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Bondathon - March - Diamonds Are Forever!
JamesPage
Administrator, Moderator, Director
To celebrate the spate of upcoming Bond film anniversaries and the pave the way to Bond 23, we thought it was high-time the forum pulled together for an official review of the whole series...
A film will be presented each month for viewing, discussion and review; running in conjunction with the main site, overall ratings and a selection of the best reviews will be published at the end of the month on Mi6.co.uk!
Please note: "All submissions for publication on Mi6.co.uk need to be posted in this thread by Thursday 24th March 2011, 0900 (GMT) in order to be considered for inclusion. If you wish to be referred to by another name, other than your forums username, you should include a 'review by XX' in your initial post. All reviews submitted in this thread indicate the author gives permission for Mi6.co.uk to publish any and all of the contents of his/her post at the editor's discretion."
Review format:
Main review - word count minimum 250, maximum 500 words.
Core Elements:
Bond: /10
Babes: /10
Villains: /10
Humour: /10
Sadism: /10
Snobbery: /10
Action: /10
Locations: /10
Gadgets: /10
Music: /10
Tilt: /10 - 'Tilt' - pinball term - is a generic quality which can be scored at the user's descretion to skew the net of all the previous scores based on their gut feeling or personal preference/dislike of that movie... in other words more-than-the-sum-of-the-parts scoring
Overall: /10
Best Bits:
Most 'Bondian' moment
Funniest scene
Best line
Best location
Best action sequence
Best Bond girl
Best overall performance
This month, James Bond returns in...
<b>We proudly present Diamonds Are Forever (1971)...</b>
The true story of Diamonds Are Forever did not start when the (now famous) gun barrel introduction splashed across the screen in 1971. No, the real beginning to this odyssey began back in 1969 just before the world wide release of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, when a long haired and bearded George Lazenby appeared on a late night talk show to promote the film - but instead shocked the world when he announced that he was quitting the role of James Bond, only after one outing.
So it seemed that for the second time in under five years, the franchise was again put into jeopardy - who would the producers find to fill the void now created by Lazenby? - who originally signed on to play the debonair super spy, for another six more films (seven in total). Such names being bantered about as possible successors, were the likes of John Gavin, Michael Gambon and even Adam West - who was famed by his role as Batman on the hit television series at the time. But United Artists were dead set on luring back Sean Connery, no matter the cost. And for (at the time) a record sum of $2.9 million (over $20 million after inflation), Connery agreed to don the tuxedo, one last time.... for now.
Guy Hamilton was once again brought in to direct, and the original plan for the film was to make it a “sequel” of sorts to his previous Bond film Goldfinger, where Auric Goldfinger’s twin would be seeking revenge for the death of his brother at the hands of 007. But this plot was later scrapped, when producer Albert Broccoli had a dream that his close friend Howard Hughes was replaced by an impostor - hence, the character Willard Whyte came to be. Screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz was then brought on to rework the script, to fit the new plot device and story. Original drafts of the script had Bond leading a charge of casino owners across Lake Mead, in pursuit of Blofeld. Other drafts had frogmen attacking the oil rig, and placing mines on it’s support legs, and Bond and Blofeld engaging in a climactic fight in a salt mine, where 007 would eventually triumph, by dropping his nemesis into a grinder - but these plans got tossed out - a lot due to the cost it would take to pull off such stunts and sequences. So what originally planned to be a colossal action extravaganza, ended up being significantly scaled back - but if you don’t think about it, you never have guessed it was supposed to be bigger than it was.. because as is, Diamonds Are Forever took the James Bond adventure to a whole new level.
Right off the bat, Connery seemingly erases any sort of hang over from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, by eliminating Blofeld in the opener. The story then picks up with the main plot of diamond smuggling being fed to us - thankfully though the diamond mining “operates under an air tight security system”... well, it doesn’t - and it’s Bond mission to find out who is stockpiling these stolen diamonds, and why. This leads him to Amsterdam under the assumed identity of Peter Franks, where he meets the sexy, and feisty Tiffany Case, who is in possession of the last shipment of stolen diamonds. But hot on their heels is the assassin duo of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd - who share a relationship beyond just a working one. The story then shifts from sleepy Holland, to the bright lights and glitz of Las Vegas, where Bond learns that a shady character named Willard Whyte, who hasn’t set foot out of the penthouse suite in his own casino, might be the mastermind behind this whole caper. When Double-O-Seven decides to pay Mr. Whyte a courtesy visit - it turns out it isn’t really Willard Whyte, but Blofeld - OH SNAP!.. But Blofeld was killed in the beginning of the movie, how can he be back??.. turns out Bond only killed a look-a-like. The real Blofeld has spent the past years in Vegas plotting his next dastardly scheme. Which, in a nutshell, involves building a satellite to be launched into space, that once activated, uses the light refracting power of all those stolen diamonds, to concentrate the power of the sun into a laser beam, powerful enough to cause mass destruction on earth (a later Bond film would once again recycle this plot device, although without the same charm). A final fight on a secret base, disguised as an oil rig off the coast of Baja California, sees Bond defeating Blofeld and saving the day. But during a romantic cruise to the end the film, Bond’s fun with Tiffany is interrupted by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, who for some reason really want to see Bond dead. But James makes quick work of them, and sends one off “with his tail between his legs”.
