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'You couldn't make it up' !!! The stupid things people do.

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  • royale65royale65 Caustic misanthrope reporting for duty.
    Posts: 4,423
    You'd have thought that any dentures are removed before surgery. They even give a warning about your teeth getting scratched or whatever, during the anaesthetic process. Poor old codger.
  • DoctorKaufmannDoctorKaufmann Can shoot you from Stuttgart and still make it look like suicide.
    Posts: 1,261
    Maybe Bond should go to Greenland next?

    https://beta.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-us-must-take-greenland-by-force/2019/08/19/fc87ada8-c2b3-11e9-9986-1fb3e4397be4_story.html?outputType=amp&fbclid=IwAR3XrhIDCasKuih8ilUnNGlavSrY4t3jDKFr2__mMAu6_EZyXjVF6f1M2Qg
  • 4EverBonded4EverBonded the Ballrooms of Mars
    Posts: 12,480
    This seems the right thread for this.
    Also: of course it's Florida ... ;)
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    DoctorKaufmann wrote: »
    Maybe Bond should go to Greenland next?

    https://beta.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-us-must-take-greenland-by-force/2019/08/19/fc87ada8-c2b3-11e9-9986-1fb3e4397be4_story.html?outputType=amp&fbclid=IwAR3XrhIDCasKuih8ilUnNGlavSrY4t3jDKFr2__mMAu6_EZyXjVF6f1M2Qg

    I love the QOS reference as well . :))
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,339
    barryt007 wrote: »
    DoctorKaufmann wrote: »
    Maybe Bond should go to Greenland next?

    https://beta.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-us-must-take-greenland-by-force/2019/08/19/fc87ada8-c2b3-11e9-9986-1fb3e4397be4_story.html?outputType=amp&fbclid=IwAR3XrhIDCasKuih8ilUnNGlavSrY4t3jDKFr2__mMAu6_EZyXjVF6f1M2Qg

    I love the QOS reference as well . :))

    tbh the way this has played out? Even the Onion wouldn't be able to come up with something as redicoulous as this. I guess from now on every European state has to claim some realestate with Trump before a meeting. My country would like to buy New York (New Amsterdam, after all), can we send our King over for a state visit?
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,491
    A silly thing but as a retail employee I must say I enjoy the people who approach me and ask "Do you work here?" My initial response is "No I just stand here with a badge for kicks and giggles!"

    How about customers who say "Do you know where the washrooms are?" Always tempting to answer "yes I do." LOL

    Yes people say some pretty stupid things sometimes.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,339
    thedove wrote: »
    A silly thing but as a retail employee I must say I enjoy the people who approach me and ask "Do you work here?" My initial response is "No I just stand here with a badge for kicks and giggles!"

    How about customers who say "Do you know where the washrooms are?" Always tempting to answer "yes I do." LOL

    Yes people say some pretty stupid things sometimes.

    I'm just trying to sell an old bed online. On the website it says:
    Asking price, €70, bidding from €40.
    So what do I get in the email?
    'how much would you like to get for the bed?"

    Well, a couple of thousand would be nice.....
  • SaintMarkSaintMark
    Posts: 7,653
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    thedove wrote: »
    A silly thing but as a retail employee I must say I enjoy the people who approach me and ask "Do you work here?" My initial response is "No I just stand here with a badge for kicks and giggles!"

    How about customers who say "Do you know where the washrooms are?" Always tempting to answer "yes I do." LOL

    Yes people say some pretty stupid things sometimes.

    I'm just trying to sell an old bed online. On the website it says:
    Asking price, €70, bidding from €40.
    So what do I get in the email?
    'how much would you like to get for the bed?"

    Well, a couple of thousand would be nice.....

    When I tried to sell my kids bed as she had grown out of it people contacted me and where offering half the price but only if I included the duvet with covers , pillows and covers. I did ask one guy if he wanted pyjama's in a certain size as well. He thought that was an awesome idea and added he preferred size. He was kind of annoyed when it turned out to be sarcasm on my side.
    I did end up giving it to a friend with a kid who was in some financial troubles after the divorce. And I added the bed-cloths.
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 6,022
    In the history of bad ideas, I think that one is the worst :

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/26/donald-trump-suggests-nuking-hurricanes-to-stop-them-hitting-america-report

    And something else I don't understand : If, at the postal sorting center where I work, we don't have the right to take a coffee during work, why did they put coffee machines then ? Explain that to me.
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    Gerard wrote: »
    In the history of bad ideas, I think that one is the worst :

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/26/donald-trump-suggests-nuking-hurricanes-to-stop-them-hitting-america-report

    And something else I don't understand : If, at the postal sorting center where I work, we don't have the right to take a coffee during work, why did they put coffee machines then ? Explain that to me.

