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the MI6 community bond film [Trail run]

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  • JinxJinx
    Posts: 102
    "Felix! what took you so long?"
    Lieter's head SNAPS BACKWARDS with a loud Texan laugh.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Bond:"Wait, wasn't Mathis here a second ago?"
    Felix:"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............Yeah we change bodies sometimes."
    Bond:"What?!"
    Felix:"We'll talk about it later, this building is on fire. And why were you on the fourth floor? There's no bar there!"
    Bond:"Now isn't the time for plot lines that make sense Felix! Now, lets get out of here! The building is on fire and we're getting shot at!"
    Felix:"Yeah yeah. Can we stop by the gift shop on the way out? My wife's birthday is today."
  • JinxJinx
    Posts: 102
    Bond: "really? how old is she?"
    Felix: "too old for you James now come on."
    Bond: "we'll pick her up some vintage on the way out."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Bond and Felix get down to the fourth floor and stand engulfed in fumes. Bond gets short of breath and needs to get on the trail of the sniper. He turns to Felix, grabs him and uses him as a shield to get to a staircase, fighting off the burning flames. Felix is now lit up and drops and rolls when they are one floor down. Bond glances around and then doubles back as Mathis is in front of him.
    Bond:"Quit doing that Felix! Or Mathis? Or is it Felix?! Ahhhhhhh!!!"
    Just then the flames have finished their work on the supports in the building, they melt and the building tumbles upon itself to the ground. The surrounding area is death filled, and a cloud of dust covers the area, no survivors.
  • JinxJinx
    Posts: 102
    "take my hand Felix!"
    "no James I'm dead"
    The end? I'm confused but it's been fun.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Porky Pig shuffles out of the rubble and closes the show:
  • shadowonthesunshadowonthesun Banned
    Posts: 1,894
    James Bond comes to. He has a splitting headache - everything that happened in Uruguay has been an hallucination, induced by poisons from the Garden of Death, which is where he is now.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    His mobile vibrates and he answers. He is weak:"Bond here."
    M:"Bond, where have you been? We need you at 6 now. There's a situation, it requires immediate attention. We need you here in half an hour. Can you do that?"
    *SILENCE*
    "Bond?!"
    Bond:"I'll need more that thirty minutes."
    M:"Why?!"
    Bond:"I think I've been poisoned and I have no idea where I'm at. Do a search for my phone signal."
    M:"We've got it. Bond! What are you doing in.........."
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    “Japan!”

    Bond sits to, observing where he is. Some sort of Garden....

    Suddenly Bond realises M had said Japan,

    M: “Bond, are you there?”..........
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Bond:"Yes! You don't have to keep asking. I need more information. Where in Japan? I need a street, an area, something. What building am I in, anything along those lines."
    M:"Hold on, we've got your location centered in on. Oh. Not this again...."
    Bond:"What? What's the matter?!"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
  • Char35tChar35t
    edited August 2011 Posts: 289
    Bond out of frustration reaches for a smoke and pulls out a cheap silver chain, a leather wallet and a pocket watch....

    with the monogram TDB etched in the leather and pocket watch.....
  • VirageVirage
    Posts: 1,856
    Bond is Curious to what TDB means But The sniper is behind him, following him
    M: 007, report to paris, where you'll meet our station-P operative, M out.

    Title: 12 Hours later, Paris
    (bond is in agony on the street, the sniper stands over him, suddenly the sniper falls down, his been shot, a figure runs away as a ambulance appears, Paramedics put Bond one of those hart things, the hart rate line forms the...

    (opening titles)

    (MI6 HQ, London, 7 weeks later.....)
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Bond is almost fully recovered and passed his physical exam to be back in the Service. He is now seen after the theme in bed with a beautiful weapons specialist, Tania.

    Bond:"I didn't think MI6 weapons specialists were so talented in...other areas..."
    Tania:"Yes, I'm sure you've fratenized with the whole department haven't you?"
    Bond:"I know them by name."
    Tania:"It must get busy for you."
    Bond:"Well, I am always COCKED and ready...."

