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All the Bond actors in a fight - who wins?

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  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    They should take turns to sit on greasy poles above water tanks and belt each other with pillows to sort this out

    Or perhaps a 'bucking bronco' contest would be better, whoever stays on the longest gets to win. Simples
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    Baltimore_007 wrote:
    They should take turns to sit on greasy poles above water tanks and belt each other with pillows to sort this out

    I think that would be more suitable for a Bond Girl fight.
  • identigraphidentigraph
    Posts: 1,052
    It's well documented that Rog used to throw a pretty hard punch and the whole Lee Marvin thing started when Marvin thought the fight scene was actually a real fight, so Moore knocked him out. Who knows who would actually win in a real fight, what is on screen bears no resemblance to real life punch up!

    At least Rog could drink them all under the table!
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Rog would charm them into submission.
  • QsAssistantQsAssistant All those moments lost in time... like tears in rain
    Posts: 1,812
    Getafix wrote:
    My money is on Sean or Lazer, but you could imagine Brozza playing some dirty trick and biting or something.

    I assume we're talking about a fist fight. If so then Craig hands down!
    If we're not talking about a fist fight then...

    Connery would out charm the others
    Lazenby would just be forgotten *ducks for cover*
    Moore would out shag them X_X
    Dalton would be more mysterious and dark
    Brosnan would get too attached to someone
  • 00Beast00Beast
    Posts: 4,762
    Round 1: After a great, brutal battle, Roger Moore gets a view to a knock-out
    Round 2: It's down to five, but unfortunately, Timothy Dalton loses his place, getting the living daylights knocked out of him
    Round 3: It's a four-way, and Pierce Brosnan fisticuffs just aren't enough
    Round 4: It's getting close, but Sean Connery only stays conscious once
    Round 5: Lazenby vs. Craig, and after a few minutes of brutal punches, Lazenby resigns from her majesty's secret service, leaving Craig as the winner!
  • fire_and_icefire_and_ice
    Posts: 6,432
    Roger turns a aerosol into a flame thrower, then sets brosnans hair on fire. pierce proceeds to drown in his own sweat. roger then gets distracted by solitiar and gets disqualified by a count out. dalton sky dives and lands on craig, though bounces off. craig start's free running circles round dalton who faints. connery disguised as a japanese fisherman challenges craig to a one liner contest, craig collapses from exhaustion and lack of charm. george slides into the back of connery in a toboggan knocking him into a man hole, connery manages to grab georges leg and pulls him down with him. the ultimate face off who will win! roger moore appears with holly goodhead arm in arm and challenges george and sean to do a convincing english accent face off. after several weeks its still a stale mate peter hunt instructs george to lip syncs to george baker who happened to be passing by. george rips off seans japanese wig and chokes him with it. after this victory due to bad advice from his agent and his ego going through the roof, he accidentally swallows a shark pellet and his head explodes.
  • timmertimmer
    Posts: 4,622
    Sean or George win the fights. They had real-life fighting skills. Sean even punched out a mafia-guy that was bothering Lana Turner. George had martial-arts training.

    The other 4 are just actors.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    edited January 2012 Posts: 13,999
    Dalton wins by:

    - Pulling Connerys wig off, stuffing it in his mouth and smothering him with it.
    - Headbutting Lazenby to stun him, then setting him on fire.
    - Waiting for Moores hip to give in, and throwing him out of the colosseum.
    - Mess up Brosnans hair.... that's all that's needed to remove Brosnan from the fight.
    - Waiting for Craig to start pouting (it's inevitable) then launch him into orbit.
  • timmertimmer
    Posts: 4,622
    MajorDSmythe wrote:
    Dalton wins by:

    - Pulling Connerys wig off, stuffing it in his mouth and smothering him with it.
    - Headbutting Lazenby to stun him, then setting him on fire.
    - Waiting for Moores hip to give in, and throwing him out of the colosseum.
    - Mess up Brosnans hair.... that's all that's needed to remove Brosnan from the fight.
    - Waiting for Craig to start pouting (it's inevitable) then launch him into orbit.


    :)) That's one way Dalts could get the drop on both Sean and George. The other three. No problem.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    MajorDSmythe wrote:
    Dalton wins by:

    - Pulling Connerys wig off, stuffing it in his mouth and smothering him with it.
    - Headbutting Lazenby to stun him, then setting him on fire.
    - Waiting for Moores hip to give in, and throwing him out of the colosseum.
    - Mess up Brosnans hair.... that's all that's needed to remove Brosnan from the fight.
    - Waiting for Craig to start pouting (it's inevitable) then launch him into orbit.

    As much as I like Dalton I doubt he would emerge victorious. All someone would have to do is recite Shakespeare to him and he'd be distracted - allowing Connery, Lazenby and Craig to pummel him. ;)
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,999
    BAIN123 wrote:
    MajorDSmythe wrote:
    Dalton wins by:

    - Pulling Connerys wig off, stuffing it in his mouth and smothering him with it.
    - Headbutting Lazenby to stun him, then setting him on fire.
    - Waiting for Moores hip to give in, and throwing him out of the colosseum.
    - Mess up Brosnans hair.... that's all that's needed to remove Brosnan from the fight.
    - Waiting for Craig to start pouting (it's inevitable) then launch him into orbit.

