10 things I like about cinemas
1. The movie experience. Great image and sound. No matter how amazing home theatre experiences can be nowadays, I cannot imagine they are likely to top the super-sized screens of a cinema complex.
2. Being able to buy tickets online and selecting your seats at the same time. I prefer to sit in the middle of the middle row. The sooner I buy my tickets, the better chance I have at ending up right where I want to be.
3. Special events, hosted by celebrities and whatnot. Some cinemas labour hard these days to pull us in and by means of Q&A's, autograph session and such, they succeed I'd say. ;-)
4. Candy, snacks, sodas, ... They're far from healthy, which explains why I don't keep them at home. But when going to the theatre, I don't mind a can of Dr. Pepper and some sweets (though nothing too crunchy preferably because of the annoying sound).
5. For large cinema complexes: some of them have almost transformed into a giant shopping mall, with film-related and other types of stores, restaurants and pubs attached to them. It can mean fun occasionally.
6. For small local cinemas: I love the nostalgic flavours some of them have kept. They're sweet in a way and there's a certain kind of artsy films I like to watch in them.
7. The social experience, although I'm mostly an introverted person myself. But the truth is, I sometimes, though rarely, go out and watch a film all by myself. It usually involves a horror film or some obscure Japanese anime that neither the girlfriend or my other friends feel inclined to watch. It happens that there are at most three people in the theatre and sometimes we hook up, though we don't know each other, to celebrate our specific fan boy connection. (I have also had the honour of being there all by myself, which suits me just fine actually. ;-))
8. Sometimes my local theatre allows me to take home a film poster after the film has had its run. I still have fond memories of riding home on my bike with a large poster of Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale under my left arm. One can do worse than ride home with Rebecca Romijn. ;-) Other posters I obtained include The Hobbit, Max Payne 3 (a video game, I know, but ironically one that offers more film moments than actual interactive playing) and A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010). No luck with the Bonds so far.
9. Silly thing, this, but cinemas can offer cooling in the Summer and heating in the Winter season.
10. Sometimes, cinemas show other things than recently released films, like older films, Halloween packs of horror films, operas, television marathons (like the entire first season of 24... requiring almost 24 hours (!) of your time.) I praise them for those events.
10 things I hate about cinemas
1. People who talk during the movie. I want them removed and tortured, long and extensively. You want to talk? Go next door to the strip club, but let me focus on my film please.
2. Cinemas that turn the volume down. Nowadays there's a justified concern among many about us being exposed to all kinds of extremely loud noises. But a film isn't a drum-and-bass event. When an explosion occurs, of course I don't need my ears devastated but let's not over-exaggerate things when turning down the volume to where one can hardly understand any dialogue.
3. Insufficiently cleaned seats. Look, I don't mind a little adventure but a full bucket of popcorn in my seat or half of the previous person's hear and dandruff where my head is supposed to rest, that's just not tolerable. Believe me, I anticipate on the possibility. I always bring a disposable handkerchief in case I'm going to be exposed to a rainforest of person-who-sat-here-before-me. Either way, I blame the cinemas themselves. We pay them more than enough I'd say so a bit of decent cleaning between two films shouldn't be so hard.
4. What's with the prizes of those concessions? You want a coke and a bag of potato chips for you, the wife and the kids, you better bring last month's paycheck with you. The ticket prizes may have gone up, but drinks and snacks cost a fortune. I understand that cinemas too should make a living and all that, but what I pay for one hardly chilled Red Bull can get me a six-pack of Red Bull in my local supermarket. Naturally you can't bring any of that with you.
5. Uneducated film goers. Once the end titles start playing, some folks rush out like there's a virus outbreak or something. Even if it's well known that there's an after-credits scene, people keep running for their lives when that first title had flown up. I shouldn't mind, but it tells me my audience is pretty uneducated when it comes to watching film. Plus, people seem to think that standing up also gives them an excuse to start shouting. Some of us will happily listen to the music, thank you.
6. Long lines at the BO but then, one can nowadays avoid that by purchasing tickets online. That said, when it's all a spur-of-the-moment thing, there's no such luck. What I don't understand is how some families find it normal that they spend fifteen minutes debating which film to see when it's their turn. Make up your mind, please.