    Suddenly Bond's mobile rings......
  • Monsieur_AubergineMonsieur_Aubergine Top of the Eiffel Tower with a fly in my soup!
    Posts: 642
    He answers ruefully
    Bond: secure #1962
    Voice: secure line 007. Connected
    Bond: Bond
    M: I hope you're fully charged 007
    Bond: funny you should say that..
    M: Get yourself off the eider down and into 6, if you can remember where that is?
    Bond: I'm sure the memory foam can help me with that ( he pushes Tania down into the bed with a lingering kiss goodbye. Hangs up. The first bars of the bond theme begin....cut to...
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited August 2011 Posts: 2,629
    Bond arrives at MI6, throws his hat on the rack and is greeted by Moneypenny.

    Moneypenny: "Any problems discharging your weapon James?"
    Bond: "Too quickly this time I'm afraid."
    Moneypenny: "The old man is waiting. Sounds very urgent. He wants you to go straight in."
    Bond: "I wonder what it is now."

    Bond knocks on M's door and walks in.

    Moneypenny: (Sighs) "I wish James would discharge his weapon with me."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    M has the ends of his glasses perched in his mouth, looking at a file before him. Without looking at Bond entering he says:
    M:"Tania clocked in late today. I hope you gave her a good time because her pay has been drastically altered."
    Bond:"Ah, sir I...."
    M:"Don't bother with excuses 007. Just take a seat."
    Bond sits.
    M:"We've got a new lead on Romero's sniper. We've got a name and a face, you just need to handle the particulars, If you're up to it."
    M pushes the photograph and file of the mystery man Bond's way......
  • VirageVirage
    Posts: 1,856
    Its a woman, She is waring lycra, and there is a picture of a octopuses logo on the left breast

    Bond: SPECTER
    M: Yes
    Bond: Her Name
    M: Her Name Is...
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited August 2011 Posts: 28,694
    M:"Marta Klebb"
    Bond:"Not-"
    M:"Yes Bond, Rosa Klebb's illegitimate child. One she never knew about."
    Bond:"Tatiana would get a KICK out this."
    M:"Joking aside 007, we have her location. Here's your passport and cover information(M passes Bond a small folder as Q walks in with his gadget)."
    Bond quickly packs away his things taking a glance at the location he will be going to.
    Bond:"I've always wanted to visit...."
  • Char35tChar35t
    edited August 2011 Posts: 289
    Bond thinking to himself while packing: Portland, Oregon? Actually I heard they have great beer and Merlot but what would be so important there?

    Shrugs to himself as his fingers feel the cold metal of that cheap silver chain grabs it and sits on the bed realizing that it came from the sniper as he flew threw the window. Bond opens the face of the pocket watch and the leather wallet to discover....
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    We needed to address Q's gadget and why does Bond love his pocket watch and leather wallet so much?
  • Char35tChar35t
    edited August 2011 Posts: 289
    SPECTER and Quantum..... :)

    M: Yes America Bond...it has been a while since we used our blunt instrament there., our "friends" across the pond literally stumbled upon a turf war going on, SPECTER is being challenged by Quantum...
    Bond: I thought they both were destroyed....
    M: So did most of the world. Oh almost forgot (M tries to light his pipe with a burnout match) Bond that thingy Quartermaster section gave you has two functions...
    (Bond pulls out the Ipod looking device)
    Firstly, its a scanner for bugs and computers or something, the second function simulates retina eye scans, see Q section after you leave...oh yes..Bond are those the items you found before Paris? TDB....a name? what did you find in the inside of the watch cover and anything in the wallet? TDB....that is bothering me James....
  • VirageVirage
    edited August 2011 Posts: 1,856
    Bond: I don't know
    M: good day 007
    (bond exits into the office)
    bond: monneypenny?
    Monneypenny: Yes, James
    Bond: run a cheek on the letters "TBD" and don't let the old man know
    monneypenny: okay James

    q's lab
    (bond enters)
    Q: Ahh 007
    bond: glad you still chose to remember me....
    _____________
    not much if a cliffhanger but there you go.


