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Stacy Sutton was truly awful. How EON allow her to happen?
Halle Berry on the other hand. Bloody hell.
if TMWTGG is a disgrace to Fleming... then DAD was the equivalent of taking all of Fleming's original manuscripts of the original novels to Fleming's grave, digging up his body, dumping all the manuscripts into his open casket, burning them, and then defecating on all the ashes and Fleming himself.... that film is an abomination.
Seconded. TMWTGG trumps DAD any day of the week and twice on Sunday. DAD is a farce masquerading as a Bond film IMO.
I really don't hate DAD or TMWGG that much. Like someone said first half of DAD is actually pretty good.
BUT yeah the ice parachute ski stunt is just too hooky.
I think what infuriates me the most about my beloved Bond is we have some great PTS's but we usually are not blessed with the best most satisfying endings.
Excellent point. The endings have been big disappointments of late for me too. GE was the last one I really liked.
DN- Felix had to drive back & attach another line to Bond's Boat; asked him why he's so immature.
FRWL- Bond & Tatianna got stopped by police & cited for throwing trash in the water.
GF- It was fun under the chute, but the 20 mile hike back to civilization had Pussy cursing out Bond like a dock worker.
TB- Everyone was saddened by the discovery of Domino's broken neck.
TMWTGG- While Bond & Goodnight were getting busy, Nic Nack fell to his death through the cabin ceiling.
TSWLM- Triple X, in a fit of embarrassment, shot Bond anyway.
MR- The attempt failed because Bond never trained in zero-G.
FYEO- The PM sent Bond a covert love letter later saying she really would like to give him a kiss.
AVTAK- The robot went into the shower & electrocuted them.
TLD- A random bodyguard drew his weapon and demanded the Muhajideen disarm & the ensuing firefight killed most of the people in the room.
GE- A sexually frustrated Bond decided Wade was a dick.
TLD- Bond & Lin suffered second degree sun burns the next day waiting to be found.
CR- In grief, Bond drank himself to death.
1. I absolutely loathe the end titles song of GE. It's the musical equivalent of your flight being delayed by 4 hours. It's like a Dyson (the vaccum cleaner, not Bond reviewer) sucking out your soul and will to live. Christ knows AWTD is bad but at least you can stay awake for its duration. I'm afraid I will never know who the foley artist on GE is because I've long since ejected the disc before it gets down to him.
Talk about phoning your work in; Serra's score was bad enough already but with this he was sending it in by carrier pigeon. Bond had been AWOL for 6 years so we should be signing off with some triumphant bombast a la CR but all we get is the musical equivalent of bring slapped in the face with a damp cloth that has been used to clean behind the toilet. EON had the balls to bin his tank chase sequence so why not do the same here and just play the Bond theme turned up to 11?
2. The CGI parasurfing is not just bad in the context of a DAD it is probably the most embarrassing FX sequence committed to film since Superman IV except that film had its biggest slash like one of Jack the Ripper's victims. What's DAD's excuse for saying 'yeah 10 years after T2 we are happy with these effects that look like they were done 10 years before DN.' The original King Kong is more convincing.
3. The invisible car. A concept so retarded that whoever first mooted it should have been sacked on the spot. But apparently the consenus around the table at that script meeting was 'yeah let's go with it'. Just because EON rectified their mistakes with CR shouldn't let people forget. We are still overdue a Nuremburg style trial for crimes against Fleming committed by DAD and I don't think we should rule out the death penalty in some cases.
4. Jinx. Do I really need to say any more? Well I will anyway. Every second she is on the screen my eyeballs feel like they are starring in Un Chien Andalou. Apart from a gratuitous close up of her tits in a bikini (which is apparently an homage of some sort directed by a pubescent teenager) there is nothing to recommend this character as like a cancerous growth her screen time gets bigger and bigger eventually impairing the film to such an extent that it dies screaming and vomiting blood.
By the final reel where they enter the US base it is not a Bond film any more but a double act with her getting as much screen time as Bond. But the truly insulting thing, the real moment where Babs and MGW pull down their pants and cover Fleming's and Cubby's coffins in warm piss is the notion that it would be a good idea to have a spin off series featuring this abortion of a character. If someone in a mental asylum scrawled 'Lets make a Jinx spinoff film' in their own shit on the walls of their room they would be justifiably sent for electro shock therapy to the head or simply lobotomised but when Babs and MGW come up with it the studio indulges them up to the point where a script is actually written! I could almost forgive EON Jinx appearing in DAD because maybe before Berry and Tamahori mangled it the character looked ok on paper and even if they felt it was shit once you start the juggernaut of such a big film rolling its impossible to stop it.
But the spinoff decision was taken in the cold light of day. They have actually sat down and looked at DAD and thought 'you know what would really work? Get rid of that Bond arsehole and lets just have more Jinx'. F**k me even Lucas realised Jar Jar Binks was such a disgrace he virtually left him out of the other films but not these two and no amount of CRs or SFs can gloss over that. Simply disgraceful.
5. The Kung fu schoolgirls. Is this supposed to be funny? Is this all you had to do and the most creatively moribund era of Bond - just write in to EON and say I'm a teenage girl and I fancy being in the new film and they said 'ok'. Was the slide whistle over the car jump sent in by a 5 year old? What about JW being pushed in the canal? The more I think about it the more I think TMWTGG was the result of some competition on the back of a cereal packet wher kids were told to send in their ideas and the 5 most embarrassing would make the final film.
Just for you, though, @Benny, I'm going to rag on what I intensely dislike about Octopussy.
The Tarzan yell
Bond telling the tiger to "Sit!"
The "tennis match" scene
Motorized rickshaws
The curry quip
The whole elephant hunt stuff
The insipid, uninspiring, almost sleep inducing title song
Fake crocodile sub
Vijay's death
I completely agree with all of these points. Kaufman was a cool character, why was this career character actor chosen for that role?????
and TND just falls apart right after the HALO jump. Right off the table.
Hey, that Danish tasted okay to Bond.
That Danish was spoiled.
now that you mention it, i agree with you on this one.... i like the way the scene played out in the end, and it was one of Brozz's best moments in the role (as fleeting as they were).. but IMO, the scene and character of DK were ruined with the "Did you call the auto club???" line.. the minute Stamper calls, the tension in the scene goes right out the window..
Be Serious @chrisisall...all this Brosnan bashing is bad for my health... :((
parts of his films - yes.
And another thing I can't stand is: over the top, mega corny double takes ... by pigeons, winos, or anybody.
To this list of OP hate (ooh I like this), can I add EVERYTHING that happens in India. Not only does it feature every snake-charming sword-swollowing bed-of-nails tiger-hunting cliche known to man, the only reason we go there is for Kamal Khan, who turns out to be completely bloody irrelevant.