"Back of the net!": The Football Thread

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  • edited September 2017 Posts: 17,744
    jobo wrote: »
    No, no. Football is only about appreciating or mourning the score sheet of your favorite team. If not you are a laughable glory hunter or a delusional Pep disciple. Appreciating quality football is not what we do in England...

    HAHAH!
    I suppose, given the highlight of Norwegian World Cup history is beating England (brief 90s dalliance with averageness aside) and then giving it large to Nelson and Maggie, that watching the World Cup and actually caring who wins is a non starter.

    But applauding the Germans as they dismantle your team is particularly masochistic for anyone who has any aspiration to be better than the likes of San Marino.

    Masochistic? Nah. The Germans played on a completely different level last night, and Norway hasn't qualified for anything in a long time. Might as well enjoy how football can be played.

    Lagerbäck should get the chance to focus on Euro 2020, and build a team that can compete with the other European nations. No better way to do that with a good result against Northern Ireland in October – which is another challenging match.


    Genius.

    A legendary piece of commenting! :D
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    MancAlice wrote: »
    Manchester United and England fan here, any other reds around?!

    Fellow Red Devil good start to the season
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited September 2017 Posts: 9,117

    Masochistic? Nah. The Germans played on a completely different level last night, and Norway hasn't qualified for anything in a long time. Might as well enjoy how football can be played.

    Lagerbäck should get the chance to focus on Euro 2020, and build a team that can compete with the other European nations. No better way to do that with a good result against Northern Ireland in October – which is another challenging match.

    And even if you get smashed 6-0 by NI you can just sit back and enjoy the entertainment rather than ask why one of the richest countries in Europe has only been to 3 tournaments ever whilst places with similar populations manage to be competitive (Slovakia, Croatia, Slovenia, Ireland) and compared to your Scandinavian cousins your record is a total embarassment.

    If a country even as limited as Scotland lost 6-0 there might be a couple of sentences about how well the Germans played the next day but the main focus would be anger that this is utterly unacceptable and how can we put this right rather than eulogising your opponents as Brazil 70.

    I'm amazed the Vikings managed to do as well as they did if everyone is accepting of defeat as you!
    A legendary piece of commenting! :D

    Just out of interest how is this piece of commentary regarded in Norway?

    My mates and I wheel it out every time we beat a country, the more obscure the better. Alas don't get to do it much any more.

    Last one I had lined up after 5 mins into the match was 'Magnus Magnusson, Eidur Gudjonnson, some bloke who won world's strongest man in about 1993, Kerry Katona, Bjork. Bjork can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!'

    For obvious reasons I held it back until they played France.
  • RC7RC7
    Posts: 10,512
    MancAlice wrote: »
    Manchester United and England fan here, any other reds around?!

    Fellow Red Devil good start to the season

    Me too.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489


    Genius.

    I remember that. Ha ha.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117


    Genius.

    I remember that. Ha ha.

    Was just about to do one for Moldova after Wales turned them over (although 'just about scraped it' would be more accurate than 'hell of a beating') but there's an obvious problem which makes it a non starter; Vladimir Filat or Natalia Barbu anyone? Me neither.
  • edited September 2017 Posts: 17,744
    And even if you get smashed 6-0 by NI you can just sit back and enjoy the entertainment rather than ask why one of the richest countries in Europe has only been to 3 tournaments ever whilst places with similar populations manage to be competitive (Slovakia, Croatia, Slovenia, Ireland) and compared to your Scandinavian cousins your record is a total embarassment.

    If a country even as limited as Scotland lost 6-0 there might be a couple of sentences about how well the Germans played the next day but the main focus would be anger that this is utterly unacceptable and how can we put this right rather than eulogising your opponents as Brazil 70.

    I'm amazed the Vikings managed to do as well as they did if everyone is accepting of defeat as you!

    Obviously it's not ideal to be beaten 6-0, and of course there has been articles about the performance last night. The problems are many with this Norwegian team. First of all, Lars Lagerbäck took charge of the team only earlier this year - mid qualification. He hasn't had long to work with this group of players. Also, Norway haven't got – and one can argue, have never had the x-factor kind players, like a Zlatan, Christian Eriksen or Gylfi Sigurðsson. In the nineties the national team was a strong collective, but now, there is hardly any collective to talk about. Without the collective or the x-factor players, you end up loosing 6-0 to Germany.

