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JW is just as bad as that other JW. And the third.
I think I state broad opinions about a picture, and if someone disagees, I can be specific. I thought I was being so when I explained that TND is working well enough until the HALO jump. Just like DAD is actually chugging along well enough until the Cuba dive. Literally.
The only thing I would add is the ridiculous plot to kill Sir Robert King which relies entirely on the £3m he paid for the stolen report being paid back in CASH, rather than, say, a simple bank transfer? And why is Bond even pretending to be a banker, apart from to allow PB to spout abysmal lines about 'perfectly rounded figures'?!? I understand this scene was heavily cut because of the decision to include the boat chase in the PTS so perhaps it was originally explained better but I guess we should be grateful this film isn't a second longer than it is already.
I remember walking out the cinema on opening night with a few friends and actually feeling EMBARRASSED that I'd invited them along to suffer this!
Agreed @DrShatterhand and thanks. I too was embarrassed after watching for the first time, and found myself not mentioning it to casual fans who are friends. That's never happened before or since. I advocate strongly for QoS & LTK despite them not being liked by many casual fans.
The worst thing is that Marceau was wasted on this film. Electra King was a great villain and if she had someone better to play off of (rather than the insipid Carlyle-Renard) I shudder to think about how good she would have been. She's delicious in her all out crazy mode at the end.
Tragically I find myself compelled to agree with you for once.
I struggle to decide which moment I find more bolllocks - the inanity of having a door 50 feet above the Thames or Bond driving for about 2 miles down a street in the boat.
It's a shame as these moronic moments bookend some fantastic stunt work. I think one of Pierce's finest moments in the role is getting hit with a faceful of Thames water as you see him bouncing over the waves for real.
Not to mention the moment when Brosnan becomes possessed by Moore and does his tie up underwater. Doh
Great post, know that your time writing it was not waisted!
That mad me very mad because if Bond did it for 100 yards it was a cool little stunt. Doing it for 500 yards (and I believe even turning corners[!]) took it into ridiculousness. As much hate as the "Bondola" gets, at least it didn't violate the laws of physics when it was driving past confused dogs and double-taking pigeons.
[-(
They do, but they make the very clever decision to make the general audience rather than the die-hard core fans the people they need to please.
Came to exactly the same realisation myself over Xmas. Saw DAD and realised that while it's total garbage, if you approach it as bottom feeding popcorn dross, it actually has a trash B movie entertainment value - so bad it's good kind of thing. TWINE on the other hand, as you rightly point out, makes the cardinal sin of taking itself seriously. Add in the endless faults, which you nicely summarise, and it is arguably the worst in the series. Certainly the most mind-drainingly tedious. I really dislike GE as well but TWINE trumps it on a number of fronts.
Love the way you reference Broz's ghastly acting and the omnipresent M. Btw those responsible for having M in every other scene are called Purvis and Wade and they've written the new screenplay for Spectre. Apparently you can't make a Bond movie without them.
This is such a great thread.
I hate AVTAK. I think it's one of the worst Bond films and it might be the cringiest, most embarassing Bond films ever.
Some people often say it's an underrated gem and I agree it has it's highlights. Walken is great and Barry's score is great. But this isn't the thread to discuss the highlights. This is where we discuss the lowpoints and AVTAK has so many.
First of all let's look at James Bond. Bond is meant to be the definition of cool, a suave badass secret agent. Men are meant to want to be him and women are meant to be with him. James Bond in AVTAK is not cool. He dresses a deluded old man having a mid life crisis. Seeing Roger Moore's stunt double running around in tracksuits having shockingly bad fist fights, with dubbed "oofs" and "arghs" and "woahs" from the man himself, is cringe worthy. Through his many interpretations on screen, one thing about Bond has always been consistent. He's always been cool. James Bond in A View To A Kill is not cool. When a 58 year old post face lift Roger Moore slips on a pair of ridiculously naff sunglasses, it's hard to believe it's the same character as Connery in his DN intro, as Brosnan when he flicked his head to the side as bullets slammed next to him in GE, as Craig when he lept from a digger to a moving train and adjusted his cuffs in SF.