7. Crunching, burping, sucking and chewing sounds during the film. I must admit they don't bother me that much but in some cases people get really loud, like abnormally loud. Their homes must shake pretty heavily when they consume a bowl of soup.
8. Smelly people. Sorry folks, but going to the theatre means blending with other people. Please wash up, put on clean clothes and spray a bit of deodorant on yourself. Also, keep your shoes on. Smelly feet is the last thing I need in the theatre. The mixed scents of all the drinks and snacks and candy can be nauseating at times, an extra dose of butyric acid doesn't help much.
9. Kids. KIDS! I could have just stuck to the first point in this list but they deserve some extra attention. I am not against bringing kids to the theatre but please, make it very clear to them - as a part of their education - that they will keep quiet for 90 minutes lest the entire theatre be shushing them after a few minutes. Kids are kids, I know, but when my dad took me some place when I was 7 and I wasn't supposed to talk, he specifically told me so before the event started. Had I so much as dared to speak up, he would have grabbed me and left me, and nevermind the paid for tickets. Is it too much to ask? Also, how come some people drag their infants to a serious drama, which they find ultra-boring anyway and aren't likely to understand? No babysitter, huh? Sorry, but I don't need kids running around and playing hide-and-seek, when I paid 9.50 Euro to get absorbed in a tale of sadness. I accept that parenting isn't always easy, but it also comes with a responsibility. I bet that if I made the neighbour's dog bark all night when the little ones are trying to sleep, those parents would be the first to threaten with poisoning the dog or whatever. Cinemas are neither a zoo nor playground.
10. Cell phones. Can you switch those bloody things off, please? You want to text someone, take pictures, make a call, play Angry Birds or update your Facebook, get out! What's with the lights everywhere, the irritating sounds and beeps and the I-can't-talk-right-now-I'm-in-the-theatre-tomorrow?-sure-you-bring-the-wine? conversations? This is my fist, and it's angry to the point where I have no more control over it. ;-)
Comments
The Good Doctor, as ever, has it nailed :-)
Ten Things I Hate:
1.People talking. Why pay £10 to sit and watch a film only to spend the entire duration talking to the friend sat next to you.
2. People using their mobile phones. Pretty much the same as above. It's not just that you can hear them tapping away on the keyboard but smart phones are illuminated so bright now that it only takes a few people to use them at the same time and the cinema it lit up brighter than a Christmas tree!
3. People eating and drinking. Do you really need 12 gallons of cola to get you through the next two hours? Are you in danger of dying of dehydration? Do you have to slurp on that straw to get the last few f***ing millilitres? Oh and whilst we're at it. Popcorn anyone? Small, Medium or Industrial Sized Vat?
4. 3D. Why?
5. People bringing their children (and I mean babies/toddlers) to an evening showing because they're too bloody cheap or lazy to find a babysitter and only then for said child to scream and cry throughout the film.
6. The lack of (helpful) staff. "Excuse me but the film is out of focus and the projectionist hasn't lined it up correctly on the screen". "I'm sorry sir, it's all done digitally. We have NO projectionist...".
7. Buying your tickets online. So I want to buy two tickets. I know, I'll book online. That's easier and faster for everyone :-) Oh hang on, what's this? It actually looks as though you want to charge me an extra £1.50 for having the nerve to purchase tickets from you. WTF?
8. Long queues at the ticket booth Sod that booking online lark! I'll just buy them in the cinema. Oh hang, what's this? There is no ticket booth. I have to buy my tickets from the concession stand. So now I have to spend 30 minutes in a queue whilst the people in front of me not only want to buy tickets but also decide how much fatty crap they'll be able to shove down their throats before they want to vomit. "Would you like special sauce on your nachos sir?". "No I do not. Just give me my f***ing tickets will you. The f***ing film started 15 f***ing minutes ago!!"
9. Movie experts. You know the type. They constantly have to whisper to their wife/husband/companion/fellow ape to inform them what's about to happen next, only to be invariably wrong. Tits!
10. The person sat behind you...,,,who uses the back of your seat to kick or likes to take their shoes off and put their feet up. There are no words to describe people like you (well, not without using expletives at least).
