Strawberry awards for Bond's "Hall of Shame"

edited May 2014 in Bond Movies Posts: 2,341
Have we touched on this before? If so, then I stand corrected. If not, then let it rip.
My nominations:
Worst film MR
Worst villian Drax
Worst song DAD by Madonna
Worst gadget Invisible Aston Martin from DAD
Worst girl Holly Goodhead from MR
Worst FX DAF
Worst scheme DAF ( It is never clear just what Blofeld wants to accomplish here. Is it money? Makes me wonder, how much money would satisfy a guy who owns a diamond encrusted satellite)
Worst PTS TMWTGG
Worst Screenplay TMWTGG
Worst Bond Pierce Brosnan

Be interested in hearing comments or your nominations...
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Comments

  • Posts: 2,491
    Worst film DAD
    Worst villian Dominice Green
    Worst song QoS
    Worst gadget There's no such a thing as a worst gadget
    Worst girl Holly Goodhead
    Worst FX DAF
    Worst scheme MR
    Worst Screenplay TMWTGG
  • edited April 2014 Posts: 12,525
    Worst Movie: A View to a Kill
    Worst Villain: Gustav Graves
    Worst Song: Die Another Day
    Worst Gadget: If it counts, then the Invisible Aston Martin
    Worst Girl: Stacey Sutton
    Worst FX: Die Another Day
    Worst Scheme: Moonraker
    Worst Screenplay: Die Another Day
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited May 2014 Posts: 2,629
    Film: DAD
    Villian: Graves
    Song: DAD
    Gadget: Invisible Aston Martin
    Girl: Jinx
    Effects: Iceberg Parasailing
    Scheme: Genetic alteration in order to split up Korea via space.
    Screenplay: DAD

    Non-DAD Nominations:

    Film: MR
    Villian: DAF Blofeld
    Song: Another Way To Die
    Gadget: Radioactive lint
    Girl: Anya
    Effects: QOS
    Scheme: Destroy Earth from Space and repopulate with "perfect specimens"
    Screenplay: DAF
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,361
    Worst film TMWTGG
    Worst villian Koskov
    Worst song Only Myself to Blame.
    Worst gadget Scaramanga's Flying Car.
    Worst girl Mary Goodnight.
    Worst FX YOLT
    Worst scheme FRWL (Controversal I know, but the villain's plan was to steal a Decoding machine, not very grand.)
    Worst Screenplay Die Another Day.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited April 2014 Posts: 28,694
    Murdock wrote:
    Worst film TMWTGG
    Worst villian Koskov
    Worst song Only Myself to Blame.
    Worst gadget Scaramanga's Flying Car.
    Worst girl Mary Goodnight.
    Worst FX YOLT
    Worst scheme FRWL (Controversal I know, but the villain's plan was to steal a Decoding machine, not very grand.)
    Worst Screenplay Die Another Day.

