The Bottom Three

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  • Posts: 3,333
    GE
    TWINE


    And for the nadir of narcissistic awfulness...
    DAD
  • Posts: 1,052
    20: difficult, TB, YOLT or DAF on any given day.


    21: DAD, haven't watched it for ages but the memory remains disapointing, may have to watch again.

    22: QOS, watched it recently and still thought it was poo!
  • Posts: 4,762
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    20. The Man With The Golden Gun
    It has grown on me over the years, a very easy film to watch, but it just feels a little flat and small scale for Bond. Some amazing locations, a brilliant villain and the always beautiful Maud, is let down by a messy plot, cheesy sound effects, the return of JW Pepper and the less said about Mary Goodnight the better!

    21. Diamonds Are Forever
    Perhaps the biggest missed opportunity in the franchise to do a classic revenge story. There are redeeming features in the theme, score, Vegas, gangsters and the Willard Whyte twist, but it isn't enough to help an ageing and lazy Connery, a muddled script, cheap jokes and some bad casting choices.

    22. Die Another Day
    Well, we have hit rock bottom. I think this will always be one of those oddities in the franchise where people look back and go "what were they thinking in 2002?". Poor Rosamond Pike, if only she had held out for the Daniel Craig era, she is the only glimmering hope for this film. But perhaps we needed DAD to shake the producers up a bit, to really get them motivated to bring in a new direction and a new Bond.

    Snap! Same three, but in a diffrent order;

    22. Diamonds Are Forever

    Diamonds succeeds as an entertaining comic strip Bond adventure, but a Bond film should aim to be much more than that. Also commits the sin of introducing the "comedy sheriff" to the Bond world.

    Still Connery is good fun as is Jill St John who really deserved a better role.

    21. The Man With The Golden Gun

    You know if it wasn’t for Sheriff bloody Pepper this film would be so much better. I liked the plot, for once not feeling that the Solex side plot is an unnecessary distraction, whilst for most part the screenplay is intriguing and quite clever (think Bond and Scaramanga's game of cat and mouse and the scenes with Hai Fat at his home).

    Andrea Anders is a stand out character, truly tragic. She also allows Moore to show a nasty side to his persona, which is coupled with a good fight scene in Saida's dressing room. Indeed Moore is good value here, building upon his performance from LALD. His scenes with the legendary Chris Lee are well, simply put, erm, legendary. True Bondian classics.

    A pity the rest of the film rarely reaches those heights; the humour gets very silly at times while Hip and Goodnight are damned inept. Furthermore locking the latter in a closet while Bond gets groiny is unforgivable. A bit “low rent” but the locations make up for that.


    20. Die Another Day

    How best to approach this film? It really is a film of two halves.

    Part 1

    Everything prior to London is superb, at the very least on a par with the rest of the Brosnan tenure. The direction is assured and brusque, the action explosive, inventive and tinged with a little dirt and realism. The cinematography and score complement each other superbly; i.e. the bleak greys of Korea and Arnold's (relatively) minimalist score, and the bright colours of Cuba with more upbeat music.

    The Bond/M scenes crackle with tension, Raoul is a beautiful little ally and Brosnan looks brilliant and commands the screen, even pulling of some dodgy one liners with a panache that even Sir Rog would envy. Halle Berry looks stunning and at this stage sets herself up as a nicely ambiguous character.

    Moreover the overall premise is very fresh; having Bond on the run trying to redeem himself is interesting and well executed.



    Part 2

    Ironically as soon as Bond returns home it all goes tits up.

    Arnold seems to be channelling Austin Powers for his music, Berry turns into ham, Stephens is a grotesque parody of Bond villainy, the screenplay turns into a joke, the narrative becomes bloated, the gadgets become inane and too fantastical, the plot is copyrighted circa 1971, the casts two best performers (Brosnan and Pike) drown in a sea of crap one liners, and to top it all off, we get PS1 standard CGI, and all Bond fans everywhere die a little inside. Seriously for the effect where the ice dragster goes over the cliff, the filmmakers would have been better of using a carrot on a piece of string.

    Rant over

    6.5/10



  • @royale65 That's how I feel about DAD. If the whole film had been as brilliant as first half then it would be one of my favourites in the series. I do like some bits in the 2nd half though, like the Q scene.
  • Posts: 4,762
    @royale65 That's how I feel about DAD. If the whole film had been as brilliant as first half then it would be one of my favourites in the series. I do like some bits in the 2nd half though, like the Q scene.

