The Bond Movies & Actors I Can't Stand (Negativity Only Please)

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  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited January 2015 Posts: 9,117
    And we are fine with you saying that on this thread. :)

    I can find nothing to complain about re Daniel Craig ... just his bad, bad haircut in Skyfall. That's it. But I hope to never see it that short again.

    Trivial I know but I have to say that although the stairwell fight followed by Bond patching himself up in the mirror is one of my favourite scenes of the series, every time I see it I can't help knocking off 2 or 3% due to the close up of Dan's blonde, nay nearer ginger, eyebrows.

    If only they had been black it would've been a perfect Flemingian moment.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,146
    Getafix wrote: »
    With all due respect, Brosnan was clearly the worst Bond, and he drove a BMW.

    No way, Moore was the undisputed soft, puffy anti-Bond and an embarrassment to the franchise. There is not one memorable Moore fight in his entire run. The definition of a Moore action sequence is to cut to a stuntman the majority of the time.
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    edited January 2015 Posts: 13,978
    Getafix wrote: »
    With all due respect, Brosnan was clearly the worst Bond, and he drove a BMW.

    I used to think the same, about Brosnan being the worst. Though I still don't like seeing Bond in a BMW; he either looked like a hairdresser (Z3/Z8) or a banker (750iL).

    And for what it's worth, Craig's hair colour really isn't a problem for me. It's the portrayal (both in performance and writing) of his Bond that I find so unappealing.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    There you go, doubleohdad, this is the thread for that negativity. Get it out of your system; you seem to need daily venting of this. :)
  • Posts: 4,622
    AVB wrote: »
    I think all of Craig's Bond-films are tedious, half-cocked and poorly planned.

    CR is criminally overrated by the community. I hate how boring, one dimensional a director Campbell is. I hate how Craig is a rookie Bond at 38 y/o. I hate how he destroys everything in sight like a Terminator. I hate how people think he epitomises Fleming's literary creation because he looks rough and moody. I hate how boring Campbell made the Poker scenes. He can't create an atmosphere in his films. Well, he did for GE to a degree, but here it's just bleh.

    SF is also a load of tosh. I hate how they shoehorned MoneyPenny in like that, believing themselves to be 'creative'. Why can't she just be a secretary from the start? I hate how MP shoots at innocent civilians just as Patrice is jumping from the bridge onto the train in the PTS. I hate how forced and contrived the 'humour' is in these lines, and how wooden everything is. I hate the sound of Dench's nagging voice over every scene of the bloody PTS. She's not a strategic commander for God's sake. I hate Tanner. I hate how Mendes thinks we're so stupid as to buy into Silva's pantomime motivations. I hate how Bardem made him so generically villainous and twisted.

    I hate how this modern Bond has no idea what it really wants to be. It panders to multiple crowds and is bland and wishy-washy as a result.

    Did I do this right?

    Good rant! Bravo!
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,425
    Yes, might not agree with everything, but as model of how to do a good entertaining rant, this can't be bettered. And as I said before, there's more than a little truth in there as well. Does Bond have an on-going identity crisis? I think so. But I suppose you could argue he's been having one for a very long time - well before Dan arrived.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Connery had the worst gun barrel. It's really bad once you notice the wobbly leg. He's balanced precariously on his right toe for some reason and you can see his right leg actually wobbling. You don't need to be a weapons expert to know that this is a terrible position to be firing a gun from. And why is his other hand flying out to the left? He's not moving nearly fast enough for centrifugal force to be an issue. Just try doing it like Connery yourself. I guarantee it feels unnatural and unbalanced.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    Sark wrote: »
    Just try doing it like Connery yourself.
    That wasn't Connery- it was Simmons.
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    edited January 2015 Posts: 1,138
    From TB-DAF it was Connery I believe.
  • Posts: 250
    It was indeed, it's only Simmons on the pre-Panavision trio.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    edited January 2015 Posts: 17,798
    Sark wrote: »
    From TB-DAF it was Connery I believe.
    Wow, you're right! I wouldn't have thought Sean could be that ungainly.
    :-O
  • Posts: 250
    Speaking of, I'm always frustrated by musical arrangements for the gunbarrel that use the wrong parts of the Bond theme. Namely these:

    TSWLM
    TND
    TWINE
    SF

    Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong. DN and CR are exonerated. Newman had better get it right - Morse code for the dots is essential.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    FourDot wrote: »
    Speaking of, I'm always frustrated by musical arrangements for the gunbarrel that use the wrong parts of the Bond theme. Namely these:

    TSWLM
    TND
    TWINE
    SF
    I don't mind switching stuff around a bit, but DISCO (FYEO)?????
  • Posts: 250
    Cowbell =/= disco.

