The Bond Movies & Actors I Can't Stand (Negativity Only Please)

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  • Posts: 1,146
    Murdock wrote: »
    Connery's "pain faces" are even funnier. ;)
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    I agree! LOL!
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117
    I hate the Thunderball PTS. In fact I'd say it's one of the worst in the series. The JB on the coffin is a cheap trick that nobody would ever actually fall for anyway. The jetpack is stupid and it looks naff, even if it was real, and Bond looks like a dick with the helmet on. Also, why is it there? Did Bond fly it there to get in? If so wouldn't that have attracted a shit load of attention? And what's the point if it can only fly a short distance anyway? It seems impractical and pointless as well as unrealistic and silly. Also, there is no reason at all for the SPECTRE agent to attend his own funeral. It's sloppy writing. And Bond deduces who he really is simply based on him opening a car door? That's really dumb, he got lucky, there's a good chance he could have ended up punching an innocent grieving widow. Also, the fight is unimpressive. It's just stuff being broken and knocked over. Lots of crashing and banging but the fight itself is meh, disappointing from the people who bought us Bond vs Grant. And then there's the water gadget on the DB5. Another naff gadget and a poor transition into the title sequence.

    I don't like Naomi Harris as Moneypenny. At all. She's wooden, she has terrible line delivery at times and the lack of chemistry between her and Daniel Craig makes the flirting cringe worthy (compare them to Maxwell and Connery, or Bond and Brosnan). I remember before SF, I thought Naomi would end up being the better Bond girl (sonce Berenice hadn't done much acting before). But Berenice blew me away, she was brilliant despite not getting much screen time and she's now my favourite Bond girl of all time. Naomi on the other hand really didn't impress me at all. Hope she has less screentime in SP.

    I also hate the way Tanner has been handled in the films. In the books he was an ex military man who was mates with Bond. In the films he used to just be a bland guy who stood in M's office some times and now he's just a dull exposition/product placement man. I hated it when he was cowering behind the desk in the SF courtroom shootout. Tanner was a war hero in the books, but in the film his boss is in danger and he hides behind a desk the whole time? They turned Moneypenny, a secretary, into this kick ass woman of action so why not do the same with Tanner?

    The best Tanner was by far Colin Samone in the Brosnan films, he was great, I really liked him. I know his character wasn't actually called Tanner but he basically was. He hung around with M, he was friends with Bond and when shit went down he could handle himself well, plus he could use a gun so it's fairly safe to assume that he had some sort of military experience. He was Fleming's Tanner in all but name. Kinnear and the rest of them are not.


    Really have to applaud all of this.

    Rory Kinnear's Tanner in particular is an absolute embarrassment.

    In the books (although I can take him or leave him) he's a guy who's second in command to M so exudes some authority. He's seen action and you know he can handle himself and he actually has banter with Bond.

    Compare this to Kinnear. Are you telling me if M is indisposed this bloke could run the service? If the ATAC was lost Kinnear could deal with a truculent minister and dish out orders to Bond?

    This is a guy who just sits on his arse as he gets warning after warning to get M out of the building and then when it all kicks off he's the first one under the desk.

    And banter? The bloke just stands in the background all day, as grey as a John Major tribute act, and is occasionally asked to spout some exposition.

    If I was making a film called 'Watching Paint Dry' I'd certainly be interested in giving Rory an audition for the lead role of 'Paint' but you shouldn't really be putting someone with negative screen presence on the big screen. If for example you put Rory and Connery in the same scene the net effect of Rory's drag factor on Sean means the sum total of screen charisma would be like watching Ken Barlow.

    I'm sure Kinnear's a nice enough bloke and if he was playing assistant manager of a branch of M&S I think he'd be quite convincing but deputy head of MI6? Really?

    Shockingly miscast in a horribly written role.

  • Posts: 1,146
    Yeah, don't agree with any of this 'cept that Colin Salmon was/is cool.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Thunderball kicks ass. That fight at the start is brutal. Roger Moore judo chopping? That's a different kind of brutal
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    Thunderball kicks ass.
    Ummm, how is this negative? Please stay on topic.

