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Absolutely. I like reading other people's interests :-). Makes you a bit more empathic towards others as well.
One can also standardize the questions in a 'form' of some kind. Then someone -the moderator- sends a PM out. And then everyone can fill it out themselves. Although then there's a bit less attention to detail.
Another idea is perhaps recording audiovisual skype conversations/interviews.
By just having everyone fill out a standardized set of questions all at once and without any variety in how they're asked and what topics they focus on, you lose that sense of fun for the interviewee and feeling of excitement and expectation for the readers.
Yeah, probably you're right :-).
1.) How did you become interested in James Bond?
The story of Bond and me began when I was about 6 years old, sometime in ’88. My mom and I were home alone one evening – my dad was in a late meeting, or so he maintains despite the traces of lipstick on his cheeks. My mom was lazily going through the TV channels when she suddenly stopped as she saw this handsome fellow with dark hair lighting a cigarette at a baccarat table and speaking the holiest of words, “Bond” – a cool bit of music started playing – “James Bond”. “Hey”, she said, “it’s James Bond.”
Something clicked.
As if the 007 code was written in my genes, I instantly dropped my toys, moved a lot closer to the TV and never turned my eyes away from the movie. It all made sense. A hero, like a knight, but in a tuxedo instead of in a chainmaille, with a gun instead of a sword and a fast car instead of a horse. The princess, not trapped in a dark tower but walking the improvised catwalk of an exotic beach. The evil doctor, a mad wizard in his own right. The James Bond theme, possibly the first time I ever heard it, infected my brain like a heroine shot: addiction kicked in fast and to this day I haven’t been able to get rid of it. I didn’t utter a single word until the end credits started rolling and suddenly I exploded like a nuclear bomb. “JAMES BOND!!!!”
I was 6 but my life had been changed forever. Because of Dr. No, I went through each week’s TV programming like a madman, looking for those delicious words: James Bond film, directed by -. I memorized the titles, which wasn’t easy at the time since English wasn’t my native tongue. Imagine the kid version of me trying to pronounce “The Liffing Daylights” or “Fwom Wussia Wis Lof”. James Bond influenced my choice of music too. While my classmates were into kid songs and then rap and then heavy metal, I never left the film music section. I spent a decade and a half pursuing the James Bond soundtracks as if my life depended on it. My peers told me reading was for nerds while I had my nose buried deep in Fleming’s novels. My English teachers, impressed with how fluent in English I already was in my early teens, were eventually astonished to find that I basically chewed out Roger Moore lines from the Bond films. Some of the double entendres made my female teachers blush…
And it all began when my mom stumbled upon Dr. No one lazy night and in her infinite wisdom decided that this classic film was appropriate enough for 6 year old me. She had given birth to me; now she had given my life a purpose.
2.) Of course with any high points in the series, we all have a low point. What are some of the low points for you in the EON series of James Bond films? Also, why do you feel that way?
To be frank, my low points may deviate from the majority choices. Though they are stark raving mad, I actually have a soft spot for CR67, DAF and especially MR. But YOLT, TMWTGG and TWINE are at the bottom of my list.
After four very good if not excellent Bond films, including TB, the fifth film suffered from several flaws in my opinion. The script is what bugs me most but I also feel like the production team was on autopilot this time. Scenes should have been re-done, filtering out some of that embarrassing line delivery; cuts should have been thought through with more care, reducing the number of boring shots and such; and the script simply demanded more rewrites, as it now barely topped the Roger Corman version of a Bond script. Every time I watch YOLT, I get the awkward sense that EON is telling me, “hey, you loved the previous films, just swallow this half-baked stuff too and please give us your money.”
By the time we got to TMWTGG, the same problem returned. A rushed job, a flawed script from start to finish and even worse, jokes that weren’t funny but insulting instead. The production of this film was out of control. Redundant and badly filmed scenes were hurled at us left and right, like that fight-for-fight’s-sake debacle in Beirut. While films like FRWL and OHMSS easily stand the test of time in terms of plot sophistication, TMWTGG barely stays above 70s grindhouse cinema level.
Many will say that DAD was the series’ Batman And Robin but I disagree. TWINE was. The script wrote itself into such a confusing mess, it had to fall back on the eternally horrendous “I have a nephew who can…” twist and some submarine gizmos nobody understands (not even the novelist I should add!) which will, however, resolve everything in a heartbeat. Even the little connect-the-dots middle section of the film fails to convince as Bond doesn’t do any serious deduction work but trips over one coincidence to conveniently fall into another one instead.