    The FYEO gunbarrel and score rocks. Hard. I have no issue with Conti - he preserved the structure of it. As did Serra. Kamen did the best interpretation.

    Also, in terms of musical complains, Arnold's little stingers are always funny. The little piano bit with Brozzer's "Huh?!" in TWINE ("No point in living if you can't feel alive") and more recently the one when Medrano turns around to face Greene again when he announces they want to own the empty patch of desert. Yuck.
  • Posts: 2,402
    As much as DAD is the worst Bond film, I think TMWTGG is the most annoying Bond film for all the reasons Murdock listed.
  • Posts: 11,189
    As much as DAD is the worst Bond film, I think TMWTGG is the most annoying Bond film for all the reasons Murdock listed.

    Agreed.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    Personally, it is TWINE that really grates for me, for many reasons. I am not ashamed to say I much prefer watching DAD (despite its obvious and numerous flaws) to TWINE. I can get into it in detail here but I may offend some so I won't. I just can't stand TWINE to be quite frank.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    bondjames wrote: »
    I can get into it in detail here but I may offend some so I won't.
    Oh go ahead! That's what this thread is for! To say what you like without reprisal.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited January 2015 Posts: 23,883
    chrisisall wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    I can get into it in detail here but I may offend some so I won't.
    Oh go ahead! That's what this thread is for! To say what you like without reprisal.

    Well here goes then. My rant on TWINE

    Many have a go at DAD, but in my humble opinion, this utter shambles of an entry was chiefly responsible for accelerating Brosnan’s exit from the franchise & the eventual reboot. DAD just delivered the kick off the cliff.

    One of the most embarrassing attempts at adding ‘depth’ to the Bond universe in its 50 year history, it’s a moronic cheesefest display of the first order that has the audacity to take itself seriously. It should be looked upon for what it is, a snoozefest travesty of near epic proportions.

    Issues (starting with the worst for me at the top):

    1. PB's acting - forced in so many ways. He delivers all the lines poorly, starting with the banker's office: "Perhaps you failed to take into account my...hidden assets." etc. Followed later by "uhh......he was buried with work" and even later by the infamous "Huh" moment when told by Renard of Electra's betrayal. In all instances he almost grimaces when delivering the lines. Awful. Nearly every 'tick' in his acting repertoire was up on the screen for us to see.

    2. PB's facial expressions are almost tragi-comic in this one. From the aforementioned line deliveries to other scenes where he contorts his face in order to deliver supposed acting depth. Like in the final scene when he tells Renard that Electra is dead. Watch that scene carefully and please tell me why he has that face on. It's like he's trying to take a dump.

    I lked PB in GE, TND & even in DAD, but he truly blew it here.

    3. The high-school triangle romance that develops between Bond, Electra & Renard. Horribly done, and I honestly cannot watch the Baku confrontation scene with Electra without shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "Knew where to hurt me......cannot feel alive.....no point in living......" Bloody hell! What is this melodramatic garbage. Moreover it is Bond who was overdramatic and who looked like and acted like the school kid here, not anyone else.

    4. Denise Richards. Horribly miscast and I actually like her in other movies (like Wild Things). Why did they pick her and why did they cast her in the role of nuclear physicist except as some kind of joke perhaps? Were they trying to make us suspend disbelief? People have a go at Halle, but this is pretty close to the bottom of the pile in my opinion.

    5. Renard - Roberty Carlyle. Has there ever been a more boring villain in the franchise. This guy makes Almaric's Greene seem exciting. He is built up to be an 'anarchist'....a man who can feel no pain. I was hoping for quite a villain. When he finally appears he's quite insipid. So he can hold burning rocks.....big wow.......and I'm quite sure I saw him grimacing on several occasions when in fights with Bond. One of the franchise's worst.

