Things We've Learned from…..Spectre

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  • SarkSark Guangdong, PRC
    Posts: 1,138
    Doctor No

    9) tires apparently screech on gravel.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,778
    Now we move onto my very first Bond movie.
    Outer space now belongs to 007 in,
    Things We've Learned from…..Moonraker

    1) A spaceship piggybacking on top of a jet plane can easily blast off of it without carrying pieces of the attached plane with it.

    2) The stewardess who betrayed Bond will simply continue to casually put on her parachute while Bond and the pilot fight to the death.

    3) A simple circus net will adequately protect a 300 plus pound man from a 30,000 foot fall.

    4) It's possible for the 5 minute pre-title sequence to be better than the 2 hour film that proceeds it.

    5) Drax's idea of an appetizing snack for his guests are cucumber sandwiches.

    6) The brilliance of a Bond girl named Goodhead escaped me when I was nine years old. It doesn't now.

    7) Bond can calmly murder one of Drax's men right in front of him and neither man will react further.

    8) Bond must have misplaced his trusty Walther PPK for this mission.

    9) The Don Perignon 69 is the most appropriate selection for a romantic evening with Bond.

    10) While attempting to murder two secret agents in Rio, being gently carried away by a group of partiers will be enough to deter you from your mission and force you to inexplicably join in on the festivities.

    11) Green-screen has come a long way.

    12) Two deadly secret agents smiling and winking at you will be distraction enough to not realize an escape is being attempted only inches away from you.

    13) Apparently a group of gorgeous women hanging out in an abandoned amazon temple is completely commonplace for Bond and will not raise his suspicions.

    14) Drax will start a master race consisting only of beautiful people in space but not think to keep someone alive to pilot the ships and maintain the stations.

    15) Short pig-tailed girls are enough to force a cold-blooded professional killer to do a complete 180 and fight for the salvation of humanity.

    16) Who know attempting re-entry could be so much fun.

    17) When in doubt of your source material, simply use the same script as your last film only set it in outer space instead of underwater.

  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited January 2015 Posts: 12,480
    18) Making a "lighter" film than TMWTGG meant to Cubby and Lewis Gilbert that they should try to emulate 3 Stooges, Bozo the clown, and banana peel humor, to the nth degree. And get on the Stars Wars bandwagon and put Bond in space, naturally.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 5,990
    18) Who (woof woof woof woof) let the dogs out ? (sorry, too obvious to resist)

    19) (about 13) yes, but it will raise his eyebrows.

    20) Lot of nobilities among Drax's women.

    21) The CIA learned something from LALD.

    22) You can find warrior monks in Argentina.

    23) The double-taking pigeon is still one of the most stupid moments in Bond's cinematic history.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    edited January 2015 Posts: 12,480
    25) Sadistically killing a lovely young woman by dobermans tearing her to shreds can be just the ticket for introducing the right balance of somber drama into an otherwise lampoony, loony film.
  • 24) Sadistically killing a lovely young woman by dobermans tearing her to shreds can be just the ticket for introducing the right balance of somber drama into an otherwise lampoony, loony film.

    That was #25. 18 was posted twice.
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    OK I changed it to 25. :)
  • Posts: 5,990
    Difficult to post a numbered list when other people do the same at the same time.
  • Gerard wrote: »
    Difficult to post a numbered list when other people do the same at the same time.

    I understand. But that's why the edit button is there :)
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    26. Humans may not be able to outrun dogs, but a golf cart probably could.
    27. The future is 1979. Laser fights in space are possible.
    28. Moonraker would have been better if they just played the score through the whole film.
    29. Only James Bond can spot a sniper hiding in a tree.
    30. Bolos means balls in Spanish even if the scene is shot in Brazil where they speak Portuguese.
    31. In 1979, it was possible for someone to launch a space station from an ancient pyramid without NASA, the USSR or anyone noticing.
    32. A lab with deadly gas can be quickly cleaned up and turned into a large office without any residual effects.
    33. Venice can be used for more than background shots.



  • MooseWithFleasMooseWithFleas Philadelphia
    Posts: 3,368
    34. When falling out of the back of an ambulance, it's best to mount a horse and don a poncho before returning to HQ.
    35. Sneaky Asian with bowl cut makes a fabulous manservant.
    36. Jaws, you obey me.
    37. Shooting people out of trees is such good sport.
    38. Even a 70-year old can take 3 Gs
    39. A purse with a radio to base was standard CIA equipment in the late 70s
    40. If you are employed by an evil tyrant and the space station he created is exploding while you are on board, the only thing to do is to open a bottle of Bollinger and say Well... here's to us.
  • Posts: 1,146
    40) Don't throw the knife at the guy steering the gondola, throw it at BOND!
    41) Put the guy with the machine gun in the FRONT of the gondola!
    42) Let's build a gondola higher than the bridge!
    43) before the pidgeon does a double-take, let's have a sailor do the same thing!

    That's the stuff that had people making FUN of Bond films.
  • KerimKerim Istanbul Not Constantinople
    Posts: 2,629
    How could I forget...

    44. Pigeons are capable of doing double takes.
  • ThunderfingerThunderfinger Das Boot Hill
    Posts: 45,489
    45 Double-O agents have their number engraved on their spy gadgets, in case they lose them while spying.
  • Posts: 5,990
    46) Most people would have destroyed the gondola and kept the speedboat. But Bond isn't most people and does the opposite.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    47. Victor Turjansky only goes where Bond is.
  • 48) There's nothing odd about a man taking a romantic boat ride down the Venice canals by himself provided that man is 007.

