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DUD vs The Phantom Menace vs Indiana Jones 4

GetafixGetafix
edited May 2012 in Bond Movies Posts: 11,425
A three-way slug fest between three of the worst movies of all time. My money is on Darth Brosnan to fence his way to victory, after using his pain-face to defeat those mysterious Crytal Skulls.
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Comments

  • Signed_By_RogerMooreSigned_By_RogerMoore
    Posts: 643
    I love all three series

    DAD is the worst James Bond film of all time.
    Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the worst Indiana Jones film of all time.
    The Phantom Menace, imo, isn't the worst Star Wars film in the series. That honour goes to Attack of the Clones, sruely?

    But to order them (1 being terrible, 3 being not so terrible)

    3: The Phantom Menace
    2. Die Another Day
    1. Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    Poor old DUD. Can't even win a battle of the worst movies competition. Tamahori should have tried harder!
  • Pierce2DanielPierce2Daniel
    Posts: 4,410
    DAD has a cracking opening first act, things go down hill after the scenes in Cuba. The scene between M and Frost is actually the last good thing about it, then it descends into the awful. Up to that scene DAD is actually fantastic spin on the Bond formula - making the pre-credits/main-titles integral to the overall plot of the film, Bond's torture, his eventual hand-over and how Mi6 refuse to trust he hasn't broken his silence, Bond going rogue to get revenge, Halle Berry in a bikini!, Raoul in Cuba.

    I think your selling DAD a bit down the river here, I hold it in higher regard than the more episodic Bond movies like LALD or TND.
  • GetafixGetafix
    edited May 2012 Posts: 11,425
    Pierce2Daniel wrote:
    DAD has a cracking opening first act, things go down hill after the scenes in Cuba. The scene between M and Frost is actually the last good thing about it, then it descends into the awful. Up to that scene DAD is actually fantastic spin on the Bond formula - making the pre-credits/main-titles integral to the overall plot of the film, Bond's torture, his eventual hand-over and how Mi6 refuse to trust he hasn't broken his silence, Bond going rogue to get revenge, Halle Berry in a bikini!, Raoul in Cuba.

    I think your selling DAD a bit down the river here, I hold it in higher regard than the more episodic Bond movies like LALD or TND.

    I think we need another film where Bond goes rogue - they haven't done that enough recently.

    What I particularly like about DUD is the whole idea of Bond being taken prisoner and not being able to escape and MI6 holding him in such low regard that they're not really interested in having him back and don't trust him AT ALL when he is released. Genius. Pure classic Bond from start to finish.

    Come to think of it, I don't trust Bond either. He's gone rogue so many times now that he should have been sacked/imprisoned by now. As M says in LTK, MI6 is not a country club!
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    Posts: 1,778
    Indiana Jones 4 was easily the best. It's a pretty damn good movie before Shia LaBeouf shows up and kills every scene he's in. And there are definatly certain parts I liked overall.
  • Signed_By_RogerMooreSigned_By_RogerMoore
    Posts: 643
    Getafix wrote:
    Pierce2Daniel wrote:
    DAD has a cracking opening first act, things go down hill after the scenes in Cuba. The scene between M and Frost is actually the last good thing about it, then it descends into the awful. Up to that scene DAD is actually fantastic spin on the Bond formula - making the pre-credits/main-titles integral to the overall plot of the film, Bond's torture, his eventual hand-over and how Mi6 refuse to trust he hasn't broken his silence, Bond going rogue to get revenge, Halle Berry in a bikini!, Raoul in Cuba.

    I think your selling DAD a bit down the river here, I hold it in higher regard than the more episodic Bond movies like LALD or TND.

    I think we need another film where Bond goes rogue - they haven't done that enough recently.

    What I particularly like about DUD is the whole idea of Bond being taken prisoner and not being able to escape and MI6 holding him in such low regard that they're not really interested in having him back and don't trust him AT ALL when he is released. Genius. Pure classic Bond from start to finish.

    Come to think of it, I don't trust Bond either. He's gone rogue so many times now that he should have been sacked/imprisoned by now. As M says in LTK, MI6 is not a country club!

    He went rogue 'with permission' in Moonraker...dear old Bernard Lee, giving him leave so Bond can do what he wants without it being traced back to MI6. Just let Bond get on with it...take note Dench
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,359
    Die Another Day isn't that horrible. like mentioned above Great PTS sequence, loose adaptation of the Moonraker Novel, and cuba. Sure it's filled with some flaw, but come on it's a campy enjoyable romp.