But perhaps the absolute lowest of lows in the series was Kevin McClory’s involvement. I have stated my hatred for the man – yes, hatred – often enough so I won’t go into rant mode here, but I blame him for Fleming’s death at too young an age and for many of the production troubles EON had to suffer through. McClory acted like the kid who got buggered out of some lunch money by Fleming and decided to compensate by going ballistic on the man and in fact on everyone else who had anything to do with his great legacy.
3.) With SP finally gracing theaters and now being weeks away from a blu-ray/DVD release, what were your overall thoughts on it? Was it worth the three year wait? What're your likes, dislikes, and things you may change?
It would appear there are two camps here: those who prefer SF over SP and those who’ll have it the other way around. I’m in the latter camp. While I truly enjoy SF, I was exceptionally enthusiastic after seeing SP. To be honest, SP feels like it was made for me. Allow me to explain.
Ever since QOS, I lamented the lack of closure on the subject of Quantum as an Illuminati type of organization. I wanted to imagine that Quantum was but one link in a bigger network, with an even darker shadow organization behind it. Spectre came to mind right away. I dreamed up a Bond story in which it would be revealed that Spectre had been behind White and Greene all this time. Some folks told me you can never bring back the bald guy with the Mao suit and the cat but I strongly disagreed. An updated version of Blofeld seemed perfectly acceptable. Seeing how the Nolan Batman films brought us naturalism and a sense of realism in a comic book world full of colorful yet cartoonish characters, I was confident that a modern take on Spectre existed well within the possibilities of the Craig Bonds. With the rights to Blofeld and Spectre finally back where they belong, I saw no reason not to pursue this line of thinking.
Seeing SP, it hit me that this was exactly what I had been dreaming about since ’08. Right there, the film hit all the proper notes. Furthermore, I found the story more interesting, intriguing and dare I say more logical than SF. The character of Madeleine Swann immediately became one of my favorite Bond girls of the last dozen of films and I love how they 24’ed the MI6 crew into the plot. Waltz’ portrayal of Blofeld actually does it for me too. I was never very thrilled about Silva but Christophe’s take on a Bond bad guy? Spot on. I understand SP is a polarizing film; I’m on its good side.
In answer to the question, yes, it was worth the three years. If I could change anything, it would be Hinx’ name, though never actually mentioned if I recall correctly, because, well, the reasons are obvious enough, right? Also, C’s betrayal was a bit too predictable for a modern Bond film. They could have found a way to put more of a surprise twist on his story. Lastly, mentioning Leiter was a good move but not showing him or giving him any direct use is a crime. We have a great Leiter with Jeffrey Wright. Why we haven’t done anything with him since QOS is beyond me.
But besides these things, I must admit I wouldn’t change anything in the movie. SP is my kind of Bond film and I enjoyed it from the first to the last minute.
4.) Not taking the finished product of SP into account, what were your thoughts on Mendes' return? Did he deliver, and how would you compare it to Skyfall?
Mendes is an arthouse director. I like the style he brought to Bond but once would have been enough for me. Though I love SP, I would have liked to see another director’s take on the material. Martin Campbell made two great Bond films, adjusted to the demands of the times. Mendes makes Mendes films first and foremost. The good thing is that with SP, he delivered the goods, at least for me. But I think SP could have been a stronger movie still with another director pasting a slightly different style over it. I’m one of those people who’d love a Christopher Nolan film, and not just because I’m a fan of his Dark Knight trilogy. I sincerely believe the man has all the right talents to pull it off. Bringing back the iconic Spectre could have been an interesting challenge for Nolan.
Comparing SP to SF, I’d say Mendes did a better job despite himself. I feel he held back a little bit, Mendessus Interruptus, going for a more conventional - dare I say a more mainstream Bond film. So in a sense, I compare SP favorably to SF but mostly because of Mendes making it less of a Mendes film than SF. Or so I think.
5.) What would you like to see story wise with Bond 25? And what more do you think Daniel Craig can bring to the role? Any thoughts on the rumored back-to-back shooting, is it something like you'd like to see?