It sounds like I hate Roger Moore. I don't. I really like the guy and I think he was a great James Bond, which makes AVTAK all the more disappointing. He was way too old, completely wrong for the part at this point, and it doesn't help that rather than acknowledging his age and do something interesting, they just act like he's still in his 20s. It's embarassing,
In fact that's a word I think applies a lot to AVTAK. Embarassing. The shockingly bad fist fights. Moore's stunt double taking up the majority of screentime. A Bond pushing 60 pulling fit 20 odd year old girls with ridiculous ease. A disturbing sex scene where Bond bangs Grace Jones. The beach boys playing as Roger Moore's stunt double snowboards down a mountain towards an iceberg submarine with a union jack on the hatch. An embarassingly shit damsel in distress Bond girl who does nothing but need rescuing and fails to notice a massive fucking blimp floating up behind her!
In fact the action in the film is all below par, mainly because of the obvious stunt double use. But what's even worse is that this was the 80s. It's a golden age of action films so to see Bond, the original action hero, falling so far behind the competition at this point, is shameful. Police Story
came out in 1985. Jackie Chan slid down a pole through glass and electrocuted himself, for real. He hung off the back of a speeding bus with an umberella, for real. Meanwhile James Bond needs a stunt double to chase Grace Jones up the stairs. In 1985 we had one of the most badass moments in film history in First Blood Part 2 with "Murdock, I'm coming for you", and Rambo was mowing down bad guys, blowing up boats and helicopters, just generally being a badass. Meanwhile James Bond is oofing and arghing and woahing yelling "get me off this crazy thing" while him (oops, sorry, his stunt double) is hanging off the back of a fire engine ladder after spraying a cop in the face with water, or jumping onto a boat and landing in a wedding cake.
And then there's the plot, which not only is a lazy Goldfinger retread, it also contains a pretty pointless plot about horse racing which takes up a good chunk of the screentime.
What's even worse is that this comes after the brilliant Octopussy, which is a great film would have been a brilliant end to the Moore era. But no, they made one too many and it resulted in one of the worst, most embarassing, cringe worthy entries in the series. It would've been better with Dalton but even then, the film would need to be reworked massively to be even halfway decent imo.
Christ even for me that's a bit strong. Comparing the hilarious Last Of The Summer Wine smackdown in the warehouse in AVTAK with the seminal stunt work of Police Story is harsh in the extreme. The PTS and finale of Police Story are phenomenal whereas in AVTAK we get Rog hanging in front of a blue screen going 'ooooh' while an antenna hits him in the nads.
Stacy Sutton remains the only person in history snuck up on by a blimp.
I can't disagree with anything you've said. I am a massive Roger Moore fan, but I cringe when watching this, which is only once every 5 years or so. The only thing I'll suggest is I think it is May Day who bangs Bond and not the other way round. A particularly disturbing scene to visualize.
I also think they made very poor use of one of America's greatest cities in San Francisco. There was so much more they could have done other than a naff firetruck chase. We should have at least had a great car chase on those streets to rival Bullitt.
The scene at Tracy's house is the absolute pits. Tucking her in and baking quiche. I realize he's old, but does Bond have to act like he's her father?
Moore was massive box office, and Cubby loved him, so this mess was made. I think they all are embarrassed by it (Moore certainly is).
Anyway, excellent summary.
I realised AVTAK was pretty lax when I saw that both Roberts and Moore looked fully made-up despite coming out of a burning building and having direct contact with the flames. Honestly...there's not one mark of soot on either of them.
Stacy is beyond horrible; I think I put her even below Jinx. So annoying; there was not one moment in the film where I liked her character.
Skyfall, Scriptwriter Dr Seuss
"I like you better without your berretta"
He's still rookie Bond, that's his excuse for that move. If he does that in SP, he's out.