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Comments
( being crushed by bridge counter weights )
Hahha I always think the same thing whenever I hear it.
82. English people pronounce "Saint John Smythe" as "Sinjin Smiiith".
That's #85. @Sark posted #82 after you already did.
The change was too quick and too jarring. Even looking at Tanya Roberts' performance (and I use the term lightly) and you'll see she's basically playing an entirely different character at the party scene. Complete with lovey dovey eyes for Zorin which made no sense after Stacy explains why she was at the party in the first place. It's almost as if half way thru the film they decided to change Stacy's character.
71) Fishing rods work wonders to stop secret agents following you on the eiffel tower
Never Say Never Again:
96: The Bee Gees are better at making a Bond-song than Lani Hall.
AVTAK:
89) Renaults have very poor chassis and roof pillars.
92) If you're investigating someone who's supposed to be a mastermind criminal, and his henchwoman/horse stands near the gate, and you get out to open said gate, it opens automatically and the henchhulk is gone, you think nothing of it and go on to the carwash.
Dr.No
11) Bond places his television in the single most impractical and difficult to view location in his bedroom.
12) Bond is such a phenomenal hand-to-hand combatant that he is capable of rearing back with his right hand but landing the punch with his left.
13) Apparently there's a difference between "mixed" and "stirred".
14) Broken glass is less painful to Quarrel than an average mosquito bite.
15) Dr.No was able to find a special species of tarantula that's bite is actually deadly to humans.
16) Sending a tarantula that may or may not even attack its intended target is a much more effective way to murder a spy in his sleep than sending a man with a gun.
17) Luckily Bond sleeps with a sheet of glass over himself for just such an occasion.
18) Bond is really good at memorizing directions.
19) Honey Ryder's hair can dry really really fast.
20) A small hill of sand will provide ample protection from high-powered machine gun fire.
21) Dr.No's henchmen use a special Spectre brand megaphone that amplifies their voice even when they aren't speaking into it.
22) Quarrel has no problem with "fetching" Bond's shoes.
23) Honey Ryder will collect shells on an island owned by a man who she believes killed her father and who's men have attempted to abduct her on multiple occasions.
24) Encyclopedia > 12 years of formal schooling
25) Dr.No has a pretty limited imagination when it comes to preparing water-based deathtraps.
Seriously, because at the time Dick Tracy was only known to comic bluffs in my country, the dub changed him to Inspector Gadget. I actually find the policeman's line funnier this way =))
That's #94.
I've got a few more for From Russia With Love.
24) Chess matches with giant boards and a creepy-looking player are still boring.
25) Spectre has a merchandising department that not only makes rings but paper coasters aswell. Both items are available at the gift shop on Spectre island.
26) If being the head of the world's largest criminal organization doesn't work out for Blofeld he's got a bright future in narrating shows on Animal Planet.
27) Spectre General Gogol had absolutely no game in his younger days.
28) Spectre Island, a top secret base for criminal masterminds, employs massage therapists for their operatives.
29) Bond must've really annoyed Q alot between 1963 and 1964.
30) Bond simply searching his room warrants the Bond theme on full blast.
31) Bombs in Istanbul set off purple lighting.
32) Bond doesn't believe in saving bath water.
33) Red Grant can shake off the effects of a face full of tear gas within a matter of seconds.
34) There's nothing more romantic than taking a nice relaxing boat ride in front of a green screen.
BTW here are the scores for each film.
Film Score
1) NSNA - 96
2) AVTAK - 94
3)/4) TSWLM/TMWTGG - 77
5)OP - 58
6)MR - 56
7)GF - 54
8)/9) FYEO/TB - 53
10) LALD - 51
11) YOLT - 50
12) DAF - 46
13) OHMSS - 43
14) FRWL- 34
15) DN - 25
For example in DN, Miss Taro's house is so easy to find that it doesn't matter if someone gives you the wrong address.
Many thanks @Ed83. I'm not sure that too many posters care about the film's scores but in a way it kind of tells us which Bond films are easiest to make fun of.
I was always under the impression that Taro gave Bond her correct address assuming he'd never live to make it there. How else would Bond have found the place?
I hate ties as much as the next man. Anyone feel free to break them and I'll update the scores. Just make sure it hasn't already been repeated.
I'll post my lessons for TLD when I get back from work.
It is later made clear that the "taxi" was actually the police chief coming to arrest her. He's a knowledgeable chap if he managed to find the house in the first place!
What they didn't show in the film was his knocking on the door of no 239 and getting sent off to 2171..
Thunderball
54) Patricia Fearing has remarkable immunity to Bond's tardemark "kiss her until she liked it" technique. Therefore more drastic methods were necessary.
55) When his back is against the wall Bond will remember his experiences from past adventures, such as women making the best shields.
56) Bond will emerge from the sea, after making love to Domino, inexplicably with dry hair and a dry shirt already on.