  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Moonraker sucked the chrome off my hubcaps
  • Posts: 1,146
    Thunderball kicks ass. That fight at the start is brutal. Roger Moore judo chopping? That's a different kind of brutal

    Totally agree, Crown, love TB. That guy grabs the poker and clubs Bond with it! Brutal.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    Totally agree, Crown, love TB. That guy grabs the poker and clubs Bond with it! Brutal.
    Once more with feeling- stay on topic. Negativity ONLY.
    [-X
  • Posts: 1,146
    Sure! The Rog films are so bad they have to be re-edited to make them cool.
    Take out that whistle!
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    This might be a great thread to air another well known grievance of mine.

    I can't stand Mary Goodnight/Britt Eckland. A horribly written, horribly dated, horribly unfunny character played by an annoying actress. Moore disliked her and, listening to Britt Eckland being interviewed, she sounds like one of those washed up trollops from the 60s and 70s who thinks she's still sexy.

    Wow...I surprised myself there :-O
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    I'm sure Kinnear's a nice enough bloke and if he was playing assistant manager of a branch of M&S I think he'd be quite convincing but deputy head of MI6? Really?

    :)) :))

    Have you seen The Imitation Game? He's in that and plays one of the Detectives investigating Turing.
  • TheWizardOfIceTheWizardOfIce 'One of the Internet's more toxic individuals'
    Posts: 9,117

    BAIN123 wrote: »
    I'm sure Kinnear's a nice enough bloke and if he was playing assistant manager of a branch of M&S I think he'd be quite convincing but deputy head of MI6? Really?

    :)) :))

    Have you seen The Imitation Game? He's in that and plays one of the Detectives investigating Turing.

    Yeah and he's as bland as a boiled potato served in a water jus in that too.

    Again the only purpose he serves is as a conduit for Turing to deliver exposition.

    Didn't he play Hamlet or Macbeth at the Old Vic a while back? That must've been the hottest ticket in town: 'To sleep, perchance to dream' - yep that would be most members of the audience watching anything you're in Rory.
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    This might be a great thread to air another well known grievance of mine.

    I can't stand Mary Goodnight/Britt Eckland. A horribly written, horribly dated, horribly unfunny character played by an annoying actress. Moore disliked her and, listening to Britt Eckland being interviewed, she sounds like one of those washed up trollops from the 60s and 70s who thinks she's still sexy.

    Wow...I surprised myself there :-O

    I'll give you that one too. I saw her at the launch of the 50th Blu Ray box set at HMV with Richard Kiel. She reminded me of that episode of Red Dwarf where they find a pod containing a woman and it turns out to be some bird who's been dead for 10 million years.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    Roger Moore making his fish face every time he kisses a girl
  • DrShatterhandDrShatterhand Garden of Death, near Belfast
    Posts: 805
    Murdock wrote: »
    Connery's "pain faces" are even funnier. ;)i
    day_1_z5.jpg
    600full-never-say-never-again-screenshot.jpg
    vlcsnap-2012-12-19-00h39m57s203.png

    Sorry but these are WAY funnier...
    LL
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,582
    Roger Moore making his fish face every time he kisses a girl
    I always wonder why he does that? And how as well.
    He seems to be trying to suck the girl's face likes she's a drinking straw or something. I try and mimic the action, and its surprisingly hard.

  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,582
    roger-moore-james-bond-kissing-holly-goodhead-lois-chiles-in-moonraker.png?w=600&h=301
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 669
    The TB pre-title sequence goes from great to terrible in about thirty seconds flat. To me, that thirty second span signifies the official end of the Connery era. It goes from clever (the assassin dressed as the woman) to brutal (the fight scene) to absolutely stupid and ri-freakin-diculous (JET PACK ESCAPE? SERIOUSLY?!). It’s indicative of the tone that the movies would start taking.

    Speaking of absolutely stupid and ridiculous, MR has what can only be called both the best and worst PTS of the entire series. The conceit is a great one and the stuntwork is utterly breathtaking. However, just like the rest of the movie, anything good about it is completely ruined by the onset of juvenile silliness. Jaws flapping his arms like a bird, the circus music, Jaws even surviving in the first place...disgusting. AND WHY IS HE EVEN ON THE PLANE?! DRAX DOESN’T CALL UP HENCHMEN-ARE-US UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE! Oh, wow, just thinking about it makes me want to punch my fist through a wall. Or a MR fan. Either one will do.

