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Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    I think it had to be the very first thing to mention (thus the 00.)

    Criticizing the film, not you, don't worry.
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    Posts: 159
    Agent007391 wrote: »
    Kostas_P wrote: »
    I think it had to be the very first thing to mention (thus the 00.)


    Criticizing the film, not you, don't worry.

    Not at all, i got it. And still an opportunity to bash this extremely bad (not only for Bond standards) movie.
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,846
    129. Bond likes the view
    130. If you say the right code phrase a British sleeper agent in Cuba will gladly give you a gun binocular and a car no questions asked
    131. So bond had no reason to go into the closet where they were filming him?
    132. Chinese agents really aren't interested in giving Bond a massage
    133. Bond always knew Chang was Chinese intelligence but never really cared
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    134. Spies for the British in Cuba are extremely loyal to Cuba.
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 5,993
    135. Bond loves to read books written by his namesake.
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    136. The worst, least convincing throw of an ashtray can break a mirror revealing the perverts on the other side
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,846
    DoubleOhhSeven wrote: »
    bondjames wrote: »
    106. That David Arnold and Purvis & Wade should all consider themselves lucky to have kept their jobs after this tosh

    107. That a reboot was inevitable and urgently necessary

    (correcting numbering)

    My hero. Thankyou good sir :)

    Birdleson wrote: »
    109. A Bond film can begin with possibly the best set-up in the franchise (the Title Sequence, into the next ten minutes or so) and turn into the worst entry in the franchise.

    Very true. In alot of ways I consider DAD to be the Jaws The Revenge of the Brosnan films. A forth entry that starts off promisingly enough to make one believe that they're in for the best film since the first (or GE in Brosnan's case) but after about 15 to 20 mins in things quickly begin to go off the rails. And by the time we get to the second act everything has gone to hell.
    Risico007 wrote: »
    83. Lee Tamahori has no idea how to direct a bond film
    84. People will continue to read the paper in spite of it getting slashed in half
    85. Purvis and Wade apparently wrote a great ending similar to the novel Moonraker which was thrown out because Tamhori wanted action
    86. Mechanical suits give jedi powers
    87. A man will kill his own father to prove how evil he is
    88. said father won't see his own murder coming even though it was obvious
    89. Halle Berry was a Jinx to this film
    90. The Villain with all his talk of intelligence still isn't smart enough to just shoot the hero
    91. Why give cutting edge stuff to an abandoned agent? Heck why is cutting edge stuff developed Not in Mi6 but in some underground ralway station?
    92. The New Q is kind of odd
    93. Lame titles like Die Another Day are Lame
    94. and shoehorned into the plot

    Really? Could you elaborate some more. Sounds interesting.


    My hat is off to you all. You've really pulled out the stops with some hilarious entries. And now DAD takes it's rightful place on top after effortlessly shattering NSNA's record. Let's see if we can make it to 150. We're up to #117 by my count.

    117) Altering your DNA will inexplicably cause you to grow several inches in height.

    118) Miranda Frost ending up as an MI6 turncoat was easily the most predictable double-turn in the history of the Bond films, if not all of spy movies.

    119) At some point between 1999 and 2002 Michael Wilson and Barbara Broccoli completely lost their minds. Fortunately they were nursed back to sanity by 2005.

    120) Toby Stevens, Judi Dench, and Rosmand Pike were islands of class in an ocean of stupidity.

    Yeah in Some interview I read that both Die Another Day and Casino Royale the finale's were supposed to be closer to the books they were based on (Moonraker and Casino Royale) But due to Director interference (Die Another Day)/ studio involvement (Casino Royale) the endings were changed to reflect what we got.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,249
    137) ladies of payable pleasure in Cuba don't really care at all if their customers get knocked out in front of their eyes.
    138) CIA doesn't care about rich clients of private clinics, they're there to burn the place down to save orphaned children.
    139) Bond can fly-jump off of hovercrafts and still be on the craft seconds later
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 5,993
    140. Bond and "Bullet Time" mix together like Martini and Coca Cola.

    141. Funnily, the villain's plan is the one thing that makes sense in the movie. It even could work, provided you have a giant killer-ray satellite.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    142. Take the book plot from Moonraker and the film plot from Diamonds Are Forever and the sum of their parts sucks.
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,846
    143. No one ever thinks to remove the diamonds from Zao's face because hell if I know
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    144 And I thought the original Brosnan gunbarrel was daft...
  • Last_Rat_StandingLast_Rat_Standing Long Neck Ice Cold Beer Never Broke My Heart
    Posts: 4,583
    145. Hovercrafts can drive themselves.
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited April 2015 Posts: 23,883
    146. That time is a valuable commodity, and even watching a James Bond movie can cause one to waste it unecessarily
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    edited April 2015 Posts: 1,778
    Edit: I stand corrected. @JCRendle has pointed out that my original 149th point actually is possible. So I'm changing it.