John Barry once again delivers an outstanding score. His themes are iconic, but in my opinion, his work on this film is right up there with that of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Typically, you can listen to any of the signature ballads he orchestrates, and you’d be able to know exactly which film it’s from - and his work on Diamonds Are Forever is the perfect example of that. Sometimes you just can’t help but to whistle the simple notes that became the theme to whenever Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd were on screen in the film.
But how could we go this long without mentioning the title theme, sung by the Dame herself, Shirley Bassey. She took the world by storm with “Goldfinger”, “Diamonds Are Forever” is arguably her best Bond theme. It’s sultry, it’s sexy, it’s provocative - it’s a title theme that delivers the goods, as only the Dame herself can do.
Diamonds Are Forever isn’t one of the elite Bond films in my opinion, but it’s one that is surely not awful, and worth repeated viewings. It’s over the top camp and humor has a certain charm that is hard to hate. Some have even considered it a movie that would have been better suited for Roger Moore’s lighthearted take on James Bond, but Connery does a serviceable job, for someone who had to be dragged back into the role. Diamonds Are Forever was that sort of perfect balance of silly humor and action, that became the staple of the future Bond films to come, and in a way, it became almost the perfect way to usher us into a new decade, and a new era of Bond films.
- Intro by hASEROT
A film will be presented each month for viewing, discussion and review; running in conjunction with the main site, overall ratings and a selection of the best reviews will be published at the end of the month on Mi6.co.uk!
Please note: "All submissions for publication on Mi6.co.uk need to be posted in this thread by Thursday 24th March 2011, 0900 (GMT) in order to be considered for inclusion. If you wish to be referred to by another name, other than your forums username, you should include a 'review by XX' in your initial post. All reviews submitted in this thread indicate the author gives permission for Mi6.co.uk to publish any and all of the contents of his/her post at the editor's discretion."
Review format:
Main review - word count minimum 250, maximum 500 words.
Core Elements:
Bond: /10
Babes: /10
Villains: /10
Humour: /10
Sadism: /10
Snobbery: /10
Action: /10
Locations: /10
Gadgets: /10
Music: /10
Tilt: /10 - 'Tilt' - pinball term - is a generic quality which can be scored at the user's descretion to skew the net of all the previous scores based on their gut feeling or personal preference/dislike of that movie... in other words more-than-the-sum-of-the-parts scoring
Overall: /10
Best Bits:
Most 'Bondian' moment
Funniest scene
Best line
Best location
Best action sequence
Best Bond girl
Best overall performance
This month, James Bond returns in...
<b>We proudly present Diamonds Are Forever (1971)...</b>
The true story of Diamonds Are Forever did not start when the (now famous) gun barrel introduction splashed across the screen in 1971. No, the real beginning to this odyssey began back in 1969 just before the world wide release of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, when a long haired and bearded George Lazenby appeared on a late night talk show to promote the film - but instead shocked the world when he announced that he was quitting the role of James Bond, only after one outing.
So it seemed that for the second time in under five years, the franchise was again put into jeopardy - who would the producers find to fill the void now created by Lazenby? - who originally signed on to play the debonair super spy, for another six more films (seven in total). Such names being bantered about as possible successors, were the likes of John Gavin, Michael Gambon and even Adam West - who was famed by his role as Batman on the hit television series at the time. But United Artists were dead set on luring back Sean Connery, no matter the cost. And for (at the time) a record sum of $2.9 million (over $20 million after inflation), Connery agreed to don the tuxedo, one last time.... for now.
