Worst Lines in All of Bond

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  • Posts: 15,106
    dalton wrote: »
    I've always maintained that, while the Christmas Jones character was a poor character and the dialogue left much to be desired, I don't lay too much of the blame at Denise Richards' feet.

    Does she give a poor performance? Sure, she absolutely does. What I'll say in her defense, though, is that it at least looks like she's putting forth some kind of effort. The rest of the actors seem like they're sleepwalking through the film. I don't blame them much for that either since they probably realized early on just how bad the material they were working with was.

    Christmas Jones was poorly written, but a better actress would have at least well, played better. And she might have asked for some lines to be changed.
  • Posts: 1,631
    Ludovico wrote: »
    dalton wrote: »
    I've always maintained that, while the Christmas Jones character was a poor character and the dialogue left much to be desired, I don't lay too much of the blame at Denise Richards' feet.

    Does she give a poor performance? Sure, she absolutely does. What I'll say in her defense, though, is that it at least looks like she's putting forth some kind of effort. The rest of the actors seem like they're sleepwalking through the film. I don't blame them much for that either since they probably realized early on just how bad the material they were working with was.

    Christmas Jones was poorly written, but a better actress would have at least well, played better. And she might have asked for some lines to be changed.

    I don't doubt that.

    I just tend to not want to place too much blame on the only person that really seems to not be sleepwalking through the proceedings. EON (or MGM) hired her almost certainly to simply be the eye candy for the film once Elektra was revealed as the villain. They knew going in that she was limited as an actress, so expecting her to perform up to the levels of seasoned actors like Robert Carlyle and Sophie Marceau was not something that I would suspect was in the cards from the very beginning.
  • DariusDarius UK
    edited October 2015 Posts: 354
    Another TWINE cringer:

    "You'd miss me."
    (Shoots her)
    "I never miss."

    These lines attempt to make light of what is a fairly gruesome situation where Bond is forced to kill an unarmed woman in cold blood -- moreover, a woman he had previously made love to. All they do is heighten the horrendousness of the situation rather than alleviate it.

    I think it would have been much better if the scriptwriters had left out the corny wisecrack and left Bond having a moment of remorse for the action he was forced to take.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    royale65 wrote: »
    "You're so good. Especially when you're bad"

    Oh Pierce, you deserved better old chap.

    Another one! LOL!!! =))
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    bondjames wrote: »
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    jobo wrote: »
    The entire script of DAD. I won't bother with giving examples...

    "I'm Mr. Kil."

    "Now there's a name to die for."


    Hilarious!

    =))

    "I don't like cock fights"

    Spoken by M*****a ;)

    "You want to continue?" ... "Of course I want to bloody continue!"
    "Oh, look! Parachutes for the both of us. Whoops. Not any more."
    "You see, Mr Bond, you can`t kill my dreams. But my dreams can kill you."
    "I was... just testing it out." ...."It`s rather hard, isn`t it?".... "Yes. Very."

    "Wait. Don`t pull it out.".... "I`m not finished with it yet.".... "See? It`s a perfect fit.".... "Leave it in." ...."Well, it`s gotta come out sooner or later." ...."No, leave it in, please." ....."A few more minutes."


    Omg! Friends, the gift keeps on giving! =))
  • Posts: 3,336
    I always laugh at these. DAD is a great comedy lol

    Oh, look! Parachutes for the both of us. Whoops. Not any more."

    "You see, Mr Bond, you can`t kill my dreams. But my dreams can kill you."

    "Wait. Don`t pull it out.".... "I`m not finished with it yet.".... "See? It`s a perfect fit.".... "Leave it in." ...."Well, it`s gotta come out sooner or later." ...."No, leave it in, please." ....."A few more minutes."

  • edited October 2015 Posts: 3,336
    And let me add two

    "There's plenty of time for sleep, when your dead

    "You can't kill my dreams Mr Bond, but my dreams can kill you" (edit: whoops i repeated this one...)

