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What would his Bond do?
This was a classic thread from the old forum- and a funny one too!
Basically what you do is take a moment from a movie and tell us what would the other Bond be like in that scene.
For example:
Casino Royale- the torture scene.
Original: 'Now the whole world's going to know you died scratching my balls!'
Connery: 'You stoph thish niow! I will mhake shure you get yonurs!'
Lazenby: (dubbed) 'OW!'
Moore: 'I guess you're a big fan of Nutcracker.' (cocks eyebrow)
Dalton: 'WATCH THE BALLS YOU BASTARD!'
Brosnan: 'Thanks... for the vasectomy.'
Pretty weak example, but you get the idea.
Basically what you do is take a moment from a movie and tell us what would the other Bond be like in that scene.
For example:
Casino Royale- the torture scene.
Original: 'Now the whole world's going to know you died scratching my balls!'
Connery: 'You stoph thish niow! I will mhake shure you get yonurs!'
Lazenby: (dubbed) 'OW!'
Moore: 'I guess you're a big fan of Nutcracker.' (cocks eyebrow)
Dalton: 'WATCH THE BALLS YOU BASTARD!'
Brosnan: 'Thanks... for the vasectomy.'
Pretty weak example, but you get the idea.
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Comments
SC: Shtop it Moneypenny...You're Embarishing me.
GL: You must give me the name of your Gynecologist
RM: That's nice Moneypenny, we'll have to lick you into shape.
TD: Piss off and listen to Barry Manilow.
DC: Yes I am. >:3
(mods if this is too much, feel free to change it.)
Bond escorting the Queen to the Olympics.
SC: Recognizing protocol, SC would have only lightly slapped the Queen on the butt, then kicked one of the corgi's and said "wrong puppy".
GL: On the way to the Olympics, George mistakenly steps out of the helicopter to pick some flowers for the Queen.
RM: Rog would have raised the eyebrow and, well you know what happens next. Meanwhile everyone panics looking for the Queen. 30 minutes later a live video airs for the world to see finding Rog and Liz, well you know. The BBC announcer says, "I think Roger is going off half-cocked".
TD: The Queen is outraged when Kate tells the Queen, "I love James so much".
PB: Pierce is relieved to find out that he is actually meeting the Queen at Buckingham Palace and not Teri Hatcher, Denise Richards or Halle Berry.
Please forgive me good people of England.
Dench: (for the millionth time) I need to know if I can trust yo-
Dalton: Piss off
"Oh and another thing: PISS OFF!!!"
Scene: The Living Daylights, Saunders get killed by the sliding door
Sean: runs over to his body, gets on one knee and checks for a pulse. Finds balloon and reads it. He pops it with a piece of glass, drunkenly quipping 'That's a gas!'
Lazenby: gasps and faints at the sight of the body.
Moore: runs over to the corpse and is asked by a bystander, 'What happened?' Moore answers: 'He got smashed.'
Brosnan: runs over to the body and cries, hugging what's left of him.
Craig: stares at the body and punches the bar with his fist, whispering 'Motherfu...'
As the film was originally written for Moore, this scene played out different, this was thankfully cut. As Bond bends to Saunder's body the waiter asks if he should get a stretcher, Bond replies, "Better make that two!" I'm glad they had the sense to cut that.
The Situation: Bond is hanging by his fingertips, above the grinder.
What is said: Switch the bloody machine off.
What the other Bonds might say:
Connery: Shwitch the bloody machine off, you shilly bitch.
Lazenby: *in the voice of Sir Hillary* Would you be so terribly kind as to switch that machine off.
Moore: You switch the machine off and i'll buy you an ice cream.
Brosnan: The names Barnd, James Barnd... buy me a pint.
Craig: *mumbles*
Connery: I never mish you shtupid girl
Lazenby: *cries* we have all the time in the world now
Moore: Some cheesy one liner I can't think of
Dalton: I never miss, bitch
Craig: mumbles
DC: I can't seem to find the stationary, would you come and help me look for it?
Connery: Now look here Fieldsh, you and I sheem to have gotten off on the wrong foot, now be a good girl and come in here and run my bath...
Lazenby: Oh, um, we seem to be alone, I'm going to use the Bathroom now, could you turn on the radio, I'm awfully shy...
Moore: Ah, Miss Fields, didn't you say something about... (Arches Eyebrow..) Handcuffs?
Brozzer: Miss Fields, I've had this suit on since yesterday, and now it's got too close... too close for comfort... now if you we're to help me out of this sticky situation, then perhaps I'd live to die again another day tomorrow...
LTK: Bond sets Sanchez on fire
Sanchez: You could have had everything.
Dalton: Don't you want to know why?
Connery: Mind ifsh I has a smoken?
Lazenby: Please noooo! Don't kill meee!
Moore: I don't have the... burning passion. *cock eyebrows*
Brosnan: Why don't you lighten up? *turns invisble and sets a confused Sanchez on fire*
Craig: Oh hell, just die already.
Le Chiffre - 'Tell me, what's the password - please'
Craig - 'Would you mind, I have a little itch down there'
Connery - 'Stop, thish fushing nonshense, and pash me a malt whishky'
Lazenby - 'This never happened to the other fellow - down under'
Moore - 'This is going to raise more than my eyebrows'
Dalton - 'Stop this bloody nonsense, this is bad for my reputation'
Brosnan - 'Maybe you shouldn't be dooooooooooooooooooooooing this'
You'll forgive me if I leave
Goodnight I-)
SC: Did you shlap her on the bum? You did. Good laddie. Show her whosh bossh.
GL: Mommy was shot to death you idiot! Twelve beers later, GL wins a drunken fight against Silva.
RM: Silva, this is no country for old men. Now, let's end this silly discussion and play hide the sausage with Severine.
TD: Scowls and then sets Silva on fire. Follows up with Mommy met her Lady Macbeth.
PB: But mommy is good when's she's bad. Damn it, Lee Tamahori is channeling my thoughts again.
Connery - "You musht have undereshtimated my shkillsh, did you now, lassh? I oughta shlap you in the mouth while drinking my martini."
Lazenby - *in Hilary Bray's voice* I understand that I did the wrong deed ma'am. I beg you to retain your faith in me and keep me on my job.
Moore - (M finds Bond naked under the sheets) "I also found out what 'M' is supposed to mean. I decided to find out if you live up to your name" *raises his brow*
Dalton - "Do you really want to know why?" *burns M alive together with her house*
Brosnan - "Lock's looose, security's low. I recommend that for a head of a clandestine government agency YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING IN HERE!"