Guy Hamilton was once again brought in to direct, and the original plan for the film was to make it a “sequel” of sorts to his previous Bond film Goldfinger, where Auric Goldfinger’s twin would be seeking revenge for the death of his brother at the hands of 007. But this plot was later scrapped, when producer Albert Broccoli had a dream that his close friend Howard Hughes was replaced by an impostor - hence, the character Willard Whyte came to be. Screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz was then brought on to rework the script, to fit the new plot device and story. Original drafts of the script had Bond leading a charge of casino owners across Lake Mead, in pursuit of Blofeld. Other drafts had frogmen attacking the oil rig, and placing mines on it’s support legs, and Bond and Blofeld engaging in a climactic fight in a salt mine, where 007 would eventually triumph, by dropping his nemesis into a grinder - but these plans got tossed out - a lot due to the cost it would take to pull off such stunts and sequences. So what originally planned to be a colossal action extravaganza, ended up being significantly scaled back - but if you don’t think about it, you never have guessed it was supposed to be bigger than it was.. because as is, Diamonds Are Forever took the James Bond adventure to a whole new level.
Right off the bat, Connery seemingly erases any sort of hang over from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, by eliminating Blofeld in the opener. The story then picks up with the main plot of diamond smuggling being fed to us - thankfully though the diamond mining “operates under an air tight security system”... well, it doesn’t - and it’s Bond mission to find out who is stockpiling these stolen diamonds, and why. This leads him to Amsterdam under the assumed identity of Peter Franks, where he meets the sexy, and feisty Tiffany Case, who is in possession of the last shipment of stolen diamonds. But hot on their heels is the assassin duo of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd - who share a relationship beyond just a working one. The story then shifts from sleepy Holland, to the bright lights and glitz of Las Vegas, where Bond learns that a shady character named Willard Whyte, who hasn’t set foot out of the penthouse suite in his own casino, might be the mastermind behind this whole caper. When Double-O-Seven decides to pay Mr. Whyte a courtesy visit - it turns out it isn’t really Willard Whyte, but Blofeld - OH SNAP!.. But Blofeld was killed in the beginning of the movie, how can he be back??.. turns out Bond only killed a look-a-like. The real Blofeld has spent the past years in Vegas plotting his next dastardly scheme. Which, in a nutshell, involves building a satellite to be launched into space, that once activated, uses the light refracting power of all those stolen diamonds, to concentrate the power of the sun into a laser beam, powerful enough to cause mass destruction on earth (a later Bond film would once again recycle this plot device, although without the same charm). A final fight on a secret base, disguised as an oil rig off the coast of Baja California, sees Bond defeating Blofeld and saving the day. But during a romantic cruise to the end the film, Bond’s fun with Tiffany is interrupted by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, who for some reason really want to see Bond dead. But James makes quick work of them, and sends one off “with his tail between his legs”.
John Barry once again delivers an outstanding score. His themes are iconic, but in my opinion, his work on this film is right up there with that of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Typically, you can listen to any of the signature ballads he orchestrates, and you’d be able to know exactly which film it’s from - and his work on Diamonds Are Forever is the perfect example of that. Sometimes you just can’t help but to whistle the simple notes that became the theme to whenever Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd were on screen in the film.
But how could we go this long without mentioning the title theme, sung by the Dame herself, Shirley Bassey. She took the world by storm with “Goldfinger”, “Diamonds Are Forever” is arguably her best Bond theme. It’s sultry, it’s sexy, it’s provocative - it’s a title theme that delivers the goods, as only the Dame herself can do.
Diamonds Are Forever isn’t one of the elite Bond films in my opinion, but it’s one that is surely not awful, and worth repeated viewings. It’s over the top camp and humor has a certain charm that is hard to hate. Some have even considered it a movie that would have been better suited for Roger Moore’s lighthearted take on James Bond, but Connery does a serviceable job, for someone who had to be dragged back into the role. Diamonds Are Forever was that sort of perfect balance of silly humor and action, that became the staple of the future Bond films to come, and in a way, it became almost the perfect way to usher us into a new decade, and a new era of Bond films.
- Intro by hASEROT
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Comments
March 18th 2011
Core elements:
Bond - 6/10
Babes - 5/10
Villains - 5/10
Humour - 7/10
Sadism - 7/10
Snobbery - 5/10
Action - 7/10
Locations - 6/10
Gadgets - 6/10
Music - 7/10
Overall - 5/10 - One of the weakest films in the series though Connery seems to be having more fun than he did in most of his previous Bonds. Could it have been the sway of $1.25 million for signing to star in the film?
Most Bondian Moment: Stepping out from underground with a smile
Funniest Scene: Bond convincing Tiffany that he's just killed James Bond
Best Location: Las Vegas
Best Action Sequence: Bond fights Peter Franks in the lift
Best Bond Girl: Plenty O'Toole
Best Overall Performance: Bernard Lee (M)
Best line(s): "I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up!"
