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Well, Lyutsifer Safin is a version of Lucifer Satan so that fits. >:)
Ah, I thought it was done arcane Q-related knowledge only you would know! :))
Yes, I think that must be what it is too. What a name to call a dog!
It's really pressing the lemon.
The literary James Bond has become like a pig in a meat processing plant. The only thing they lose is the squeal.
I guess it's the same with many IPs, but it doesn't fit Bond well. He lives in a "small" universe: the staff around him are exactly that: peripheral. It's not like Star Wars, with a whole galaxy to take your characters to (and from). Or the Arthurian legend.
This would be the last chance I’d give to a Bond spinoff for awhile. I’m happy that IFP took a chance, though. I hope people give Q a chance, as he’s always an enjoyable character.
I think there's been a move by IFP in the last two decades or so (basically since the Fleming family took over full control of the Bond literary copyright) to expand the Bond universe in various directions. So we've seen the likes of Young Bond, the Moneypenny Diaries, Felix Leiter comics and now this Q Mysteries series as expanded universe experiments. The Q Mysteries series is a little different in that he's really only a film Bond character and so it leads to a blurring of the lines between the literary Bond and film Bond. I'd have to say that that's something I'm really totally opposed to on principle. I realise that some of the continuation Bond novels under John Gardner and Raymond Benson had elements more in keeping with the Bond films but that's as far as I'd ideally want them to go in terms of crossover between the two distinct versions of Bond.
I agree that Bond is different from most other franchises in that Bond is really the only main recurring character of note. Yes, of course M, Bill Tanner, Moneypenny, Major Boothroyd/Q and Felix Leiter do play their respective parts but are any of them really interesting enough in their own right to carry a novel or a series of their own? I'm not so sure, even though they appear to have carried it off in the past. With these expanded universe types of thing there's always less or even no Bond involvement making you wonder what the point of it all is? I mean James Bond is what it's all about surely? The films and the adult Bond novels should be the bread and butter of the IP are are still what I think most serious minded Bond fans are really interested in and not extraneous matter which, no matter how interesting or otherwise, only takes us further away from the character of James Bond himself. And ultimately James Bond is why we're all fans of this particular character and indeed ultimately why we're all here.
Memorandum sent 18/1/2025
Classification: Gold level (For Your Eyes Only)
Dear colleagues,
The start of a new year. A time for resolutions. Including several dictated to us from on high. It won’t have escaped your notice that the recent Spending Review has left Q Branch leaner, greener, and, decidedly, meaner. It has further been suggested that we “foster a culture where EQ – Emotional Quotient – and not merely IQ – is employed as a metric of success.” I recently discussed this with M.
M’s contention is that agents trained to eliminate – with extreme prejudice – our enemies don’t need to be mollycoddled. His exact words were “Q, I don’t expect our Double Os to sit around holding hands singing “Kumbaya”, before putting a bullet through the likes of Blofeld.”
Nevertheless, this is the ideal moment to re-evaluate our role as the research and development division of the British Secret Service. The fact is that we have long been invaluable to our nation’s intelligence apparatus. On a recent trip to the archives, the idea of a Q Branch museum was mooted. Splendid notion.
Looking back, I am astounded by the inventiveness of our predecessors.
Take, for instance, the ‘pigeon camera’, a device designed to be strapped to Lord Nelson’s least favourite bird. In between dodging bombs and bullets, these adventurous pigeon pilots took thousands of critical reconnaissance photos during WW1. So effective were they that several went on to the status of war hero. I note here one such medallist: Cher Ami – “dear friend” to the linguistically challenged – awarded the Croix de Guerre by the French government. His stuffed remains may now be found in the Smithsonian Institute.
From the sublime to the ridiculous.
Back in the 1970s, our old friends across the pond, the CIA, developed what would become known as the T1151 “Dog Doo” transmitter. Deployed during the Vietnam War, this homing beacon was used to track supply movements along the Ho Chi Minh trail. The beacon was camouflaged to resemble a medium-sized faecal dropping. How’s that for lateral thinking?
This memo constitutes the first of a monthly series. My own attempt to get a little more “touchy-feely”, in line with HQ’s diktat. To this end, I shall set a puzzle in each memo, a means of promoting a little Q Branch esprit de corps. See postscript below for this month’s brain teaser.