57) Upon facing the prospect of informing Domino of her dear brother's murder, Bond will do the gentlemanly thing and have sex with her first before breaking her heart.
The Man with the Golden Gun
78) Romantic gestures like a man surprising his wife/girlfriend with champagne is apparently very amusing to Bangkok hotel workers.
Our new rankings.
Film Score
1) NSNA - 96
2) AVTAK - 94
3)TMWTGG - 78
4) TSWLM - 77
5)OP - 58
6)TB - 57
7)MR - 56
8)GF - 54
9) FYEO - 53
10) LALD - 51
11) YOLT - 50
12) DAF - 46
13) OHMSS - 43
14) FRWL- 34
15) DN - 25
Living on the edge. It's the only way he lives in
Things We've Learned From…..The Living Daylights
1) A fortunate rupture in the space-time continuum caused Bond to reverse age 15 years. However said frequently occurring miracle inexplicably caused Bond to become broodier and more ruthless.
2) M choosing to put his desk in front a plane's back opening probably wasn't the best idea.
3) Bond apparently hangs out with 00 Agents who look conspicuously like actors George Lazenby and Roger Moore.
4) Bond can deliver a headbutt with such ferocity that the blow doesn't even need to make contact. The sheer force of Bond's momentum alone is enough to do damage.
5) Evidently a truck flying off of a cliff and exploding seconds after a man parachutes out of the back doesn't qualify as excitement for that bikini babe.
6) If you're frustrated with the lack of real men in your life simply ask and ye shall receive.
7) When Bond is in a hurry he'll rush thru his customary introduction...
8) …unless sex is involved. Then he'll postpone work for an extra hour.
9) Apparently A-Ha were such insufferable bastards back in the day that they could drive off a 25 year 11 film veteran. Thanks alot A-Ha.
10) Saunders will utilize night-vision goggles on a well lit street.
11) When testing out a risky new pipeline transporter it's best to use a top KGB mastermind defector as your first guinea pig.
12) Moneypenny is a Barry Manalow enthusiast.
13) Q took the term "ghetto blaster" a bit too seriously.
14) Bond doesn't approve of M's lousy taste in champagne.
15) MI6 hires some badass butlers.
16) It doesn't speak well for Timothy Dalton's physicality when a nameless butler has the best fight scene of the film.
17) Max the parrot was evidently adopted by MI6.
18) Bond has to walk around for the rest of the film desperately hoping that no women or gay guys throw a wolf whistle his way.
19) It might be helpful to M if Moneypenny actually does some secretarial work at some point during this film.
20) A highly trained KGB operative will take several minutes to notice that a cello case with a hat and coat draped over it is not a woman.
21) By Kara's logic anyone can put rockets, lasers, a targeting screen on the windshield, mounted skis, a rocket booster, and a self-destruct button in your car as "optional extras". She just figured Bond's auto body shop is the batcave.
22) Gaining entry into Vienna is as simple as quickly waving two passports and assuring them that you have no luggage.
23) Bond brazenly laughs at the dreams and ambitions of young musicians.
24) Bond thinks there's nothing strange with wearing a full tuxedo to a carnival.
25) Thanks to Bond everyone else on the ferris wheel will have to wait while he takes his sweet time playing tonsil hockey with a woman he's been lying to since he met her.
26) Kara will anxiously and excitedly await to be reunited with Koskov despite the fact that she's cheated on him with a man she believes to be his close friend.
27) The KGB were clearly going thru some budget cuts as evidenced by the fact that the head of the department is assigned one short out of shape bodyguard who Bond is able to dispose of in a matter of seconds to have his back.
28) Apparently in Tangiers it's common for beautiful American women to drive up to you and invite you to a party in the middle of the day.
29) Felix Leiter finally returned from 14 years of hiding complete with shaggy hair, a member's only jacket, and absolutely no discernible level of personalty or charisma.
30) For every year between 1973 and 1987 instead of getting one year older Felix got one year younger.
31) Jailers in russian afghani airbases are hired based on their stomach sizes.
32) Hookah makes absolutely everything funny.
33) Kara grew very worried for Bond during the 2 minutes they were separated.
34) Russian soldiers find nothing unusual about a 6'2 white guy hanging around with the afghan resistance.
35) Bond's look of fed-up frustration with Kara outside of the airplane perfectly mirrored that of the audiences feelings towards the charter.
36) Islanabad and Karachi will shrink in distance from 2000 km apart to 525 km apart so Bond and Kara can "just make dinner".
37) Bond will deliberately fire all 8 of his rounds at what's clearly the most protected section of his target.
38) Men with turbans, bandoliers, and live ammunition had trouble getting thru airports even in lax airlines of the 1980s.
39) Apparently Kara Milovy became famous and went on tour in the time it took Bond to get to Whitaker's house.
40) John Barry was an invaluable resource to the Bond universe whose contributions can't be overstated. The series wouldn't have been the same without him and will never be the same now that he's gone.
Mr. Barry, I salute you.