"There's something I'd like you to get off your chest"
"Welcome to hell Blofeld!"
"May I remind you 007 that Blofeld's dead, finished. The least we can expect from you now is a little plain, solid work."
"Refreshing to hear there's one subject you're not an expert on"
"The scorpion - one of nature's finest killers Mr Wint." "One is never too old to learn from a master, Mr Kidd"
"Curious, how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die"
"Anyone seeing you in that outfit Moneypenny would certainly be discouraged from leaving the country"
"I tend to notice little things like that, whether a girl is a blond or a brunette" "And which do you prefer?" "Oh, providing the collars and cuffs match..."
"That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing, I approve"
"Is he dead?" "I sincerely hope so"
"Heartwarming Mr Wint" "A glowing tribute Mr Kidd"
"There's no sense in looking for trouble. Just enjoy yourself James, I'm sure you know how"
"Hi I'm Plenty" "But of course you are" "Plenty O'Toole" "Named after your father perhaps?"
"Exceptionally fine shot" "I didn't know there was a pool down there"
"Peter I'm very impressed, there's a lot more to you than I had expected"
"If you see a mad professor in a minibus, smile"
"Relax darling, I'm on top of the situation"
"After all, I wouldn't know which one of you to kill"
"Double jeopardy Mr Bond"
"Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat and I seem to have lost my way!"
"You bitch! Your problems are all behind you now"
"What a pity, such nice cheeks too. If only they were brains"
"Although for such a grand meal I had rather expected a claret"
"I've smelt that aftershave before, and both times I've smelt a rat!"
"Well he certainly left with his tails between his legs"
Review
"You've just killed James Bond!" "Is that who it was? Well it just proves no-one's indestructible!"
There was a great fear from many a Bond fan as to which direction the 7th Bond adventure would take after the emotional climax of On Her Majesty's Secret Service. With Bond bidding farewell to Tracy over the closing credits the mission is now to find Blofeld and kill him. This was the motivation and thus could have made Diamonds a brilliant first rate revenge thriller a la Licence To Kill or Quantum Of Solace. The result can only be described as second rate nonsense.
There are promising moments in Diamonds. John Barry presents one of his liveliest and entertaining Bond scores. Shirley Bassey also returns to belt out the title song in her own inimitable fashion, and of course there's Plenty O'Toole! The negatives speak for themselves. Jill St. John is one of the least satisfying Bond girls in the series whose every line is either filled with innuendo or just alarmingly stupid - "blow up your pants!" - need I say more? The villains of the piece include the series' first and only gay couple to date - Mr Wint and Mr Kidd, two of Blofeld's henchmen, played entirely for laughs (although strangely they place Bond in some of his most dangerous predicaments - the burning coffin springs to mind as one of the most creative deaths for 007 - though that scene would eventually become a gag, like so many others in the film - and of course there's Charles Gray as an inferior Blofeld. The scene where is sitting in the back of the car in drag talking to Tiffany plunges the film to even lower depths than it had already reached.
Screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz clearly wrote Diamonds' dialogue for Roger Moore. It is far too tongue in cheek for Connery's harder edged Bond and Connery doesn't sound right saying half of the dialogue he is served in his swansong as Bond. The pacing is all over the place, the climactic battle scene is once again played for laughs, and it leaves you feeling ultimately cold and disappointed after the climax of OHMSS offered so much promise. If only Lazenby had said yes to one more film. For a while it did seem that Broccoli and co had 'just killed James Bond'.
Bond knows his sherries every bit as much as he knows his wines. He enjoys the excesses of life in Las Vegas, staying in the most opulant but tacky suites, happy to pull any young gold digging strumpet and whiling the hours away in the casinos. Not exactly the classy Bond we know and love, but we forgive him such minor discrepencies.
marks off for Connery's weight gain and strange hair peice.
8/10
Babes -
Tiffany, a wise cracking redhead/blonde/brunette who only starts to irritate about 5 minutes after she appears. Plenty O Toole who would have irritated had she lasted longer than 5 minutes. Bambi and Thumper, the utterly useless bodyguards.
4/10
Villains -
Blofeld, now an upper class English eccentric with a panchant for cross dressing.He was in hind sight probably the right actor for this kind of film, extravagant, and slightly camp!
Wint and Kidd the hitmen..yes ok I give them the benefit of the doubt. They wear dodgy after shave and despite coming up with clever ideas to dispose of their victims seem to run out of ideas when it comes to Bond. I mean the coffin was a good one, butdropping Bond in an underground pipe?
