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"I've no idea what an honest job is."
<font color=red><b>... your mother-in-law catches you in horizontal heaven with another girl/boy</b></font>
"A private little matter, my friend, between the young woman and myself."
<font color=red><b>... on the train, the man next to you has fartingly fouled up the air.</b></font>
"You're the only man to ever make me cry."
<font color=red><b>... you arrive too late at a party.</b></font>
"Should have brought more people."
<font color=red><b>... you want to tell your wife / husband that her / his cooking is just not good.</b></font>
"I might never see you again."
<font color=red><b>... hooded juvies try to mug you.</b></font>
"Many people have tried to involve themselves in my affairs. Unsuccessfully."
<font color=red><b>... you wish to go to the bathroom.</b></font>
"Can you swim?"
<font color=red><b>... your boss catches you playing video games during work.</b></font>
"I hope our little game isn't causing you to perspire."
<font color=red><b>... your teacher catches you cheating on a test.</b></font>
"I'm having a hard time seeing how this is my fault."
<font color=red><b>... the guy in front of you keeps talking during the movie.</b></font>
"It's like there's blood on my hands. It's not coming off."
<font color=red><b>... you are introduced to your new and very attractive boss.</b></font>
"Heads up, gentlemen."
<font color=red><b>... you have a bad hair day.</b></font>
"Afternoon. How's it looking topside?"
<font color=red><b>.... you are arrested for indecent exposure during a student prank situation.</b></font>
"I thought we dispensed with covers."
<font color=red><b>... the lovely nurse asks you to get undressed.</b></font>[/quote]
"You're going to pass out in a few seconds."
<font color=red><b>... you accidentally run into your boss at a strip club.</b></font>[/quote]
"You didn't come here to play golf."
"The Bottoms up?!"
<font color=red size=5><b>... someone failed miserably at telling a joke.</b></font>
"You must excuse me, gentlemen, not being English, I sometimes find your sense of humor rather difficult to follow!"
<font color=red size=5><b>... your partner catches you going through a naughty magazine.</b></font>
Awesome!!!! :P
"My dear girl, don't flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for Queen and country. You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"
From Die Another Day
"I have been known to keep my tip up"
"Whatever is left of me, whatever I am, I'm yours"
"It's amazing what one can do with an extra pair of hands"
Wow, absolutely hilarious, @WillyGalore! :P
I don't know whether that's sarcasm or not! ;-)