Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • edited January 2015 Posts: 238
    andmcit wrote: »
    Right you are. I adore OHMSS but hey, what the Hell:

    30. When throwing daggers about the place Bond gets all superstitious
    31. Piz Gloria is a totally awesome lair for ESB
    32. Lipstick is the best way to arrange a date with men wearing kilts
    33. For buggering about on a cablecar, they should've watched Guns of Navarone or Where Eagles Dare first to get some cool ideas?
    34. Watching sunrises can get ESB all poetic
    35. Ornate metal interior decor grilles can be quite deadly whilst being bitchslapped
    36. We now know how Christmas trees are grown
    37. That choir of schoolchildren must've been snowed in at the resort for absolute ages
    38. Bond really made little effort buying 'the ring' - "I'll have that big one in the window"
    39. Aston Martin DBS horns sound really cool

    OHMSS

    40 (I think)

    The Angels of Death go to bed early. That, or people in Switzerland stay up late to go Ice Skating
  • Posts: 5,990
    45) You would have thought Q would have thought of anti-parasiting his bugs.

    46) Orlov can't distinguish between a real Fabergé Egg and a fake.

    47) Madame Vastra sure took some lessons from Magda. (see "Deep Breath"). Or was it the other way around ? Timey Wimey, and all that.
  • Gerard wrote: »
    45) You would have thought Q would have thought of anti-parasiting his bugs.

    46) Orlov can't distinguish between a real Fabergé Egg and a fake.

    47) Madame Vastra sure took some lessons from Magda. (see "Deep Breath"). Or was it the other way around ? Timey Wimey, and all that.

    48) Boom operators like to hang about in the trunks of cars as they carry MI6 around Berlin
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    49 James Bond is The Flash. Dressing up as a clown or a gorilla takes half a second.
  • Posts: 1,146
    49 James Bond is The Flash. Dressing up as a clown or a gorilla takes half a second.

    No kidding. Two of the worst moments of the series in a movie that's chock full of them.

    50) You will believe Bond can fly a plane through a hangar.

  • andmcit wrote: »
    Right you are. I adore OHMSS but hey, what the Hell:

    30. When throwing daggers about the place Bond gets all superstitious
    31. Piz Gloria is a totally awesome lair for ESB
    32. Lipstick is the best way to arrange a date with men wearing kilts
    33. For buggering about on a cablecar, they should've watched Guns of Navarone or Where Eagles Dare first to get some cool ideas?
    34. Watching sunrises can get ESB all poetic
    35. Ornate metal interior decor grilles can be quite deadly whilst being bitchslapped
    36. We now know how Christmas trees are grown
    37. That choir of schoolchildren must've been snowed in at the resort for absolute ages
    38. Bond really made little effort buying 'the ring' - "I'll have that big one in the window"
    39. Aston Martin DBS horns sound really cool

    OHMSS

    40 (I think)

    The Angels of Death go to bed early. That, or people in Switzerland stay up late to go Ice Skating

    Sorry - back to OHMSS for a second

    41. We learn that James Bond doesn't need a best man at his wedding, not even Felix.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 238
    Goldfinger

    44. Wearing an ear piece whilst playing cards is not remotely suspicious.
    45. A 12 x 3 x 1 inch bar of gold can be discretely concealed in Bonds golf pants.
    46. The CIA/US Army will go to incredible lengths to keep up a charade, including crashing cars into each other.
    47. A small American pick up car is perfectly capable of carrying an entire crushed down car with absolute ease.
  • 49 James Bond is The Flash. Dressing up as a clown or a gorilla takes half a second.

    No kidding. Two of the worst moments of the series in a movie that's chock full of them.

    50) You will believe Bond can fly a plane through a hangar.

    Well I figured it was only a matter of time before @doubleohdad rained on this parade again. If you're going to bash Moore again on this thread at the very least could you try to be witty and make it part of the list rather than simply stating how much you think this film is an abomination to the franchise?
  • chrisisallchrisisall Brosnan Defender Of The Realm
    Posts: 17,789
    51. A horse's arse can come in handy.
  • Posts: 1,146
    49 James Bond is The Flash. Dressing up as a clown or a gorilla takes half a second.

    No kidding. Two of the worst moments of the series in a movie that's chock full of them.

    50) You will believe Bond can fly a plane through a hangar.

    Well I figured it was only a matter of time before @doubleohdad rained on this parade again. If you're going to bash Moore again on this thread at the very least could you try to be witty and make it part of the list rather than simply stating how much you think this film is an abomination to the franchise?

    Number 50 makes that point, does it not?

  • 49 James Bond is The Flash. Dressing up as a clown or a gorilla takes half a second.

    No kidding. Two of the worst moments of the series in a movie that's chock full of them.

    50) You will believe Bond can fly a plane through a hangar.

    Well I figured it was only a matter of time before @doubleohdad rained on this parade again. If you're going to bash Moore again on this thread at the very least could you try to be witty and make it part of the list rather than simply stating how much you think this film is an abomination to the franchise?

    Number 50 makes that point, does it not?

    Had you simply posted #50 I'd agree with you. But you still felt the need to reiterate your opinion on the gorilla/clown suit scenes beforehand. We get it. You hated Octopussy. You've made that abundantly clear already.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,146
    I was commenting upon Thunderfinger's point above.

    And I don't hate all of OP, just the bad parts, all 350 of them :)

    52) You will believe a regular person can run faster than the 3-wheeled cars in that chase sequence.