I’d love for them to continue the SP story arc. The film opens with Bond being forced by an unknown to help Blofeld escape, lest Madeleine Swann be killed. Next, Bond is forced to shoot M, which takes us to the tense scene in the TMWTGG novel where a brainwashed Bond tries to do the same thing. He’ll fail and be caught. When Madeleine’s corpse washes up in the Thames, Bond is kept in the dark. Immediately after that, SP [somehow] threatens the West with a total economical power shift to the East. Knowing that Bond is the only one who can get to Blofeld, M will send him on this mission with the promise that if he pulls it off, he’ll be pardoned for his ‘crimes’ and can re-unite with Madeleine. Bond’s mission will take him to Nova Scotia and then to Japan where he learns about a certain Dr. Shatterhand, whom Bond discovers is Blofeld. Meanwhile, he also tries to establish a connection with Madeleine, despite MI6 blocking all his attempts. But when Bond enters Blofeld’s gardens of death, surrounding his Japan based castle, he finally discovers that Madeleine isn’t alive anymore. At first he will rage, trying to kill Blofeld. But the Spectre mastermind makes him wonder if MI6’s attitude towards him deserves his loyalty. In a castle, sitting atop a highly unstable ‘mud’ volcano, Bond must decide what his next step will be…
Daniel Craig can’t leave now. We have just established our new Blofeld; we seriously can’t expect a young actor to take over now. Craig, in my opinion, is ageing very well. I put him somewhere in the same good spot as where Moore was in ’79. Yes, he’s obviously a man who’s seen a few battles but he can still beat the living crap out of you and bed a girl like a pro. I think he has a lot more to bring to the part. I know we’re not going to get four more films with Craig, but a fifth wouldn’t harm.
The back-to-back thing? I don’t know. It’d be a first. The good thing is we’d probably get us two Bonds in only about a year time. It might furthermore ensure that Craig could do two more Bonds instead of only one. However, is it financially feasible to produce two such expensive films back-to-back? And seeing how exhausted Craig is after a Bond film, mentally as well as physically, would he really want to spend even more time in the tuxedo?
The truth is I’d love to see Craig return for at least one more film but I doubt the back-to-back thing will happen if he does.
6.) What are your thoughts on each of the actors to play Bond? Also, who is your favorite? Least favorite?
Sean Connery is the epitome of Bond cool but the quality of his performances was rather unbalanced. He went from brilliant to bored to ostentatiously irritated. Shame, because in the end, Connery remains the icon, ‘the’ 007.
I quite like what Lazenby did. The difficulty is that we’ll never know for sure if he would have grown in the part after OHMSS. Lazenby’s somewhat troublesome behavior and his agent’s poor judgement stand in the way of total praise. I really do like what he brought to OHMSS. It was an honest, charismatic and physically impressive performance. But because it was a one time only thing, he has a bit of a disadvantage there.
I love Roger Moore. Not just the man behind the role, but his Bond too. Moore is often ‘accused’ of being too jokey and too – ugh – “old”, but I couldn’t disagree more. He delivered his funny lines more tongue-in-cheek than Connery did, but he could play it tough at the same time. Certain scenes in TSWLM, FYEO and OP reveal a darker side of Bond that matches similar moments in Connery’s days. Also, Moore’s performances where more stable overall, especially since TSWLM. Not only is he a sweet man, but he was a darn good Bond.
My favorite Bond is Timothy Dalton. If only audiences and critics AND studio execs had been smarter then, they’d have gone a long way with this man. Dalton looked the part. He studied Fleming. He gave Bond some faults, contradiction and humanity. His two films – which were 5 films too few – brought dark realism and naturalism to the part. Timothy Dalton is the most underrated of all the Bond actors. This man was the Daniel Craig of his time but he had to compete with Die Hard, Lethal Weapon and Miami Vice and somehow that didn’t work out. If audiences had accepted the grittier hero, the Bourne or Nolan Batman or Bauwer who eventually pushed us violently into the post 9/11 age, only 15 years sooner, Dalton would have dethroned Connery as the most celebrated Bond ever, I’m sure. But the tone shift after 7 Moore Bonds proved too challenging at the time and Dalton’s Bond, like a beautiful flower in the mountains where no mortal man dares to venture, was overlooked and eventually forgotten. I’m a Daltonite though, and a fierce one at that.
Brosnan brought security. He was kinder, more polished and perhaps even more charming than Dalton. In the 90s era of good looks and computers everything, Brosnan appealed to the masses, to women especially. Brosnan brought warmth where Dalton had brought a delicate mixture of heat and cold; Brosnan was soft where Dalton had been raiser sharp; Brosnan offered sanctuary where Dalton had mostly posed a threat. I myself never disliked his Bond – it was the proper Bond for the times. Pretty boy Brosnan and his conventional good looks, his calm demeanor and unchallenging attitude were the right answer to the fashionable PC world that had just seen the light of day. I always enjoyed the Brosnan films to a point, but in the back of my mind, I never forgot that Dalton could have been the one playing Bond in ’95, and that hurt. While Lazenby might be my least favorite Bond by default – he only did one – Brosnan might actually be a bit too ‘safe’ for my taste and he might actually walk away with the “least favorite” trophy.