    Lee Tamahori is the devil. Everything he did with DAD, from the bullet flying towards the screen during the gun barrel (and that’s the least of his offences), from directing Halle Berry to emphasize every stupid double entendre (“I think I got the THRUST of it!”) to the absurd speed-up/slow-down editing, to the horrible CGI (especially the ice-filled “wave”) to Toby Stevens’ nails-on-a-chalkboard overacting to the sheer fact that Michael Madsen is even in a Bond movie in the first place...the whole thing gets me so worked up that I’m pounding so hard on my keyboard as I type this that my wife just came into the room and asked if I was all right. Ugh. Lee Tamahori...why do you exist on the planet? Can’t you just fly away and live on, like, Neptune or something, far away from any movie cameras? On a side note, I will allow for the probability that choosing Madonna for the opening title song and casting her in a cameo role was probably EON’s decision, not Tamahori’s – but if it WAS Tamahori’s decision, then he has been downgraded in my estimation from insect to pond scum.

    Okay...I’m done. I have to go somewhere to calm myself down.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    Murdock wrote: »
    Connery's "pain faces" are even funnier. ;)i
    day_1_z5.jpg
    600full-never-say-never-again-screenshot.jpg
    vlcsnap-2012-12-19-00h39m57s203.png

    Sorry but these are WAY funnier...
    LL

    For me the funniest one hands down isn't included here. The moment when Mr Kil is strangling Bond during their fight in DAD.

    Tbh I never noticed his "pain face" until I saw it mentioned on here when I first joined.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    The TB pre-title sequence goes from great to terrible in about thirty seconds flat. To me, that thirty second span signifies the official end of the Connery era. It goes from clever (the assassin dressed as the woman) to brutal (the fight scene) to absolutely stupid and ri-freakin-diculous (JET PACK ESCAPE? SERIOUSLY?!). It’s indicative of the tone that the movies would start taking.

    Speaking of absolutely stupid and ridiculous, MR has what can only be called both the best and worst PTS of the entire series. The conceit is a great one and the stuntwork is utterly breathtaking. However, just like the rest of the movie, anything good about it is completely ruined by the onset of juvenile silliness. Jaws flapping his arms like a bird, the circus music, Jaws even surviving in the first place...disgusting. AND WHY IS HE EVEN ON THE PLANE?! DRAX DOESN’T CALL UP HENCHMEN-ARE-US UNTIL HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE! Oh, wow, just thinking about it makes me want to punch my fist through a wall. Or a MR fan. Either one will do.

    Lee Tamahori is the devil. Everything he did with DAD, from the bullet flying towards the screen during the gun barrel (and that’s the least of his offences), from directing Halle Berry to emphasize every stupid double entendre (“I think I got the THRUST of it!”) to the absurd speed-up/slow-down editing, to the horrible CGI (especially the ice-filled “wave”) to Toby Stevens’ nails-on-a-chalkboard overacting to the sheer fact that Michael Madsen is even in a Bond movie in the first place...the whole thing gets me so worked up that I’m pounding so hard on my keyboard as I type this that my wife just came into the room and asked if I was all right. Ugh. Lee Tamahori...why do you exist on the planet? Can’t you just fly away and live on, like, Neptune or something, far away from any movie cameras? On a side note, I will allow for the probability that choosing Madonna for the opening title song and casting her in a cameo role was probably EON’s decision, not Tamahori’s – but if it WAS Tamahori’s decision, then he has been downgraded in my estimation from insect to pond scum.

    Okay...I’m done. I have to go somewhere to calm myself down.

    Someone should arrange for him to do a special Q&A to mark the 15th anniversary of DAD. I would be prepared to pay BIG money just to be at that special event. >:)

    It would make Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time seem tame in comparison.
  • Posts: 11,425
    I hate the Thunderball PTS. In fact I'd say it's one of the worst in the series. The JB on the coffin is a cheap trick that nobody would ever actually fall for anyway. The jetpack is stupid and it looks naff, even if it was real, and Bond looks like a dick with the helmet on. Also, why is it there? Did Bond fly it there to get in? If so wouldn't that have attracted a shit load of attention? And what's the point if it can only fly a short distance anyway? It seems impractical and pointless as well as unrealistic and silly. Also, there is no reason at all for the SPECTRE agent to attend his own funeral. It's sloppy writing. And Bond deduces who he really is simply based on him opening a car door? That's really dumb, he got lucky, there's a good chance he could have ended up punching an innocent grieving widow. Also, the fight is unimpressive. It's just stuff being broken and knocked over. Lots of crashing and banging but the fight itself is meh, disappointing from the people who bought us Bond vs Grant. And then there's the water gadget on the DB5. Another naff gadget and a poor transition into the title sequence.