  • JinxJinx
    edited August 2011 Posts: 102
    "yes well I wish you could remember to keep my gadgets in pristine order!"
    Bond: "I will this time Q no need to worry."
    Q: "I've heard that one before."
    Bond: "really? from who?"
    Q: "001. poor chap didn't read the instructions for my inflatable condom parachute. suffocated to death."
    Bond puts on a pair of X-RAY GLASSES to hide ONCOMING TEARS.
    "yes well luckily I can see right through the matter."
    Q: "stop quipping 007 it'll kill you."
    Bond: "penetrating insight Q."
    Q: "oh my God. now when you go after this Marta Klebb lady-"
    Bond: "I may find myself in a *sticky* situation."
    Q: "exactly. so once you've set the mood you can simply whip my condom out - break the packet - and whoosh! instant escape. provided you're on a rooftop of course."
    Bond: "well I'll just have to *heighten* her expectations."
    Q: "oh shut up 007."
    Bond: "nice iPod gadget by the way."
    Q: "many thanks. now off you go to Oregon."
    Bond: "I'll be sure to *get off* to the thought."
    Moneypenny SHOUTS down the hall for James.
    "Coming"
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,170
    Bond "Of course penny."
    Moneypenny "Wearing a white tuxedo. You must be joking."
    Bond "What do you mean?"
    Moneypenny "The last time I saw one of those was."
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    Moneypenny:"At that bacarat game in France a few years back."
    Bond:"Ah, how could I forget."
    Moneypenny:"Well you sure forgot something. After the fourth banco I never saw you until your next mission."
    Bond:"I can explain that..."(Bond slides on her desk, pressing his face on her cheek)
    Moneypenny:"Oh you can know. I'm sure It doesn't involve that Ms. Trench?"
    Bond:"Oh, Moneypenny, who do you think I am? I only have eyes for you....."
    (M pokes out with a raised eyebrow from his office)
    M:"007, I pay you for gathering intelligence, not arousing Ms. Moneypenny. Please, make yourself useful and get to the airport(looking at his watch). Your flight leaves in an hour and a half."
    Bond says goodbye with a peck on the cheek:"Moneypenny, you're a FIRST CLASS woman."

    CUT to Bond in a taxi being taken to the airport. Looking back at Regent's Park he sees....
  • JinxJinx
    Posts: 102
    Moneypenny waving frantically.
    "what an awkward woman."
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    edited August 2011 Posts: 2,629
    After an eventful strip search in Heathrow and a layover at JFK in New York, Bond arrives at the Portland International Airport. However, there are a couple of people at PDX interested in Bond's arrival. A lady with a cell phone takes a couple of suttle pictures of Bond at the baggage claim area. Another gentleman with a hat and a funny mustache seems to be eyeing Bond. Bond looks around the baggage claim area for anyone suspicious when he is suddenly distracted.

    "Welcome to the Rose City, Mr. Bond"

    James turns around and sees that it is............
  • Char35tChar35t
    Posts: 289
    Hung Far Low....his voice comes over Bonds "Ipod"

    HFL: There are eyes all over this place from all quarters....look casual and please dont look around all paraniod. I am going to grab the green leather bag in front of yours slip a hand into my pocket and grab the pass key when i hug you after head to the mens restroom closest to the MAX platform and...
  • Monsieur_AubergineMonsieur_Aubergine Top of the Eiffel Tower with a fly in my soup!
    edited August 2011 Posts: 642
    Go to the third cubicle on the left.

    Bond follows instruction and enters the restroom.. He is aware of the other cubicles being occupied but not 'engaged'
    He makes his way to the third cubicle he enters and locks the door. The other men appear from their cubicles all holding guns "click click" Bond is cornered. He...
  • JinxJinx
    edited August 2011 Posts: 102
    he whips out Q's inflatable condom and breaks the packet open.
    whoosh! the cubicle door BURSTS OPEN and knocks the men down.
    "don't blow it all at once! safety first I say!"
    Bond makes quick his escape.

    Mod edit: I suggest we ignore this filth and continue with a slightly more adult approach. (DD)
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