    I've always thought DAD lost its power after Bond arrives in Iceland. Everything up until that point is quite classy and sleek, but after this, starting with the party at the Ice Palace, it loses what it built up.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    Posts: 28,694
    00Beast wrote:
    @Baltimore_007: You know, I've never been one for Ursula Andress. I mean I'm sure she was a fine woman, but as far as acting goes, I didn't think she performed very well as Honey Ryder. Her lines come off as very Barbie Doll-ish and wooden, almost forced if you will. She's a looker, that's for sure, but her character wasn't up to speed with some of the other great Bond girls to follow.
    I don't believe that was Ursula though. She was dubbed, no?
  • RC7RC7
    Posts: 10,512
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.

    This is what I thought when you put OHMSS and GF in your bottom two.
  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    @royale65 That's how I feel about DAD. If the whole film had been as brilliant as first half then it would be one of my favourites in the series. I do like some bits in the 2nd half though, like the Q scene.

    Yes, the Q scene is quite sentimenta. Also the scene with M.

  • Posts: 4,762
    RC7 wrote:
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.

    This is what I thought when you put OHMSS and GF in your bottom two.

    The only difference there is there are obvious flaws with OHMSS and GF which are not present in classics like GE and TWINE!
  • RC7RC7
    Posts: 10,512
    00Beast wrote:
    RC7 wrote:
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.

    This is what I thought when you put OHMSS and GF in your bottom two.

    The only difference there is there are obvious flaws with OHMSS and GF which are not present in classics like GE and TWINE!

    You are a wonderfully professional proponent in the art of sarcasm.
  • Posts: 3,333
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.
    There's a lot of things I don't like about GE, but I won't get into too much of a bashing thing as there's quite a lot of people here that rate it highly. However, as you asked I'll start with Brosnan's entrance. Brosnan's grand introduction where we get to see his face and not a shadowy bungee-jumping figure is Bond hanging over some dude taking a dump. Always hated that intro to Bond as it lacked the class of Connery or Lazenby's entrance.

    The death-defying opening stunt where Bond not only catches up with the plane already in freefall, but he also manages to take control and fly it; this is what I would expect of Bugs Bunny, not James Bond. I like the song and titles though. Then there's Bond's stupid shtick with the evaluator and the 'trying to show off the size of his… ego' nonsense, plus the dreadful music. Alan Cumming plays the 'invincible' and equally annoying Boris Grishenko, followed by: "You sit on it but you can't take it with you?" I mean how *beep* easy is that and how come Natayla can't solve it straight away?! Obviously, it's a chair. What the hell else could it be?! Much of the dialogue is terrible- "Sorry, forgot to knock," "boys with toys". I also didn't care for Joe Don Baker's return as Jack Wade and his "Jimbo" remarks. I thought they made Izabella Scorupco look too drab, when in fact she looks gorgeous with her longer blond hair. I liked the idea of Xenia Onatopp but not the Carry On name and the way she was used. That stupid death expression on the Admiral when they find him in the cupboard wasn't something I like to see in a Bond film. It sounds like I'm nit-picking but there's a lot of things that I find exasperating in this movie that when added up amount to this being relegated into my bottom 3. I much prefer the lighter Moore movies over this entry in fact.

    The next problem is Sean Bean's character's motivation. He changes his reason for doing what he's doing two or three times: his family was sent back to Russia to be executed by Stalin (which must make Mr Bean at least 65 to start with); he hates Britain; he also hates Bond; he's doing it for the money! Yea Gods! Can't he just make up his mind? Also, is there any logical reason why he would climb down after Bond in the last scene, instead of just shooting him from the top or have his chopper shoot him down?

    I also recall the BMW Z 3 was equipped inside with Stinger Missiles behind the headlights but these were never used in the final cut. That really annoyed me when I first saw this movie at a Preview Screening. Okay, that doesn't add or distract from the plot much but I did feel cheated and still do everytime I see that car.

    It's not the worst Bond by a long shot, that honour goes to DAD, but it certainly isn't as good as the early entries. For me Brosnan has always sounded too American and he looks like he would be unable to pick a fight with a 12-year-old school boy.

    However, I have to admit that Diamonds Are Forever is a guilty pleasure of mine and always find it enjoyable to watch. I could never put that movie in the basement with the likes of GE, TWINE or DAD.
  • bondsum wrote:
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Respect to the opinion of course, but GoldenEye in the bottom three? What about it do you not like? I can't find any problems with it. Granted, it is my #1 favorite, but nevertheless, it's so classy! I might be able to understand The World is not Enough, though that is a stretch too.
    There's a lot of things I don't like about GE, but I won't get into too much of a bashing thing as there's quite a lot of people here that rate it highly. However, as you asked I'll start with Brosnan's entrance. Brosnan's grand introduction where we get to see his face and not a shadowy bungee-jumping figure is Bond hanging over some dude taking a dump. Always hated that intro to Bond as it lacked the class of Connery or Lazenby's entrance.