    147) Apparently you can rise to the prestigious rank of Colonel by your late 20s in the North Korean military (I'm not even sure if that's a joke or if it's actually legit).

    148) Before shooting your would-be assassin with a flamethrower, make sure to scream something and allow him time to react.

    149) Chan can recognize Bond from behind despite the fact that he hasn't seen Bond in over 14 months and that Bond is sporting a uni-bomber beard, caveman like hair, and is very uncharacteristically dressed in hospital pajamas.

    150) Miraculously 2002 gave birth to 2 spy films that were actually stupider than the comedy of the same year that was meant to make fun of them (Austin Powers in Goldmember) with XXX and the film we're currently honoring.
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,846
    151 bond can walk from the docks to the hotel looking like a crazy person without a single policeman stopping him
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 5,993
    152. Bond has taken lessons from Derek Flint (who used the "stop your heart trick" a long time before).
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    153. The emperor and the Death Star make cameo appearances and Lucas didn't even blink
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    Posts: 1,778
    154) A small, creepy, bug-eyed, suck-up German henchman is essential for any serious villany.

    155) When falling from the sky in a helicopter, Jinx's facial reaction will be closer to that of someone watching a cockroach crawling towards their leg than someone who is about to lose their life in a fiery explosion.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,249
    156) neither the blades nor the helicopter start spinning in a Bond-movie even though the flying machine is falling from great higt and, well, the blades are specifically designed to do just that, start spinning. All Bond had to do is set the blades in 'free'
    mode.
    157) contrary to popular belief Russian built Antonovs are sturdy as hell. even with engines falling off, it's skin tearing away, it just keeps on going.
  • Last_Rat_StandingLast_Rat_Standing Long Neck Ice Cold Beer Never Broke My Heart
    Posts: 4,583
    158. What was cool when I was 14, is no longer cool 12 years later.
  • Kostas_PKostas_P
    edited April 2015 Posts: 159
    159. What was sh*t when i was 24, is still sh*t 13 years later.
  • Risico007Risico007
    Posts: 9,846
    160. Beyond the ice is still a cool title and should of been used
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    Posts: 1,778
    161) Lee Tamahori was stupid enough to actually believe that Zao would go down in history as one of the classic Bond henchmen along with Jaws and Oddjob.

    I know it'd be pushing it but let's see if we can make it to 200.
  • slyfoxslyfox
    Posts: 940
    161. Hovercrafts can avoid landmines but apparently so can the countless trucks which catch up with Bond at the waterfall.
    162. Sports cars which have fallen thousands of feet through the sky will show no signs of damage or even cracks in the glass upon impact with the ground.
    163. Pierce Brosnan's accent became increasingly more Irish in each of his 4 movies.
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    Posts: 1,778
    The next one will be 165. 161 was posted twice.
  • slyfoxslyfox
    Posts: 940
    Thanks. Posted it at about the same time.

    165) DAD could have been even worse if Tamahori got his way with the Bond codename idea and Connery returning. Absurd!
    http://web.archive.org/web/20030416175225/http:/www.actionadventure.about.com/library/weekly/2002/aa111202a.htm
  • Risico007Risico007
    edited April 2015 Posts: 9,846
    166. a Connery cameo would of been stupid
    167. Bond likes martini's with plenty of ice for some reason
    168. Roger Moore's daughter has a pointless cameo
    169. Bond is glad he asked for the martini shaken
    170. Turbulence will help shake a martini if bond deems it nesscary
  • bondjamesbondjames You were expecting someone else?
    edited April 2015 Posts: 23,883
    171. Purvis & Wade actually thought that Yo Mama jokes were still amusing in 2002
    172. Toby Stephens does a rotten Korean accent
    174. The Fidel Castrata joke was one of Purvis & Wade's better efforts
  • DoubleOhhSevenDoubleOhhSeven
    edited April 2015 Posts: 1,778
    bondjames wrote: »
    171. Purvis & Wade actually thought that Yo Mama jokes were still amusing in 2002
    172. Toby Stephens does a rotten Korean accent
    174. The Fidel Castrata joke was one of Purvis & Wade's better efforts

    You skipped 173 ;)

    174) The filmmakers decided to include "London Calling" in this abomination because apparently urinating on the legacy of just one British icon was not enough.
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