    As much as I like Dalton I doubt he would emerge victorious. All someone would have to do is recite Shakespeare to him and he'd be distracted - allowing Connery, Lazenby and Craig to pummel him. ;)

    Nah, I like my outcome better. :D
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited January 2012 Posts: 11,189
    Brozza would just shout "Maybe you shouldn't be living HEEEEERREE" at the top of his voice and that would disable everybody all in one go.

    Brosnan wins ;)

    Christmas can come twice a year after all.
  • The_ReaperThe_Reaper
    Posts: 1,092
    Connery. Nobody messes with a Scotsman.
  • bondsumbondsum
    edited February 2012 Posts: 3,333
    Not too sure on this one. Both Connery and Lazenby aren't afraid of using their fists and have knocked many people out for the count in real life. If we're talking a young Connery then my money would be on him. As for Craig, I recall he wasn't afraid of getting psychical with drunks in a bar he used to work in, and was known for being quite tough in those days. Not many drinkers messed with Craig and I know I didn't... but would he beat a fit and younger Connery or Lazenby. I doubt it.
  • WVPoefWVPoef
    Posts: 147
    1. Lazenby
    2. Craig
    3. Connery
    4. Dalton
    5. Moore

    And miles behind the rest

    6. Brosnan
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Brozza wins by pain-facing the others into fits of laughter.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    As of this moment

    #1 Craig
    #2 Lazenby
    #3 Dalton
    #4 Connery
    # 5 Brosnan
    #6 Moore
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Dalton above Connery... :))
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    Dalton didn't get beat up by a couple of lightweight ladies though, be fair
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Baltimore_007 wrote:
    Dalton didn't get beat up by a couple of lightweight ladies though, be fair

    Those ladies were scary. And Sean was a bit past it by then.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Baltimore_007 wrote:
    Dalton didn't get beat up by a couple of lightweight ladies though, be fair

    That's the script's fault. DAF is a travesty and shouldn't have even had Sean in it.
  • wildboonjivewildboonjive
    Posts: 299
    I think Craig wins, perhaps by the sheer nature of his physique. None of the others look that strong. But I'll place Lazenby second and Dalton third.
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    wildboonjive wrote:
    I think Craig wins, perhaps by the sheer nature of his physique. None of the others look that strong. But I'll place Lazenby second and Dalton third.

    A six pack is no indication of being able to handle yourself in a fight - quite possible the opposite is true.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    I want to see more Bond/women encounters and battles in the series for sure. We had the aforementioned Bambi and Thumper tussle in Diamonds, Brosnan and Onatopp in Goldeneye, there was, for a moment, a chance of Moore and Grace Jones going at it in AVTAK before that idea was 'washed away', pity really, as that would of been something worth seeing. Even Connery and Blackman had a bit of a go in the barn, but that was all light hearted fun and nothing serious. I would of liked to have seen ex WWE star Chyna in one of the Bond movies as an adversary and having a tussle with Brosnan when she was at her peak, late 1990s etc. I would of jumped at the chance to see something like that seriously
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Bond likes his women submissive and easily slapped!
  • wildboonjivewildboonjive
    Posts: 299
    Getafix wrote:
    wildboonjive wrote:
    I think Craig wins, perhaps by the sheer nature of his physique. None of the others look that strong. But I'll place Lazenby second and Dalton third.

    A six pack is no indication of being able to handle yourself in a fight - quite possible the opposite is true.

    True. But based strictly on his brutal aggression and ability to survive in encounters like the staircase scene in CR and most of his fights in QoS, I'd say there's more to him than just the six pack. He's a survivor against all odds, and that's a bit of an edge.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    But I want to see Bond being submissive and slapped around (by ladies) - even if I'm in the minority on that

    We could get Beth Pheonix or April Hunter involved and kick Bond's ass for the next release - if I was Bond, i'd probably sit back and let them do it too :P
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Baltimore_007 wrote:
    But I want to see Bond being submissive and slapped around (by ladies) - even if I'm in the minority on that

    We could get Beth Pheonix or April Hunter involved and kick Bond's ass for the next release - if I was Bond, i'd probably sit back and let them do it too :P

    I think you are projecting too much of your own particular tastes here... not sure this is right for Bond.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    Maybe I was thinking a bit of both, but people complain when Bond slaps around women in the series or gets a bit aggresive, but do it vice versa and have Bond on the receiving end from said women and it's simply not as big an issue. Maybe I was watching too much WWE at some point in time and thought it was a good idea, but maybe you're right, there is no place for such a thing in Bond, they tried it before, it didn't work, so maybe they should just leave it at that
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