM, and Zorin in AVTAK. Still, I think that either Connery or Craig would win the fight. Brutal fights like the ones against Red Grant, Colonel Boitier, Largo, Hans, Osato's driver, Obanno, and Greene are some of the series' best for sure.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    I think it has to be Craig i think? His fight scene's come across alot more brutal!
  • Master_DaharkMaster_Dahark
    edited January 2012 Posts: 4,813
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Master_Dahark wrote:
    Are we talking real-life or as James Bond?
    If it's real life, I'd put my money on Lazenby, no doubt. He was a combat instructor in the Australian Army and a genuine badass. He also trained under none other than Bruce Lee and was a close enough friend to be one of the Pallbearers at his funeral.

    George would handle any of the Bond's. TODAY even!
    :-))

    The Bruce Lee bit isn't true.

    If you mean the Pallbearer part, I saw video-- it was a Lee documentary and the narrator said said something to the tune of ' Lee was joined by a number of celebrities, including former James Bond George Lazenby...'
    He didn't look like Bond though-- he had long hair and a beard, which actually suited him!

    James Coburn, George Lazenby, Steve McQueen and Chuck Norris were all pallbearers in fact!

    Also apart from Game of Death, there was an even bigger project called 'Shrine of Ultimate Bliss' (kind of a cheesy title, lol) which would have had Lee, Lazenby, and Sonny Shiba (most people today might only know him from Kill Bill, but in the 70's he was known as 'the Japanese counterpart to Bruce Lee')
  • OHMSS69OHMSS69
    edited January 2012 Posts: 2,341
    Getafix wrote:
    My money is on Sean or Lazer, but you could imagine Brozza playing some dirty trick and biting or something.

    Moore and Brosnan would be eliminated first...

    Lazenby would win in a one on one with Sean in the finale.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited January 2012 Posts: 2,629
    Moore would outwit Brosnan and pieface him with the help of a couple of schoolgirls.

    Dalton would wait for Moore to break his hip and then set Moore on fire.

    Lazenby uses all the time in the world and goes Bruce Lee on Dalton.

    Connery thinks he hears Lazenby say 007 and punches Lazenby in the stomach in a train compartment.

    Craig chases Connery through a construction site and an airport runway before Connery captures Craig in a warehouse. Connery tortures Craig before Rachel comes in and shoots Connery.

    Daniel Craig is your winner.
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    edited January 2012 Posts: 1,778
    This is how I see the fight going down.

    All six men are standing across from eachother. Brosnan starting whining and wincing about how he isn't getting paid enough for this and promises to publicly complain about this event for years to come.

    Lazenby says "May I gentlemen"?.

    Connery- "Indeed old boy"

    Moore- "Yes please be a helpful chap"

    Dalton- "The bastard's been getting on my nerves"

    Craig- "Yes. Considerably".

    Lazenby quickly kills Brosnan.

    Moore- "Well that's one dead body he won't be able to snuggle with".

    The Bond's begin fighting. Connery and Moore form a alliance (as the two are close friends). But it's short lived. Connery begins pounding on Moore and until Moore uses his trump card. Moore's stunt-double appears out of nowhere and the two begin double teaming Connery. The other Bond's take offense to this and quickly even the odds. They all grab Moore and split him in half.

    Moore- "Who says you can't be in two places at once"?

    Moore dies. Dalton isn't much of a fighter and takes a bad beating from Craig. He's gets badly bloodied (like he always did) and eventually gets stabbed in the leg with a knife. Craig lets him bleed out. Dalton is elimated. It's down to Connery, Lazenby, and Craig.

    Connery although legendary is simply not built as strong as the other two (as a previous poster said). Lazenby's martial arts skills mixed with Craig's body is too much for him to handle. Connery goes down fighting and dies an honorable death. Craig and Lazenby stop for a moment of silence.

    Craig- "A great man".

    Lazenby- "Yes I agree. I suppose it did happen to the other fella"

    Craig picks up Connery's corpse and gently places it in a dumpster. He takes the money out of his wallet.

    Lazenby- "Is that how you treat your friends"?

    Craig- "He wouldn't care"

    The two remaining Bond's begin having a fight for the ages. Lazenby has his fighting experience and Craig's brute streangth is simply over-powering him.

    Craig- "You're not even a real actor. You disgust me. You made you're fortune off marrying and then divorcing rich women".

    Lazenby- "Ofcourse we're James Bonds remember".

    Craig- "Yes I suppose you're right"

    The two battle it out until both are bloodied and barely able to stand. They both land crippling punches at the same time. As both struggle to make it to their feet Lazenby channels the spirit of Bruce Lee and delivers a fatal kick to the back to Craig's neck.

    Your winner: George Lazenby

    The crowd doesn't cheer all that much as alot of them don't really know who he is but nevertheless this is truly redemption for Lazenby.

    Lazenby- "I just want to say that my opponents all had alotta guts but simply weren't up to par. Now yours truly has all the time in the world to gloat about this.

    Audience member 1- "Who is that guy?".

    Audience member 2- "I don't know. I thought he was the ref".

    Lazenby- "And as far as a comeback for Bond 24 goes seeing as how my fellow Bonds have all been branched off, never say never".

    EON then sues for this reference to a non official Bond film.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    I honestly don't know where to begin with this, Bond actors in a fight, I have a hard time even envisaging such an event actually

    There's fighters, pugilist types, brawlers and then there's wrestlers, more than one way to win a fight after all

    I can't put Moore as a plausible contestant, he was bad enough in his films, Lazenby doesn't really strike me (no pun intentional) as the brawling type, Connery seems best suited here, Dalton, same as with Lazenby, not really one for pugilistic prowess, Brosnan would most likely hide behind a Trash Can with a shield over his head screaming 'not the face', while the battle was underway or worry about getting a hair out of place so we can discount him, and Craig also seems a plausible winner here, but I'm going for a Connery pre 1965 as the overall winner for this here event
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    Posts: 6,432
    Lol i always found that brosnan looked surprised that he had been involved in a fight playing bond.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    One of the most hilarious Brosnan fights for me is when he gets interrogated by Carver's heavies in Hamburg in a back room early in Tomorrow Never Dies, and there's about a half dozen overweight fat balding types throwing fists about and it's one of the most god awful fight scenes I can remember of the series, people go through windows and some fat old guy has an ashtray crashed over his head, Brosnan weighs it up in his hand and just walks over and breaks it over this guys head on his cell phone- 'Stamper er, Stamper, er, Crash', it's a fun few minutes on an otherwise major letdown of a film
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    Posts: 6,432
    There is also the scene in the newspaper printing factory where he fights a few people who have presumably been walking by in the street and offered the job of fighting pierce. 'they will print anything these days' groan Lol
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    Posts: 1,778
    Baltimore_007 wrote:
    One of the most hilarious Brosnan fights for me is when he gets interrogated by Carver's heavies in Hamburg in a back room early in Tomorrow Never Dies, and there's about a half dozen overweight fat balding types throwing fists about and it's one of the most god awful fight scenes I can remember of the series, people go through windows and some fat old guy has an ashtray crashed over his head, Brosnan weighs it up in his hand and just walks over and breaks it over this guys head on his cell phone- 'Stamper er, Stamper, er, Crash', it's a fun few minutes on an otherwise major letdown of a film

    They really were Carver's "heavies". Lol. You'd Carver could hire some more fit thugs. That scene was pretty hilarious.
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