    God bless America 😆😆😆🤪🤪🤪
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 14,003
    giphy.gif

    That is like something Spitting Image would have come up with... 25 years ago. I mean... i'm not an expert, but how would that even work? Isn't there a chance that the nuke might be thrown out before detonation?
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited August 2019 Posts: 8,339
    SaintMark wrote: »
    CommanderRoss wrote: »
    thedove wrote: »
    A silly thing but as a retail employee I must say I enjoy the people who approach me and ask "Do you work here?" My initial response is "No I just stand here with a badge for kicks and giggles!"

    How about customers who say "Do you know where the washrooms are?" Always tempting to answer "yes I do." LOL

    Yes people say some pretty stupid things sometimes.

    I'm just trying to sell an old bed online. On the website it says:
    Asking price, €70, bidding from €40.
    So what do I get in the email?
    'how much would you like to get for the bed?"

    Well, a couple of thousand would be nice.....

    When I tried to sell my kids bed as she had grown out of it people contacted me and where offering half the price but only if I included the duvet with covers , pillows and covers. I did ask one guy if he wanted pyjama's in a certain size as well. He thought that was an awesome idea and added he preferred size. He was kind of annoyed when it turned out to be sarcasm on my side.
    I did end up giving it to a friend with a kid who was in some financial troubles after the divorce. And I added the bed-cloths.

    I'm starting to learn that this online selling really attracts the best and brightest from our country.
    'does the bed have a matress?"
    'can be, if you want it'
    'has it been used?'

    No of course not! I'm only selling second hand stuff straight out of the shop!

    Nuking tornados is an idea from the fifties. So The Don is truly ahead of his time. Hopefully he'll come to the same conclusion as the scientists then: you don't stop the tornado and it'll fling around the nuclear fallout wherever it goes.

    The coffee machine is just plain torture. I'd go to the European High court with it if they did that to me! (allthough, in my case, it'd be tea).

  • TracyTracy
    edited August 2019 Posts: 1,713
    Thnking of getting venomous snake ?

    Don't.

    (monocle cobra on the loose for days in Germany now , if bit you can die in mins) :|
  • fanbond123fanbond123
    Posts: 1,661
    One of the funniest or bizarre showbiz headlines of the year:
    TV presenter Anthea Turner's new fiancé 'bitterly regrets biting a policeman after taking magic mushrooms at New Year party'
    He went outside feeling peculiar and ended up assaulting a passerby who was trying to help, according to The Sun.

    Police were called to the scene and Mark then proceeded to bite an officer.

    Prosecutor Robert Simpson said earlier this year: 'Police officers arrived and he (Armstrong) went completely berserk.'

    He admitted assault and affray and was given a suspended six-week jail sentence.

    ;))
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    Just had 6 young lads panicking outside n waving to signal my wifey Vangie Gaban Tyler that men are breaking into the old pizza place nearby ,so I grabbed my old cricket bat and went for it in my bare feet only to find that my local kebab place are moving in there x that’s why I have so many scars ,take the problem head on but this time it’s good news !!
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    Posts: 8,339
    fanbond123 wrote: »
    One of the funniest or bizarre showbiz headlines of the year:
    TV presenter Anthea Turner's new fiancé 'bitterly regrets biting a policeman after taking magic mushrooms at New Year party'
    He went outside feeling peculiar and ended up assaulting a passerby who was trying to help, according to The Sun.

    Police were called to the scene and Mark then proceeded to bite an officer.

    Prosecutor Robert Simpson said earlier this year: 'Police officers arrived and he (Armstrong) went completely berserk.'

    He admitted assault and affray and was given a suspended six-week jail sentence.

    ;))

    I can tell you this: I've once been bitten by a girl that was probably on mushrooms. She was truly biting through (in my leg, laying on the beach). I had to kick her in the head to safe my own skin/ muscles.
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    She was just sucking the poison out ala Bond in TB !! ;)
  • thedovethedove hiding in the Greek underworld
    Posts: 5,491
    Okay this happened at work and I just have to put it down for all prosperity.

    I work in a retail store. A customer approached me and said her monogramming was ready to be picked up. I called Alterations (they are on the 3rd floor I am on the 1st) I ask the associate if the item is ready. He replies it is, I ask if he can bring it down as my co-worker is on lunch. I wait for him to come down. He arrives but is empty handed. I ask him again was the item ready. He says yes. I say then where is it? The associate says "Oh I'm sorry I am by myself I couldn't bring it down." I say "Sorry? You are down here, why didn't you bring the item with you?" He replies he couldn't bring it down as he was alone in the alteration department.

