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The Illness Thread
BondStu
Moonraker 6
Hey! Anyone sick right now? I am!
Been diagnosed with a glandular infection. My glands are swollen along with my lymph nodes, tonsils and uvula! AND I had to go back to the Doctor because of side effects from the anti biotics! Fun times!
So. If anyone is sick - this is the thread for you! If you're not currently sick, feel free to share stories of times when you were!
Or if you're extremely paranoid about getting sick, then pull up a chair and join us!
I'm so ill... 8-X
Been diagnosed with a glandular infection. My glands are swollen along with my lymph nodes, tonsils and uvula! AND I had to go back to the Doctor because of side effects from the anti biotics! Fun times!
So. If anyone is sick - this is the thread for you! If you're not currently sick, feel free to share stories of times when you were!
Or if you're extremely paranoid about getting sick, then pull up a chair and join us!
I'm so ill... 8-X
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Comments
1) You get to stay at home.
2) People are afraid of you, meaning less people bothering you.
3) Your loved ones treat you like a king. "Can I get you something?" "Here, a pillow." "No no, don't get up; I'll grab you that beer." "So which movie do YOU want to watch?" "Honey, let's see if everything ELSE is still working."
4) Pills! Don't we love them? I'm still seeing these funny things like in FROM BEYOND from last time. Hey, what's @barryt007 doing in my room?
5) Books, you finally get to read them.
6) More of that "let's see if everything else is still working", you know, just to be sure.
7) You get to sleep when-ever you like. This time it's without that "HEY! Take out the trash! You wanna sleep, get tired first!" Now it's rather, "Aaah, poor man. Ssjjt, kids, let daddy sleep. I need him awake later tonight when we check whatever else is still working while you are asleep."
I mean, it's so good being ill, isn't it? :)
Because of the movie, or...?
So instead of ‘Tomorrow Never Dies ‘we had ‘POAL Did Lie....in his puke ‘🤮
No, sir. The stomach flu.
Sometimes that's the better option. Were you taking antibiotics?
Yes mate. Caused horrendous stomach cramps. I was literally doubled up in agony.
Yet here I am. Sneezing my brains out, coughing, tears running from eyes like rivers of blood after a gunshot. Headaches of astronomical proportions. And a throat that feels like germs are now in the barbwire-trading business. My voice sounds like it's had to survive three Metallica concerts in a row; when I called my headteacher, I must have passed for a comedian trying his best Freddy Krueger routine.
I'm ploughing through my stash of paper tissues like a raving madman, seeking solace in the chemical miracle called aspirin, counting on gallons of caffeine to uphold some semblance of a normal, functional life; all the while, I'm blasting promising sprays full of sulphuric acid and epinephrine up my nose in a feeble attempt to contain the explosion of nasal mucus.
Yet, no solution exists, none but to patiently await the moment when the germs decide they've had enough of feasting on the natural resources I'm currently giving away for free. The mind reels at the realisation that a creature so small has the power to cause all of this suffering. Thank you, H.G. Wells.
Also--us, men, we are notoriously bad at sucking it all up. My girlfriend goes into Rambo mode when she's ill. Me, on the other hand, I'm floored, exhausted, lamenting as if my final hours are nigh; scoffing, like a drunk author facing total writer's block, at the suggestion of herbal teas; telling my loved ones to prepare for the worst. In two or three days, it'll all be over, I know. But not yet. And until my body is restored to maximum health I am a zombie, a living nightmare, a parody of human life.
A cold, ladies and gentlemen, a cold.
Epinephrine: I remember this from the movie Crank. Should be good stuff.
My youngest sister suffers from that, so I know how it can disable you. Hope you recover soon.
@Thunderfinger Thank you very much. I'm sorry about your sister; it's definitely no joke.
Don't even know what that is mate!
I mix Honey, Lemon, Cayenne Pepper, Garlic, Ginger, Mixed herbs in boiling water cooled slightly, it tastes like crap though the next day even the worst flu I have had has cleared up.