    6. Other villains - some of the most unmemorable in the franchise's history.
    Davidov – truly boring and has the unfortunate distinction of being shot in cold blood by Bond and thrown in a dumpster.
    Bullion? Who is this clown? Please tell me they're being serious. We've gone from Jaws to this goof? Only Elvis was worse.

    7. The Action scenes - my word, where to begin...a series of truly sleep inducing by the numbers sequences that are lifeless, flat and tacked on.
    First is a ski sequence which embarrasses a series that was heretofor known for doing them exceptionally well. Poorly edited and choreographed and as dull as they come, it’s known foremost for that fact that 3 of the parahawks take themselves out without any help from Bond.
    There is also a drab scene in a caviar factory which serves as yet another advertisement for the latest BMW model and yet another showcase for Brosnan’s ability to run around with a gun in his hand. It’s hard to believe that an attack featuring helicopters sporting dangling circular saw blades can be so sleep inducing on screen. I remember the scene chiefly for the fact that said helicopters hovered inexplicably in the same place for ridiculously long periods of time, allowing Bond to run to his car and get a missile lock on one, and to blast the other one with a flare gun.
    Sandwiched in between these action disgraces is an encounter with a villain in an underground nuclear facility that I remember primarily for Bond running, jumping & sommersaulting around like an idiot.
    There was absolutly no tension in any of these scenes.

    8. M - This was the entry that started the unfortunate trend of including more scenes of that national treasure, Judi Dench. Whoever came up with this bright idea needs to be fired, preferably with cause. It is something that we have had to endure for another painful 13 years, until she was finally dispatched, with my gratitude, in SF.
    M makes so many mistakes in this movie, apparently guided by her 'mother' (I'm shifting in my seat again as I remember the drama) instincts. This is the head of MI6? Please... I'm surprised she wasn't fired after this.

    The only saving grace for me is Sophie Marceau as Electra King. This woman is full out crazy & megalomaniacal, and Sophie plays her for all it’s worth, reveling in her lunacy. One of the series’ best IMO, and it’s very unfortunate that her excellent performance was in this particular shambles of a movie.

    Ultimately it's hokey tripe & I can't watch it without feeling annoyed.

    There. I've let it all out. I'm done.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    bondjames wrote: »
    chrisisall wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    I can get into it in detail here but I may offend some so I won't.
    Oh go ahead! That's what this thread is for! To say what you like without reprisal.

    Well here goes then. My rant on TWINE

    Many have a go at DAD, but in my humble opinion, this utter shambles of an entry was chiefly responsible for accelerating Brosnan’s exit from the franchise & the eventual reboot. DAD just delivered the kick off the cliff.

    One of the most embarrassing attempts at adding ‘depth’ to the Bond universe in its 50 year history, it’s a moronic cheesefest display of the first order that has the audacity to take itself seriously. It should be looked upon for what it is, a snoozefest travesty of near epic proportions.

    Issues (starting with the worst for me at the top):

    1. PB's acting - forced in so many ways. He delivers all the lines poorly, starting with the banker's office: "Perhaps you failed to take into account my...hidden assets." etc. Followed later by "uhh......he was buried with work" and even later by the infamous "Huh" moment when told by Renard of Electra's betrayal. In all instances he almost grimaces when delivering the lines. Awful. Nearly every 'tick' in his acting repertoire was up on the screen for us to see.

    2. PB's facial expressions are almost tragi-comic in this one. From the aforementioned line deliveries to other scenes where he contorts his face in order to deliver supposed acting depth. Like in the final scene when he tells Renard that Electra is dead. Watch that scene carefully and please tell me why he has that face on. It's like he's trying to take a dump.

    I lked PB in GE, TND & even in DAD, but he truly blew it here.

    3. The high-school triangle romance that develops between Bond, Electra & Renard. Horribly done, and I honestly cannot watch the Baku confrontation scene with Electra without shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "Knew where to hurt me......cannot feel alive.....no point in living......" Bloody hell! What is this melodramatic garbage. Moreover it is Bond who was overdramatic and who looked like and acted like the school kid here, not anyone else.