    At this point I start to laugh, the alterations person looks at me like why am I laughing. My co-worker comes back from break and he says to her, could she come up with him to get the item. The customer is standing there laughing too. Thank God! I say I am sorry that she has to wait longer. Her reply?

    "I'm glad he works for you and not me!"

    What the hell???? My co-worker and I are still laughing about it. On the way up to the Alteration area he said again how he was sorry he couldn't bring down the item. LOL!
  • GerardGerard
    Posts: 6,022
    You should post that on Not Always Right. Right away.
  • barryt007barryt007
    Posts: 19,339
    thedove wrote: »
    Okay this happened at work and I just have to put it down for all prosperity.

    I work in a retail store. A customer approached me and said her monogramming was ready to be picked up. I called Alterations (they are on the 3rd floor I am on the 1st) I ask the associate if the item is ready. He replies it is, I ask if he can bring it down as my co-worker is on lunch. I wait for him to come down. He arrives but is empty handed. I ask him again was the item ready. He says yes. I say then where is it? The associate says "Oh I'm sorry I am by myself I couldn't bring it down." I say "Sorry? You are down here, why didn't you bring the item with you?" He replies he couldn't bring it down as he was alone in the alteration department.

    At this point I start to laugh, the alterations person looks at me like why am I laughing. My co-worker comes back from break and he says to her, could she come up with him to get the item. The customer is standing there laughing too. Thank God! I say I am sorry that she has to wait longer. Her reply?

    "I'm glad he works for you and not me!"

    What the hell???? My co-worker and I are still laughing about it. On the way up to the Alteration area he said again how he was sorry he couldn't bring down the item. LOL!

    Hahaha what a pillock ,I think he needs an 'alteration' on his brain !!
  • MajorDSmytheMajorDSmythe "I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it."Moderator
    Posts: 14,003
    fanbond123 wrote: »
    One of the funniest or bizarre showbiz headlines of the year:
    TV presenter Anthea Turner's new fiancé 'bitterly regrets biting a policeman after taking magic mushrooms at New Year party'
    He went outside feeling peculiar and ended up assaulting a passerby who was trying to help, according to The Sun.

    Police were called to the scene and Mark then proceeded to bite an officer.

    Prosecutor Robert Simpson said earlier this year: 'Police officers arrived and he (Armstrong) went completely berserk.'

    He admitted assault and affray and was given a suspended six-week jail sentence.

    ;))

    On the upside, unwittingly (or so she claimed) shilling Flakes at her wedding isn't the worst thing to happen to her. =)) No doubt Eamon Holmes is having a good laugh at this.
  • CommanderRossCommanderRoss The bottom of a pitch lake in Eastern Trinidad, place called La Brea
    edited September 2019 Posts: 8,339
    barryt007 wrote: »
    She was just sucking the poison out ala Bond in TB !! ;)

    I don't know, I know film is all glamour but it did seem distinctly nicer in TB than what I had to endure.
  • mattjoesmattjoes Pay more attention to your chef
    Posts: 7,058
    thedove wrote: »
    Okay this happened at work and I just have to put it down for all prosperity.

    I work in a retail store. A customer approached me and said her monogramming was ready to be picked up. I called Alterations (they are on the 3rd floor I am on the 1st) I ask the associate if the item is ready. He replies it is, I ask if he can bring it down as my co-worker is on lunch. I wait for him to come down. He arrives but is empty handed. I ask him again was the item ready. He says yes. I say then where is it? The associate says "Oh I'm sorry I am by myself I couldn't bring it down." I say "Sorry? You are down here, why didn't you bring the item with you?" He replies he couldn't bring it down as he was alone in the alteration department.

    At this point I start to laugh, the alterations person looks at me like why am I laughing. My co-worker comes back from break and he says to her, could she come up with him to get the item. The customer is standing there laughing too. Thank God! I say I am sorry that she has to wait longer. Her reply?

    "I'm glad he works for you and not me!"

    What the hell???? My co-worker and I are still laughing about it. On the way up to the Alteration area he said again how he was sorry he couldn't bring down the item. LOL!

    :))
  • BondStuBondStu Moonraker 6
    Posts: 373
    No one mentioned Boris Johnson yet?
  • SaintMarkSaintMark
    Posts: 7,653
    BondStu wrote: »
    No one mentioned Boris Johnson yet?

    I thought we could never talk about Johnsons on this site as it was a family-site :)
  • BondStuBondStu Moonraker 6
    Posts: 373
    SaintMark wrote: »
    BondStu wrote: »
    No one mentioned Boris Johnson yet?

    I thought we could never talk about Johnsons on this site as it was a family-site :)

    Steady on old chap!
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