    Indy 4: Like Die Another Day has a great opening act, lots of action from an aged hero. He gets blamed for the opening events by his own government and they want to just put him away. Then when shia shows up it starts going downhill. The villains are okay, I like the 50's setting but I like DAD more.

    Phantom Menace....boring, unmemorable, wooden acting, just a poor film in general. Good special effects don't make a good movie.

    DAD wins for me, followed by Indy 4. sorry phantom menace, just don't like you.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Wow, wow, wow. We can't do this thing without Batman and Robin.
  • Baltimore_007Baltimore_007
    Posts: 5,634
    I've never even seen Phantom Menace, never been a fan of Star Wars

    That only leaves the other two, and after some quick consideration, came to the decision that Die Another Day could be the worse of the trio, didn't like Ford coming back as Jones for a 4th time, but it did have it's moments, and Menace can't be as bad as Brosnan's fourth, surely..

    Furthermore anyone who thinks these are (sorry, some of) 'The three worst movies in the history of mankind' etc, maybe hasn't seen that many film releases, there are some titles I could name, and viewed, that make the ones presented here look like Ben Hur or Lawrence Of Arabia

    Not a green light for a 'name your worst movies' dayfest either, as there are about two or so threads in existence on MI6 that caters for such a thing. I was merely making comparisons maybe

  • Signed_By_RogerMooreSigned_By_RogerMoore
    Posts: 643
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Wow, wow, wow. We can't do this thing without Batman and Robin.

    You are absolutely spot on...I still refuse to believe they put nipples in the batsuit.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Signed_By_RogerMoore wrote:
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Wow, wow, wow. We can't do this thing without Batman and Robin.

    You are absolutely spot on...I still refuse to believe they put nipples in the batsuit.
    It only makes sense. Even Batman Forever beats Batman and Robin, and think how sad that is. And Batman Forever has the line "chicks dig the car". THAT IS NOT SOMETHING BATMAN WOULD SAY! Schumacher, you were the first name on my list, and you will be the first to go.
    >:P
  • 00Beast00Beast
    Posts: 4,762
    The Phantom Menace as one of the three worst films of all time? THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE!!!!

    X(

    As a HUGE Star Wars fan for years, TPM is still tied for my Number 1 favorite Star Wars movie along with The Empire Strikes Back. The Phantom Menace is pure cinema power! The series would have never continued past ROTJ if TPM hadn't been made! Sheesh, some people need to get with the program. Phantom Menace is such a large part of my childhood that if any flaws exist (which there aren't), I refuse to acknowledge them. You've got podraces, space battles, lightsaber combat (some of the best), blaster battles, and the two best, Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul!! There's no denying that epicness! And who could forget the ledgend that is Jar-Jar Binks??!! HE'S INSPIRATIONAL!
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Signed_By_RogerMoore wrote:
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Wow, wow, wow. We can't do this thing without Batman and Robin.

    You are absolutely spot on...I still refuse to believe they put nipples in the batsuit.
    It only makes sense. Even Batman Forever beats Batman and Robin, and think how sad that is. And Batman Forever has the line "chicks dig the car". THAT IS NOT SOMETHING BATMAN WOULD SAY! Schumacher, you were the first name on my list, and you will be the first to go.
    >:P