Craig is a great Bond. He’s terrific. When he was first announced, it took me five minutes to accept him. The first still photo of him in the tux with the gun had me convinced. CR blew me away. Ever since 2006, I’ve held the man in nothing but high esteem. With his performances proving consistently impressive, Daniel Craig feels like a gift from the heavens. Like Michael Keaton in Batman ’89, Craig had to work hard to win our heart. But he walked away with our soul too. I think he’s among the very best actors in the series.
7.) What is your absolute favorite Bond film and why? What is your least favorite and why does it sit at the bottom of your ranking?
GoldenEye will always remain my favorite Bond. It’s not the best in the series, I will admit that much, but it was MY Bond film. I was 13, still very impressionable and I was slowly becoming a ‘consumer’. LTK had come out when I was 7, barely old enough to stroll outside the house without parental guidance. So the way I experienced GE was as the first film of my generation, of the modern age. That said, I truly enjoy the film – period. Campbell has an eye for details, for good action, for leaving a lasting impression during a new actor’s introduction. I still think GE has the best OT that ever graced a Bond film, the best written lines and one of the coolest villains. The music, while not the greatest stand-alone listening experience, works wonderfully within the film. You wouldn’t want to drink pure vinegar either but it gives any salad the edge it needs. That's how I feel about Serra’s score. Again, better Bond films have been made before and since, but GE is my favorite.
My least favorite, for reasons I explained in question 2, may very well be TWINE. At least DAD went with the joke. TWINE wanted to be serious but reached the sophistication level of a made-for-television film full of nonsensical intrigues. I’m not saying I can’t enjoy it but the fun is more or less over after the PTS. Not a single action scene is exciting, lines are badly written and sometimes badly delivered, and the script goes nowhere.
8.) What are some of your thoughts on the other areas of Bond: Favorite novel? Favorite games? Favorite song and soundtrack?
My favorite novel, I must admit, is either CR or MR. Both are tremendous. CR is fast, it reads like a train. MR is epic, it’s tense, it’s smart. Fleming’s words are gold. But I have to say, I also have a soft spot for TSWLM. I’ve always loved the concept of an ordinary person meeting Bond in extra-ordinary circumstances and experiencing the story through that person’s eyes. That said, there isn’t a single Bond novel I find tedious or uninteresting. GF is the only book that was bettered by the film adaptation in my humble opinion, but it still is a great book.
I play PC games. That keeps my options, unfortunately, very narrow. It used to be all about NightFire because I had few alternatives. I liked to walk around in the environments but I wasn’t too hot on the story or the lack of challenges that console players were indulged with. When Quantum Of Solace was released, I actually praised that game. The surroundings were very cool and I rather liked both the game play and the fact that we could re-enact moments and situations from the first two Craig movies. But BloodStone is my favorite, no doubt there. It’s not a perfect game, but I like the physics, the digital Craig, the music, the voice work, the graphics and the driving sequences. The Batman Arkham games loom large over the Bond games; WB does it so much better. But if I have nothing better to do on a Sunday, I can’t help feeling the desire to play QOS or BS. They're good enough for me.
When it comes to songs, I guess I’m a sucker for DAF and MR. I know these are not the popular choices – they’re no GF or AVTAK – but I love the atmosphere Barry inserted. Those strings bring an eroticism and sense of adventure that grips me, like a magnet. Also, the way the master of Bond scores manages to incorporate these songs into the scores, commands nothing but my absolute deference. I have to admit that Adele’s Skyfall is another of my favorites.
In terms of scores, MR does it. Barry was at that time in full control of the Bond music. MR pulls me in from the moment Drax’ pilots hijack the shuttle in the PTS. The score simply announces that this film will eventually take us into space. The “Bond lured to the pyramid” and “Flight into space” tracks on the soundtrack CD are amongst my favorite musical suites EVER.
9.) What are your favorite aspects of the Bond film series? And if you were able to bring something to the films/character what would you add to the series if you could? Or, rather, what would you bring back that we haven't seen in a while?
I’m an easy lay when it comes to all things Bond so to point out one or two aspects that I love most is quite a daunting task. I guess you might say that the escapism, offered by the films and the novels, is what does it for me most. Exotic adventures, tense investigations, the cars, the women, … Bond is my gateway to better things.
Honestly, I don’t think I could bring anything to the series myself, except that I’m still dreaming of a Bond television series based on the Fleming novels. Less action and more dialogue; we seem to be more tolerant towards those things when presented as a television series. Something like Sherlock perhaps? Close to 90 minutes per book but keeping things locked in the 50s and 60s.
10.) If you could put yourself in one Bond film, which film would it be and why is that?