    Great stuff =)
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Darius wrote: »
    Another TWINE cringer:

    "You'd miss me."
    (Shoots her)
    "I never miss."

    These lines attempt to make light of what is a fairly gruesome situation where Bond is forced to kill an unarmed woman in cold blood -- moreover, a woman he had previously made love to. All they do is heighten the horrendousness of the situation rather than alleviate it.

    I think it would have been much better if the scriptwriters had left out the corny wisecrack and left Bond having a moment of remorse for the action he was forced to take.

    He is showing remorse when M's seems him sort of cradling Elektra's body.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    "Time to face destiny."

    *Leaves self vulnerable for 007 to pull the parachute*

    =))
  • DariusDarius UK
    Posts: 354
    Sark wrote: »
    Darius wrote: »
    Another TWINE cringer:

    "You'd miss me."
    (Shoots her)
    "I never miss."

    These lines attempt to make light of what is a fairly gruesome situation where Bond is forced to kill an unarmed woman in cold blood -- moreover, a woman he had previously made love to. All they do is heighten the horrendousness of the situation rather than alleviate it.

    I think it would have been much better if the scriptwriters had left out the corny wisecrack and left Bond having a moment of remorse for the action he was forced to take.

    He is showing remorse when M's seems him sort of cradling Elektra's body.

    Indeed he does, but the wisecrack destroys that moment of remorse completely. All I'm saying is that it is not needed in such a situation. It doesn't lighten the load, rather it makes light of committing such an act.

  • Posts: 11,189
    That's one of the better lines in the film I think. Brosnan is deadly serious in his delivery so I wouldn't call it a wisecrack.
  • Posts: 11,189
    Is a wisecrack after a death necessarily a bad thing? Connery's "she's just dead" line in TB is a cracker.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,244
    Darius wrote: »
    Sark wrote: »
    Darius wrote: »
    Another TWINE cringer:

    "You'd miss me."
    (Shoots her)
    "I never miss."

    These lines attempt to make light of what is a fairly gruesome situation where Bond is forced to kill an unarmed woman in cold blood -- moreover, a woman he had previously made love to. All they do is heighten the horrendousness of the situation rather than alleviate it.

    I think it would have been much better if the scriptwriters had left out the corny wisecrack and left Bond having a moment of remorse for the action he was forced to take.

    He is showing remorse when M's seems him sort of cradling Elektra's body.

    Indeed he does, but the wisecrack destroys that moment of remorse completely. All I'm saying is that it is not needed in such a situation. It doesn't lighten the load, rather it makes light of committing such an act.
    The problem isn't his delivery or the remark. The problem is him then cradling her body. I can imagine him beeing effin' pissed *ff at her actions and pulling the trigger, releasing the tension in a harsh remark (As what @Bain123 sais I don't consider it a wisecrack. The fact that he then bends over her takes this away. It's either bend over (plese don't) or shield emotions behind a remark (please do). But not both.

    DAD obviously deserves a mention in this thread, but as has been said, there are too many quotes to choose from (the interactions between Bond and Jinx beeing by far the worst). But I think Jill's 'You just killed James Bond'followed up by the even worse 'Is that who it is' line at least deserves a spot here too. Even Conner's doubts the line as he follows up with 'well that shows that nobody is invincible'. Yes, turn away and feel ashamed Conners!
  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    edited October 2015 Posts: 2,138
    Zekidk wrote: »
    Here's another contender: "Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat and seem to have lost my way"

    Feel it set a bad precedent for the puns of the Sir Rog era .

    DAF is far from my favourite film, But this is and will always be may favourite scene of dialogue in any of the films. There is a lot of this "Smart ass" smug and playful Bond showing off through out the novels, it's something that was lost after the Connery era and has never really returned in my opinion.

    I was always fond of the way Bernard Lee and Connery's moments on screen it was almost like a head master talking to naughty pupil. Bond gets away with all of his behaviour, tardiness etc because M needs him (M would never tell him to his face), that's something that should always remain.


