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The most ineffective henchman in a Bond film!

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  • Whitaker1987Whitaker1987
    Posts: 172
    Whitaker1987 wrote: »
    Maybe I have missed it but I notice Kratt isn't mentioned here. Kratt what did he do that was memorable?


  • Whitaker1987Whitaker1987
    Posts: 172

    Nick Nack is of of the best. He would have speared Bond if Hai Fat didn't step in. Plus he survived. wonder where he is in the world of 007 today?
  • mcdonbbmcdonbb deep in the Heart of Texas
    Posts: 4,116
    Who's Kratt? I know I should know this but forgot.

    You know another good henchman is the assassin in FYEO... never said a word except awwweeee ...he had a certain edge to him even up to end.
  • Whitaker1987Whitaker1987
    Posts: 172
    Kratt in Casino Royale. Le Chiffres henchman.
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,229
    Kratt was fairly good I think. He does what he's asked and has a benign bizarre appearance. Not all henchmen are meant to be Grant.
  • echoecho 007 in New York
    Posts: 6,382
    Elvis is up there with the gondola operator in MR in terms of ineffectiveness.
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    Posts: 159
    Does Sandor count for a henchman?
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,229
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Does Sandor count for a henchman?

    Well, yes. He didn't do too badly.
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    Posts: 159
    Sandor could be more useful working at the door for some night club, scaring the broke students away than be a Bond henchman. Besides, he was well beaten by JB.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Milton Reid should ve been the main villain in a Bond film.
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,229
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Sandor could be more useful working at the door for some night club, scaring the broke students away than be a Bond henchman. Besides, he was well beaten by JB.

    He did manage one kill.
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    Posts: 159
    Ludovico wrote: »
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Sandor could be more useful working at the door for some night club, scaring the broke students away than be a Bond henchman. Besides, he was well beaten by JB.

    He did manage one kill.

    Accidentally though. A henchman is usually clever and you can't say Sandor was bright, can you?

  • BAIN123BAIN123
    Posts: 11,189
    What about those nameless goons in AVTAK? They have a crappy fight with Bond and Tibbet and are easily overpowered. One of them even helps Bond by lying on the conveyer belt voluntarily.
  • LeChiffreLeChiffre
    Posts: 1,548
    Elvis by far. He might be able to get a job with Quantum but he'd never pass the entrance exam for a truly threatening criminal organisation like Spectre!
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 41,011
    @BAIN123, at least they had some form of a fight with Bond! Elvis literally does nothing: stands out, gets slapped out of the way by Camille, gets ignored, doesn't have smiles returned his way, gets ushered along like a child, has "clean-up" duty, gets tripped down a stairwell and loses his wig, and is left behind to take care of Bond, resulting in him dying in an explosion and having his pants blown off of him - literally. He accomplishes nothing.
  • LudovicoLudovico
    Posts: 15,229
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Ludovico wrote: »
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Sandor could be more useful working at the door for some night club, scaring the broke students away than be a Bond henchman. Besides, he was well beaten by JB.

    He did manage one kill.

    Accidentally though. A henchman is usually clever and you can't say Sandor was bright, can you?

    I am not saying that. I am just saying he is not completely ineffective. Also, I don't think a henchman necessarily has to be clever. If you need a dumb brute to do the job, his stupidity would be no hindrance to his competence. Oddjob may not be very smart, he is nevertheless very good at what he does.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Kingpin.jpg
    Milton Reid is Kingpin
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    Posts: 159
    Ludovico wrote: »
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Ludovico wrote: »
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    Sandor could be more useful working at the door for some night club, scaring the broke students away than be a Bond henchman. Besides, he was well beaten by JB.

    I did manage one kill.

    Accidentally though. A henchman is usually clever and you can't say Sandor was bright, can you?

    I am not saying that. I am just saying he is not completely ineffective. Also, I don't think a henchman necessarily has to be clever. If you need a dumb brute to do the job, his stupidity would be no hindrance to his competence. Oddjob may not be very smart, he is nevertheless very good at what he does.


    He was totally ineffective, I think. He missed Bond and he was thrown off the roof, so what did he manage? To give him a few punches?
  • LudovicoLudovico
    edited August 2015 Posts: 15,229
    Birdleson wrote: »
    He killed that broad before she could talk.