God yes, those folks can be so bloody annoying. "That's Vin Diesel, right there! See? The bald dude!"
Uh no, this is Casino Royale and LeChiffre's bald henchman is not Vin Diesel.
I know a few people who work in cinema operations management and have raised this point with them. The reason for this is that running a cinema is risky and not hugely profitable (although some, of course, make huge profits) - cinema tickets don't make them a huge amount of money as 50% goes back to the distributor. Concessions are the most profitable part of the business and are what keeps them afloat. Steve Knibbs, who's the COO of the Vue chain in the UK, said that if they halved their concession prices, over 50% of their UK cinemas would make a loss in any given year.
Thanks for that. The truth is like that, you see.
I wasn't aware of that. Thank you, @Sir_James_Moloney. :-)
1) Upcoming trailors. Even for clearly rubbish movies like The Heat.
2) Tiered seating, if it exists.
3) The Odeon Studios in London's Leicester Square. Formerly the Mezzanine, but refurbished. Great Costa Coffee frontage with newspapers to read. Chocolate Brownie is great, but also gluten-free brownie and bakewell tarts! Wheelchair friendly, and the seats are at the back, not right at the front to overwhelm your dear old mum. I took my Mum to see Skyfall there many months after it opened. She has advanced Parkinson's, so a back row seat was just right, it's a bit low key and discreet.
The cinema has loads of b+w prints of days gone by premieres, including of course many a Bond flick.
None of the screens are big, but it's great for catching a film on the second bounce, and tiered seating too.
4) Prince Charles cinema is another good one, with Superman: The Movie reissued in early September there. However, the new leather seats are a bit too high, you can't slouch and still see all the screen.
Dislikes
1) Yeah, people eating, but also they sell scrunchy foods - why? Also popcorn scrapes against the cardboard container. Annoying in quiet films, albeit not blockbusters.
2) Mark-ups sure, but I just bring in my own small water bottle. Do other cinemas check? Mine don't.
3) No EasyJet-style pricing. Surely there can be better discounts for daytime seats, or after a film has been on for a while. Not gonna pay £15 for a B-movie, either.
4) Poor print quality for old classics being reissued. Why is this? Can't something be coordinated with the BFI. I do not want to see a scratchy old print when it would be better to watch on DVD on a flatscreen.
5) Should be more reissues generally, not just the same old stuff at the BFI, which I don't really rate as a cinema, it doesn't feel like one to me.
6) Tall to$$ers. You know, just as you're settling in and you've had the trailers, along he comes, to plonk himself right in front of you, leaving it to the last minute. Thanks a bunch, pal.
7) Any time the volume is not loud enough. Often with older films. Turn it up! Very hard, in that if technically you can actually hear what they say, then what is the problem? says the management.
And some other films do have mumbley dialogue as if it is deliberate, many of the recent Bond films have done this I've found, in particular DAD.
1) The Cinema Experience. Same reason as Dimi really. Just can't be beaten no matter how good your TV is. IMAX especially is great.
2) Trailers. Youtube has ruined this a bit as most trailers I'm likely to watch usually pop up on there but there are still times where I discover a new film that I become excited for. Seeing the Goldeneye trailer at the cinema is one of my favourite memories from when I was a kid.
When I mean trailers though, I mean trailers for films. I don't mean adverts. They piss me off.
3) It's more fun with a crowd. I don't mind watching a film on my own, or with a mate or my fiancé but it's great when you have a crowd there to enjoy it with you. There are moments that wouldn't be the same watching it on TV.
Like when I went to see TWINE, the police clamping the car got soaked by Bond's speedboat and the entire crowd cheered.
Or when I went to see Batman last year. Bane beat the shit out of him and suddenly there was silence and a black screen. It was proper tense, the cinema was completely full but nobody said anything. Then a little girl behind me somewhere asked "is Batman dead?" and everyone laughed.
Things I hate
1) Prices. I'm a bit of a tight git but I refuse to buy popcorn or anything at the cinema. Miles too expensive. The ticket price is bad enough.
2) Mobiles. It doesn't matter if they show Alan Partridge telling you just before the film starts to switch off your phone, some idiots still don't. Pisses me off.
