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"Does the criminal underworld bring you down (it's kinda in the name, after all)? Do you feel filthy, morally or bodily, after spending a great deal of time in it? If that's a yes, look no further: QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash will wipe away all your discomfort and stench from your hours of toil negotiating deals with shadow governments, bumping off elected officials and swapping land deeds and resource caches for classified data that can shape the world to your whims."
QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash: The #1 recommended male hygiene brand by those who have people everywhere.*
*QuantumFoam does not represent or condone the actions of real criminals making real deals with shadow governments or those who assassinate political enemies and engage in corrupt deals with big or small intelligence agencies in countries around the globe for illicit and/or dangerous ends. QuantumFoam also doesn't wish to glorify the criminal underworld and the moral filth that one can sustain while working as a part of it. QuantumFoam would further like to express that it is only a shampoo and body wash company and, if a consumer wanted to wash away their experiences while working in the aforementioned criminal underworld, QuantumFoam are not liable if the foam does not scrub away their immoral acts and vices, or erase any subpoenas from the courts they have had imposed upon them by their aforementioned immoral acts and vices. QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash can purge and cleanse only bodily concerns and would endorse a priest and bible study group for that particular quagmire.
Bear witness to the startling and rejuvenating power of QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash, with its ability to make a dying man look and feel alive again:
*The above individual is not an affiliate of the QuantumFoam brand and receives no monetary stimulus by supporting our company with his image beyond the fee we must pay to all our advertising models and representatives. The individual is also not an actor, but a real QuantumFoam success story, and the before and after images have not been manipulated via photo editing software of any kind. The effects of QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash speak for themselves and meet the high expectations that the QuantumFoam executive board of hygienics upholds as the gold standard for male grooming products.
QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash: The #1 recommended male hygiene brand by those who have people everywhere.
Also, remember: Hitler was right about a few things, such as
quantumfoam kills gandruff and dangruff and other stuff
I have copyrighted all new souls here.
Alas, it is the story of my life. I know of no other experience...beyond my own invisibility.
Am I really here? Am I really anywhere? What is it to be and, damn it all, what is it to do and be done?
I just want to fast track to the multiverse where I'm Batman. At least if I'm still brooding forlorn and cycling through a series of self-destructive acts, I'll be Batman while I do them and that instantly makes everything better. Or is even that hope, that idea an illusion when one is traveling through the fabric of quantum foam reality, five and a fifth dimensions removed from the reality that reality used to occupy? Hopelessness, thy name is known and called out.
Nice going, Brady!
@PropertyOfALady, this may be an elite club unknown to 99% of the forum, but did you know there's one product out there with the ability to connect and unite 100% of the human population?
That's right, it's QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash!
A rich and moisturizing foam with the ability to build any bridge and bring all 100% of the testosterone-fueled population together in the name of fine grooming. The success stories of QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash are endless, and are proof positive that our executive board of hygienics have developed a sure-fire product for the masses that totally won't give you cancer later in life and that won't kill small children if they swallow some of it.
The positive impact of QuantumFoam is all around us, in the faces we pass as we go on our own life journeys. Every QuantumFoam consumer can instantly be spotted by their unusually rich and glorious hair, so much better than the hair of the plebs who use Dove or Olay products, but their fine grooming and alluring appearances don't tell the whole story of what QuantumFoam has done for them and their lives. No matter the background of our consumers, or their age, QuantumFoam connects them all by providing them with renewed purpose and confidence:
A boy named Dylan was ignored by every girl in his school when he asked them to prom, because he wasn't that good looking, wasn't popular and didn't stand out (in the right way). Dejected, he went home and locked himself in his room, so beside himself with the anxiety of teenage life and the changes happening in his body (but mostly about the pretty girls that wanted nothing to do with him). In his bathroom he stood there, looking in the mirror, questioning his worth and how he could ever be cool like all the other kids who had dates (but mostly the football players)...until he spotted a bottle of hair product on his father's side of the shower, tucked away from view and nearly hidden entirely except for the angelic shine that was emanating from it, as if it can from heaven itself. Picking it up, the boy became a man as he read the label: it was QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash.