    53) A bad guy in a Bond movie will then become a bad guy in Beverly Hills Cop.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,247
    54) Apparently it's quite normal for those on the 'economy tour' to walk out of the jungle into the water.
    55) Khamal Khan has an odd sense of beeing 'a good sport'.
    56) Wild tigers understand English rather well
    57) When running from persuers in the jungle, whenever you use a liana, you'll hear a tarzanesque scream, wheter you make it yourself or not.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    58 What is wrong with a little pussy?
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,778
    Sorry for the delay gentlemen. I've been busy for the last few days.
    Bond fans who know me know I don't really consider NSNA a real Bond film as much as I do a basterdization of the series I love. But I figured it definitely deserves to be made fun of so what the hell.
    James Bond's All Time Low in
    Things We've Learned from…..Never Say Never Again

    1) Kevin McClory sucks…

    2) …he really really sucks

    3) Clearly none of the film's budget went to Sean Connery's toupee.

    4) I used to think Lulu's The Man with the Golden Gun was the worst Bond title song. That was until I heard the opening credits to this.

    5) A group of ruthless mercenaries will be easily distracted and give chase to a frisbee.

    6) MI6 wargame simulations are dangerously life-like.

    7) SPECTRE meeting rooms went from being stylish and futuristic looking deathtraps to a lecture seminar at a country club.

    8) Some poor demented fool thought it would be a good idea to have Bond defeat the late great Pat Roach by throwing his own urine at him.

    9) By this film's logic the exact events of Thunderball occurred in the exact same way twice.

    10) A young Rowin Akinson was painfully unfunny.

    11) Clearly Bond's advancing age had no effect on his libido whatsoever.

    12) Some poor demented fool thought it was a good idea to put James Bond in overalls.

    13) Felix Leiter's mastery of disguises reached an entirely new level.

    14) Maybe the musical scores for Goldeneye and Dr.No were't so bad afterall.

    15) There's nothing creepy about disguising yourself as a health-club masseuse to shamelessly grope a girl young enough to be your daughter.

    16) After said groping has occurred Domino's actual massage therapist will cheerfully say hello to said stranger wearing a club uniform whom she has never seen before and causally inform Domino that the man who was just rubbing her ass doesn't work there.

    17) Domino's reaction to the sex offender in question will be that of a nodding of the head and a light-hearted smile.

    18) Largo's men can't tell the difference between a bomb and a cigarette case.

    19) Apparently videogames became the sophisticated pastime of the rich jet set crowd during the 80s.

    20) Bond and Largo settling their difference over a video game is every bit as stupid as it sounds.

    21) There is no better time to reveal to a woman that her brother was murdered by her boyfriend then during the middle of a tango number.

    22) Q-Branch sends motorcycles to their operatives wrapped in styrofoam.

    23) Bond had time to run down to the garage, unpack his motorcycle, put on gloves, put on his helmet, start up his bike and drive out to the street all before Fatima Blush was able to make it down one block in her car.

    24) Two of the three obnoxiously colored and obnoxiously huge buttons on Bond's gadget bike will only serve as to give extra bumping support. Talk about a letdown.

    25) Some poor demented fool thought it would be a good idea to put James Bond in matching short shorts and a tank top.

    26) Largo likes to pack as much spit into his kisses as possible.

    27) Upon falling off of a cliff into the ocean with Domino and his horse Bond's shirt, jacket, and shoes will mysteriously vanish.

    28) Underwater action scenes were no more thrilling in 1983 than they were in 1965.

    29) Largo likes to setup shop in suggestive looking caves.

    30) With Blofeld and SPECTRE still very much at large and surely planning their next world-threatening scheme Bond will decide that now is the time to retire to a life of hot-tubes, colorful drinks, and daily sex with a 29 year old Kim Basinger.

    31) I'd rather have watched Octopussy again.

    32) Some poor demented fool thought it was a good idea to make this movie,,,ahem,,,Kevin McClory.

  • 33. I am sure I have seen this film before?
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,129
    34. Sean Connery will play a Roger Moore style Bond if the money is right.
    35. Using lines from British sitcoms writers is ok.
  • Posts: 613
    34.video games in this time were crap even if they gave you a bit of a shock.
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,129
    35. Sean Connery was the strongest man alive. At least with the power of his legs.
    36. The pen really is mightier than the sword (Can't believe they didn't use a similar line in the film as well. It was there for the taking.)
  • Posts: 613
    37.a horse will jump to its death without hesitation.
  • 38. Algy loves plenty of gratuitous sex and violence
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,129
    39. Continuity doesn't exist. Or this is some deja vu.
  • 40. Bomber has no more luck fighting Bond than he did with Indie.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    41. Q's name will suddenly become Algernon, he will shrink, and he will gain 20 pounds.
    42. Edward Fox wasn't as bad an M as the other guy was a Q.
  • Posts: 11,119
    01) It is better than DAD
    02) It is better than DAF
    03) It is better than MR
    04) It is better than AVTAK
  • BennyBenny Shaken not stirredAdministrator, Moderator
    Posts: 15,129
    43. Roger Moore would trump a Sean Connery Bond film in everyway.
    44. US submarines had Russian translations for top secret items even if it was The Cold War.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 5,990
    45) Thank goodness we're not in the Middle Ages : the doctor who would have tasted that urine would have needed a new tongue.

    46) There was that girl in Philadelphia...

    47) "I saw Bond on a bicycle !"

    48) Now that's a big yacht. Is Largo compensating for something ?

    49) Michel Legrand's music stinks to high heaven !

    50) But Herb Alpert hasn't lost his touch since CR '67.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    51 Never say never.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    52) ...But if they ask you to do this movie, keep on saying it over and over again.
  • Posts: 9,843
    52. M can be younger then 007
    53. Money penny is now a librarian
    54. Free radicals are dangerous
    55. A new M will never listen to experienced agents
    56. Bond will age drastically in a few months time
    57. Bond is an amazing dancer
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