My James Bond Fanfic series

Agent007391

On Fanfiction.net, under the name Jorus C'baoth (it's a Star Wars character's name), I post Bond fanfics set in the Craig-verse. I started with an adaptation of GoldenEye, based on the movie, the novelization, the 64 game, and what I knew of the WiiMake (this was early 2010 when I wrote it), but after that I actually started a continuity, starting off with an adaptation of Casino Royale which I finished last December, and I've moved onto a novelization of Quantum of Solace now.

Now, I consider myself a good writer (I'm almost certain I'm horrible, however), and since I don't get near as much feedback as I like over on FF.net, I've decided to also post my Bond fics here, to get some reaction from slightly more active Bond fans. I'll post a chapter a week until I catch up with myself (hopefully, I never do, but I know I will, I'm a slow writer), at which point you guys'll get them the same day FF.net does.

I want real feedback, okay? I need it, because I don't really feel I'm improving as a writer, and I'd like to know just what the f*ck I'm doing wrong. You guys will also get the slightly better edited versions of my fanfics, but only because I'm certain I'll notice them as I post them here.

So, without further ado, here is the first chapter of The Quantum Trilogy, Book 1: Casino Royale!

1 / Double-0 Status Approved

NOW

Prague was rather unforgiving in the winter. One never knew if they would roll their car over by turning the wrong icy corner or they would slip while walking and fall into the river. The MI6 station in Prague was usually devoid of any ice, by way of maintenance people they hired every year. So when Section Chief Dryden stepped out of his car, he was quite angry at those very maintenance people who's paychecks he signed. The ice in the parking lot was almost horrendous.

He walked into the building and stepped into the elevator. His office was on the top floor by design, and no one but him and other Section Chiefs had a key to unlock the top floor. Of course, the CSS (Chief of the Secret Service), a woman who went solely by the letter M, also had a key. And he knew M was involved when he opened the door and saw the man who was sitting in his chair.

James Bond spun around the chair to face Dryden. “M doesn't mind you earning a little extra money on the side, Dryden. She'd just prefer it if it weren't selling secrets.”

Dryden took off his coat and placed it on the rack next to the door. He saw that Bond was still wearing his. No doubt carrying his weapon underneath. Dryden just gave out a light laugh. “If the theatrics are supposed to scare me,” he walked over to his five-foot tall file box, “you've got the wrong man, Bond.”

“I'm not so sure of that.” Dryden noticed that Bond had placed a gun on the desk. It was Dryden's personal side arm.

“If M was so sure I was bent, she'd have sent a Double Oh. Benefits of being Section Chief, I'd have knowledge of anyone who'd been promoted to Double Oh status. Your file shows no kills, and it takes—” He was cut off before finishing.

“Two,” Bond finished for him.

THEN

Bond kneed Ernst Fisher in the face. He landed in the bathroom stall and nearly crushed the toilet. He got back up, however, and punched Bond in the face, then took the damaged toilet seat and slammed it into Bond's stomach.

NOW

Dryden quickly grabbed the gun from on top of the desk and pointed it at Bond's head. “Shame,” he said, “we barely got to know each other.” He squeezed the trigger, but nothing came out. He hit the magazine release and saw the bullets had been removed.

“I know where you keep your gun. I suppose that's something.”

Dryden dropped the gun. “True.” He took a deep breath. He knew what was coming. “How did he die?”

“You contact?” Bond shrugged. “Not well.”

THEN

Bond grabbed Fisher by the neck and slammed him into the wall. He punched him in the gut twice, then backhanded him in the face. He landed on a sink.

NOW

Dryden smiled. “Made you feel it, did he?”

Bond almost scowled. Dryden knew from experience that Bond only killed if it was absolutely necessary.

THEN

Fisher brought up his gun and let a shot off. Bond ducked into a stall the second before and back himself against the stall wall. Fisher came around and was greeted by another punch. He dropped the gun this time. Bond picked it up and pistol-whipped Fisher, sending him back into the sink. Bond turned the water on and held Fisher's face down in it. He held it there until he stopped squirming, then pulled him out and dumped him on the floor.

NOW

Dryden continued to smile. “Did he give you anything? Any information?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Not really.”

“Actually it is. With no proof and a dead contact, you have absolutely no evidence to convict me of leaking information. And with only one kill, you have yet to be promoted to Double Oh status. But you needn't worry, the second is—” Once again Bond cut him short. This time, he didn't finish his sentence. He brought up his weapon and put a bullet straight into Dryden's eye.

“Yes,” Bond said, flipping the safety switch on his Walther, “considerably.”

THEN

Bond took a moment to catch his breath. He hadn't had this bad a fight for some time. While his back was turned, Fisher regained consciousness and pulled another gun from the small of his back. He raised the gun and was prepared to fire when Bond turned around and fired his weapon. The round struck Fisher in the exact center of his forehead.

One down, one to go, Bond thought.

To Be Continued

There we go. Now, when I wrote the majority of this, I was simply going on memory. It wasn't until later on (Bond's dinner with Vesper after he wins the poker game, all the dialogue with Vesper when Bond's recovering) that I actually transcribed anything from the film. Obviously, because of this, there are differences. I actually, for the most part, completely screwed up the entire poker game, but at least it still comes out the same.

Darius

This is pretty much what goes down in the movie, as it is narrated in the movie. Other than a few proofing errors (whose, rather than who's etc.), it reads very well.

However, in choosing to narrate the scene exactly as it is in the movie is not a good idea, I think. It's possible to cross-cut from flashback to present in a movie in rapid fashion, as we saw in CR, but on the printed page, the dynamics are different. A movie is ostensibly a visual medium that relies on dramatic spectacle to work. The printed word, on the other hand, does not.

You need to approach the drama in a different way in a novel format and to do this you need to foreshadow the fight in the washroom by beginning the piece from Bond's point of view. Maybe you could begin with Bond flying to Prague and running through his recent kill in his mind as he sips a martini or two. End the scene with the ominous figure of Bond leaving the plane, almost like the Terminator.

Then switch to the narrative you've outlined above. You now can dispense with the "THEN" and "NOW" headings and weave in flashes of the narrative you've already related as scraps of recurring memory. In the movie, the scene is narrated from Dryden's point of view to begin with, but here you have to keep it all with Bond, so that there are no omniscient passes of viewpoint. You could have Bond watch silently as Dryden gets out of his vehicle and walks to the building. Recount the evening Bond has spent with Dryden and qualify the "We barely had a chance to get to know each other" statement.

All of this fills out your scene so that the finished work will not only make novel length, but it will be a much more informed and therefore satisfying read.