The Bond Movies & Actors I Can't Stand (Negativity Only Please)

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  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    CrabKey wrote: »
    DN -- The rear screen projection behind the Sunbeam.
    FRWL -- Bond's effeminate hand waving goodbye to the 8mm film reel.
    GF -- The instantaneous falling to the ground of the pretend-to-be-gassed soldiers.
    TB -- Super fast motion crash of the Disco Volante
    LALD -- The exploding Mr. Big and product placement Chevrolets.
    TSWLM -- Bond's yellow ski suit and Jaws invincibility.
    MR -- Jaws again, Lois Chiles, CE3K chime, pigeon, gondola, etc.
    DAD -- Invisible car and wind surfing.
    SF -- Tube crash and Silva's ability to know what everyone will do at any moment.
    I agree to these.
  • Posts: 11,425
    Thunderball is over long and incredibly tedious and also has the worst PTS of the entire series. After the seminal GF it represents a catastrophic drop in quality.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited January 2015 Posts: 17,798
    Getafix wrote: »
    After the seminal GF it represents a catastrophic drop in quality.
    I do not think this word means what you think it means.

  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    TB -- Super fast motion crash of the Disco Volante

    Yes that is pretty horrible.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    TB was cobbled together quickly. It's my impression that they were trying for epic on a budget..
  • Posts: 11,189
    I like TB. It's not as well structured as the previous three but it has charm.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    chrisisall wrote: »
    TB was cobbled together quickly. It's my impression that they were trying for epic on a budget..

    That may be, but YOLT looks a thousand times worse than TB. And worse than that even: They recycled YOLT's plot in the late 70s. Twice. In a row.
  • Posts: 250
    They fixed it in '77 by making it actually... y'know... fun.

    Only to make it dull again in '97.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    chrisisall wrote: »
    TB was cobbled together quickly. It's my impression that they were trying for epic on a budget..

    That may be, but YOLT looks a thousand times worse than TB. And worse than that even: They recycled YOLT's plot in the late 70s. Twice. In a row.

    Drax wasn't trying to instigate a war between great powers. He was trying to exterminate the human race except those he deemed perfect. Pretty significant difference.
  • AVBAVB
    Posts: 97
    I think all of Craig's Bond-films are tedious, half-cocked and poorly planned.

    CR is criminally overrated by the community. I hate how boring, one dimensional a director Campbell is. I hate how Craig is a rookie Bond at 38 y/o. I hate how he destroys everything in sight like a Terminator. I hate how people think he epitomises Fleming's literary creation because he looks rough and moody. I hate how boring Campbell made the Poker scenes. He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    SF is also a load of tosh. I hate how they shoehorned MoneyPenny in like that, believing themselves to be 'creative'. Why can't she just be a secretary from the start? I hate how MP shoots at innocent civilians just as Patrice is jumping from the bridge onto the train in the PTS. I hate how forced and contrived the 'humour' is in these lines, and how wooden everything is. I hate the sound of Dench's nagging voice over every scene of the bloody PTS. She's not a strategic commander for God's sake. I hate Tanner. I hate how Mendes thinks we're so stupid as to buy into Silva's pantomime motivations. I hate how Bardem made him so generically villainous and twisted.

    I hate how this modern Bond has no idea what it really wants to be. It panders to multiple crowds and is bland and wishy-washy as a result.

    Did I do this right?
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    That's pretty good.
  • AVBAVB
    Posts: 97
    I could have written much, much more, but alas time contraints.

    This is a great thread.
  • Posts: 11,189
    He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    What about in the opening or during the poisoning sequence?
  • AVBAVB
    Posts: 97
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    What about in the opening or during the poisoning sequence?

    Obviously subjective, but I don't think the PTS was particularly atmospheric. It was rushed and poorly written IMHO. The B&W didn't add anything. Plus, as someone else wrote, the gunbarrell in the gents room was AWFUL. The poison scene isn't too memorable to me either. But I will give credit it where it's due; the stairwell fight and the scene directly after with Vesper in the shower was good.

    I think I'm really referring to the film a whole, which I found badly paced and dislocated, rather than individual scenes, of which there were some good ones.

  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Sadly I'm not allowed to challenge these latest assertions re: CR on this thread.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    I don't mind the occasional jump cut, but the fight in TB's PTS was so jagged I can barely look at it. Makes the car chase in QOS' seem smooth.
  • Posts: 1,405
    chrisisall wrote: »
    TB was cobbled together quickly. It's my impression that they were trying for epic on a budget..