    Norwegian football is at an all time low in quality. The step up to other leagues in Europe is massive, and the budgets of the Norwegian clubs are very, very small compared to say, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, England, etc. Rosenborg, who beat Ajax to qualify for the EL, have a market value of €16,80 mill., compared to Ajax's €106,98 mill. Still, Rosenborg are way ahead of the other teams of the Norwegian Eliteserien. Rosenborg actually received criticism from other clubs and "experts" for the high £1.4 mill fee they payed Viking FK to sign Samuel Adegbenro – who scored three goals against Ajax over two matches.

    Norway doesn't have big football academies like in England, for example. There are youth teams, of course, and Rosenborg have their own academy, but it's very low level compared to other countries (can't speak for Slovakia, Croatia, Slovenia, and Ireland of course). Several of the best players go abroad early, like Joshua King, who went to United - now in Bournemouth. Others make their way from Eliteserien to a mid table Eredivisie team, Bundeliga team, 2. Bundesliga team, or maybe a Ligue 1 team.

    It's safe to say that Norway are way behind other countries regarding the development of world football. Just a few points this – and there are probably several more to mention, as an explanation as to why Norwegian football is so bad at the moment. Might as well enjoy good football from teams like Germany, then.

    A legendary piece of commenting! :D

    Just out of interest how is this piece of commentary regarded in Norway?

    My mates and I wheel it out every time we beat a country, the more obscure the better. Alas don't get to do it much any more.

    Last one I had lined up after 5 mins into the match was 'Magnus Magnusson, Eidur Gudjonnson, some bloke who won world's strongest man in about 1993, Kerry Katona, Bjork. Bjork can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!'

    For obvious reasons I held it back until they played France.

    It's a well known piece of commentary, and is shown on TV, or played on radio every now and then. I think most people, at least in their twenties or older, have heard it at some point. :-)
  • MancAliceMancAlice Manchester
    Posts: 20
    @Fire_and_Ice_Returns @RC7 Always good to meet fellow reds!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited September 2017 Posts: 9,117
    After Wenger's selection meltdown leaving Lacazette on the bench it's now Klopp's turn: Klavan starts against one of the most potent attacking sides in the league.

    Now I'm no big fan of Lovren but the only way you pick Klavan ahead of him is if a passing psychopath has just lobotomised you with a rusty spade. If Lovren is fit enough to make the bench then he's fit enough to start because Klavan is the Ronnie Biggs of stealing a living. The guy would be out of his depth in an under 5s team.

    At least Minger back in thank Christ; never thought I'd be glad to see him return but CERN have banned Karius and Klavan from playing together as in close proximity they reach critical mass and a wormhole opens up in our goal that sucks every particle in the universe into our net.

    Looks like we're going to need to score 3 just to have a sniff of getting a point.

    Also Coutinho not even making the bench so why did we pay to fly him back by private jet? Guess travelling in such squalor must have made his back injury flare up again. Or he might just be taking the piss.

  • Posts: 17,744
    City-Liverpool is going to be a hell of a match. Would be happy to see a 1-1 game for Arsenals sake, but can't see that happening. How many goals can we get between these teams today? Somewhere between five to seven?
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    I hope Liverpool win this one I expect a goal fest so it will probably be 0 - 0
  • RC7RC7
    edited September 2017 Posts: 10,512
    Obviously I'm hoping there's some sort of large scale catastrophe involving the pitch and a sinkhole.
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    Harsh sending off
  • Posts: 17,744
    Didn't see the situation. Studs first or?
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    High foot though keeper was way out of his box and Mane appeared to get the ball first
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    I guess Jurgen will finally realise he'll have to go and buy some defenders before the window slams shut?

    Oh no it did that last week. Slow hand clap for everyone involved with recruitment at LFC. Still I'm sure the Ox will turn it round. Has anyone ever been beaten 4-0 in successive matches for different clubs cos that's where this is heading?

    So how does gegenpressing work exactly when you are 2 goals adrift, down to 10 men and chasing the ball?

  • Posts: 17,744
    Brought in Mané into my FPL team along with Firmino. Feeling pretty stupid now.
  • TripAcesTripAces Universal Exports
    Posts: 4,583
    I can't believe I got up at 4:30 am for this.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    I'm so disgusted at the lack of care about defending I actually want Utd to win the title now then maybe some of these pricks might realise there is only one philosophy and it's called winning football matches.