3) People talking during the film. Yes, that's Jason Statham. Well done. Now I don't care if your mate doesn't know who he is, please stop listing things he's been in so I can hear what he has to say to Vin Diesel.
4) 3D. Most of the time this is something I'm free to ignore but sometimes the cinema seems to not show certain 3D films in 2D, forcing me to pay extra for a crap gimmick.
I generally enjoy the theater experience and usually don't get irked too often.
Likes-
1. Climate control. That's about it as my local theater isn't in the mall, although you can walk 2 minutes across the parking lot to one.
Dislikes-
1. Adults and teens talking out loud- they should know better. A quick "shhhhh!" once or twice usually gets the point across.
2. Little kids at a grown up film. Well, here you have to be a parent and settle them down or get them out of there. It's annoying, but most parents will eventually do so fairly quickly in my experience.
3. Babies. The worst! Not than I don't love them, but this is my biggest complaint and I know I sound like some sort of Scrooge (that's coming next). But, you can afford to pay these sorts of prices to get in and buy snacks for your small army, yet you can't afford a sitter??? No class.
4. Concession prices. Interesting point above about gouging your customers to stay afloat. The easy solution from the SirHenryLeeScrooge files? If it's winter or spring, I'll give them their popcorn price from my pocket, and wear a jacket to sneak in candy and drinks. If it's too warm, then they get their soda and popcorn but the candy still gets smuggled in :)
@thelivingroyale- Funner? My, we're killing the Queen's English today, aren't we?
Oops. I'll change that now.
You Americans did that years ago :P
Judging by the tangled wreckage occasionally left here by some of my countrymen, you may have a point. Obviously, I don't have those issues :)
I always did wonder though how such an archaic sounding contraction like "shan't" managed to survive so long amongst "you lot". You Brits definitely have your little colloquialisms, as do we :)
1. Eating - Popcorn is fair enough, but don't come in to a cinema if you haven't had your goddamn dinner! I don't want to smell chilli tacos, or hotdogs, or nachos! I absolutely abhor the kind of people who thinks it's acceptable to go into a cinema with, not a snack, but a meal. Completely ignorant, selfish, fat gits.
2. Arriving late - If you can't be arsed to turn up for a film that you must have booked (because buying a ticket for a movie that's started is borderline mental) don't bother. Accept your loss and re-book it. I don't want people wandering in front of me when the film has started, especially when the film was scheduled to begin at 8pm and it's now 8:30pm, which leads me to...
3. Adverts/Trailer/General nonsense - To add further fuel to the 'arriving late' fire - most cinemas in the UK have around 20-30 mins of utter tosh before the film even begins. I've recently seen 'The World's End', 'Alpha Papa' and 'Kick-Ass 2' at the same cinema, each a week apart. By the time it got to 'Kick-Ass 2', rather than turn up late, I thought I'd time how long the pre-show drivel actually took. It came in at 26 min 38 seconds. I saw a bucket load of nonsensical ads for deodorant, furniture sales, cars, after shave, and two bloody Kevin Bacon EE ads, which I've now seen about 400 f****** times. Kevin Bacon is not enough to sell me 4G, no matter how much you shove it down my throat. If anything I'll go out of my way to avoid it thanks to the constant barrage of Bacon. As someone who is meticulous with time-keeping I really don't like getting to things late, but the cinema is slowly forcing me to dispense with my OCD tendencies.
NB. The BFI IMAX is my cinema of choice, primarily because it only runs trailers, lasting possibly 5 mins. Plus they look delicious on that screen. Trouble is it's £20 a time. The chain cinemas are becoming a joke. In ten years I wouldn't be surprised if the build up to a film is longer than the film, with Star Wars EP: 15 featuring an ad break midway through, to flog some fragrance by a Simon Cowell-managed bunch of fops.
The adverts before that annoy me though. I went to see Kick Ass 2 and they played the same Sky Sports ad three times.
By the 3rd time I was forced to sit through multiple David Beckham's pretending to be regular blokes I felt like cancelling my Sky Sports subscription out of protest.