Look, I’m not going to lie: MR it is. I get to spend a romantic night with Goodhead in Venice, fly into space and have sex in a state of perpetual weightlessness. Yeah, that even beats romancing Solitaire or driving a truck on two wheels.
@0BradyM0Bondfanatic7, I bet that was a blast to go back and read through again! Happy to see I managed to have a wish come true, and I do believe I may have mentioned elsewhere in the past that I'd love to have Christoph Waltz as a villain. Who knew I'd get them both together in one movie?
@Gustav_Graves, I'm going to keep this format going, mainly because it lets us get a more personal look at individual members, rather than everyone throwing their answers out and trying to reply to each other. The only time it ever stalls is when someone is too busy to reply, so I'm now trying to focus on interviewing members that I know take part on a daily basis. It's not like you have to answer them all immediately from the get go, but at the same time, it shouldn't take more than a week and a half to finish, since I only send twenty questions in two separate parts before turning it over to anyone else who has questions.
Klingon.
@PropertyOfALady, I was born and raised in Dutch, that funny lingo we tend to speak here in Flanders and the Netherlands. I learned most if not all of my English from watching too many films and reading too many books, both in English. I was recently asked to join an education program in which our Flemish students could be taught courses in "foreign" languages, i.e. English, French or German. In my case, I'd have to teach chemistry in English. My school principal gave me the bug eyes when I explained that my love for English arose from watching - and worse, mimicking - Roger Moore as James Bond. :D How something like that could have helped me to get a C2 level certificate in English, she couldn't understand. Right then I felt I had earned the moment to just raise an eyebrow and walk away. :D
@Thunderfinger is more than a man, by the way. He's the Dark Overlord from the Howard The Duck movie.
SNITCH!
Anyway, this was just so nice to read. Really looking forward to hearing more from you, Dimi.
Oh - and I really thought @Thunderfinger was Howard the Duck, actually. Live and learn. ;)
And @Thunderfinger wishes he were as cool as Howard. Or is it the other way around? :)
11.) Who is your favorite director in the series and why?
I’m inclined to say Young, because of the pure magic he brought with the first two Bond films and how essential they were in helping our beloved series to grow. I could also say Hunt, because I love what he did with OHMSS. I have a soft spot for Glen as well, since his run was far more interesting and solid than many will have you believe. But my favorite director in the series is hands-down Campbell. Twice did he ‘save’ the series by re-introducing us to Bond through a great and original Bond film. Both GE and CR are, in my humble opinion, unmatched in their lead actor’s respective series. Campbell not only knows how to set up a new actor in the 007 role, but he also understands the craft of making a great Bond film. He allows brief pauses, ambitiously directs clever scripts – or cleverly directs ambitious scripts – and maintains a high sense of escapism while at the same time delivering to us a very naturalistic film. Given the man’s age I very much doubt we’ll ever see him again in the director’s chair of a Bond production and quite frankly, that saddens me. Martin Campbell showed bravery and skill and both his Bond films secured a future for 007 in their respective decades. I know many people really like Mendes, but while he’s arguably the more successful director outside the Bond series, as a Bond director he doesn’t hold a candle to Campbell.
12.) Let's get into the smaller bits of the Bond universe: what are some of your favorite scenes throughout the films? Favorite allies and henchmen? Favorite PTS/finales? Favorite lines? What about your least favorites and why?
Favorite scenes
You got an hour or two? Okay, I’ll narrow the list to three scenes that pop up in my head right now.
1 – “On your knees, General.” Dalton rebalances the gun, with silencer, in his hand, stretches his arm and wears his light brown suit like a male model. He is Bond, hear him roar. He’s forced to make a tough decision. Will he follow instinct, or orders? Can Pushkin persuade him, or is a KGB mastermind at gunpoint too delicious an opportunity? This is a scene that would make Fleming cry prideful tears.
2 – A mirror is broken, a sink shattered in pieces after it met the body of a fighting man. Meet James Hulk, a man dressed in a white shirt and dark vest, kicking your contact’s ass like a bear in a public restroom. He died, and not well. After this scene, no-one, including yoh’ momma, could have convinced me that Daniel Craig isn’t the right man for the job.
3 – Genealogy, what a fascinating subject… if you want to bore someone to death. Except when you lock double-oh-sexy up in a well heated room full of hormonally unbalanced women, overlooking the Alps, and with some of John Barry’s best music playing in the background. Dinner may be a tad challenging but the thought of sitting down amidst young hotties with allergies – you’d be surprised where – talking about gold balls, always causes a slight stiffness to come up. As the Sun sets down behind snowy mountains, protected by the safety of thick glass and a romantic fire, I’m in heaven.