    4. Denise Richards. Horribly miscast and I actually like her in other movies (like Wild Things). Why did they pick her and why did they cast her in the role of nuclear physicist except as some kind of joke perhaps? Were they trying to make us suspend disbelief? People have a go at Halle, but this is pretty close to the bottom of the pile in my opinion.

    5. Renard - Roberty Carlyle. Has there ever been a more boring villain in the franchise. This guy makes Almaric's Greene seem exciting. He is built up to be an 'anarchist'....a man who can feel no pain. I was hoping for quite a villain. When he finally appears he's quite insipid. So he can hold burning rocks.....big wow.......and I'm quite sure I saw him grimacing on several occasions when in fights with Bond. One of the franchise's worst.

    6. Other villains - some of the most unmemorable in the franchise's history.
    Davidov – truly boring and has the unfortunate distinction of being shot in cold blood by Bond and thrown in a dumpster.
    Bullion? Who is this clown? Please tell me they're being serious. We've gone from Jaws to this goof? Only Elvis was worse.

    7. The Action scenes - my word, where to begin...a series of truly sleep inducing by the numbers sequences that are lifeless, flat and tacked on.
    First is a ski sequence which embarrasses a series that was heretofor known for doing them exceptionally well. Poorly edited and choreographed and as dull as they come, it’s known foremost for that fact that 3 of the parahawks take themselves out without any help from Bond.
    There is also a drab scene in a caviar factory which serves as yet another advertisement for the latest BMW model and yet another showcase for Brosnan’s ability to run around with a gun in his hand. It’s hard to believe that an attack featuring helicopters sporting dangling circular saw blades can be so sleep inducing on screen. I remember the scene chiefly for the fact that said helicopters hovered inexplicably in the same place for ridiculously long periods of time, allowing Bond to run to his car and get a missile lock on one, and to blast the other one with a flare gun.
    Sandwiched in between these action disgraces is an encounter with a villain in an underground nuclear facility that I remember primarily for Bond running, jumping & sommersaulting around like an idiot.
    There was absolutly no tension in any of these scenes.

    8. M - This was the entry that started the unfortunate trend of including more scenes of that national treasure, Judi Dench. Whoever came up with this bright idea needs to be fired, preferably with cause. It is something that we have had to endure for another painful 13 years, until she was finally dispatched, with my gratitude, in SF.
    M makes so many mistakes in this movie, apparently guided by her 'mother' (I'm shifting in my seat again as I remember the drama) instincts. This is the head of MI6? Please... I'm surprised she wasn't fired after this.

    The only saving grace for me is Sophie Marceau as Electra King. This woman is full out crazy & megalomaniacal, and Sophie plays her for all it’s worth, reveling in her lunacy. One of the series’ best IMO, and it’s very unfortunate that her excellent performance was in this particular shambles of a movie.

    Ultimately it's hokey tripe & I can't watch it without feeling annoyed.

    There. I've let it all out. I'm done.

    I used to think I didnt mind TWINE too much but I find it very hard to argue with a single word of this. Do you fancy having a crack at DAD now just for my own entertainment?
  • Posts: 1,146
    bondjames wrote: »
    Personally, it is TWINE that really grates for me, for many reasons. I am not ashamed to say I much prefer watching DAD (despite its obvious and numerous flaws) to TWINE. I can get into it in detail here but I may offend some so I won't. I just can't stand TWINE to be quite frank.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with stating one's opinion as long as you're not being rude to anyone. There's politeness and then there's cheerleading, which ignores critical thinking.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    I used to think I didnt mind TWINE too much but I find it very hard to argue with a single word of this. Do you fancy having a crack at DAD now just for my own entertainment?

    In fact, I saw DAD a few weeks back and realized I actually enjoy watching it for what it is. Mindless, dumb entertainment that can't be taken too seriously. Many (including yourself) have critiqued that one far better than I could.