    Of course Batman Forever beats Batman and Robin! The latter was a trash fest, but the former is one of the greatest Batman movies ever made of all time! Why people criticize Batman Forever I will never know, it's truly beyond me.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    You must be joking @00Beast?! It is enough that you will be taken and dismembered by Star Wars fans everywhere, but now the Batman super fans are ready to have the scraps! Batman Forever is a wreck of a film. Batman would never say "chicks dig the car", the characters were trashed upon, the locations and settings of the film look like cheap disco art sets made by five years olds with lazy eyes, Batman should NEVER EVER EVER have nipples on the freaking batsuit. It is like he has some unhinged fetish! The villains are garbage, and unfortunately Jim overperformed more than usual, and came off as spastic instead of intelligent and calculating like The Riddler is supposed to be! And don't get me started on Two Face. Tommy Lee Jones, the worst example of wasted talent in the entire film. He looks like Liberachi if he came back from the dead with mismatched scraps of diva clothing on, and had the tendency to crack a laugh for no reason! And could he die a more worthless way?! THE WHOLE POINT OF TWO FACE AND HIS M.O. TO DECIDE THE DEATHS OF PEOPLE WITH HIS COIN IS THAT HE ALWAYS TAKES THE COINS WORD, AND NEVER LOOKS BACK ON THE CHOICE NO MATTER WHAT IT CHOOSES. AND IN THIS FILM HE FLIPS THE COIN A SECOND TIME!!! TWO FACE NEVER FLIPS A COIN AGAIN AFTER CHANCE HAS MADE ITS DECISION!!! This film is such garbage it makes Indiana Jones look like...you know what, I won't even compare any of this filth to brilliant films that deserve their praise because they didn't ruin a franchise or make ridiculously horrid films full of beaten down acting and gut wrenching, agony inducing dialogue that ruins the characters that say them, and have no relation to what that said character would say in that situation! Alfred is the ONLY thing about Batman Forever worth a damn, and same with Batman and Robin. And the credits finally rolling for the worthless things, and thank the film Gods for that. Smite thee Schumacher, smite THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Ahhhhhhhh...much better... #:-S
  • 00Beast00Beast
    Posts: 4,762
    @0BradyM0Bondfanatic7: No actually I'm not joking, I love both Phantom Menace and Batman Forever. They are two of my greatest childhood movies and I will never ever dislike them no matter what. BF may contradict Two-Face's character, Robin's origin with Two-Face rather than Tony Zucco, and the Bat-Nipple issue, but I still love it. It's so great, the Val Kilmer is the second best live action Batman next to Michael Keaton, the soundtrack is amazing, and I've always loved the duo of Two-Face and The Riddler, my two favorite Batman villains.
  • GrantGrant
    Posts: 140
    People who believe that The Phantom Menace is anything but visual diarrhea should not be allowed to comment on any other film.

    I am serious.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited May 2012 Posts: 11,189
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    You must be joking @00Beast?! It is enough that you will be taken and dismembered by Star Wars fans everywhere, but now the Batman super fans are ready to have the scraps! Batman Forever is a wreck of a film. Batman would never say "chicks dig the car", the characters were trashed upon, the locations and settings of the film look like cheap disco art sets made by five years olds with lazy eyes, Batman should NEVER EVER EVER have nipples on the freaking batsuit. It is like he has some unhinged fetish! The villains are garbage, and unfortunately Jim overperformed more than usual, and came off as spastic instead of intelligent and calculating like The Riddler is supposed to be! And don't get me started on Two Face. Tommy Lee Jones, the worst example of wasted talent in the entire film. He looks like Liberachi if he came back from the dead with mismatched scraps of diva clothing on, and had the tendency to crack a laugh for no reason! And could he die a more worthless way?! THE WHOLE POINT OF TWO FACE AND HIS M.O. TO DECIDE THE DEATHS OF PEOPLE WITH HIS COIN IS THAT HE ALWAYS TAKES THE COINS WORD, AND NEVER LOOKS BACK ON THE CHOICE NO MATTER WHAT IT CHOOSES. AND IN THIS FILM HE FLIPS THE COIN A SECOND TIME!!! TWO FACE NEVER FLIPS A COIN AGAIN AFTER CHANCE HAS MADE ITS DECISION!!! This film is such garbage it makes Indiana Jones look like...you know what, I won't even compare any of this filth to brilliant films that deserve their praise because they didn't ruin a franchise or make ridiculously horrid films full of beaten down acting and gut wrenching, agony inducing dialogue that ruins the characters that say them, and have no relation to what that said character would say in that situation! Alfred is the ONLY thing about Batman Forever worth a damn, and same with Batman and Robin. And the credits finally rolling for the worthless things, and thank the film Gods for that. Smite thee Schumacher, smite THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Ahhhhhhhh...much better... #:-S

    As a kid I liked Batman Forever. It was in fact my favourite Batman movie :\">
    Grant wrote:
    People who believe that The Phantom Menace is anything but visual diarrhea should not be allowed to comment on any other film.

    I am serious.

    Visual diarrhea? You mean like this?



    Anyway, in regard to the three. (one being the "worst" and three being the "best" it would be as follows.

    1. The Phantom Menace (although there are some good scenes)
    2. ."DUD" as @getafix 'hilariously' insists on calling it
    3. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

    At least DAD and KOTKS don't get too caught up in annoying philosophy or political comment. I can watch those two and NOT be as bored.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited May 2012 Posts: 15,723
    DAD is not the worst film ever..... far from it. I'm sure if you look on IMDB long enough, you'll find some atrocities far worse than DAD.....