Least favorite scenes
1 – “He knew where to huuuurt me…” In 1999, the world was coming to an end. For the umptieth time, Millennialists had predicted death and rebirth of our civilization. A man of science, like myself, usually finds amusement in that idiocy, but I did get a little nervous when Bond turned emo in TWINE. From the character that brought you, “That’s a Smith & Wesson – and you’ve had your six”, comes the best deduction Sherlock Holmes never conveyed: he . used . your . exact . words! There’s no point in living, if you can’t feel alive… a line so bad, even Miley Cyrus wouldn’t have it tattooed over her naughty parts. Yet to Bond, that line means the world – while to me it’s far from enough – because suddenly he understands the mechanism of evil Elektra’s plot. Or does he? With compelling evidence such as, “He knew where to hurt me” and “isn’t that your motto?”, he probably could have built a convincing case for shooting Elektra on the spot. Instead, he lectures her, tells her to “drop the act, ok?” and now go to your room, young lady, you’re grounded. Meanwhile, Brosnan’s warface – “AAAAAAAAH!” (courtesy of Full Metal Jacket) – has his lips working overtime. He just stands there blowing steam through his nostrils while Sophie Marceau is wondering why she isn’t taking her clothes off in another French arthouse film instead. Remember, next time you hear someone quote from the ‘Phrases for Emo Aces’ book, he did it. Yes, it really was the end of the world… as we knew it.
2 – Beirut is no Casablanca, Sam. James Bond, well dressed Englishman, posing like a big spender with a cigar the size of a cucumber sticking out of his mouth as if it indicates a tendency for something else, enjoys the belly dancing of one Sahida. But this clearly displeases a bald housekeeper whose eyes are burning with fire because, well, customers with money, who wants them, right? He calls for Achmed – do you know Achmed? – like the Emperor sends for Lord Vader. Setting political relations between Westerners and Muslims back a couple of centuries, the bald man and his goons barge into the same room where Sahida’s “charm” and Bond’s mouth are doing icky stuff. Unfortunately, the room is barely spacious enough to hold everyone. And that includes the sound and camera folks. A masterfully choreographed fight including shaving cream and deodorants ensues and we still don’t know why. Oh wait, I know why. Because the story of TMWTGG is terribly paper-thin so that every excuse to have us a bit of a fight is a good one. But don’t worry, things will drastically improve within five minutes when Bond targets a man’s groin, threatening with castration. 007 at large.
3 – Meeting you, with a view to a kill? Thrill? Spill? That’s it! Spill. Spilling my guts over what happens when Bond travels to Paris. The Eiffel Tower once supported Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn dancing and singing about how much they love the French capital. But not Bond. Instead, Bond will go after a parachute assassin (granted, it’s less boring than a regular bomber) by cab. Paris… full of traffic… a car does seem like a smart move doesn’t it? Unfortunately, Bond didn’t bring a Q-made Transformer to the game so he now has to rely on the first thing he can find: a cab parked in a tourist hot zone but refusing service because of lunch. Makes sense… I guess. An impatient Bond drags the poor man out of his car and proceeds by violating the Code Napoléon in more ways than humanly possible. Meanwhile, the cab driver goes off his rocker, shouting something like “crazy English” though it sounds a lot more like “José English”. Perhaps José English is Johnny English’ Mexican cousin who at one point had visited Paris too. Perhaps he too demolished the cab driver’s car in pursuit of a slowly descending parachute assassin, which might explain why the driver keeps running after the car like a Benny Hill stand-in. His arms and legs perform an embarrassing dance which even the inmates of an insane asylum would laugh at. Good for us, Ian Fleming created his superspy from all of his wartime experience so that he can neatly cut a car if half and then in half again and still drive up l’Avenue des Champs-Élysées unscathed. But you haven’t been paying attention, have you. It’s clearly not Bond behind the wheels but a guy with a wig, posing as Bond. Maybe it really was José English.
"Favorite allies
1 – Ali Kerim Bey. Meet the man who planted more sons in the ground than a French farmer plants onions. He keeps a mistress around who can’t get enough of his love making and he has access to a periscope that cunningly peeks into the Russian embassy. Kerim Bey is so cool, even his cigar smoking toys are passed on from father to son. But, he had an interesting life and during his final days, he proved a charming and very useful ally to Bond.
2 – “I’m bleeding chips here.” Odd expression but coming from the brother from Langley, one immediately gets the point. Felix Leiter, lifted from the pages of the master himself, had occasionally been done terrible disservice over the decades. But Jeffrey Wright got him right from the get-go. His few brief moments in the Craig films so far are amazing. And thanks to him, I know why people eat the peppers but keep the fruit.
