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Funny Critical Reviews
I sometimes have to laugh at how the critics can blast a certain TV series or film. I for one do not read reviews of a movie I am planning on seeing. But it is funny to read some afterwards. Sometimes the critics can be pretty funny with their comments (the fact that they are frustrated writers themselves may account for this.)
What are some of your favorite and quirky reviews you've read over the years. I have two that come to mind and will share them with you.
King Kong (1976) This movie was seen as sacriledge to many classic film buffs. One of the funniest comments I read (and meanest) was heaped on a young Jessica Lange while comparing her to Faye Wray. It went like this:
"It is obvious that she is not a virgin but I suppose the natives of Skull Island, like everyone else these days have lowered their standards"
The A Team (1985) I recall reading a review after the show had been on for a couple of years and this critic was really ripping into the show. He was surprised that the A Team was always a top ten rated show but he could not find anyone who would admit to watching it. His comments were words to this effect:
" Every week the A team shoots up thousands of rounds of ammo and never draw blood. The bad guys are just as incompetent. They fire hundreds and hundreds of rounds and to the chagrin of the critics never kill an A Team member."
I just wanted to share these and hope some of you can recall some humorous and creative critical reviews.
What are some of your favorite and quirky reviews you've read over the years. I have two that come to mind and will share them with you.
King Kong (1976) This movie was seen as sacriledge to many classic film buffs. One of the funniest comments I read (and meanest) was heaped on a young Jessica Lange while comparing her to Faye Wray. It went like this:
"It is obvious that she is not a virgin but I suppose the natives of Skull Island, like everyone else these days have lowered their standards"
The A Team (1985) I recall reading a review after the show had been on for a couple of years and this critic was really ripping into the show. He was surprised that the A Team was always a top ten rated show but he could not find anyone who would admit to watching it. His comments were words to this effect:
" Every week the A team shoots up thousands of rounds of ammo and never draw blood. The bad guys are just as incompetent. They fire hundreds and hundreds of rounds and to the chagrin of the critics never kill an A Team member."
I just wanted to share these and hope some of you can recall some humorous and creative critical reviews.
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Comments
Radio Times review of Die Another Day
Surely they were talking about Rosamund. ;-)
Ahhhhh...actually you are probably right. ;)
Touche ;)
http://www.nypress.com/article-21357-bored-game.html
regarding AVTAK : "more time was used filling the wrinkles in Roger Moore's face than filling in the holes in the plot".
That was mean.
Yeah, it is a bit of a contrived review, but generally Armond White is a very fine critic. Very far from the "troll" internet fanboys make him out to be.
CR Review
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070816/REVIEWS/708160301/1023
QOS Review
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081111/REVIEWS/811129989
but the funniest one i've ever heard was a rock critic describing Rammstein as "music to invade Poland to."..... since then, it has stuck with me, and I use that line when describing Rammstein to friends lol.
L-)
I'm sure he's a respected critic and has his own opinions, but how can you watch Toy Story 3 and say how Ham the Piggy Bank was the main bad guy? I can respect a bad review for a movie that I praise, even if I strongly disagree. But I can not respect somebody giving a review without getting their facts straight
that is why i find Ebert's review of QOS so bizarre... like for example..
Okay... it was a well known fact, that the producers were creating Quantum Of Solace as a direct sequel to Casino Royale, picking up only a mere minutes after the last scene.. so obviously storyline is going to bleed over if it's a sequel.... don't critics do their homework before going into a film? as well publicized as the Bond franchise is, shouldn't he have known this going in - that QOS was going to be a direct continuation from CR?.. everyone else did....
But to say that this scene has no connection with the rest of film?.. !!!!!???? did he leave the theater to fix his jaw and miss the whole sequence after the credits, and walk back in when Bond arrived in Haiti?.. that is the only explanation I can think of - unless he blacked out... the scene immediately following the credits is directly connected to the PTS - so to say it has no connection with the rest of the film is beyond my comprehension.... maybe he got his reviews for FYEO and QOS mixed up - he is going crazy after all.......
strike 1..
Again, one of things he praises CR on, was it's breaking from tradition (so to speak)... no more cheesy and childish sounding names..... but then he says this about QOS - when a character named Strawberry Fields was present in the film as well (though you had to wait til the credits to find out her first name)... but still, how does your train of thought and rationale shift from one end of the spectrum to the other between 2 films.... did he expect CR to be like OHMSS and QOS to be like DAF... a one off serious Bond movie, then back to camp cheese?... again, wtf Mr Ebert?
strike 2 ..
first off, no mention of global take over at all in the film... i know Mr Ebert was attempting humor, but he uses it to set up his punchline of "Water in Boliva? Ohs No's!"
:-w
I might be the only one here that likes this plot idea - because of the severity of it.... maybe because water is so readily available to us as citizens of the US and UK and where ever else, that it doesn't seem like a concern - but to bleed a country dry of it's water resources, stockpile it, and then sell it back to their government with prices through the roof (sounds a lot like gasoline companies doesn't it).. in fact, the parallels are intentional... James Bond is a character embraced by the world, and i get the sense that Mr Ebert is saying, who gives a crap about some hole in the wall country - if it doesn't involve the US or UK, then who cares right?.... that's sort of a disgusting elitist view on the rest of the world... i understand his attempt at humor in his quote, but still - i find it less contrived of a plot than half the other Bond films - in fact, IMO, it like it because it almost directly resembles what is going on in real life...
hmmmmm.... really?..... because these films are all classified under "action" and "adventure".... in fact - Bond is widely considered the original action adventure hero - with influences on numerous other action heros in cinema, most noteably Indiana Jones..... does he mean a cliche' action hero? - who knows, he never really elaborates further... sure he explains that violence is an annoyance to Bond, and that he exists for the foreplay and cigarette.. thats all well and good Mr Ebert, that is part of his character - but you can't escape the fact that he is an action hero by definition.. he's resposible for the most death defying stunts caught in films - explosions, gun fire, chases.. all are traditions in the Bond world... he may be a different kind of action hero - not like Rambo or the Terminator, but he is an action hero none the less... to have a Bond film without action or adventure would be pointless... it almost wouldn't be a Bond film at that point...
strike 3..
sorry Mr Ebert, but your credibility has just struck out.
Haha ditto or how Bond wasn't more injured. Was the car meant to be bulletproof?
I like this reviewer because he put scarface on his great films list