  • Darius wrote: »
    Sark wrote: »
    Darius wrote: »
    Another TWINE cringer:

    "You'd miss me."
    (Shoots her)
    "I never miss."

    These lines attempt to make light of what is a fairly gruesome situation where Bond is forced to kill an unarmed woman in cold blood -- moreover, a woman he had previously made love to. All they do is heighten the horrendousness of the situation rather than alleviate it.

    I think it would have been much better if the scriptwriters had left out the corny wisecrack and left Bond having a moment of remorse for the action he was forced to take.

    He is showing remorse when M's seems him sort of cradling Elektra's body.

    Indeed he does, but the wisecrack destroys that moment of remorse completely. All I'm saying is that it is not needed in such a situation. It doesn't lighten the load, rather it makes light of committing such an act.

    Elektra was an evil witch who was more than ready to nuke millions of people just to increase her wealth and power. Furthermore, she was at one point on the verge of torturing Bond to death. In that context, I don't think there was anything remotely "horrendous" in Bond executing her. It was merely vermin control.

  • DariusDarius UK
    edited October 2015 Posts: 354
    @Perilagu_Khan

    Yes, she was an evil witch etc., and certainly deserves to die, but that's not the point at issue. We're talking about Bond executing her and rounding it off with a wholly inappropriate wisecrack that belies the remorse he seems to feel a split second later. In this context, the two acts are at variance with each other.

    I believe that this was a missed opportunity for Pierce Brosnan to prove he can really act by bringing out the sheer conflict of motives and emotions that such a scene deserves. Maybe he didn't have the necessary range to do this, so the producers decided on a flippant wisecrack instead.

    When viewing this scene again, I wonder how DC would have handled it. I doubt if his rendition would include such a corny line, knowing as we do the high level of input he has on the scripting process. I dare say he would have used his acting skills to imbue the scene with the necessary emotional clout without having to resort to poor dialogue like this. I mean, it's a classic "fed" one-liner. Elektra feeds him the (outrageously contrived) line and Bond delivers the punchline -- boom boom!

    Give me a break!
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited October 2015 Posts: 8,244
    Darius wrote: »
    @Perilagu_Khan

    Yes, she was an evil witch etc., and certainly deserves to die, but that's not the point at issue. We're talking about Bond executing her and rounding it off with a wholly inappropriate wisecrack that belies the remorse he seems to feel a split second later. In this context, the two acts are at variance with each other.

    I believe that this was a missed opportunity for Pierce Brosnan to prove he can really act by bringing out the sheer conflict of motives and emotions that such a scene deserves. Maybe he didn't have the necessary range to do this, so the producers decided on a flippant wisecrack instead.

    When viewing this scene again, I wonder how DC would have handled it. I doubt if his rendition would include such a corny line, knowing as we do the high level of input he has on the scripting process. I dare say he would have used his acting skills to imbue the scene with the necessary emotional clout without having to resort to poor dialogue like this. I mean, it's a classic "fed" one-liner. Elektra feeds him the (outrageously contrived) line and Bond delivers the punchline -- boom boom!

    Give me a break!
    As I said above:
    The problem isn't his delivery or the remark. The problem is him then cradling her body. I can imagine him beeing effin' pissed *ff at her actions and pulling the trigger, releasing the tension in a harsh remark (As what @Bain123 sais I don't consider it a wisecrack). The fact that he then bends over her takes this away. It's either bend over (please don't) or shield emotions behind a remark (please do). But not both.

    Considering Craig: he's got a similar moment with Vesper when he feels betrayed and says 'allow me' when it comes to killing her (in front of the Venice house). But, other then Brosnan, he doesn't want his soft side to come out subsequently, instead taking down said house.