3 – Tell a Japanese guy you love him and the next thing you know, you’re a ninja, married to a girl with a face like a pig and raiding a hollowed out volcano. Still, you can meet Tiger tonight… Tanaka, what a secret service powerhouse he is. He moves through Tokyo via train, keeps a house full of willing women and controls an island of ninjas. It’s actually cute how he overestimates M’s homeland indulgences. But Tiger is tough, resourceful and most of all respectable.
Least favorite allies
1 – Leave it to Lt. Hip to demonstrate a maximum screw-up even more efficiently than Bond with a speedboat propeller. He’s unable to get the Solex agitator from a horny and semi-drunk Gibson in the Bottoms-Up club, he doesn’t notice a midget getting away with it instead and he arrests one of the world’s deadliest spies but doesn’t tell him anything, which might have resulted in his death in any other film but this one. Worst of all, this man fails to notice the difference between having his most important passenger outside versus inside the car. How bad is that? Of course this is a direct consequence of Hip bringing his nieces to official business… because in Hong Kong, you babysit while taking care of your police duties. As a punishment, Hip at one point disappears from the movie without a trace. He probably decided to keep his job as a peanut seller.
2 – “Just what the hell are you trying to do, 007? Start World War III?” Locked away in a pleasure boat, CIA operative Felix Leiter does a stake-out on an American arms dealer. Makes perfect sense. But when played, most reluctantly I might add, by John Terry, all life is sucked out of the character Dracula style. Terry sells pictures of him as Leiter at Comic Con like conventions, but hates questions about TLD during Q&A sessions. I speak from experience. Twice I asked him what it was like working on a Bond film, twice he avoided my question with an angry face, almost as if I was inquiring after his masturbation habits. Every time I see Leiter in TLD, I’m taken out of the film, repulsed as I am by the disdain the actor has for the film and for his part in it. Just what the hell were you trying to do, John. Act?
3 – “Chuck Lee, CIA. It’s an honor working with double-oh-seven.” Such an honor in fact that he has to dress up and get an actual job as a fish seller in a San Francisco market place. Because how else are you going to meet up with 007? It’s one thing to keep a cover, it’s another thing to then proceed by broadcasting your admiration for Bond and handing him photographs of evil Nazi doctors with loads of people just standing around. Also, “Mister O’Rourke!” – “Hiya!” Making quite a scene there. But hey, perhaps Chucky likes theatrics. Too bad he fails to spot the shadowy figure in his rocking car though. Checking the backseat isn’t part of standard CIA training I guess.
Favorite henchmen
1 – Blessed is he who has a loyal servant like Gobinda to rely on. An imposing man, won’t be seduced to a night cap, will exit a flying plane if that’s what it takes to get a British spy off the wings, and he doesn’t mind decapitating a Gorilla. (Trust me, it makes sense if you put it into context.)
2 – Xenia Onatopp. I guess the unusual part is that Bond slept with this one, something I bet he’d never do with Oddjob. Onatopp is quite the character though. A cold blooded killer, a vixen, a powerful adversary. She gets off on some pretty dangerous and lethal stuff. It was a bold move to have her in the film and while it’s been 20 years, not a single Bond girl since has reached her level of “whoa” (Keanu style).
3 – Bond may not have slept with Oddjob but there were sparks in their relationship. Look, you can’t beat Oddjob in the henchman department. What an invention! I’m not even talking about the hat, though that little thing is cool in and by itself. But Barry’s musical cues for Oddjob and his relaxed appearance are pure gold. Get it? Gold?
Least favorite henchmen
1 – Mister Kil, now there’s a name to die for. Well, there’s more to die for in DAD, let’s be honest. Mister Kil is especially a problem for me because he reminds me that I’m six and stupid. Not only is he called Mister Kil (in a film that also features a Jinx and Moon), but he also has that evil grin on his face that speaks volumes about how evil he really is. Because the writers were too lazy the day they wrote the entire script for DAD to give this man some interesting traits, they expect the name and the facial expressions to suffice. Never mind, they must have thought, he’ll use the lasers…
2 – Elvis has left the building… the hairdresser’s building that is. What does a guy like Greene want with a toupee wearing wimp who checks out a bodyguard during Tosca and trips over Strawberry’s shoe? I’m not saying the man is terrible but he gets nothing interesting to do in the film.