7/10
Humour -
Some of the series best one liners. Utterly quotable on all levels. Also the looks Wint and Kidd give one another are priceless.
9.5/10
Sadism -
Wint and kidd again, sadistic superstars.
8/10
Snobbery -
Bond, Blofeld, Wint, Kidd. All snobs
8/10
Action -
Hasn't worn well. Some half hearted chases (although the car chase has its moments), the lift fight is poor when compared to some of Bonds great enclosed fist fights. And the climax is uninspiring and lifeless. Reminds me of all the action in TWINE
4/10
Locations -
Las Vegas, Amsterdam, South Africa etc. Widespread enough to earn..
7/10
Gadgets -
Qs fingerprint kit, and Bond's wire gun which doesnt look stable enough to support Bond's bulk, but he jumps all the same! Oh and Q has a natty gadget for cocking up slot machines. Nice
6/10
Music -
John Barry yes?
8/10
Overall - 7/10
Most 'Bondian' moment . Well I liked the coffin sequence
Funniest scene. So many contenders, but unintentially I laughed most when Bond tells Whyte about the oil rig and Whyte barks back at Bond 'Draw it'. Bond then skuttles off to get paper and pen and does exactly as he is told. Like a naughty school boy.
Best line Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body but where?
James Bond: Alimentary, Dr Leiter
Best location: Amsterdam
Best action sequence: Maybe the car chase
Best Bond girl : Pass
Best overall performance Connery
Bond: 5/10
Babes: 5/10
Villains: 4/10
Humour: 8/10
Sadism:8 /10
Snobbery: 9/10
Action: 9/10
Locations: 10/10
Gadgets: 4/10
Music: 10/10
Overall: 6/10
Best Bits:
Most 'Bondian' moment: "Mountaineering outside the Whyte House"
Funniest scene: "Collars and Cuffs Match?"
Best line: "I'm afraid you've caught with me more than hands up"
Best location: Willard Whyte's summer home, aka Elrod House Palm Springs, CA (I've been here and its beautiful)
Best action sequence: Car Chase in Vegas
Best Bond girl: Blofeld in Drag?, seriously though Tiffany Case in a bikini
Best overall performance Glover and Putter as Wint and Kidd
Bond: 6/10 - It's Bond, but not as we've seem him before.... Connery comes across as having too much fun (something to do with the paycheck perhaps?) had has lost Bond's harder edge from his earlier films. Plus, the whole weight & wig issue- Bond looks like he needs a month in Shublands...
Babes: 5/10 - Tiffany- annoying, and too much of a stereotype. Plenty- annoying, and too much of a stereotype. Blofeld- Mmmm.... strangly interesting.
Villains: 4/10 - Blofeld ruined. Wint and Kidd- amusing, but poor Hitmen.
Humour: 8/10 - Great one liners
Sadism:8 /10 - Wint & Kidd- enough said...
Snobbery: 9/10 - it's everywhere... plush apartments, lectures on sherry, fish tank beds, Vegas Royalty, Billionaire penthouses, and again... Wint & Kidd
Action: 4/10 - For me the action feels very tired.... the end battle is dull, the car chase average, the elevator fight- insulting (Bond- a trained killer who has spared with Grant, Oddjob and many others, struggles to take down a petty British smuggler... behave.)
Locations: 7/10 - acceptable- but the blandness of daytime Vegas brings it down a bit for me.....
Gadgets: 4/10 - all a bit dull. The most amazing one has to be the Piton Gun- just how does that line support Connery's Blubber Bond?
Music: 8.5/10 - It's Barry... nuff said.
Overall: 6/10- One of Bond's two cinematic low points (DAD obviously the other..). All too chessy and camp. It's salvation lies in the Bondian moments and the one liners. The PTS makes you think your in for a darker ride, following on from OHMSS- sadly not. And most annoying (for me...) after all those years of chasing Blofeld and the whole revenge thing- why does Bond not check on him after bashing him around in the sub? Assumes he's dead perhaps? And no mention at all of his fate....
Best Bits:
Most 'Bondian' moment: Coffin escape
Funniest scene: The Rat
Best line: "Exceptionally fine shot" "I didn't know there was a pool down there"
Best location: Vegas (stunning by night, drab and tacky by day)
Best action sequence: Car Chase in Vegas
Best Bond girl: I'll go with Tiffany, when she's not talking....
Best overall performance: Connery (when he's good, he's good...)