    TWINE on the other hand, I personally just can't stand for all the above reasons and I just had to let it out. Quite therapeutic as I feel much better now.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    edited January 2015 Posts: 45,489
    Agree with everything, except I like Denise. Zukovsky is also one of the most overrated allies in the series. Only the title song and sequence was classy.
  • RC7RC7
    edited January 2015 Posts: 10,512
    I don't think there's anything wrong with stating one's opinion as long as you're not being rude to anyone. There's politeness and then there's cheerleading, which ignores critical thinking.

    This is a Bond fan forum, cheerleading goes with the territory. You'll find many if not all people in here show a level of critical thinking at times, but most members allow themselves to indulge in a little subjectivity. It's hard to quantify one's obsessions at times. I would highly recommend joining a general film forum if you want to debate everything on an objective level.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    I like Zukovsky/Coltrane a lot, but he's better written in GE.

    (Damn, just realised that's a positive)
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    Zukovsky is also one of the most overrated allies in the series.

    Agreed. I hate him in TWINE - hes only there for laughs and pretty lame laughs at that - apart from his death scene which is quite a nice moment between the two.

    Hes not too bad in GE apart from one moment that really winds me up - how can he tell that he has a Walther PPK trained on the back of his head? Its miles out of his field of vision, has he got 360 degree eyesight like a fly? If youre trying to tell me he can tell a make and model of gun just from the sound of it cocking I'm not having it.
  • Posts: 1,146
    RC7 wrote: »
    I don't think there's anything wrong with stating one's opinion as long as you're not being rude to anyone. There's politeness and then there's cheerleading, which ignores critical thinking.

    This is a Bond fan forum, cheerleading goes with the territory. You'll find many if not all people in here show a level of critical thinking at times, but most members allow themselves to indulge in a little subjectivity. It's hard to quantify one's obsessions at times. I would highly recommend joining a general film forum if you want to debate everything on an objective level.

    Well, that's your opinion, so now you want to censor critical thinking on any level, even on a thread about negativity? If you don't feel like you don't want to defend or debate your point of view, that's fine. You don't need to quantify your opinions, but stopping others from expressing theirs is wrong.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    What about Wade? I'm surprised no one's ranted about him yet. I don't mind him either but again I prefer him in GE.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    edited January 2015 Posts: 9,117
    RC7 wrote: »
    I don't think there's anything wrong with stating one's opinion as long as you're not being rude to anyone. There's politeness and then there's cheerleading, which ignores critical thinking.

    This is a Bond fan forum, cheerleading goes with the territory. You'll find many if not all people in here show a level of critical thinking at times, but most members allow themselves to indulge in a little subjectivity. It's hard to quantify one's obsessions at times. I would highly recommend joining a general film forum if you want to debate everything on an objective level.

    Well, that's your opinion, so now you want to censor critical thinking on any level, even on a thread about negativity? If you don't feel like you don't want to defend or debate your point of view, that's fine. You don't need to quantify your opinions, but stopping others from expressing theirs is wrong.

    I agree. I'm just dubious about one thing - does the dictionary definition of 'critical thinking' state: 'regurgitating verbatim everything you read on Rotten Tomatoes'?
  • RC7RC7
    Posts: 10,512
    RC7 wrote: »
    I don't think there's anything wrong with stating one's opinion as long as you're not being rude to anyone. There's politeness and then there's cheerleading, which ignores critical thinking.

    This is a Bond fan forum, cheerleading goes with the territory. You'll find many if not all people in here show a level of critical thinking at times, but most members allow themselves to indulge in a little subjectivity. It's hard to quantify one's obsessions at times. I would highly recommend joining a general film forum if you want to debate everything on an objective level.

    Well, that's your opinion, so now you want to censor critical thinking on any level, even on a thread about negativity? If you don't feel like you don't want to defend or debate your point of view, that's fine. You don't need to quantify your opinions, but stopping others from expressing theirs is wrong.

    Where did I say anything about censoring critical thinking? I just said you should expect cheerleading on this site, so you might as well stop worrying about it. It happens.
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    I like Zukovsky/Coltrane a lot, but he's better written in GE.

    (Damn, just realised that's a positive)

    Yeah, he's nowhere near as good in TWINE, there was spunk to him in GE, in TWINE he comes across as a quite vanilla, he doesn't seem to have the edge.
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