3 – Because we hadn’t had our share of blonde killers yet, Herr Stamper was introduced in 1997. Trained in the arts of torture by another expert in torture – though somehow we never actually get a torture scene in TND – Stamper is but a single brain cell away from Duke Nukem. He goes splatter on surviving sailors with a heavy machine gun, speaks like a child and basically bullies his way through the film. But that’s all there is to him, rendering him uninteresting, bland and very forgettable.
Favorite and least favorite PTS / finale
My favorite PTS is hands-down the CR one. It’s short and concise but powerful and adrenalized and it summarizes everything we need to know about Craig. A dry sense of humor, an unmatched toughness, tremendous acting skills and an impressive physique. Add to that the outstanding cinematography, including two types of grainy film stock, and some of Arnold’s best music ever, and you have what I can only describe as perhaps the single most efficient and remarkable PTS in the series to date.
My least favorite PTS – but ask me again tomorrow and it might have changed – is in AVTAK. Technically it’s one big excuse for five minutes of action but there’s hardly any story there let alone anything that makes much difference for the rest of the film. Granted, that is the case with OP too but at least that PTS is full of fun. In AVTAK, however, we see a white grizzly discover a corpse in the ice, take a microchip – zoom in on the microchip – and suddenly some Russians with big bad guns come after him. From there on, it’s skiing and shooting and hardly anything else. Meanwhile, a helicopter keeps patrolling the place, only to be taken out with a flare. I haven’t even discussed the Beach Boys and I won’t. The final minute or so, with Old Rog taking a young blonde to bed, is perhaps the only thing about this otherwise useless PTS I can actually enjoy. Somebody please tell me why a microchip couldn’t have been discovered in a slightly more fascinating way? Have Bond sneak into the labs, make him use his wits, show him perform some cunning moves! Nah, we’ll just keep a dead body conveniently lying around in the snow, and then we’ll just fight and fight some more. Poor writing, fellas. At this point in the series, the PTS had become a burden rather than an advantage. Instead of using these amusing few minutes as a chance to get us all worked up and excited, the writers were just throwing in some afterthoughts. MR had copied TSWLM, albeit with some amazing aerial stunt work, FYEO had given us one extended joke but totally separated from the rest of the film, OP had been all about getting to the cool little plane as fast as possible but once again failed to tie it in with the rest of the film and AVTAK… well, read the above.
The one climax that never fails to enthrall me is in TLD. It’s climax after climax, epic and rich in Bondian exquisiteness. After the airbase invasion and subsequent battle, Bond takes off in that giant Boeing only to face more fights, first a chilling one with Necros, then a race against time. We’re losing fuel fast and meanwhile, our partners on the ground are taking heavy beatings. Dropping the bomb results in a spectacular collapse of a colossal bridge and then we need to get out of a crashing plane. No sooner have we survived all of this mayhem than we’re right back in the field confronting a power-hungry arms dealer with an arsenal of firearms ready to blast the living hell out of his own house just to get Bond eliminated. All the while, Barry’s been on fire and Dalton, such a strong Bond, has given us his all.
Can I talk about CR67 now? Okay, I won’t. Fine, DAF then. Look, I love DAF for what it is but man, that climax sucks big time. An oil rig? Meh. And guards basically dressed up as workers? No wonder Austin Powers made fun of that. Those aren’t military operatives or tough guys. I’m even suspicious of their guns. Wouldn’t be surprised if those were cut out from wood or cardboard and then painted black. The success of the operation will basically come down to a cassette – I mean, come on! – and rather than having Bond shot, Blofeld throws him in an out-of-sight chamber from where it’s so easy to escape, one wonders if Blofeld wants it that way. The helicopters are pretty useless and we hardly know how to deal with Blofeld once he’s trapped in that little sub. Tiffany, a tragic character in the book, shoots herself backwards in the water and Bond takes a dive while the rig somehow explodes. Suffering from severe fatigue after all this nonsense, we have yet to encounter Wint and Kidd. This climax has only one saving grace: Bruce Glover. Everyone else simply seemed not to care.
Favorite and least favorite line
“That last hand, nearly killed me.” What a line; what a delivery!
The line I really don’t like is “Yoh momma. And she told me to tell you she’s really disappointed in you.” Wait, who hired the screenwriters of Leprechaun V: Back 2 Da Hood for a Bond film?"
*cracks whip at the air as Dimi slaves over answering more questions*
So stop playing with your whips, boys, & get the last set of questions out here pronto! ;)
(I knew I shouldn't have been watching I Claudius yesterday...)
Such detailed answers, and a pleasure to read. I soooooo agree on the fave PTS, btw. :x
What . a . stellar . performance!
I've put my name on this, not sure I could come up with something as interesting as the guys interviewed so far. Not great with the words unfortunately.