    Well, it was a realistic scheme, but I don't know if that necessarily makes it bad. At that time especially code-breakers or machines that could replace the human labor of code-breaking were very valued as I'm sure you know, so it's actually quite an important/invaluable object in the Cold War thriller that is FRWL. I agree that it isn't as flashy or ambitious as say, hitching a rocket up to space to restart the human race with superior specimens as the earth's population is wiped out, but I love it for its faithfulness to real world spycraft. It's one of those elements (or objects) I could see a Hitchcock spy film being centered around as well. I've never been a fan of the more sci-fi flavored schemes in the Bond series anyway; I'm much more suited to realism or the believably fantastical.
  • MurdockMurdock The minus world
    Posts: 16,361
    Well I don't mean worst as in bad, I go by the seriousness of the villain's plot. like Drax, Silly yes, is quite serious. The death of all life on Earth is pretty serious but I wouldn't call that grounds for being the worst.
  • Worst film - QOS
    Worst villian - OHMSS's Blofeld
    Worst song - QOS
    Worst gadget - There's no such a thing as a worst gadget
    Worst girl - May Day or Tiffany Case
    Worst FX - Dr No
    Worst scheme - FYEO
    Worst Screenplay - OHMSS
  • Posts: 414
    Worst film - Moonraker
    Worst villian - Gustav Graves
    Worst song - For Your Eyes Only (Apologies to Sheena Easton, but if I had to pick a worst)
    Worst gadget - Moonraker's amphibian gondola
    Worst girl - Natalya
    Worst FX - Die Another Day
    Worst scheme - Skyfall (Loved the movie, but Silva's "plan years in the making" had some pretty big errors in judgment)
    Worst Screenplay - Moonraker
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    Worst film - Diamonds Are Forever
    Worst villain - Gray's Blofeld
    Worst song - The Man With The Golden Gun
    Worst gadget - Vanish
    Worst girl - Mary Goodnight
    Worst FX - Die Another Day
    Worst scheme - Moonraker - utterly preposterous
    Worst Screenplay - Diamonds Are Forever
  • MayDayDiVicenzoMayDayDiVicenzo Here and there
    Posts: 5,080
    Worst film- Die Another Day
    Worst villian- Gustav Graces
    Worst song- Another Way to Die
    Worst gadget- DAD Invisible car
    Worst girl- Jinx
    Worst FX- Die Another Day. DAF had better FX, and that was in '71
    Worst scheme- The Man With the Golden Gun AND Die Another Day
    Worst Screenplay- Die Another Day
  • edited April 2014 Posts: 1,405
    My awards:

    Worst film: TMWTGG (at least DAD is really good for the first 60 minutes)
    Worst villian: Karl Stromberg
    Worst song: Another Way to Die, From Russia with Love and Thunderball close runner-ups
    Worst gadget: Invisible Aston Martin from DAD
    Worst girl: Lisl von schlaf, I find her particularly repulsive
    Worst FX: You only live twice
    Worst scheme: The Spy who Loved Me, which is really an underwater You Only Live Twice.
    Worst Screenplay TMWTGG
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489

    Worst film: DAD-worse than CR67
    Worst villian: Graves
    Worst song: The Experience of Love
    Worst gadget: Bondola
    Worst girl: May Day
    Worst FX: DAD (surfing scene)
    Worst scheme: DAD
    Worst Screenplay:DAD
    Worst Bond: Pierce Brosnan
  • Posts: 5,634
    Worst release - Die Another Day
    Worst Villain - Karl Stromberg
    Worst Song - Keys and White / Another way to die
    Worst Gadget - Explosive alarm clock (wasn't even utilized)
    Worst Girl - Halle Berry / Giacinta Johnson
    Worst F/X - wave surf / Die Another Day
    Worst Scheme - Dominic Greene / Bolivian water supply / Quantum of Solace
    Worst Screenplay - Diamonds are Forever
    Worst Bond - Pierce Brosnan
  • edited May 2014 Posts: 7,653
    Worst film -QoB
    Worst villian - Koskov (should have gone with fellow dutchie Hauer)
    Worst song by Keys and White / Another way to die
    Worst gadget - the sony advertisements with material in CR was quite annoying
    Worst girl -Vesper Lynd, blame the scriptwriters for her bland performance
    Worst FX - DAD, the famously poor sfx surfing scene in Iceland
    Worst scheme - Silvas scheme especially the response from MI6 that allowed a lunatic run free including military helicopters being employed and no SAS around anywhere.
    Worst Screenplay -SF, plothole upon plothole it was more about being cool than logical.
    Worst Bond - Timothy Dalton
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,264
    Worst film TMWTGG
    Worst villian Zorin
    Worst song AWTD
    Worst gadget the pen-for-poisoned-pen-letters (look, if CR67 does it first, you know you can't do it again)
    Worst girl Fields (so much potential, so little accomplished)
    Worst FX DAD (handsdown THE worst)
    Worst scheme DAF (I mean: what's the point?)
    Worst Screenplay TMWTGG
  • edited April 2014 Posts: 19,339
    Worst film DAF
    Worst villain Blofeld (DAF)
    Worst song AWTD (QOS)
    Worst gadget The Bondola (MR)
    Worst girl Tilly Masterton (GF - couldnt act for toffee)
    Worst FX DAD
    Worst scheme MR
    Worst Screenplay DAF
    Worst Bond George Lazenby
  • pachazopachazo Make Your Choice
    Posts: 7,314
    Worst Film - Die Another Day
    Worst Villain - Gray's Blofeld (If he wasn't supposed to be Blofeld I could tolerate him.)
    Worst Song - The Man With The Golden Gun
    Worst Gadget - The Vanquish
    Worst Girl - Jinx
    Worst FX - Diamonds Are Forever
    Worst Scheme - Die Another Day
    Worst Screenplay - Die Another Day
  • LicencedToKilt69007LicencedToKilt69007 Belgium, Wallonia
    Posts: 523
    Worst film : QOS
    Worst villains : Dominic Greene and Gustav Graves
    Worst songs : AWTD and DAD
    Worst Gadget : Scaramanga's flying car
    Worst Girl : Jinx
    Worst FX : DAD
    Worst schemes : DAF and QOS
    Worst screenplay : DAD
    Worst Bond : George Lazenby
  • Posts: 2,341
    I want to thank everyone for their contributions. Keep them coming.