    As @BAIN keeps saying, there is JUDI FRIGGEN DENCH in the film. That alone elevates the film. And Rosamund Pike.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    edited May 2012 Posts: 11,189
    DAD isn't the worst film ever BUT it's pretty bad.

    For my money films like 2012, The Happening, Transformers 2 and Batman and Robin are worse. I can at least sit through DAD.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    Posts: 15,723
    BAIN123 wrote:
    DAD isn't the worst film ever BUT it's pretty bad.

    I never said it was a masterpiece, but it's still very entertaining even with all its faults.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    BAIN123 wrote:
    For my money films like 2012, The Happening, Transformers 2 and Batman and Robin are worse.

    I'll give you Batman & Robin, but 2012 had great set pieces, The Happening had good actors and Revenge of the Fallen had great voice acting, in particular Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving.
  • DaltonCraig007DaltonCraig007 They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
    edited May 2012 Posts: 15,723
    Agent007391 wrote:
    BAIN123 wrote:
    For my money films like 2012, The Happening, Transformers 2 and Batman and Robin are worse.

    I'll give you Batman & Robin, but 2012 had great set pieces, The Happening had good actors and Revenge of the Fallen had great voice acting, in particular Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving.

    Please..... the great John Cusack was ridicule in 2012.... the story was garbage, the funny bits were cringe-worthy... the only good character dies half way through..... some very bad special effects in parts...... the kids were annoying little brats....... the romance bits was puke-inducing.......
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    edited May 2012 Posts: 12,837
    I'm not really a Star Wars fan so I can't judge TPM, but I think Indy 4 is better than DAD. Apart from Shia I enjoyed Indy 4, it just wasn't as goodas the 1st 3.

    With DAD, it starts out pretty good, most of it is good, but it lets itself down once Icarus is revealed.

    And the guy in 2012 was also in Hot Tub Time Machine so I forgive him.
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    thelivingroyale wrote:
    I'm not really a Star Wars fan so I can't judge TPM, but I think Indy 4 is better than DAD. Apart from Shia I enjoyed Indy 4, it just wasn't as goodas the 1st 3.

    With DAD, it starts out pretty good, most of it is good, but it lets itself down once Icarus is revealed.

    And the guy in 2012 was also in Hot Tub Time Machine so I forgive him.

    I never liked Temple of Doom. Raiders and Last Crusade are classic, but No.2 is a big flabby flop of a movie IMO. I blame Shortround.
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    Posts: 12,837
    Getafix wrote:
    thelivingroyale wrote:
    I'm not really a Star Wars fan so I can't judge TPM, but I think Indy 4 is better than DAD. Apart from Shia I enjoyed Indy 4, it just wasn't as goodas the 1st 3.

    With DAD, it starts out pretty good, most of it is good, but it lets itself down once Icarus is revealed.

    And the guy in 2012 was also in Hot Tub Time Machine so I forgive him.

    I never liked Temple of Doom. Raiders and Last Crusade are classic, but No.2 is a big flabby flop of a movie IMO. I blame Shortround.

    Shortround is cool! I actually like TOD just as much as the other original films, KOTCS is good but Shia drags it down and it's not at the level of the other 3.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    This is going to sound controversial but (IMO) KOTCS is just as good, if not better, than ToD.

    At least it has Marian in it.
  • WVPoefWVPoef
    edited May 2012 Posts: 147
    DaltonCraig007 wrote:
    Agent007391 wrote:
    BAIN123 wrote:
    For my money films like 2012, The Happening, Transformers 2 and Batman and Robin are worse.

    I'll give you Batman & Robin, but 2012 had great set pieces, The Happening had good actors and Revenge of the Fallen had great voice acting, in particular Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving.

    Please..... the great John Cusack was ridicule in 2012.... the story was garbage, the funny bits were cringe-worthy... the only good character dies half way through..... some very bad special effects in parts...... the kids were annoying little brats....... the romance bits was puke-inducing.......

    Can't believe I'm saying this but I totally agree with DC007.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    When I saw 2012 in the cinema I was fighting the urge to walk out.

    I never felt that with DAD. it was stupid as hell but I never once contemplated walking out.
  • GetafixGetafix
    Posts: 11,425
    With DUD I was fighting the urge to buy the ticket and walk in. In the end my loyalty to Bond won over my better judgement.
  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    I was looking forward to watching it.
  • thelivingroyalethelivingroyale
    Posts: 12,837
    BAIN123 wrote:
    I was looking forward to watching it.

    So was I.
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