    Exactly.

    And for the record I am not a fan of TSWLM.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    I'd vote for Elvis.
  • IncompetentHenchmanIncompetentHenchman
    Posts: 1,817
    Bumping this thread given that we had some discussion over this in the questions thread and it's probably better off here.

    Elvis is indisputable worst henchman.

    Gabor and Kratt come next. (Both the main henchmen of their films too).
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,359
    This henchmen I'll call... Magnum Guy. He's so useless he got Fiona killed. :)) I bet he got fed to the sharks the next day.
    Tb-cns1.jpg
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 on fb and ajb
    Posts: 9,020
    Even the Swiss were embarrassed with Elvis, finally a real Swiss character and then this!
    I hereby declare Elvis is not the typical Swiss specimen.
    Also he has the worst and idiotic dialogue EVER in a Bond movie.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited March 2016 Posts: 9,117
    And it takes a lot to embarrass the Swiss!!

    Questioning where all the Nazi gold is stored or if they took backhanders from Russia and Qatar certainly not enough.

    Anyway in breaking down the ineffectiveness quotient of a henchman I have come up with a few criteria:

    Kills: An effective henchman should top people for fun. Marks for brutality, ease and numbers.

    Physical threat: Should look like he cannot be beaten by a mortal man in a stand up fight (and display this as he is killing others so we know when it comes to the showdown Bond will be in real trouble).

    Loyalty to his master: Should have no qualms about dying himself to protect his master or carry out his evil orders.

    Going down fighting: Shouldnt allow himself to die by, for example, standing there and having his pants blown off.

    I'm sure there are more so feel free to add although remember it's about ineffectiveness/ineptitude so things that I considered including such as a creepy appearance or good final showdown with Bond aren't that relevant I don't think. Or maybe they are? I guess the fact Hinx has Bond beaten until Madeline intervenes must count on his favour? But that is covered by 'physical threat'. It doesn't matter if the proceeding fight is good or bad it's just how close to killing Bond he comes. Similarly with Grant; the fact that the fight is the best in case cinematic history is irrelevant. The fact that Bond is in big trouble and almost dies is relevant.

    So based on the categories above Elvis gets:

    Kills - 0/10
    Physical threat - 0/10
    Loyalty - 3/10 (does what he's told and stands there like a mug till he's blown up. But doesn't show any independence of thought and has to literally be told everything. Compare this to Oddjob who happily carries on with his job despite having been locked in to die by Goldfinger)
    Going down fighting - 0/10

    Elvis - 3/40 and all those points are basically for carrying stuff for Greene.

    Here's one who has only now just struck me - Mr Jones in DN.

    Kills - 0/10
    Physical threat - 1/10. At least he has a shot at the champ Elvis.
    Loyalty - 6/10. Inept at carrying out his orders but takes cyanide for the cause.
    Going down fighting - 6/10. Well he does and despite getting battered keeps on getting up and having another go.

    13/40 - Puts into perspective just how shit Elvis is because Mr Jones is pretty useless.
  • IncompetentHenchmanIncompetentHenchman
    Posts: 1,817
    Hmmm can someone tell me if Gabor killed anyone?
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    edited March 2016 Posts: 16,359
    IncompetentHenchman wrote: »
    Hmmm can someone tell me if Gabor killed anyone?
    Yes, He killed one of M's bodyguards and a pipeline worker when Elektra reveals herself as Blo... Er The Villainess. :P

  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    I've said this before, but as this thread is still going, I'll repeat it again for emphasis:

    Gabor, Bullion & Davidoff from you know what.

    Unquestionably.
  • Crazysoul95Crazysoul95
    Posts: 3,336
    Elvis, he dosen't do a sh.t
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Crazysoul95 wrote: »
    Elvis, he dosen't do a sh.t

    True enough but personally I don't think defecating on screen is a must for a competent henchman.

  • mcdonbbmcdonbb deep in the Heart of Texas
    Posts: 4,116
    Elvis wasn't written as a lethal henchman ...y'all know that, right?

    And technically since none have killed Bond they all were ineffective lol.
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