Worst Lines in All of Bond

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  • SirHilaryBraySirHilaryBray Scotland
    edited October 2015 Posts: 2,138
    bondjames wrote: »
    "VW Beetles... I think"
    Moneypenny, Skyfall

    I'm surprised that Moneypenny didn't tell us more. It's a VW Bettle, but what's the starting price, and what extras can we have? If they're used, what are the service histories like? Come on Eve, don't keep us waiting.

    Not convinced yet about Harris. I hope Spectre changes my mind. I really dislike the way the scene is delivered by both Dan and Harris at the end of Skyfall "You know, I don't believe we've been formally introduced" "My names Eve, Eve Moneypenny"

    Harris seems to mutter it, the pause is un-natural. I don't know why that take got in. Craig saves it with the look and the follow up "Well I shall enjoy our time together...Ms Moneypenny"

    So this woman shoots Bond, goes to Macau to shave Bonds face and he doesn't say so what's your name?

    Chemistry seems wrong, I really hope the flirting between them in Spectre is more natural.
    100% agree. Poor casting to 'tick a box' imho. I too hope for an improvement in this film (although her spoken words in the trailers leave something to be desired) or else I'm open to a recasting post-Mendes.

    I think the fact I can not find a Harris appreciation thread says it all my friend. I too would be open to a recast post Dan era. I will wait until I have seen Spectre but agree the snippets so far seem to be more of the same. Helen McCrory who played clair Dower MP in Skyfall would have been a much better MP casting,Right under their noses as well. like Dan McCrory ages well.

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  • Posts: 11,189
    I find the "so isn't it about time you unwrapped your present" hilariously bad. Again, the sort of dodgy dialogue and delivery you'd hear in a porn film.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Oh, I'd never of heard any of that then ! :))
  • DariusDarius UK
    Posts: 354
    BAIN123 wrote: »
    I find the "so isn't it about time you unwrapped your present" hilariously bad. Again, the sort of dodgy dialogue and delivery you'd hear in a porn film.

    It's the sort of dialogue and delivery you'd expect to hear in a home made movie shot on a mobile phone in someone's back garden by kids that had little else to do on a Sunday afternoon.

    Goodness me! From the moment we heard the name "Christmas Jones", everyone waited for the rest of the movie to hear this particular shoe fall to the ground.

  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    Hey, mister! You call her Dr. Jones!
  • edited October 2015 Posts: 2,483
    Hey, mister! You call her Dr. Jones!

    If Darius was hoping for a glimmer, I do believe he just blew it.

    diamonds%2Bare%2Bforever%2B07.jpg


  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    "I'll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel" LOL.

    LOL! Awesome! =))
  • DariusDarius UK
    Posts: 354
    Hey, mister! You call her Dr. Jones!

    If Darius was hoping for a glimmer, I do believe he just blew it.

    diamonds%2Bare%2Bforever%2B07.jpg


    Touché. The story of my life.

    ;)
  • Posts: 1,310
    I told myself I was off these forums until Spectre comes out in the USA and here I am. Oh well, here I go...

    From Moonraker:
    Drax: Why did you break off the encounter with my pet python?
    Bond: I discovered he had a crush on me.
    Awful set up by the screenwriters by making Drax ask an incredibly daft question. Why "break off the encounter" with the python? Um...he was gonna kill me?

    From Quantum of Solace:
    Bond: I can't find the stationary...could you come and help me look?
    Some of you already mentioned this one, but it deserves many more mentions. Still trying to find out exactly what the writers were thinking putting this one in there.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    SJK91 wrote: »
    I told myself I was off these forums until Spectre comes out in the USA and here I am. Oh well, here I go...

    From Moonraker:
    Drax: Why did you break off the encounter with my pet python?
    Bond: I discovered he had a crush on me.
    Awful set up by the screenwriters by making Drax ask an incredibly daft question. Why "break off the encounter" with the python? Um...he was gonna kill me?

    From Quantum of Solace:
    Bond: I can't find the stationary...could you come and help me look?
    Some of you already mentioned this one, but it deserves many more mentions. Still trying to find out exactly what the writers were thinking putting this one in there.


    Lol! That! =))
  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    From Quantum of Solace:
    Bond: I can't find the stationary...could you come and help me look?
    Some of you already mentioned this one, but it deserves many more mentions. Still trying to find out exactly what the writers were thinking putting this one in there.

    The writers were on strike. It shows.
  • NicNacNicNac Administrator, Moderator
    Posts: 7,582
    The line that always jumps out at me is (may be paraphrasing, can't remember exactly)

    Electra: What keeps you alive?
    Bond: I take pleasure in great beauty.