    Anyone who has the temerity to criticise Jose slap your medals on the table and 9 times out of 10 you'll be made to look a mug.
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    It would appear Liverpool are only effective when attacking they really can't do much else
  • Posts: 17,744
    Anyone who has the temerity to criticise Jose slap your medals on the table and 9 times out of 10 you'll be made to look a mug.
    Would love a Mourinho type manager at Arsenal! Not going to happen in a million years, but still.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited September 2017 Posts: 9,117
    Thankfully I have had to go back to work so unable to watch Kevin Keegan in designer glasses wheel out his increasingly tiresome schtick laughing and joking with the reporter in the post match interview but I fear for my telly tonight when I watch MOTD because this has nothing to do with going down to 10 men and everything to do with him NOT BUYING ANY DEFENDERS.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2017/08/06/jurgen-kloppthere-arent-five-better-centre-halves-already-have/

    Apparently there's literally only Van Dyke in the whole world who is an upgrade on what we've got. You should resign just for that embarrassing statement that not even the North Korean state propaganda agency would have the cheek to try and pass off as fact Jurgen.

    Are the bookies even accepting bets on Utd any more?

    This post has been edited for unacceptable content
  • Posts: 12,526
    Well that is a score line I thought I would never see? My brother is going to be fuming! Think I will give him a wide birth today.
  • Posts: 17,744
    High foot though keeper was way out of his box and Mane appeared to get the ball first

    Difficult situation this one. Ederson seem to be alright, though.
  • Fire_and_Ice_ReturnsFire_and_Ice_Returns I am trying to get away from this mountan!
    Posts: 25,047
    It's funny Keegan popped into my head during the match, I wanted Liverpool to win as over the course of a season to me City are a bigger threat. It's inevitable Liverpool will burnout and have a dip at some point.
  • edited September 2017 Posts: 4,044
    Thankfully I have had to go back to work so unable to watch Kevin Keegan in designer glasses wheel out his increasingly tiresome schtick laughing and joking with the reporter in the post match interview but I fear for my telly tonight when I watch MOTD because this has nothing to do with going down to 10 men and everything to do with him NOT BUYING ANY DEFENDERS.


    He bought Robertson, and he isn't even on the bench. That'll teach him for having an encouraging debut. Plus Alberto Moreno's resurgence is "like" a new signing. Which in turn frees up Milner for midfield, so he is "like" a new signing.

    What's not to like?
  • Posts: 17,744
    When Arsenal actually wins, the game isn't on tv at all. Still, really happy to see that they could get a good result against Bournemouth. Need that before next weekend's match against Chelsea.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    vzok wrote: »
    Thankfully I have had to go back to work so unable to watch Kevin Keegan in designer glasses wheel out his increasingly tiresome schtick laughing and joking with the reporter in the post match interview but I fear for my telly tonight when I watch MOTD because this has nothing to do with going down to 10 men and everything to do with him NOT BUYING ANY FUCKING DEFENDERS.


    He bought Robertson, and he isn't even on the bench. That'll teach him for having an encouraging debut. Plus Alberto Moreno's resurgence is "like" a new signing. Which in turn frees up Milner for midfield, so he is "like" a new signing.

    I agree Moreno getting game time is like signing a new player. A shit one who can't defend.

    What's Titus Bramble doing these days? Reckon he'd fit right into the Liverpool defence.

    At least the scum slipped up, not that it will make much difference come the end of the season. We'll finish at least 10 points adrift of them.
  • edited September 2017 Posts: 4,044
    It's frustrating that Man Utd can see their basic weaknesses and address them. Goal scorer brought in to edge out last seasons draws. New defender and defensive midfielder to strengthen spine. Sorted. Why Klopp keeps trying to work with what he has I've no idea.

    Moreno, being a shite defender, fits in quite nicely.
  • Posts: 17,744
    vzok wrote: »
    It's frustrating that Man Utd can see their basic weaknesses and address them. Goal scorer brought in to edge out last seasons draws. New defender and defensive midfielder to strengthen spine. Sorted. Why Klopp keeps trying to work with what he has I've no idea.

    Moreno, being a shite defender, fits in quite nicely.

    Same goes for Arsenal. Every transfer window is a new disappointment. The club can't be so "blind" that they can't see their weaknesses. Yet they are not being addressed.

    Then there's also the discussion of a sporting director, etc.
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