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Don't forget to go back and wash your hands after touching the door handle.
Breivik from the future warns himself that his 2011 terror is not worth it due to having to eat Fjordland (pre-made frozen) dinners and cold coffee.....utterly ridiculous skit but it gave me a chuckle :P
I was filling out my wife's form and told her to brush her hair for the photo. She came down with her hair brushed, her lipstick added and 'Have you put perfume on?' I asked.
'Yes. I want it to be right' she said.
'OK...whatever'
Bless.
My dear nackers, if that wasn't an invitation to start an interesting fotoshoot, I don't know what is... You should be happy she's still making herself beautiful for you!
I never thought of it like that Commander. I really didn’t... you may be on to something.
Look if I don’t sign in tomorrow you know I got lucky ;)
Commander Ross, to spice up your relations! no, wait, that just sounds wrong... :-D
A New Jersey man didn’t want to be late for his interview so he decided to paddle board across the Hudson River to get there.
Scott Holt, 32, said was running late for an interview in New York on Thursday and didn’t want to “splurge on a ferry.” So, he grabbed his paddle board and made his way onto the river, clad in a full suit and shoes.
“I actually expected it to take a really long time but it only took like a half hour,” Holt told InsideEdition.com. “It gave my shoes a free shoe shine and [it was] a free commute.”
Eunice Rivers, of Jersey City, was on the ferry to New York when she spotted Holt and decided to take a video.
“Everyone was like laughing and was like 'what is he doing?'” Rivers said. “I had to record it because no one was going to believe me.”
Rivers shared the video on her Facebook page where it has received more than 200,000 views.
“I thought it was quite hilarious,” Rivers said. “He was in a suit. He had a briefcase and a bow tie on.”
Holt said he was stopped by police, who gave him a bit of a scolding, but then they let him go.
Thankfully, he arrived at his interview with some time to spare.
I'm watching Nigeria vs Iceland, world cup qualifier. My wife enters, sits down and asks who is playing. I tell her.
After a pause she says
'So, which is which?'
'Sorry?'
'Which team is playing in which colour shirts?'
'Well...the black Nigerians are in green shirts. The white, blonde haired Icelanders are wearing the blue shirts'
'OK thanks. Got it.'
Hahahaha bless the wives,they can make you laugh out loud sometimes.
Massive Russian Cargo Ship With A Drunk Captain Plows Right Into Korean Bridge
Watching this video of the 5,998-ton Seagrand, a Russian cargo ship, slowly crash into the Gwangan Bridge in Busan, South Korea earlier today is one of those kinds of things that makes you want to yell at your screen. How does something like this happen? Everything involved is huge and either slow or stationary. What does it take to f--- up in such a grand and preventable manner? It seems a drunk captain helps.
Here, you watch for yourself:
At first I was wondering if, somehow, the crew just, uh, forgot they had those huge cranes on deck and thought they could somehow clear the bridge? That seemed pretty impossible, though.
The massive ship hit the bridge and caused some damage to itself and the lower part of the bridge, though thankfully nobody was injured. The ship then backed away, perhaps hoping nobody noticed, but the vessel was intercepted by the Korean Coast Guard (KCG).
The KCG questioned the crew about what the hell happened, and found that the captain had a blood alcohol level of 0.086 per cent. In case you’re not familiar with the blood alcohol limits for piloting cargo vessels, the maximum allowed is 0.03 per cent.
It’s legal to consume alcohol on a ship as long as you’re not the one steering; as yet, it’s not clear if the Cap’n Drunk was at the helm.
Under an hour or so before hitting the bridge, the Seagrand hit a cruise ship and prior to impacting the bridge the coastal navigation service contacted the ship to warn them about running their big-arse ship into the bridge, but the captain reportedly didn’t understand English well and may not have understood.
I mean, even if your English is terrible you’d think a panicked message from the port and a bridge filling up your view out the window might be enough to give a hint about what’s going on, but, you know, dude was pretty drunk.
The captain was detained by authorities and the owners and operators of the ship, VostokMorService and LLC SK Grand Shipping have been contacted.
In case you’re worried, the 1,400 tons of iron pipes carried on the ship made it to the port of Busan just fine, though.
http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/world/massive-russian-cargo-ship-with-a-drunk-captain-plows-right-into-korean-bridge/ar-BBUdFMY?li=AAgfYrC&OCID=AVRES000
That was ridiculous! Will the forward mast fit under the bridge? No. Will the cranes fit under the bridge? No. Will the bridge fit under the bridge? No. So full steam ahead!
He should've just hit 'Dive' like Brozza in the Q-Boat.
OMG! That is shocking!!! If I was driving a car on that bridge and saw that huge ship heading right at me? I would most certainly have changed the colour of my under crackers!!!
I love Carver! Such fantastic overacting!
Crew member : Captain , we're about to crash !
Ivan Drago : If it falls , it falls.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/missing-icelandic-tourist-goes-in-search-of-herself-8096831.html
Some punks keyed a BMW , its gonna cost owner 50-100k krones to repair it (10k $ is around 90k krones) , read it in newspaper
It’s life ,and it stinks ... it’s becoming anarchy
Dentures Discovered In Pensioner's Throat Over A Week After Operation.
Dentures should be removed before a general anaesthetic operation, a report has warned after a pensioner’s were found in his throat eight days after surgery.
The 72-year-old anonymous man had an operation at an unnamed hospital to remove a harmless lump in his abdominal wall, but six days later had to return to A&E.
He complained of blood in his mouth, swallowing difficulties and pain, which had prevented him from eating solid food, according to the report in the British Medical Journal.
The man was sent home and prescribed mouthwash, antibiotics and steroids to treat what doctors thought were the effects of having a tube down his throat during surgery and a respiratory infection.
But, two days later, the retired electrician returned to A&E with worsening symptoms - unable to swallow any of the medicine he was admitted with suspected pneumonia.
Doctors then discovered he had a semi-circular object lying across his vocal chords, which had caused internal swelling and blistering.
The report states: “On explaining this to the patient, he revealed that his dentures had been lost during his general surgery admission eight days earlier and consisted of a metallic roof plate and three front teeth.”
X-rays confirmed this was the foreign body lodged in his throat - he was taken for emergency surgery to remove them and discharged after six days in hospital.
However, a bout of bleeding forced him to return once more six days later, followed by a second visit 10 days after that, and a third six days after being discharged again.
Tests showed he had suffered an internal wound tissue around the site of the blistering which doctors then treated by cauterising, or burning, it to prevent further bleeding.
The man also required a blood transfusion because he had lost so much blood.
But his ordeal was far from over. Nine days after he was again discharged, he returned with further bleeding which required emergency surgery as the source of the bleed was a torn artery in the wound.
According to the report, a check-up a week after the procedure showed the tissue was healing, and six weeks after that the man had not needed further emergency care.
However, its authors state that this is not the first instance of dentures being inhaled while anaesthetic is being administered.
“There are no set national guidelines on how dentures should be managed during anaesthesia, but it is known that leaving dentures in during bag-mask ventilation allows for a better seal during induction, and therefore, many hospitals allow dentures to be removed immediately before intubation, as long as this is clearly documented,” it adds.
According to the authors, key lesson derived from the incident include clearly documenting before and after any procedure the presence of any dentures or false teeth, with all members of the surgical team made aware of what is to be done with them.