  • Darius wrote: »
    @Perilagu_Khan

    Yes, she was an evil witch etc., and certainly deserves to die, but that's not the point at issue. We're talking about Bond executing her and rounding it off with a wholly inappropriate wisecrack that belies the remorse he seems to feel a split second later. In this context, the two acts are at variance with each other.

    I believe that this was a missed opportunity for Pierce Brosnan to prove he can really act by bringing out the sheer conflict of motives and emotions that such a scene deserves. Maybe he didn't have the necessary range to do this, so the producers decided on a flippant wisecrack instead.

    When viewing this scene again, I wonder how DC would have handled it. I doubt if his rendition would include such a corny line, knowing as we do the high level of input he has on the scripting process. I dare say he would have used his acting skills to imbue the scene with the necessary emotional clout without having to resort to poor dialogue like this. I mean, it's a classic "fed" one-liner. Elektra feeds him the (outrageously contrived) line and Bond delivers the punchline -- boom boom!

    Give me a break!
    As I said above:
    The problem isn't his delivery or the remark. The problem is him then cradling her body. I can imagine him beeing effin' pissed *ff at her actions and pulling the trigger, releasing the tension in a harsh remark (As what @Bain123 sais I don't consider it a wisecrack). The fact that he then bends over her takes this away. It's either bend over (please don't) or shield emotions behind a remark (please do). But not both.

    Considering Craig: he's got a similar moment with Vesper when he feels betrayed and says 'allow me' when it comes to killing her (in front of the Venice house). But, other then Brosnan, he doesn't want his soft side to come out subsequently, instead taking down said house.

    I agree fully with your first paragraph. The cradling is not merely inconsistent but also downright creepy. Necrophilic tendencies are bad enough, but necrophilia for a monster is even worse. And didn't Broz do something similar with Paris Carver? Maybe not. My memory is slipping.

  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,244
    yes he did. After killing Kaufmann, IIRC.
  • edited October 2015 Posts: 11,189
    yes he did. After killing Kaufmann, IIRC.

    I think it works a bit better there tbh. Bond is saying goodbye to someone he (once) loved.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,244
    True, with Elektra it was just utterly wrong. But his scene with Teri wasn't very believeable either. The only moment Brosnan behaves like Bond is when he's drinking the Vodka.
  • edited October 2015 Posts: 11,189
    The relationship with Paris was poorly written but I've never had a problem with Brosnan kissing Hatcher after finding her dead. Laz does the same thing after Tracy was shot in OHMSS.
  • Creasy47Creasy47 In Cuba with Natalya.Moderator
    Posts: 40,960
    I love the "I never miss." line from TWINE. It's golden.
  • Creasy47 wrote: »
    I love the "I never miss." line from TWINE. It's golden.

    Yes, I thought it was actually pretty clever.

  • Posts: 3,336
    Creasy47 wrote: »
    I love the "I never miss." line from TWINE. It's golden.

    Yes, I thought it was actually pretty clever.

    I like it aswell
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    Me too! Its a TWINE renaissance!
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,244
    I like the line. But it's completely scuttled by what he does next. A great missed opportunity.
  • TripAcesTripAces Universal Exports
    Posts: 4,583
    As much as I loved SF, the lines about the rearview mirror were off the mark (I was fine with the "Circle of life..." line):

    Eve busts one of the rearview mirrors while chasing Patrice.
    Bond: "That's OK. You weren't using it."
    Eve purposely busts the other one.
    "I wasn't using that one, either."
    Bond smiles sheepishly.


  • edited October 2015 Posts: 352
    "How did it happen?"
    Jamaican road worker witnessing baddie's car blow up after chasing Bond.
    Dr. No


  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Indeed he does, but the wisecrack destroys that moment of remorse completely. All I'm saying is that it is not needed in such a situation. It doesn't lighten the load, rather it makes light of committing such an act.

    Your problem is thinking it's a wisecrack. It's a double entendre, sure, but it's supposed to be bitter, not gloating like "What a helpful chap."

    One of my favorite lines from Brosnan, and I've used it a few times myself.
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