    @Mirandafrost at the risk of getting flamed, OHMSS the worst screenplay? Dick Maibaum has always said that it was his BEST Bond script. I cannot agree with what you say here but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
    :)
  • Posts: 1,596
    Worst Film: The Man with the Golden Gun
    Worst Villain: Aries Kristatos
    Worst Song: Die Another Day
    Worst Gadget: Bondola
    Worst Girl: Jinx Johnson
    Worst SFX: Die Another Day
    Worst Scheme: Skyfall
    Worst Screenplay: Die Another Day
    Worst 007: George Lazenby
  • Posts: 15,234
    Kerim wrote:
    Film: DAD
    Villian: Graves
    Song: DAD
    Gadget: Invisible Aston Martin
    Girl: Jinx
    Effects: Iceberg Parasailing
    Scheme: Genetic alteration in order to split up Korea via space.
    Screenplay: DAD

    Non-DAD Nominations:

    Film: MR
    Villian: DAF Blofeld
    Song: Another Way To Die
    Gadget: Radioactive lint
    Girl: Anya
    Effects: QOS
    Scheme: Destroy Earth from Space and repopulate with "perfect specimens"
    Screenplay: DAF

    That pretty much sums it up for me.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 14,003
    Worst Film :: Quantum Of Solace
    Worst Villian :: Dominic Greene
    Worst Song :: Alicia Keys and Jack White - Another Way To Die
    Worst Gadget :: The Bondola (Moonraker)
    Worst Girl :: Stacy Sutton
    Worst FX :: Quantum Of Solace - The Freefall
    Worst Scheme :: Quantum Of Solace
    Worst Screenplay :: Casino Royale (it's chock full of the series most vomit inducing dialogue)
    Worst Bond :: Daniel Craig
  • Posts: 15,234
    Murdock wrote:
    Well I don't mean worst as in bad, I go by the seriousness of the villain's plot. like Drax, Silly yes, is quite serious. The death of all life on Earth is pretty serious but I wouldn't call that grounds for being the worst.

    Sorry but however you cut it, the scheme in FRWL is the most intelligent and realistic of the series and one of the best, if not the best. The death of all life on earth, if it is achieved through implausible means, is not very good. The humiliation of MI6 through a plan both ruthless and manipulative, however, is brilliant. FRWL has many qualities, its scheme is one of its strongest points.
  • Posts: 19,339
    Ludovico wrote:
    Murdock wrote:
    Well I don't mean worst as in bad, I go by the seriousness of the villain's plot. like Drax, Silly yes, is quite serious. The death of all life on Earth is pretty serious but I wouldn't call that grounds for being the worst.

    Sorry but however you cut it, the scheme in FRWL is the most intelligent and realistic of the series and one of the best, if not the best. The death of all life on earth, if it is achieved through implausible means, is not very good. The humiliation of MI6 through a plan both ruthless and manipulative, however, is brilliant. FRWL has many qualities, its scheme is one of its strongest points.

    Agree 100% with this.