@SirHenryLeeChaChing I was referring more to the word differences between British English and American English, like football becoming soccer. And before anyone takes me seriously it was only a joke :)
1-2. I visit the same cinema as Die Another Day, because it whas re-opend in 2011. Can't get tickets for 8.30 PM and Tuskinski whas not option because there start the movie around 08.45. I whas realy suprises about that after 3 weeks it be so quike. The second time a Bond movie whas not avaible after DAD, with that movie i visit the Tuskinski first on the release date of 9 January 2003. So we order the tickets for 10.15 PM we go a way and comeback 25 minutes before starting. Then we comeback and there where no place to sit waiting, the room be to small and that also count for the second wait room be darker then it be first. I whant to the 08.30 Pm one because in expecting to get room 2 and that be correct if get tickets. But now we get simalar room as where i saw CR and QOS in Tuskinski.
3. Number of the row count not be easy to see, so everyone in that row must move up a litle. I don't mind that,whyle the movie be so hot we must get a number again.
4. No gunbarrel at the start!
5. The thing with dog whas spoiled for me by somebody in front of me.
6. The movie disapointed, big part be spoiled already.
7. Over 01.10 AM i walk out the cinema. As said i whas not happy with 10.15 tickets, i I whas already suprised the movie whas set for 08.30 Pm. No movies setting for 09.30 or 9.15, also not in that other one. I think it is partyl blame to the fact the movie be released on 31 October and not end of November/begin December. The movie be 2 weeks longer in the cinema then CR, but then is something i don't know before. This be the first time i saw a Bond movie in November.
GE: 12 or 13 December 1995
TMND: 14 December 1997 (Limited)
Twine: 14 January 2000
CR: 24 January 2007
QOS: 17 December 2008
Skyfall: 22 November 2012
The spoilers of Skyfall also push me a litle to see the movie earlier, offcial we already whant to go on 15 November. Not realy a big fan of November for Bond, i whas very happy with 18 December 1997 for TMND and 9 December 1999 release date of Twine.
With TMND i whas on my hihghlight of fandom, starter and happy i get the change to see movie partly for free in the morning.
Yes that's relevant to the UK as well. Cinemas used to have assigned seating (not sure if some still have) but the ones I frequent certainly don't. However, there are now Deluxe cinemas in which you can pay extra to get a more comfortable seat (usually on the back couple of rows).
A good example is Sir Rog's one man show. You choose your seat from the floor plan when you book your ticket online.
We also have assigned seating at our Football (soccer to you) Stadias
It also happend with QOS. But Skyfall be so hot (At the end the count of tickets be doulbe from 1 million to 2 million) that we get cheap white tickets also insteed of those cardboard things.
It can be standard, i am not realy a big cinema visiter. It should be special.
Next time there should keep Bond 24 not for 2 weeks but for 5 weeks in the biggest room again like the time of TMND, Twine and DAD. Impossible with so much movies made those days.
@SirHenryLeeChaChing, we have it here in Belgium too. You can buy tickets online and pick your seats. The number of the seat is printed on your ticket so there can be no arguments about it. ;-)
Small independant is the way to go all in all a much better way to see the picture
Also is really good to see that someone else has some love for the good old Watershed here in Bristol.
Absolutely. We all need to do our bit to support the small independant cinemas :-)
True fact - cinema popcorn is more profitable than heroin.
When you think they can buy a sack of corn kernels for pennies and that sack will blow up to a room full of popcorn which they will knock out for a fiver a box then it doesnt seem so far fetched.
I just go to Tesco and get a bag of proper toffee Butterkist before I go in. Only total mugs queue up to drop the cinema more than they paid for their ticket for a coke and a box of popcorn. The fact that the prices dont go down means there must be an awful lot of mugs around but then I guess thats hardly news when stuff like Transformers and Pacific Rim keep getting made and Vin Diesel remains in work.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2012/mar/07/cinema-snacks-a-view-to-a-killing
So is there small print on your ticket saying that as part of the contract you enter into with the cinema is that you cant bring any food in?
Am I allowed to carry Butterkist in as long as I have no plans to open it? And what about water? Surely you cant deny people the right to drink in a 3 hour period except if they buy your overpriced products?
So its OK for them to artificially hike prices and ban you from bringing your own stuff but if we download a film we are criminals?