Finally, I need not remind everyone that our mission here at Q Branch remains to develop the tech that keeps our field agents safe and operational. As ever, we work behind the scenes. Not for us the power and the glory. Nevertheless, we may take great pride in what we do. So, whatever your new year’s resolution, be it to learn to play “Ode to Joy” on the kazoo or to run the London Marathon in a Godzilla suit, I wish more power to your elbow, and a productive new year.
Sincerely,
Major Boothroyd
Head of Q Branch
P.S. Here is your first puzzle. One “winner” shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. Perhaps MI6 Archives might even stretch to rustling up a book to send you?* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter... This month’s puzzle is as follows: To whom am I referring below?
A headless corpse, this spy leaves behind.
And disputed legacy, now out of mind.
Enchantress once of men of state.
A byword now for quisling’s fate.
P.P.S. In light of the recent mishap with 007’s Bentley, no further vehicles are to be authorised to Double O agents without my express approval.
*UK entrants only, I’m afraid!
Memorandum sent 13/2/2025
Classification: Gold level (For Your Eyes Only)
Dear colleagues,
It has come to my attention that the coffee machine in the Q Branch kitchen has once again broken down. It beggars belief that a division renowned for its prowess at invention cannot persuade such a simple device to a) remain operational for longer than five minutes and b) dispense a cup of coffee that does not taste of boiled socks. Following my last run-in with the machine’s maintenance personnel, I am no longer permitted to negotiate this situation on our behalf. (Apparently, I have offended their delicate sensibilities.) Moneypenny has taken the matter in hand and, I am assured, will rectify the situation forthwith.
The coffee machine situation reminds me of recent setbacks on our solo-submersible project. As some of you may remember, the idea for this project originated with our field agents (specifically, one agent). At the time, objections were raised (by myself) as to the viability of the project, with some (again, yours truly) comparing it to The Great Panjandrum, a sort of armed, rocket-powered giant Catherine wheel, designed by British engineers during WW2, an invention so inept that it was never actually deployed. The Great Panjandrum, during its initial test, managed to not only utterly fail in its primary objective – rolling along a beach in a straight line – but misfired rockets in all directions, almost taking out several ranks of senior military brass, before crashing and fragmenting into bits in a series of violent explosions.
In spite of this, Q Branch’s objections to the proposed submersible programme were overruled. As M reminded us at the time, it is our duty, as the research and development arm of the British Secret Service, to provide for the needs of our agents. And if 007 says he needs a personal sub armed with a laser-guided warhead, then who are we to argue? (It should be noted that previous attempts at such armed mini-subs have largely been the domain of drug cartels. These so-called ‘narco-subs’, invariably constructed in potting sheds located deep in the South American jungle, are notoriously badly engineered, little more than tin death-traps for their hapless pilots, where paper bags serve as latrines and the primary propulsion device is no more sophisticated than a mouse-wheel.)
To be clear, I am not against the idea of submarines, and we shall plough ahead with fortitude, as ever. But the practical limitations of this particular design should not be underestimated. One can only think of the challenges faced by our predecessors. For instance, Dutch inventor Cornelis Drebbel, credited with the first propulsive submarine – a leather-covered and iron-reinforced rowboat oared by twelve men - built in 1620 under the auspices of King James I – he of Bible fame. This device – imaginatively christened Drebbel I - managed to submerge to a whopping depth of fifteen feet in the Thames. The British navy declined to utilise it.
Finally, congratulations to Matt G. for correctly ascertaining the answer to the puzzle in my previous memo, and for being fortunate enough to be picked at random from all the correct entries. The answer, of course, was Mata Hari. Below you will find this edition’s puzzle. Good luck!
Sincerely,
Major Boothroyd
Head of Q Branch
P.S. Here is this edition’s puzzle. One ‘winner’ shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. MI6 Archives shall rustle up a book to send to you* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter... This month’s puzzle is as follows: To what am I referring below?
A vessel now part of ocean lore.
Captained by a fabled submariner of yore.
An adventure tale to set imaginations aflame.
Marine Argonauts now share this name.
*UK entrants only, alas!