    The death-defying opening stunt where Bond not only catches up with the plane already in freefall, but he also manages to take control and fly it; this is what I would expect of Bugs Bunny, not James Bond. I like the song and titles though. Then there's Bond's stupid shtick with the evaluator and the 'trying to show off the size of his… ego' nonsense, plus the dreadful music. Alan Cumming plays the 'invincible' and equally annoying Boris Grishenko, followed by: "You sit on it but you can't take it with you?" I mean how *beep* easy is that and how come Natayla can't solve it straight away?! Obviously, it's a chair. What the hell else could it be?! Much of the dialogue is terrible- "Sorry, forgot to knock," "boys with toys". I also didn't care for Joe Don Baker's return as Jack Wade and his "Jimbo" remarks. I thought they made Izabella Scorupco look too drab, when in fact she looks gorgeous with her longer blond hair. I liked the idea of Xenia Onatopp but not the Carry On name and the way she was used. That stupid death expression on the Admiral when they find him in the cupboard wasn't something I like to see in a Bond film. It sounds like I'm nit-picking but there's a lot of things that I find exasperating in this movie that when added up amount to this being relegated into my bottom 3. I much prefer the lighter Moore movies over this entry in fact.

    The next problem is Sean Bean's character's motivation. He changes his reason for doing what he's doing two or three times: his family was sent back to Russia to be executed by Stalin (which must make Mr Bean at least 65 to start with); he hates Britain; he also hates Bond; he's doing it for the money! Yea Gods! Can't he just make up his mind? Also, is there any logical reason why he would climb down after Bond in the last scene, instead of just shooting him from the top or have his chopper shoot him down?

    I also recall the BMW Z 3 was equipped inside with Stinger Missiles behind the headlights but these were never used in the final cut. That really annoyed me when I first saw this movie at a Preview Screening. Okay, that doesn't add or distract from the plot much but I did feel cheated and still do everytime I see that car.

    It's not the worst Bond by a long shot, that honour goes to DAD, but it certainly isn't as good as the early entries. For me Brosnan has always sounded too American and he looks like he would be unable to pick a fight with a 12-year-old school boy.

    However, I have to admit that Diamonds Are Forever is a guilty pleasure of mine and always find it enjoyable to watch. I could never put that movie in the basement with the likes of GE, TWINE or DAD.

    Though I don't rate GoldenEye as low as you do, I nonetheless agree with most of your criticisms. They are some of the main reasons why it has never been (and will never be) the great Bond entry in my eyes that many others seem to consider it.
  • Posts: 4,762
    @bondsum: Your arguments are well thought and do hold some credability, I will admit. I suppose I overlook those things because I truly do enjoy GE a whole lot! By the way, I agree about DAF, it is a guilty pleasure, and I actually, as of now, rank it above TWINE.
  • bondsum wrote:
    [Also, is there any logical reason why he would climb down after Bond in the last scene, instead of just shooting him from the top or have his chopper shoot him down?

    It's the classic Bond villian is an idiot thing, where he keeps Bond alive for longer for no reason at all, or tries to kill him in some needlessy complicated way (in GE it's trying to kick him down the ladder), when he could just shoot him and get it over with. It's been in the films so often I just ignore it when it happens now.
  • Posts: 13
    #1 crappiest DAD: (CGI parachute surfing, the immature double entendre dialog, the overstylized scene transitions, Halle Berry doing the stupid hanging from the ceiling Tom Cruise Mission Impossible tribute and the Invisible Aston Martin. Most embarassing to watch)
    #2 crappier AVTAK: (Ripping off an old Abbot and Costello movie for the fire engine sequence, the busted in half Renault car chase, Q's radio controlled cat, beach Boys music, the Iceberg boat and Grace Jones. More embarassment)
    #3 crappy Octopussy: (The Tarzan yell, borrowing a sword from the sword swallower, commanding the tiger to sit, Bond in an ape costume, Bond in a clown outfit and Q in a hot air balloon. What are these writer's thinking)
    Also there seems to be a noticeable trend that every actors last Bond film ends up being his most embarassing.
  • Posts: 5,634
    I don't expect that to be the case with Craig

    Good above listing, and can have no dispute with the two top choices, but thought a bit harsh on the third, but very valid points made for frustrations and loathing
  • Octupussy is great...
  • edited August 2012 Posts: 1,492
    bondsum wrote:
    Much of the dialogue is terrible- "Sorry, forgot to knock," "boys with toys"..

    Oh absolutely. Its "It says here" dialogue ie not naturalistic just rattled off the script page. Once you start to notice it, it runs through the whole film.

    I was sitting openmouthed at some of the stuff they have to recite.