    The next line should have been

    Electra: No, cloth ears. I said WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE? I mean, like 'being able to run fast', or 'always carrying a gun'. Stopping mid chase to stare at a beautiful building or woman will probably get you killed. God alive, are you the best Britain has.

    But no, she accepts the reply which in my mind truly bears no resemblance to the question posed.

  • Posts: 2,159
    Spectre has a couple of clunkers, including
    During the car chase - "Oh of course Mr White!!!!"

    Craig's delivery is so incredulous he must recognise how bad it is.

    Other than that I thought the dialogue in Spectre was pretty decent.
  • Aziz_FekkeshAziz_Fekkesh Royale-les-Eaux
    Posts: 403
    Reading through this thread it's kind of disheartening how dumb Bond dialogue can be sometimes. Oh well.
  • Reading through this thread it's kind of disheartening how dumb Bond dialogue can be sometimes. Oh well.

    Duly noted. However, I suspect the average non-Bond film has an even higher dumb-dialogue quotient.

  • Posts: 11,189


    Every line in this scene.

    The worst of the worst IMO is how Halle says "I'm sooo goood"
  • A person approaches you with flaming skewers. Do you

    a) get out of your chair and try and defend yourself

    b) keep still and utter an 'eeeee' noise as though you're embarrassed on said attacker's behalf.
  • NicNac wrote: »
    The line that always jumps out at me is (may be paraphrasing, can't remember exactly)

    Electra: What keeps you alive?
    Bond: I take pleasure in great beauty.

    The next line should have been

    Electra: No, cloth ears. I said WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE? I mean, like 'being able to run fast', or 'always carrying a gun'. Stopping mid chase to stare at a beautiful building or woman will probably get you killed. God alive, are you the best Britain has.

    But no, she accepts the reply which in my mind truly bears no resemblance to the question posed.

    To be fair she meant it in the sense of what pleasure do you get out of life.

  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Yes, nicnac is taking that question way too literally. If Bond answered something like "food, water, shelter and the release of fluids at regular intervals" people would justifiably wonder whether he was on the autism spectrum.
  • DariusDarius UK
    edited October 2015 Posts: 354
    NicNac wrote: »
    The line that always jumps out at me is (may be paraphrasing, can't remember exactly)

    Electra: What keeps you alive?
    Bond: I take pleasure in great beauty.

    The next line should have been

    Electra: No, cloth ears. I said WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE? I mean, like 'being able to run fast', or 'always carrying a gun'. Stopping mid chase to stare at a beautiful building or woman will probably get you killed. God alive, are you the best Britain has.

    But no, she accepts the reply which in my mind truly bears no resemblance to the question posed.

    I have to admit that this line jars a bit with me. It's stating the obvious really; I mean, assuming that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, who doesn't take pleasure in what they would deem to be beauty?

    The other reason why this line jars is that Bond is seeking to flatter Elektra in a flagrant display of uncharacteristic obsequiousness.

  • Posts: 1,068
    'No I'm just looking'

    Is there a best lines in all Bond thread!? There are so many good lines with a few new ones too :D

    'Cuckoo I can see you'
    'Now we know what C stands for'

  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    BAIN123 wrote: »


    Every line in this scene.

    The worst of the worst IMO is how Halle says "I'm sooo goood"

    LOL! Priceless!

    =))
  • Mendes4LyfeMendes4Lyfe The long road ahead
    Posts: 8,392
    Hey guys, just check this out, I found a couple of howlers that no one has mentioned yet:

    First this one from TND:

    'If I didn't know better, I'd say he had a oedipus complex.'

    And this from TWINE:

    'Would you like to check my figures?'

    'Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly rounded.'
  • I actually rather like that line from TND. Pretty clever, really.
  • Posts: 6,396
    Hey guys, just check this out, I found a couple of howlers that no one has mentioned yet:

    First this one from TND:

    'If I didn't know better, I'd say he had a oedipus complex.'

    And this from TWINE:

    'Would you like to check my figures?'

    'Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly rounded.'

    It's an 'edifice complex'. Oedipus means something entirely different.
  • Thunderball007Thunderball007 United States
    Posts: 306
    The World is Not Enough

    "Perhaps you failed to take into account my... hidden assets." :))
  • edited October 2015 Posts: 1,068
    Oh boy, these PB films really are like innuendo double entendre laden carry on films.

    I may inwardly groan upon seeing them in the film but let them pass bit to see them all listed out bare here is embarrassing
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Yes it seems poor old Brosnan's Bond got some real groaners ! ;)
  • Being bought up in the Moore era, I always thought bad puns were part of it all. I think Brosnan's puns stand out more as clunkers because he hadn't got Moore's playful style of delivery. But they weren't that bad.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy My Secret Lair
    Posts: 13,384
    Oh, I love puns :D But Sir Roger was the master, he had that little glint in the
    Eye.
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