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What if James Bond would be female?

W_PPKW_PPK
edited March 2012 in Fan Creations Posts: 172
Quite strange question, but... let's discuss.
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  • TonyEbikTonyEbik
    Posts: 127
    If James Bond was Jane Bond (hahah sorry couldnt resist) hmm - it could work, but not sure it would have done back then. saying that no one thought bond would catch on...look it now!
  • echoecho 007 in New York
    Posts: 6,304
    Jinx, you say?
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    edited March 2012 Posts: 14,582
    What if James Bond were female?

    1) Then I'd want to be a Bond boy.

    2) Then I'd like to see the fake nipple scene in TMWTGG re-enacted.

    3) Then we'd have characters like 'Penis Galore'- and I definitely don't care to see that.

    4) It quite simply wouldn't work, because Bond needs to know how to drive (see what I did there?)

    j/k
  • W_PPKW_PPK
    Posts: 172
    echo wrote:
    Jinx, you say?

    Not Jinx.
    Just Jane Bond :D
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Pointless argument. Fleming didn't write Bond as a woman, so it shant be so.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    The name would change for a start! ;) And it would be the end of the Tuxedo! :-((
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    RogueAgent wrote:
    The name would change for a start! ;) And it would be the end of the Tuxedo! :-((

    These are the times where we are happy of Fleming's misogynism.
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent
    Posts: 12,526
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    RogueAgent wrote:
    The name would change for a start! ;) And it would be the end of the Tuxedo! :-((

    These are the times where we are happy of Fleming's misogynism.

    Oh yes!
  • LeChiffreLeChiffre
    Posts: 1,548
    NO.NO,NO!!!!
  • DB5DB5
    Posts: 408
    What if the sky was green? What if pigs could fly? But seriously, Fleming wrote CR in 1953, before the birth control pill was invented. With all the sex that Bond has, wouldn't she eventually get pregnant?
  • SaintMarkSaintMark
    Posts: 7,653
    Well if some folks get what they want, 007 better not shag an American lass she might not have any preventive measures. O:-)

    I once saw a green sky and the storm that followed was not too pleasant.

    And flying pigs, saves money upon delivering them porker to the slaughterhouse.

    Jane Bond would have been little or no memory from the past.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,183
    W_PPK wrote:
    Quite strange question, but... let's discuss.

    Hard topic to discuss. James Bond would never be female, period.
  • X3MSonicXX3MSonicX https://www.behance.net/gallery/86760163/Fa-Posteres-de-007-No-Time-To-Die
    Posts: 2,635
    Maybe ANOTHER series BASED on Bond. but a Female Bond would suck a lot. :/
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    X3MSonicX wrote:
    Maybe ANOTHER series BASED on Bond. but a Female Bond would suck a lot. :/

    For Bond, yes. But for other shows, no. I highly recommend Covert Affairs. Brilliant series going strong into its third season.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,183
    X3MSonicX wrote:
    Maybe ANOTHER series BASED on Bond. but a Female Bond would suck a lot. :/

    Let's not go there ;-).
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    Posts: 12,837
    I'm fine with bond changing appearence. I'm fine with a blonde bond, a black bond, a curly haired bond, but a woman???

    There's changing how a character looks, then there's completely changing the character. James bond is a british MAN who works for MI6, sleeps with alot of different WOMEN and saves the world. And that's the way it should stay.
  • RossiRossi
    edited March 2012 Posts: 157
    X3MSonicX wrote:
    Maybe ANOTHER series BASED on Bond. but a Female Bond would suck a lot. :/

    "A Female Bond would suck a lot". Interesting. ;)
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    edited March 2012 Posts: 16,351
    What about Alias? I considered her to be a Female James Bond/Ethan Hunt type. Heck it even had ole Rog was in it as an old spy.
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    Posts: 12,837
    Rossi wrote:
    X3MSonicX wrote:
    Maybe ANOTHER series BASED on Bond. but a Female Bond would suck a lot. :/

    "A Female Bond would suck a lot". Interesting. ;)

    :D
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,183
    If she were to meet a male Dr Goodhead, we're in for a treat... Mr Deepvoice will have to conclude the trailer saying 'rated XXX for offensive imagery of sexual nature'.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    DB5 wrote:
    With all the sex that Bond has, wouldn't she eventually get pregnant?