    IMO Thunderball is by far the most overrated of all James Bond movies.

  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,425
    AVB wrote: »
    I think all of Craig's Bond-films are tedious, half-cocked and poorly planned.

    CR is criminally overrated by the community. I hate how boring, one dimensional a director Campbell is. I hate how Craig is a rookie Bond at 38 y/o. I hate how he destroys everything in sight like a Terminator. I hate how people think he epitomises Fleming's literary creation because he looks rough and moody. I hate how boring Campbell made the Poker scenes. He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    SF is also a load of tosh. I hate how they shoehorned MoneyPenny in like that, believing themselves to be 'creative'. Why can't she just be a secretary from the start? I hate how MP shoots at innocent civilians just as Patrice is jumping from the bridge onto the train in the PTS. I hate how forced and contrived the 'humour' is in these lines, and how wooden everything is. I hate the sound of Dench's nagging voice over every scene of the bloody PTS. She's not a strategic commander for God's sake. I hate Tanner. I hate how Mendes thinks we're so stupid as to buy into Silva's pantomime motivations. I hate how Bardem made him so generically villainous and twisted.

    I hate how this modern Bond has no idea what it really wants to be. It panders to multiple crowds and is bland and wishy-washy as a result.

    Did I do this right?

    Very very good post. A lot of truth in there cutting through the hyperbole of the Craig era.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited January 2015 Posts: 9,117
    chrisisall wrote: »
    TB was cobbled together quickly. It's my impression that they were trying for epic on a budget..

    IMO Thunderball is by far the most overrated of all James Bond movies.

    Thats a bit positive for this thread so I'll weigh in on TB.

    L007K Up! L007K Down!! L007K Out!!!Here comes the Dullest Bond of all!!!!

    I will quote Calvindyson from his old review of TB when refuting why TB did such big box office 'the reason everyone went to see TB was because of GF.' This statement is bang on. GF (whatever you feel about it today) hit it out of the park at the time and it was this wave that TB was surfing towards its over-inflated gross.

    The plot hangs on the thinnest coincidence that Bond happens to go to a health farm next to the NATO airbase and sees Angelo/Derval. If Bond dodges the poker in the PTS or goes to a different hospital down the road or SPECTRE picks another base Bond ends up counting moose in Canada with Group Captain Pritchard - which would probably be more entertaining.

    Despite becoming tedious once the underwater stuff kicks in(I really need to see every peg on that camouflage net hammered in Terence) the hijacking is the only scene with any tension. Once Bond gets to Nassau you never ever feel like there's any impending doom and SPECTRE dont come anywhere near to detonating the bombs. FFS the 2nd bomb never even gets armed because Kotze throws the fuse into the sea! How can you have an atomic bomb threat to blow up a city without ever having it countdown is beyond me. Yes it would look cheesy and obvious now but back then having Bond race against time to stop Miami (fairly low rent target as well. Maybe New York ups the stakes somewhat?) being blown up has some tension. Loads of faceless people ripping each other's masks off and cutting air hoses again and again and again does not.
    God knows the Peacemaker is a very average film but at least they get the end right - the hero racing across New York to stop the bomb going off.



    For everyone who claims Connery phoned it in for YOLT, I dont really see much difference here. He looks almost as bored and stopped trying to play James Bond in FRWL. He seems to just think we should all be grateful that Sean Connery just turns up on set and plays himself.
    Celi is a feeble B movie villain - Look hes got and eye patch see! So that means he must be evil. Domino might look OK in a bikini but her vacuous black hole of a personality means even with that body she's making nothing stir in the trouser department. The henchmen just stand there saying and doing nothing until Bond kills them, the underwater scenes go on forever. Its dull, dull, dull.

    Thank Christ for Fiona is all I can say as she acts like a defibrillator keeping the patient alive. Just as you think its finally flat-lined up she pops again and keeps it hanging on a bit longer.

    Havent even bothered with the choppy editing, laughable sped up footage at the end or the horrendous continuity errors. Despite the massive budget it seems like the whole thing was put together in about a week. Rather than building millions worth of underwater kit that actually worked I'd sooner some of that money had been spent polishing the script up to make a bit more exciting. Given that this script had been worked upon for well over 5 years by the time it went into production you might think it would be pretty decent but apart from a nice raft of one liners its pedestrian in the extreme.