  • Posts: 11,189
    If it had felt like their genuinely was a threat to life in MR then I may have believed it more. As it is I never really felt earth was in much danger as the whole film was treated as a joke.
  • Posts: 1,492
    Worst Film :: Die another day
    Worst Villian :: Gustav Graves and Elliott Carver
    Worst Song :: Sheryl Crow + Madonna
    Worst Gadget : an Aston Martin goes invisible
    Worst Girl :: Jinx Johnson + Christmas Jones
    Worst FX :: anything involving tidal waves and SFX in Die another Day
    Worst Scheme :: TWINE, Bond unravels a scheme to increase petroleum prices by triggering a nuclear meltdown in the waters of Istanbul. Yeah right.
    Worst Screenplay :: Nothing but nothing beats the schlop served as DADs script
    Worst Bond :: Pierce Brosnan
  • Posts: 6,022
    My turn :

    Worst Movie : Diamonds are Forever
    Worst Villain : Blofeld in DAF
    Worst Song : Another way to Die (runner-ups : TMWTGG and DAD)
    Worst Gadget : the Bondola
    Worst girl : Mary Goodnight (sorry, I like my Bond Girls with at least a modicum of brain between the ears)
    Worst FX : Yes, the surf scene in DAD, although honorary mention go to the space scenes in YOLT)
    Worst Scheme : tie between YOLT and TSWLM (what made they think they would survive a nuclear war ?)
    Worst Screenplay : the Hamilton/Moore trilogy.
    Worst Bond : Well, none, really. I like each of them.
  • edited May 2014 Posts: 12,837
    Film- Die Another Day I don't think I need to explain why.
    Villain- Blofeld (DAF) Remember the massive, intimidating master criminal or the samurai loving psychopath of the novels? Yeah, apparently the screenwriters and Guy Hamilton didn't either so here's Charles Gray in drag! I'm fine with the films doing their own thing and being different from the books (I love TSWLM for example) but turning Blofeld, Bond's arch nemesis, into a camp old drag queen was too far.
    Song- Another Way To Die I think it's so awful that it barely even qualifies as music. Shame because I do like Jack White.
    Gadget- The Bondola At least the vanquish, while silly and OTT, would be useful for a spy. The Bondola is not only OTT, it's also useless. When is Bond ever going to need a gondola hovercraft again? Why the hell would he need it in the first place? I have a theory: the henchmen that attacked him weren't Drax's men. They were hired by Q just so MI6 didn't think the Bondola was a massive waste of time and money.
    Girl- Jinx I think Halle Berry is a good actress but she's shit in DAD. Her performance, plus the awful lines Jinx got, make the worst Bond girl. She's fit though.
    FX- Die Another Day Again, I don't think I need to explain why.
    Scheme- YOLT because Blofeld wouldn't even break even. His plan will net him a hundred million dollars. Would that cover the cost of his spaceship, private army and ridiculously flashy volcano lair? His plan in DAF was pretty stupid too but he's been forced to downsize to an oil rig and he's probably gone a bit mental because of Bond defeating him on a regular basis, SPECTRE falling apart and Irma dumping him, so I'll cut him some slack there.
    Screenplay- Die Another Day There are one or two good lines (my favourite is "plenty of ice, if you can spare it"), and it's very fast paced but it's full of cringe worthy dialoge and the plot is crap.
    Bond- George Lazenby. It's not that he did a bad job mind, I don't think any of the actors were bad. I think he's probably the closest we've ever gotten to Fleming's character but I also think that he's not the best actor and that he was helped massively by the film around him. I do like him though and I feel bad placing him last, he seems like a laugh in real life too. I like him, I just like the others more.
  • edited May 2014 Posts: 4,622
    Worst Movie : Quantum of Solace
    Worst Villain : Koskov and Whitaker
    Worst Song : Madonna Die Another Day
    Worst Gadget : Craig's blue snuggers
    Worst girl : Eva Green as Vesper, way too crabby
    Worst FX : Slam sunk. Ice berg surfing in DAD
    Worst Scheme : controlling Bolivia's water supply. Yawn.
    Worst Screenplay : Haggis QoS. Death by dialogue and boring story to boot.
    Worst Bond : Craig. Too much melodrama.
  • Posts: 6,396
    Easy. It's all DAD.

    That is all.
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