    49) Drax called the ever reliable 1-800-HENCHMEN and was fortunate enough to have Jaws squeeze him into his schedule.
  • 50) That Moonraker is, in my opinion, the best Bond-movie of all time.
  • Posts: 1,146
    50) That Moonraker is, in my opinion, the best Bond-movie of all time.

    Seriously?
  • ThomasCrown76ThomasCrown76 Augusta, ks
    Posts: 757
    51. The sight of jaws makes even James Bond smile
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,778
    I forgot a couple I wanted to mention for OHMSS.

    40) Some men take a woman's panties as a sort of trophy for their conquest. Bond took Honey Ryder's hunting knife and knife belt as a love momento.

    41) After completing his mission in FRWL, Bond went all the way back to the orient express to retrieve Red Grant's garrote wire watch and took it as a keepsake.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,247
    52) SECRET agents stay secret by riding along one of the most famous, and packed with tourists, squares on a gondola-hovercraft.
    53) whenever evil masterminds start glass production for their evil plans, they start a glass museum as well as cover.
    54) Bond knows a woman-scientist when he sees one.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,778
    55) At any given time there are multiple vastly wealthy mentally insane megalomaniacs with massive empires and big brother reach trying to destroy the human population of the planet.

    I figure given the years of planning it would take that Drax and Stromberg were practically racing to see who could destroy the world first haha.
  • Agent007391Agent007391 Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
    Posts: 7,854
    56. Hugo Drax wasn't hiding sh*t, and still he was only a "possible" suspect.
  • edited January 2015 Posts: 1,778
    Time to move on to one of my favorite time-spans in the Bond series. The 1980s. An awesome decade that gave me 3 Bond films I cherish and 2 that I still enjoy very much. So far it's the only Bond decade that didn't produce a single Bond film that I didn't care for. So let's start shall we.
    Nobody comes close to James Bond 007 in,
    Things We've Learned from…..For Your Eyes Only.

    1) A solemn Bond laying flowers on Tracy's grave, in my view, made up for all the silliness in Moonraker. A touching moment.

    2) Between the years of 1969 and 1971 Blofeld made a full recovery from his broken neck and even grew a full head of hair. Unfortunately both would regress completely in the subsequent decade. Sorry Ernst.

    3) While being held at the mercy of the man who's wife you murdered on their wedding day, the best way to escape the impending calamity is to offer him a delicatessen in stainless steel. If that doesn't work just yell "Please".

    4) While being hung over the edge of a helicopter, demanding "Put me down" might not be the best choice of words.

    5) Melina won't think there's anything suspect about the pilot flying her home having a massive machine gun mounted on his plane.

    6) Apparently Roger Moore's deal for eternal youth expired on the last day of the 1970s.

    7) Melina, a marine biologist, will suddenly be able to pull off a spectacular shot on a falling target with a cross-bow simply because she's mad.

    8) Q had been slacking off with the bullet-proof glass on the Lotus.

    9) 007 will suddenly develop a moral objection to revenge along as the plot demands it.

    10) Kreiger, a trick-shot marksman, can't so much as graze Bond at a much closer distance than he's used to shooting at.

    11) Apparently Dick Tracy villains hang out at casinos in Greece.

    12) Slow-paced underwater sequences are no more thrilling than they were in Thunderball unless they lead into Bond and an underwear clad Melina pulling a LALD.

    13) Q moonlights as a priest.

    14) The part of this film's sinister Bond villain will be played by what looks like a stern middle-aged suburban father.

    15) Kristatos has some of the most loyal and determined henchman around who are willing to scale down the edge of a giant mountain with an old looking rope.

    16) A flimsy looking basket will support the weight of 2 full-grown men and a woman.

    17) Pistachios=Olympic Sponsorship.

    18) Margaret Thatcher will profusely thank and congratulate Bond despite the fact that he destroyed the one item he was sent to retrieve.

    19) Apparently Q and the defense minister haven't the faintest idea what Bond actually sounds like.

    20) In 1981 Roger Moore was Ian's Fleming's James Bond.


  • edited January 2015 Posts: 11,189
    21) The 80s weren't very subtle when it came to musical lyrics:

    "ooo...oooo...oo can you feel it inside you"


    22) Back then the designers of the title sequences could get away with full topless nudity.

    23). Liverpudlian accents don't always sound like how you would expect them to.

    24). Prime Ministers come and go but 007 never gets old (if he does he eventually becomes young again).
  • BAIN123 wrote: »
    21) The 80s weren't very subtle when it came to musical lyrics:

    "ooo...oooo...oo can you feel it inside you"


    22) Back then the designers of the title sequences could get away with full topless nudity.

    23). Liverpudlian accents don't always sound like how you would expect them to.

    24). Prime Ministers come and go but 007 never gets old (if he does he eventually becomes young again).

    =))
  • AceHoleAceHole Belgium, via Britain
    Posts: 1,731
    25). All young ice-skating prodigies have a serious Electra complex.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,247
    26) Flower shop owners think little of motorcyclists ramming their shop.
    27)Instead of just getting aboard the ship and kill everyone with a machinegun, it's a far better idea to mount machineguns on your floatplane and gun everyone down from the air.
    28) paper rolls are a good way to transport heroin.
    29) Russian Generals are willing to fly illegally through Greece (and Turkey, or Albania, or, at that time Yugoslavia), with the risk of getting shot down, to retreave a deciphering machine.
  • Posts: 5,990
    30) Villains should never discuss their plans in the same room as a parrot.
    31) 007 sins. And that's putting it mildly.
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