  • Posts: 469
    Diamonds are forever at 3
    Quantum of solace at 2
    and number 1 is......... moonraker
  • Posts: 84
    i'm convinced there's a age/generation gap in the choices.... OHMSS has many "classically" bond elements, remaining true to the Fleming book many ways. I dont get the anti DAF feeling either; a lot of the elements of that movie are some of the best known I feel by any non-bond fan i.e the car stunt, moon buggy, slumber inc. and so on......the 1970's wer full of drag artists such as Dick Emery, Danny LaRue etc, hasn't anyone ever seen a pantomime dame lol! I feel where people see the older films at times "boring" ,you've got to forgive them the time at which they were filmed and what was expected by audiences then, and what was possible cinematically.

    For me, bottom three would be.....any of the Brosnan films. It may be considered a harsh opinion, but for me his (un)acting, the way they produced the films after GE i.e. went alll hollywood in the casting and CGI etc, and the utter bottom of the barrel "humour" in them, really took Bond to a place I simply ignore as part of the Bond franchise. Thank god for Mr Craig....!
  • CraigMooreOHMSSCraigMooreOHMSS Dublin, Ireland
    Posts: 8,205
    00Beast wrote:
    @bondsum: Your arguments are well thought and do hold some credability, I will admit. I suppose I overlook those things because I truly do enjoy GE a whole lot! By the way, I agree about DAF, it is a guilty pleasure, and I actually, as of now, rank it above TWINE.

    Above TWINE? I'm curious. You rank a guilty pleasure above something you've openly stated a number of times to be rather good? What numbers do these entries now occupy on your list?
  • Posts: 3,333
    actonsteve wrote:
    bondsum wrote:
    Much of the dialogue is terrible- "Sorry, forgot to knock," "boys with toys"..
    Oh absolutely. Its "It says here" dialogue ie not naturalistic just rattled off the script page. Once you start to notice it, it runs through the whole film.

    I was sitting openmouthed at some of the stuff they have to recite.

    I concur, actonsteve. You only have to listen to Sean Bean's torturous lines as to get an idea of how not to write realistic dialogue. The stuff between Dench and Brosnan are the only well written scenes in the whole movie, and even they can sound a bit stilted at times.

    Now compare the brilliant and witty DAF lines to GE, it's positively Shakespearean...

    "That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve."

    James Bond: [playing craps] I'll take the full odds on the ten, two hundred on the hard way, the limit on all the numbers, two hundred and fifty on the eleven. Thank you very much.
    Plenty O'Toole: Say, you played this game before.
    James Bond: Just once.
  • DrunkIrishPoetDrunkIrishPoet The Amber Coast
    Posts: 156
    Agree with WizardOfIce but in a different order:
    21. DAD
    22. TMWYGG
    23. DAF
  • 21. Octopussy (I can't believe this hasn't made many lists)
    22. DAD
    23. DAF
  • QBranchQBranch Always have an escape plan. Mine is watching James Bond films.
    Posts: 14,556
    TMWTGG
    Way to ruin a great car stunt. I need to learn film editing techniques to replace the whistle with the sound of an engine. Or maybe cars actually make that sound when you spiral them over a bridge? :-? Also, the martial arts scenes are less than spectacular. Chris Lee, the main plot, and the fight scene in Saida's room are awesome, however.

    AVTAK
    It has its moments- like when Bond beds May Day... The fire engine scene, and the donut cops don't faze me. I do like the main plot, and legends Chris Walken and Patrick Macnee are enough to keep me watching.

    DAF
    Charles Gray was great in YOLT, but his Blofeld is a clown. In fact, the whole film is daggy. I'll watch DAD over this any day.

    I don't dislike any Bond film, but those bottom three are the ones I look forward to least when it's Bondathon time.
  • AliAli
    edited January 2013 Posts: 319
    The Man With The Golden Gun: it just doesn't work. Cheesy beyond belief for the most part. To get Christopher Lee on board as the villain and then waste him like this is criminal.
    Diamonds Are Forever: Connory at his smug worst and it's very obvious he was back for the pay cheque, not for the love of it)
    Dr. No: sorry, it's just incredibly boring and it has Connory in it. Still my least liked Bond, regardless of being first. He's a smug git on screen for the most part.
  • Posts: 107
    20. DAD
    21. TND
    22. TWINE
    23. GOLDENEYE

    The Brosnan era was painful.
  • 0BradyM0Bondfanatic70BradyM0Bondfanatic7 Quantum Floral Arrangements: "We Have Petals Everywhere"
    edited January 2013 Posts: 28,694
    Chang wrote:
    20. DAD
    21. TND
    22. TWINE
    23. GOLDENEYE

    The Brosnan era was painful.

    DAD beats GE for you? How, If you don't mind me asking?
  • edited January 2013 Posts: 107
    DAD at least had a bounce to it. Pace was a quicker and the movie knew it was campy. Goldeneye is dreadfully boring. The computer guy Boris from GE is equally as dumb as Gustav Graves yet Goldeneye took itself more seriously. I can't get into any of those four films, but DAD had the most visuals (ice hotel is cooler than the tank chase) so I go with that one at 20.
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