That next morning Dylan showered before school as he always did, but instead of using the horrible and poor man's QuantumFoam, Dove shampoo and body wash, he used his father's own foam based cleanser and went off to school with hair already growing on his chest as he caught his bus and approached the school doors. Like he was a new kid (but more specifically like the captain of the football team), Dylan was overcome by a crowd of screaming girls running from every hall of the school as he entered the main lobby and headed to his locker. The girls couldn't be held back as they all fought to be the boy's date, risking tardiness in their morning classes to sneak love letters in Dylan's locker and a date with detention, or worse, the principal, for aggressively tearing at the boy in their wild attraction for him. Needless to say, by QuantumFoam's magic touch and aroma, Dylan went on to be the unanimous king of his prom, despite not even being in the running at all. Such is the power of QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash!
Another QuantumFoam consumer was Frank, a mid-30s lower class worker with thinning hair and little expendable income to spend on expensive hair replacement solutions. He said a prayer to God, asking him to deliver something to help his life improve, but after a week went by he felt hopeless and forlorn, isolated from the holy spirit. But when Frank came upon QuantumFoam shampoo and body wash in his local store one day, at the always reasonable price of $3.99 a bottle (prices will vary outside of the United States) he knew God had been listening after reading the advertising and its own vow to make a new man out of anyone. Excited, Frank tried the shampoo and body wash that next morning during a shower, and his life was changed forever. Miraculously, by the time he clocked off his shift at 3 o'clock later that day, his hair had returned to the length it was when he was in college with twice the shine, and his gut was disappearing at a pound per minute. The lower class worker then found himself being noticed by everyone at his job, such that he was instantly promoted after just one month of daily QuantumFoam use, taking the management position over his old boss who very ignorantly (and unwisely) used Dove shampoo in his hair. It wasn't long before lower class Frank was upper class Frank, CEO of his company and a gazillionaire only by the grace of God and QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash (but mostly QuantumFoam).
Just wait until you hear our next success story, releasing over the holiday season in a major advertising campaign, as QuantumFoam's main office in New York prepares to launch a new and even more effective formula for octogenarian consumers (we haven't forgotten about our elders!) You will learn of the story of Larry Fitzsimmons, an ex-World War II fighter pilot who lost both legs in a devastating dog fight with an ace German flyer who sent him careening into the ground in his machine of war after sustaining heavy fire to his wings. The soldier survived with his life, but not with his dignity. For all his life afterward, Larry was legless and seen as a disgrace to America for his failure in the face of the Nazi threat, no better than a traitor to the nation...until his son-in-law gifted him QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash, a product his nurses at the retirement home scrubbed him right up with. Before they knew it, by some magic Larry's legs were no longer stubs, but large and strong limbs, mighty as an Olympians, and with them he raced out the door with glee.
Down at the local bar, the people who always gave Larry dirty looks (they were patriots and disliked that he failed to fight in the face of Nazism) instantly embraced him and ripped off an American flag from the wall to make Larry a cape, christening him "Captain America." You can imagine Larry's surprise when, that next day, the president of the United States himself contacted the renewed war hero and honored the elder with fifteen purple hearts for his decades of service in killing basically all Nazis everywhere and for his amazing flying skills as an ace pilot (but mostly for being a Nazi killer). It was later revealed to the world the real story of World War II history, that it was Larry who single-handedly stopped the Holocaust from claiming more victims, that it was he who formulated the Nuremberg trials to give justice to the Jews, and that it was he who killed Hitler, but made it look like a suicide to embarrass the German paper tiger. All these great revelations were made possible, of true war history brought from the dark to the light, and the story of a man turned from a disgrace to a national hero, via the power of QuantumFoam.
An amazing product, perfect for any time and for any man.
QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash: The #1 recommended male hygiene brand by those who have people everywhere.
@PropertyOfALady, NO, QuantumFoam wants you.
The CEO of QuantumFoam was nice enough to e-mail me this morning and asked me to pass on the news that a bunch of QuantumFoam shampoos, conditioners, body washers and deodorants are going on sale for a short end of summer sale, for just a few more days. No better time to change your life and look the best you ever have than now, as we head into fall and winter; get started on those New Year's resolutions and make QuantumFoam a daily part of your grooming regimen today! Here is a special deal for their best-selling citrus scented shampoo and body wash, with an exclusive deal for Amazon shoppers that prices it at just $3.77 per 28 oz. bottle!
Yes, he works for SPECTRE now.