    I'm still trying to figure out how the male Bond doesn't have at least a couple hundred illegitimate children after fifty years of unprotected sex (sixty if you start in the 50s with the books).
  • SirCLMDBCRaigSirCLMDBCRaig
    edited March 2012 Posts: 205
    What if james bond would be feline?
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    Posts: 12,837
    Agent007391 wrote:
    DB5 wrote:
    With all the sex that Bond has, wouldn't she eventually get pregnant?

    I'm still trying to figure out how the male Bond doesn't have at least a couple hundred illegitimate children after fifty years of unprotected sex (sixty if you start in the 50s with the books).

    Not to mention how he seems to be immune to every STD on the planet.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 13,978
    thelivingroyale wrote:
    Agent007391 wrote:
    DB5 wrote:
    With all the sex that Bond has, wouldn't she eventually get pregnant?

    I'm still trying to figure out how the male Bond doesn't have at least a couple hundred illegitimate children after fifty years of unprotected sex (sixty if you start in the 50s with the books).

    Not to mention how he seems to be immune to every STD on the planet.

    Well if you listen to the naysayers, then Daltons Bond should be fine. :-\"
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited March 2012 Posts: 15,718
    What would the male audience of the 1960's say where Jane 007 would be the strong sex of the films ? And what would they think of Jane the prostitute, falling to the charm of men?

    It would be interesting - Jane would demonstrate that women are the strong sex (would cause an uproar in the 60's) where she plays the men and sleeps with them at her own will... but at the same time she's be like a prostitute as she'd be the one falling for the charm of the men... imagine TWINE with Jane Bond ? She's be the strong sex next to the male Christmas Jones, but the prostitute next to the male Elektra King. If Jane slept with male Elektra, she'd be called a wh*re who only thinks of sex... and if the played with the emotions of male Christmas in order to make him fall in love with her, she'd be the strong sex.

    I think the 'sex' part of the Bond films work best with a male Bond.

    Sorry if my point isn't clear - don't know how to formulate it well....
  • TonyEbikTonyEbik
    Posts: 127
    I've got it!
    "No pay attention 007, this is no ordinary bra, the underwire doubles as a bomb...I call it the wonder bra!" hahaha - poor attempt i know but that would be funny! Would Q be Q'tte?
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited March 2012 Posts: 15,718
    You'd need a male Moneypenny, and of course only female M's - the feminist wouldn't want their ultimate hero to take orders from a man !!
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    MajorDSmythe wrote:
    thelivingroyale wrote:
    Agent007391 wrote:
    DB5 wrote:
    With all the sex that Bond has, wouldn't she eventually get pregnant?

    I'm still trying to figure out how the male Bond doesn't have at least a couple hundred illegitimate children after fifty years of unprotected sex (sixty if you start in the 50s with the books).

    Not to mention how he seems to be immune to every STD on the planet.

    Well if you listen to the naysayers, then Daltons Bond should be fine. :-\"

    Did Dalton use protection?
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    edited March 2012 Posts: 24,183
    Come now. A man who has explosive toothpaste certainly must have other forms of protection on him, wouldn't you agree?

    The female Bond could wire herself to a machine that warns: "You have incoming male!" ;-)
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited March 2012 Posts: 15,718
    The butt-slap in GF would have to be done on a young teenage boy who was giving Jane her massage... no way a woman giving a butt-slap to a male adult would be credible.

    What could be the female equivalent of the Q-Bond exchange 'Balls Q?' 'Bolas 007......' ???
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