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The James Bond Limerick Thread

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  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    So glad I started this thread. Loving your work everyone. :-)
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    WillyGalore wrote:
    So glad I started this thread. Loving your work everyone. :-)

    Thanks for starting it! Best thread going!
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited April 2014 Posts: 6,396
    She's not just a woman who answers the phone
    The way she flirts with Bond, it's all in her tone
    M wasn't amused
    His time was abused
    'Penny was replaced with Miss Smallbone
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    @QBranch is the man from Down Under
    Whose farts are louder than thunder
    He gave us a wink
    "It's much worse than you think
    I've had an unfortunate trouser blunder"
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,662
    It's nice to know I'll be remembered as 'the guy who sharted'.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    QBranch wrote:
    It's nice to know I'll be remembered as 'the guy who sharted'.

    I can't say much myself mind after last night's chilli ;-)
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    Largo is the man with the eyepatch
    He's strong and will leave you with more than a scratch
    He was killed by his own niece
    And now he's at peace
    After Domino popped up from a hatch
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Brosnan-the best Bond ever!
    Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Craig-never!
    The films that matter are four
    How could you ask for more?
    (@Thunderfinger, that was clever.)
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Limericks are so much more fun that haikus aren't they @Thunderfinger? ;-) :D
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Grrrr...I admit it.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    Grrrr...I admit it.

    I'm just kidding. There's been more involvement with the haikus.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    So come over there and admit that! English limerick snob! :-w
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    So come over there and admit that! English limerick snob! :-w

    I admit. NOTHING! [-X
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Hahaha. Yeah, this thread is more fun. For now. Mine is more culturally superior.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    Hahaha. Yeah, this thread is more fun. For now. Mine is more culturally superior.

    I'm far more a lowbrow kind of guy ;-)
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    You don t say?
  • CrabKeyCrabKey
    Posts: 2,022
    There once was a chap name Bond
    who'd shag anything brunette or blonde
    His life was too racy
    Until he met Tracy
    But Ernst sent her one step beyond
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    edited April 2014 Posts: 6,396
    Very nice @CrabKey. :-)
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    The giant killer called Jaws
    On human necks he gnaws
    But now he met Dolly
    and turned rather jolly,
    started amending his flaws
    jaws_412185.jpg
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    =D>
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited April 2014 Posts: 28,694
    Towards the inquiry Bond headed in a dash
    His life and that of his boss repeating in a flash
    As Tennyson is recited with grace
    Spot a spy with a determined face
    A Phoenix risen once again from the ash
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Sanchez, that druglord bloke
    of loyalty often spoke
    For revenge Bond was yearning
    Now Sanchez is burning
    No more excellent coke
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    0BradyM0Bondfanatic7 wrote:
    Towards the inquiry Bond headed in a dash
    His life and that of his boss repeating in a flash
    As Tennyson is recited with grace
    Spot a spy with a determined face
    A Phoenix risen once again from the ash
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    Sanchez, that druglord bloke
    of loyalty often spoke
    For revenge Bond was yearning
    Now Sanchez is burning
    No more excellent coke
    :-bd
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    edited April 2014 Posts: 24,247
    Now that the nasty job was done
    Time for revenge had finally come
    The bitch was dead
    On a Venice boat he said:
    "The journey home will not take long."
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,662
    Arrival of a tarot card that made Bond twig
    Discovers that our Rosie works for Mr. Big
    The pointing of a gun
    But the answers never come
    Just a silence when the scarecrow shoots her out of her wig
  • JWESTBROOKJWESTBROOK
    edited April 2014 Posts: 5,745
    Tried to work with the now infamous line.

    His home glowing and growing hotter
    M being brought out to slaughter
    With Silva on the way
    The only thing Bond has to say
    Is "I fell into some deep water."
  • JWESTBROOKJWESTBROOK
    edited April 2014 Posts: 5,745
    A fellow spy with the desire to conspire
    Bond should have known Trevelyan was a liar
    He returns from heaven
    To fight Double-O-Seven
    With the entire World in the crossfire.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    You're all so good at these. =D>
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Crab Key had a doctor called No
    Of East and of West a foe
    He painted his wagon
    to look like a dragon
    gave Quarrel a flaming blow.
  • WillyGaloreWillyGalore
    Posts: 6,396
    Thunderfinger wrote:
    Crab Key had a doctor called No
    Of East and of West a foe
    He painted his wagon
    to look like a dragon
    gave Quarrel a flaming blow.

    :-bd
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