Yes, I can confirm that the man in the video is by no means connected to QuantumFoam, and is only tied to SPECTRE. I must also state for legal reasons that QuantumFoam is also not in any way affiliated with SPECTRE in any way, shape or form, and definitely didn't profit from a percentage of that organization's criminal acts when Ernst Stavro Blofeld/Franz Oberhauser was running it. There is also a false rumor out there that a group called Quantum were a sub-group of SPECTRE doing their own illegal acts, but this is largely unsubstantiated, and the organization, like its parent criminal enterprise, carries no connection to the QuantumFoam company or its CEOs. It's simply a coincidence that the name of the organization is in the company and brand name of QuantumFoam, and should be treated as such.
And the man pictured in QuantumFoam's past before and after ad, is also not at all connected to SPECTRE from any standpoint:
The man was simply a model the company found on Craigslist looking for work and they liked his profile and sympathized with the desire he had to renew himself as he faced a deteriorating hair line, bad back and heart murmur, hopeless in the face of his fate. When QuantumFoam sent him the product, thinking it would aid him, he quickly tried it, falling in love with the shampoo and the brand once he saw how it brought back his old vigor and sense of life while also renewing his spine and making his heart beat steadier than ever. The gentleman then became excited in his gratefulness and expressed interest in being one of the international faces of the brand. Beyond pleased, QuantumFoam were happy to oblige him and paid him handsomely for his work, but no more than they do for any other models in their main ads.
The man's criminal history with SPECTRE is completely fabricated and unproven, a story created by the stupid lawyers from Dove and Olay who made it up to defame the company once they saw how much QuantumFoam was outselling them and cornering the male grooming market. The man's "alias" of "Mr. White" and his forged connection to Quantum and SPECTRE is the work of master fraud artists and not at all grounded in the reality of who he was. The QuantumFoam brand have tried to reach his only surviving next of kin, his daughter Madeleine, to get a statement to prove Dove and Olay's legal team wrong, but she has since fallen off the grid and we do not know of her whereabouts. It is QuantumFoam's belief, shared by all its CEOs and investors, that this Madeleine woman has been sent into hiding, paid off or threatened and has been literally or figuratively gagged by either Dove or Olay's joint team of lawyers so that the QuantumFoam legal team can not use her as a character witness in their defense of "Mr. White's" innocence.
QuantumFoam would like to report to all its consumers that it views this petty and frankly bogus setback at the hands of Dove and Olay as offensive and beyond the realms of cruel and unusual persecution. Heading into Q4 of 2017 the QuantumFoam brand shows no sign of stopping and company profits are exceeding every expectation, with every major seller of the product reporting career-high orders from every major continent the world over. This data is all to say that this legal business surrounding QuantumFoam's obvious innocence in connection with the SPECTRE and Quantum organization hasn't stopped its success as was planned by the opposing Dove and Olay companies. That being laid to rest, QuantumFoam's CEOs and workers at their top rated factories worldwide are very upset about this slander and simply want to get back to doing their work like the honest workforce they are.
QuantumFoam would like to address the Dove and Olay CEOs and legal team directly to finish, advising them to cull their advances in court lest the QuantumFoam legal team become motivated to release real and completely undoctored photographs taken inside the shampoo factories that Dove and Olay own and run in areas like China, South Sudan and Bangladesh, where you can clearly see child labor going on that breaks the code of law for manufacturing and infringes on basic human rights for children. QuantumFoam issue this warning as a professional courtesy that their competitors seem to lack an ounce of, giving them a chance to withdraw their own request for criminal charges before QuantumFoam's legal team are motivated to suggest their own for Dove and Olay, claims that are backed up by actual evidence and exhibits in the dozens that will easily win them the case with any judge or jury the world over.
How QuantumFoam got these sensitive and revelatory pictures of Dove and Olay's factories must remain a secret, but it is little mystery to those who are in the know. Just as QuantumFoam brand shampoo and body wash is the #1 recommended male grooming product by those who have people everywhere, the company's CEOs have photographers everywhere too who are always waiting for just the right moment to catch criminals in the act. Dove and Olay, you have been warned and your scandalous child labor crimes are now brought from the dark into the light. Think on your sins.
Then he discovered Quantumfoam, and see where he is now.
https://qz.com/575952/a-hairdresser-explains-why-donald-trumps-hair-looks-like-that/
It could easily be redone with Trump's hair.