    At the end of it all you have to ask yourself 'Fleming went to an early grave for this?'
  • Posts: 11,189
    I make that to be 13 uses of the word "hate" in AVP's post. Getafix didn't use that word as many times when talking about Brosnan :))
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,582
    The thing is, I don't 'hate' anything about the Bond films as such. They are intriguing and interesting just they way they are, because they reflect the times they were made and the ideas the producers had ( regardless of whether they succeeded or not).

    It's a vast history of the action/adventure film.

    I dislike elements for sure, and I like some actors more than others, but 'hate' is simply too strong a word. Everyone seems to hate DAD, but now from a safe distance we can see it for what it was - an attempt to celebrate 40 years of Bond, that went strangely wrong. It was the film that sent Eon scuttling back to the drawing board. No bad, move on.

    I sure hated Kevin McClory for a long time though. And I hate the very existence of NSNA.
  • I agree with those talking trash about TB. It's really, really boring and the whole affair just falls flat. The only thing that makes it better is when you watch NSNA and realize that it could actually be a thousand times worse.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    Of all the scores for Bond movies, the only one I hate is Conti's FYEO. Not too Fond of Hamlish's one either, but at least it was a bit restrained with the disco. I mean, if they felt compelled to take us to the dance floor in '81, they should have at least gotten Georgio Moroder to do it! [-(
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Hasn't this thread got a little derailed?

    I mean TB has its flaws but are people really saying they can't stand it? Shocking really. Same goes for some of the criticism of Craig and CR in particular.

    I thought this thread was for beating up on real rubbish, like Lupe & Bibbi & Rosie etc..
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    bondjames wrote: »
    I thought this thread was for beating up on real rubbish, like Lupe & Bibbi & Rosie etc..
    On this thread, anything can be rubbish.

    Like Connery's Popeye hat in FRWL. :))
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    Well, I guess one man's garbage truly is another man's sustenance.

    My vote goes for Edward Fox as an abomination of an 'M' (yes, worse IMO than Judi) in NSNA.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    yes Fox was pretty terrible.
  • Mi6LisbonBranchMi6LisbonBranch Lisbon, Portugal
    Posts: 243
    DAF - Sean Connery lazy attitude in certain scenes;
    TLD - the accent of Maryam D'Abo (for a princccesss or a wife of koomissarr..!! no no no!
    LTK - the poor acting in general
    LTK - Timothy Dalton haircut and nerd look (couldnt someone brush his hair?)
    LTK - Talisa Soto (hot but really bad actress)
    LTK - the entire scene at the seaside bar
    GOLDENEYE - PB superman scene in the PTS
    GOLDENEYE - the awfull Eric Serra Music
    GOLDENEYE - "i am invincible" stupid scene with Boris
    TWINE - Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist?? WTF!!
    DAD - the tundra surfing scene and the invisible car
    DAD - Jinx (you'e MAMMA and she told me to tell you she is quite disppointed at you")
    Whro wrote this shit?
    DAD - Mr. Kill "I am .. Mrrr Killl" How original?
    etc
  • Posts: 1,146
    AVB wrote: »
    I think all of Craig's Bond-films are tedious, half-cocked and poorly planned.

    CR is criminally overrated by the community. I hate how boring, one dimensional a director Campbell is. I hate how Craig is a rookie Bond at 38 y/o. I hate how he destroys everything in sight like a Terminator. I hate how people think he epitomises Fleming's literary creation because he looks rough and moody. I hate how boring Campbell made the Poker scenes. He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    SF is also a load of tosh. I hate how they shoehorned MoneyPenny in like that, believing themselves to be 'creative'. Why can't she just be a secretary from the start? I hate how MP shoots at innocent civilians just as Patrice is jumping from the bridge onto the train in the PTS. I hate how forced and contrived the 'humour' is in these lines, and how wooden everything is. I hate the sound of Dench's nagging voice over every scene of the bloody PTS. She's not a strategic commander for God's sake. I hate Tanner. I hate how Mendes thinks we're so stupid as to buy into Silva's pantomime motivations. I hate how Bardem made him so generically villainous and twisted.

    I hate how this modern Bond has no idea what it really wants to be. It panders to multiple crowds and is bland and wishy-washy as a result.

    Did I do this right?

    If the three Craig films, which I really like, bother you, then why bother going to see the next one?
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    I'm pretty sure you've seen all the Moore Bond films @doubleohdad. Why'd you continue after the first one or two?
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