    I don't like Naomi Harris as Moneypenny. At all. She's wooden, she has terrible line delivery at times and the lack of chemistry between her and Daniel Craig makes the flirting cringe worthy (compare them to Maxwell and Connery, or Bond and Brosnan). I remember before SF, I thought Naomi would end up being the better Bond girl (sonce Berenice hadn't done much acting before). But Berenice blew me away, she was brilliant despite not getting much screen time and she's now my favourite Bond girl of all time. Naomi on the other hand really didn't impress me at all. Hope she has less screentime in SP.

    I also hate the way Tanner has been handled in the films. In the books he was an ex military man who was mates with Bond. In the films he used to just be a bland guy who stood in M's office some times and now he's just a dull exposition/product placement man. I hated it when he was cowering behind the desk in the SF courtroom shootout. Tanner was a war hero in the books, but in the film his boss is in danger and he hides behind a desk the whole time? They turned Moneypenny, a secretary, into this kick ass woman of action so why not do the same with Tanner?

    The best Tanner was by far Colin Samone in the Brosnan films, he was great, I really liked him. I know his character wasn't actually called Tanner but he basically was. He hung around with M, he was friends with Bond and when shit went down he could handle himself well, plus he could use a gun so it's fairly safe to assume that he had some sort of military experience. He was Fleming's Tanner in all but name. Kinnear and the rest of them are not.
    I so agree with you about the whole opening of Thunderball! And the way you put it makes it clear it was totally ridiculous, and not in a good way.

    I respectfully disagree about Naomie as MP; I love her in the role.

    And I always liked Colin as Robinson.

    I do agree about Tanner. Tanner is incredibly bland and even though I kind of like him, his character is so meh. Nothing like in the stories. He was a useless clod during the shootout in the courtroom and did not even protect M (though I know we needed Mallory to save the day there, but still!).

    Totally agree about the TB PTS - dreadful. One of the absolute worst. And Kinear as Tanner is shockingly bad - it's like someone's flung a wet, limp flannel onto the set everytime he appears.

    Harris as MP is also pretty bad but hope she can redeem herself somehow in SP otherwise I'd be happy to see her replaced.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,798
    Sorry but these are WAY funnier...
    No way man, NOTHING beats this

    600full-never-say-never-again-screenshot.jpg
    Too bad it doesn't show the look a second later, that was even better. :))
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,179
    Since we're going negative over NSNA: Bond defeats a heavy with his urine.

    ...

    What were they trying to say with that?
  • Posts: 11,189
    DarthDimi wrote: »
    Since we're going negative over NSNA: Bond defeats a heavy with his urine.

    ...

    What were they trying to say with that?

    That was just taking the piss

  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,179
    @BAIN123, well said, sir! :D
  • Posts: 1,146
    DarthDimi wrote: »
    Since we're going negative over NSNA: Bond defeats a heavy with his urine.

    ...

    What were they trying to say with that?

    That's a not very good gag at the end of a pretty good fight sequence, yes.

    I'll take NSNA over the clown costume, tarzan yell and unthreatening deadly yo-yo any day of the week.

    Not perfect, but does not embarrass the franchise either.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    Posts: 23,883
    I thought the NSNA gag was truly taking the piss (no pun intended) out of the franchise. I did enjoy that scene though.
  • Posts: 11,189
    How is the yo-yo "unthreatening"? It's a bloomin' saw blade and its actually used to KILL SOMEBODY
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    I don't remember much about NSNA (and that is fine with me), so I sure don't remember any urine incident. And I'm happy to leave it at that.

    @chrisisall, Sean's pain face above makes him look like a mad hamster!
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    Here's the fight in the health spa. A bit crap I think. It's mainly played for laughs.



    Personally I find the swordfight in DAD more entertaining.
  • DarthDimiDarthDimi Behind you!Moderator
    Posts: 24,179
    @PDJamesBond

    Please leave out the "GD" level of swearing, sir. It's a family friendly forum. ;-)

    Besides that, I agreed with everything you said. :-)
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